Monday 31 March 2014

Narcissism

“Since [narcissists] deep down, feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world's fault. Since they must deny their own badness, they must perceive others as bad. They project their own evil onto the world. They never think of themselves as evil, on the other hand, they consequently see much evil in others.”

― M, Scott Peck

NO ONE DENIED ME LOVE



On the A.A. calendar it was Year Two. . . . A newcomer appeared at one of these groups. . . . He soon proved that his was a desperate case, and that above all he wanted to get well. . . . [He said], “Since I am the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism, you may not want me among you.” TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 141-42

I came to you—a wife, mother, woman who had walked out on her husband, children, family. I was a drunk, a pill-head, a nothing. Yet no one denied me love, caring, a sense of belonging. Today, by God’s grace and the love of a good sponsor and a home group, I can say that—through you in Alcoholics Anonymous—I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a woman. Sober. Free of pills. Responsible.

Without a Higher Power I found in the Fellowship, my life would be meaningless. I am full of gratitude to be a member of good standing in Alcoholics Anonymous.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
~ General George S. Patton

Ask God For Help

"In thinking about our day we may face indecision. We may not be
able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for
inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. We relax and take
it easy. We don't struggle. We are often surprised how the right
answers come after we have tried this for a while."

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, Into Action, pg. 86

Listen To Your Elders

"Always listen to what the Elders say." 

--Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO

In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don't always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.

Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.

THE DOCTOR'S OPINION (pg. xxx)

However, he did become "sold" on the ideas contained in this book. He has not had a drink for a great many years. I see him now and then and he is as fine a specimen of manhood as one could wish to meet.

I earnestly advise every alcoholic to read this book through, and though perhaps he came to scoff, he may remain to pray.

William D. Silkworth, M.D.

God loves the world through us. --- Mother Teresa

In Step Three, we turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. How do we feel God's care, God's love? We feel God's care and love through how people treat us. Our Higher Power works through people who love us back to life. With time, we begin returning this care and love to others. We feel this warm love flow right through us and out to others. We're kind without trying to be. We smile at others for no reason. We comfort those who hurt just by holding them.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, use me to make Your love real to someone today.

Action for the Day: Fear sometimes keeps me from loving. I'll list three things I'm afraid will happen if I'm "to loving." I'll share these fears with my sponsor.

Stop Blaming

"We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who's right and who's wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don't like about our associates or our society. It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others. Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground."

~Pema Chodron (thanks to Rev. Barbara MacL)

Insides and outsides

Page 93

"Our real value is in being ourselves."

Basic Text, p. 105

As we work the steps, we're bound to discover some basic truths about ourselves. The process of uncovering our secrets, exposing them, and searching our characters reveals our true nature. As we become acquainted with ourselves, we'll need to make a decision to be just who we are.

We may want to take a look at what we present to our fellow addicts and the world and see if it matches up with what we've discovered inside. Do we pretend that nothing bothers us when, in truth, we're very sensitive? Do we cover our insecurities with obnoxious jokes, or do we share our fears with someone? Do we dress like a teenager when we're approaching forty and are basically conservative?

We may want to take another look at those things which we thought "weren't us." Maybe we've avoided NA activities because we "don't like crowds." Or maybe we have a secret dream of changing careers but have put off taking action because our dream "wasn't really right" for us. As we attain a new understanding of ourselves, we'll want to adjust our behavior accordingly. We want to be genuine examples of who we are.

Just for Today: I will check my outsides to make sure they match my insides. I will try to act on the growth I have experienced in recovery.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

NO ONE DENIED ME LOVE


On the A.A. calendar it was Year Two. . . . A newcomer appeared at one of these groups. . . . He soon proved that his was a desperate case, and that above all he wanted to get well. . . . [He said], “Since I am the victim of another addiction even worse stigmatized than alcoholism, you may not want me among you.”
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, pp. 141-42



I came to you—a wife, mother, woman who had walked out on her husband, children, family. I was a drunk, a pill-head, a nothing. Yet no one denied me love, caring, a sense of belonging. Today, by God’s grace and the love of a good sponsor and a home group, I can say that—through you in Alcoholics Anonymous—I am a wife, a mother, a grandmother and a woman. Sober. Free of pills. Responsible.

Without a Higher Power I found in the Fellowship, my life would be meaningless. I am full of gratitude to be a member of good standing in Alcoholics Anonymous.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Sunday 30 March 2014

Don't Be Afraid To Learn

“If we know exactly where we're going, exactly how to get there, and exactly what we'll see along the way, we won't learn anything. ”

―M.Scott Peck
A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.
~ Nelson Mandela

Chapter 1 BILL'S STORY (pg 9 & top 10)



The door opened and he stood there, fresh-skinned and glowing. There was something about his eyes. He was inexplicably different. What had happened?
I pushed a drink across the table. He refused it. Disappointed but curious, I wondered what had got into the fellow. He wasn't himself.

"Come, what's all this about?" I queried.

He looked straight at me. Simply, but smilingly, he said, "I've got religion."

I was aghast. So that was it-last summer an alcoholic crackpot; now, I suspected, a little cracked about religion. He had that starry-eyed look. Yes, the old boy was on fire all right. But bless his heart, let him rant! Besides, my gin would last longer than his preaching.

But he did no ranting. In a matter of fact way he told how two men had appeared in court, persuading the judge to suspend his commitment. They had told of a simple religious idea and a practical program of action. That was two months ago and the result was self-evident. It worked!

He had come to pass his experience along to me-if I cared to have it. I was shocked, but interested. Certainly I was interested. I had to be, for I was hopeless.

OUR GROUP CONSCIENCE



“. . . sometimes the good is the enemy of the best.” ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE, p. 101

I think these words apply to every area of A.A.’s Three Legacies: Recovery, Unity and Service! I want them etched in my mind and life as I “trudge the Road of Happy Destiny” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 164). These words, often spoken by cofounder Bill W., were appropriately said to him as the result of the group’s conscience. It brought home to Bill W. the essence of our Second Tradition: “Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.”

Just as Bill W. was originally urged to remember, I think that in our group discussions we should never settle for the “good,” but always strive to attain the “best.” These common strivings are yet another example of a loving God, as we understand Him, expressing Himself through the group conscience. Experiences such as these help me to stay on the proper path of recovery. I learn to combine initiative with humility, responsibility with thankfulness, and thus relish the joys of living my twenty-four hour program.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Clint H. "The Highway to Happiness" - AA Speaker

Stop demanding Anything- You aren't entitled

If anything, we have tended to be people who wanted it all now. To hope is not to demand. --- On Hope

Maybe we were a bit demanding. Maybe we were a bit impatient. Maybe that’s why we had such little hope.

Hope is believing good will come even in bad time. Hope is knowing that “this, too, shall pass.”

Hope is knowing that no matter how afraid we are, God will be with us. Hope is knowing we never have to be alone again. It is knowing that time that time is on our side. Hope is giving up control. Hope is knowing we never had control in the first place. Hope is believing in ourselves. Hope is what our program is all about.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, in our program we share our experiences, our strengths, and our hopes. Thank you for giving all three of these to me to share.

Action for the Day: I will share my hope for the future with myself, my Higher Power, and my friends. I also will share this with someone who has lost hope.

Stop Complicating Life




"Everything's so simple, and we make everything so complicated. That's why we're confused." 

--Vickie Downey, TEWA/Tesuque Pueblo

The Creator designed a very simple set of Laws for us to follow. If we follow these simple things, we'll be happy. If we don't follow these simple things, our lives become complicated. For example:

Respect Mother Earth

Love one another

Be truthful

Give to your brother and sisters

Be gentle with each other

Be happy

Following these simple Laws will have great rewards.

Great Spirit, let me lead a simple life.
Life's lessons are wasted if they are not passed on.
~ Bruno Gideon

God-centeredness


Page 92


"Gradually as we become more God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope."

Basic Text, p. 95


What a glorious thing to have hope! Before coming to Narcotics Anonymous, many of us lived lives of utter hopelessness. We believed we were destined to die from our disease.

Many members speak of being on a "pink cloud" their first months in the program. We've stopped using, made some friends, and life looks promising. Things are going great. Then reality sets in. Life is still life-we still lose jobs, our partners still leave us, friends still die, we still get sick. Abstinence is no guarantee that life will always go our way.

When the reality of life on its own terms sets in, we turn to our Higher Power and remember that life happens the way life happens. But no matter what occurs in our recovery we need not despair, for there is always hope. That hope lies in our relationship with our Higher Power.

This relationship, as expressed by the thought in our text, develops over time: "Gradually we become more God-centered". As we rely more and more on the strength of our Higher Power, life's struggles don't have to drag us into the sea of despair. As we focus more on God, we focus less on ourselves.


Just for Today: I will rely on my Higher Power. I will accept that, regardless of what happens, my Higher Power will provide me with the resources to live with it.


Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Saturday 29 March 2014

Whatever is in the heart will come up to the tongue.


Whatever is in the heart will come up to the tongue.---Persian proverb


During our illness, we wouldn't let people get close to us. We spoke of what was in our heart. And much of what filled our heart was sadness, anger, and hopelessness. Those who want to be close to us heard what was in our heart. In short, we had become our illness. Recovery is about changing what's in our heart. We open our hearts up to our Higher Power. The first three Steps are about honesty and needing others. They're about turning our will and our lives over to a Higher Power.
If you're wondering where you are with these Steps, listen to the words you speak.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, keep my heart open to the first three Steps.

Action for the Day: Today, I'll work at really listening to what I have to say.

Chapter 2 THERE IS A SOLUTION (pg 17)


WE, OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem. We are average Americans. All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds. We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. We are like the passengers of a great liner the moment after rescue from shipwreck when camaraderie, joyousness and democracy pervade the vessel from steerage to Captain's table. Unlike the feelings of the ship's passengers, however, our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined. The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.

Sandy B. - AA Speaker - "Problems Of Our Own Making"

A positive attitude causes a chain reaction of positive thoughts, events and outcomes. It is a catalyst and it sparks extraordinary results.
~ Wade Boggs

Our own true will


Page 91


"God's will for us consists of the very things we most value. God's will... becomes our own true will for ourselves."


Basic Text, p. 48


It's human nature to want something for nothing. We may be ecstatic when a store cashier gives us back change for a twenty though we only paid with a ten. We tend to think that, if no one knows, one small deception won't make any difference. But someone does know-we do. And it does make a difference.

What worked for us when we used, frequently doesn't work long in recovery. As we progress spiritually by working the Twelve Steps, we begin to develop new values and standards. We begin to feel uncomfortable when we take advantage of situations that, when we used, would have left us gloating about what we had gotten away with.

In the past, we may have victimized others. However, as we draw closer to our Higher Power, our values change. God's will becomes more important than getting away with something.

When our values change, our lives change, too. Guided by an inner knowledge given us by our Higher Power, we want to live out our newfound values. We have internalized our Higher Power's will for us-in fact, God's will has become our own true will for ourselves.


Just for Today: By improving my conscious contact with God, my values have changed. Today, I will practice God's will, my own true will.


From the book Just for Today

© Copyright 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

TRUSTED SERVANTS



They are servants. Theirs is the sometimes thankless privilege of doing the group’s chores. 


TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 134


In Zorba the Greek, Nikos Kazantzakis describes an encounter between his principal character and an old man busily at work planting a tree. “What is it you are doing?” Zorba asks. The old man replies: “You can see very well what I’m doing, my son, I’m planting a tree.” “But why plant a tree,” Zorba asks, “if you won’t be able to see it bear fruit?” And the old man answers: “I, my son, live as though I were never going to die.” The response brings a faint smile to Zorba’s lips and, as he walks away, he exclaims with a note of irony: “How strange—I live as though I were going to die tomorrow!”

As a member of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have found that the Third Legacy is a fertile soil in which to plant the tree of my sobriety. The fruits I harvest are wonderful: peace, security, understanding and twenty-four hours of eternal fulfillment; and with the soundness of mind to listen to the voice of my conscience when, in silence, it gently speaks to me, saying: You must let go in service. There are others who must plant and harvest.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.
Open your eyes, look within. Are you satisfied with the life you're living?
Bob Marley

Friday 28 March 2014

We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
~ Ronald Reagan

There is a solution.

"There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching,
the leveling of our pride, the confession of shortcomings which the
process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it
really worked in others..."


~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, There Is A Solution, pg. 25~
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
~ Norman Vincent Peale

Clancy I. - AA Speaker - One of his funniest talks ever!

Start The Day With Prayer


"One of the essential characteristics we need to learn as men was to be gentle, and to be gentle means to be serene, to enter meditation or a prayerful state in the morning and evening." 

--Larry P. Aitken, CHIPPEWA

The most important talk we can do during any day, is to start the day with prayer and meditation. We need to ask the Creator to be in our lives. We ask Him to direct our thinking. We ask Him for the courage and the power to be gentle. In the morning quiet time, we make our request for guidance using our spiritual tools. We pray for the people and we pray for ourselves. In the evening we thank the Creator for the day, for the lessons and for the opportunity to be of service to others. Then we go to sleep.

Great Spirit, today, show me the power of being gentle.

Ask Yourself A Question


"We needed to ask ourselves but one short question. 'Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater than myself?' As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective spiritual structure can be built."

Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, We Agnostics, pg. 47

Thought for Today


"Life is overflowing with the new. But it is necessary to empty out
the old to make room for the new to enter."


~ Eileen Caddy
Believe you can and you're halfway there.
~ Theodore Roosevelt

Earl H. "Catch a Buzz with the 12 Steps of Recovery" AA Speaker (Part 2 of 2)

Everyone has A Song To Sing

"But each of us must find out for himself or herself what their gift is, so that they can use it in their life."
~ Jimmy Jackson, OJIBWAY

The old people say, everyone has a song to sing. This song is the reason we are on this earth. When we are doing what we came on this earth to do, we know true happiness. How will we know our song? Pray. Ask the Great Mystery, "What is it you want me to do during my stay on earth?" Ask. He will tell you. He will even help you develop yourself to accomplish His mission.

Great Spirit, help me find my song and let me sing it.

What Do I Do Next to Stay Sober?

Grapevine September 1968
Stay cheerful; stick with the winners; get busy; take the Twelve Steps

ALL RIGHT; tonight I'm (hopefully) assuming there's one person in this room who for good reason has been exploring AA lately; someone who has been having trouble with his drinking and to whom the AA message has been carried; who is over the worst of the withdrawal whimwhams and has begun to look around him and wonder what he's getting into. And who has begun to ask questions, like "What is an alcoholic, anyway?" and "What is this thing called AA?"

As he thinks about the answers he has received, with his mind made up that there's a pretty good chance he belongs here, naturally at this point he wants to know what he does next in order to put this thing to work for him all the way.
The customary initial suggestions have been made to him, and again I'm assuming that he is following them: meetings, meetings, and more meetings; staying away from one drink one day at a time; using the AA tools--the 24-hour plan, the Slogans, the telephone therapy, the Serenity Prayer.

What our beginner does now is more of the same. These are the things he has done and the tools he has used to keep him sober today, thus far, and with us it's always today. I'd like to add one heartfelt recommendation of my own, and that's to do a little realistic thinking along about now, and adopt and latch on to a healthy set of attitudes in relation to the entire situation.

I often quote the politician who with equal facility could either "anticipate with delight" or "view with alarm." Which approach is the beginner bringing to his new life in AA? His choice will make all the difference in how much or how little he gets out of AA above and beyond physical sobriety. The positive attitude in any endeavor is the onethat gets results. The negative attitude never gets off the ground--nor, sometimes, does the alcoholic who persists in "viewing with alarm."

The negative approach says, "Poor me. Why me? So I'm sober, but I don't have to like it." The negative type, to be sure, does look around him, but not at the living good examples in an AA meeting, He looks back over his shoulder, out yonder, and thinks: "Joe Bloke can drink and! can't. I'm as good a man as Joe Bloke ever was. It's a damned shame I can't drink like Joe Bloke can. . . . Who says I can't? I'll show them!" And he sure does.

The positive approach to AA might go something like this. . . .

Admitted: I have a problem with drinking.

There is a place where I can get help for my problem. That place is AA. I'm a lucky guy (or gal) that there is an AA.

AA teaches me that I cannot safely drink, since I am an alcoholic. There are lots of things worse than being an alcoholic. There are many diseases I definitely would not exchange my alcoholism for. Not all of them can be arrested; mine can. I'm lucky I'm only an alcoholic. For me there is hope. I accept.

I realize I'm giving up nothing that's doing me any good; I'm getting rid of something I can no longer live with, and these people tell me I can very well live without. They will even tell me how to do it.

I have a lot to learn, so I'd better listen good.

I see around me in AA people who are apparently very well adjusted to getting along without drinking. Most of them even seem to prefer it this way. They look fine; they're cheerful, lively, busy, happy. I want some of that, too, along with just merely keeping out of trouble.

I'll stand on my head at high noon every day, if they tell me that's what they did to get this thing. . . .

What else can our beginner do now to help along the quality as well as the quantity of his sobriety?

You can "stick with the winners," whose sobriety is the kind you want. Stay away as much as possible--perhaps altogether, for a while, until you're on more solid ground--from old drinking pals who can't be expected to take your present effort as seriously as you do, and whose drinking can set up a resentment in you against your "lot." Resentments can set anyone off again. They're one luxury alcoholics absolutely cannot afford.

Don't push your luck. Meals can be found in coffee shops, telephones in drugstores. There's no valid need to go on patronizing your neighborhood bar for commodities such as these. And don't be afraid you'll miss seeing the "kindred souls" in that bar. They may be our beginners of tomorrow! We who are here tonight are the alumni of many bars; we're your kindred spirits, too. You may even get to like us better this way than as the kind of barroom companions we used to be.

Do you like to read? We have a magazine, the Grapevine, that's delightful. We have books you'll get to love. There is also the "little black book," 24 Hours a Day; spend five minutes with it every morning--it will start your day out right.
Get busy around the group of your choice. First, of course, join a group. Put down roots, so that you'll become known and will be around and available where the activity is. It's true there are no formal "musts" in AA, but you'll find there are any number of "You'll be better off if you do's," and this is one of them.

Count your blessings often. There arc more of them than you perhaps realize, already, and they'll increase with every twenty-four hours of sobriety. Count them especially if you should feel a little self-pity or depression creeping in; force yourself to; see how long your self-pity lasts under that treatment. Counting your blessings will help you stay grateful, and gratitude will help you stay sober.

Never say "Never" to anything that comes along in AA. Say "Not today," if you must, but don't set up blocks in your mind that can later become roadblocks in the path to the kind of sobriety you want. At the same time, keep your expectations simple, and watch your natural impatience. Not all of your problems will clear up overnight; they didn't accumulate overnight. Nor is AA going to solve all your problems. It can and will take care of your Number One problem, drinking. And indirectly, through your own sobriety, it will help you solve the others. But this will take a little time; just remember that, in adding one day's sobriety to another, you're gaining on your other objectives.

As for the horrible past and the remorse that sometimes threatens to swamp you--don't be too hard on yourself. You have been a very sick person; you're just beginning to recover. The Twelve Steps will enable you, when you're ready to tackle them, to do all that needs to be done about that past, so that "you can finally let it go; until you are strong enough and ready to deal with it, it will keep. Meantime, this is today, and this is the time in your life that counts--right now.

Bob N.
Scarsdale, New York

Facing feelings



Page 90

"We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic."

Basic Text, p. 30

While we were using, many of us were unable or unwilling to feel many emotions. If we were happy, we used to make us happier. If we were angry or depressed, we used to mask those feelings. In continuing this pattern throughout our active addiction, we became so emotionally confused that we weren't sure what normal emotions were anymore.

After being in recovery for some time, we find that the emotions we had suppressed suddenly begin to surface. We may find that we do not know how to identify our feelings. What we may be feeling as rage may only be frustration. What we perceive as suicidal depression may simply be sadness. These are the times when we need to seek the assistance of our sponsor or other members of NA. Going to a meeting and talking about what is happening in our lives can help us to face our feelings instead of running from them in fear.

Just for Today: I will not run from the uncomfortable emotions I may experience. I will use the support of my friends in recovery to help me face my emotions.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

EQUALITY


Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 563

Prior to A.A., I often felt that I didn’t “fit in” with the people around me. Usually “they” had more/ less money than I did, and my points of view didn’t jibe with “theirs.” The amount of prejudice I had experienced in society only proved to me just how phony some self-righteous people were. After joining A.A., I found the way of life I had been searching for. In A.A. no member is better than any other member; we’re just alcoholics trying to recover from alcoholism.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Thursday 27 March 2014

Earl H. "Catch a Buzz with the 12 Steps of Recovery" AA Speak

Listen to Earl H. "Catch a Buzz with the 12 Steps of Recovery" AA Speak.


Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones,
you'll start having positive results. ~ Willie Nelson

AA AND THE TWELVE STEPS

From the book Alcoholics Anonymous: "In spite of the great increase in the size and span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope."

What is the Twelve Step Model? How is it a "treatment for alcoholism" or "alcohol abuse?"

From Wikipedia: "A twelve-step program is a set of guiding principles (accepted by members as 'spiritual principles,' based on the approved literature) outlining a course of action for recovery from addiction, compulsion, or other behavioral problems. Originally proposed by Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) as a method of recovery from alcoholism, the Twelve Steps were first published in the book Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How More Than One Hundred Men Have Recovered from Alcoholism in 1939. The method was then adapted and became the foundation of other twelve-step programs. Twelve-step methods have been adopted to address a wide range of substance-abuse and dependency problems."

You can find out more at: http://www.aa.org - Alcoholics Anonymous Official Site (And as should be blatantly obvious, we are in no way affiliated with them or any other 12 step program. We are just looking to provide hope to those suffering from alcoholism or addiction.)

"Addiction treatment" WORKS! There is addiction help out there and "addiction recovery" is possible. If you are battling "alcohol addiction" there are people who know EXACTLY what it is like! 

It is important to note there are several ways for one to address his or her "alcohol abuse treatment." "Substance abuse" is a very serious condition. Many need inpatient stays or counseling. The importance and purpose of this video, and all our other videos, is to show that recovery IS possible and to give hope to those who are struggling with substance abuse issues. Help IS out there! :)

From the Big Book of AA: "Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend's simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men."

Mickey B. - AA Speaker - "His Funniest talk EVER!"

This tape is extremely funny. Mickey B. is an incredibly funny AA speaker who also shares a wonderful and powerful story of recovery with us. There are loads of  little sayings and acronyms that Mickey puts in there. This is a  very  entertaining share and is sure to have you laughing throughout! Enjoy! Stay sober one day at a time. This is 72 minutes long.


Coming Soon, AA Speakers Section - Come back To Check

I have decided to add a tab to include links to AA speakers. I hope you will enjoy these talks and benefit from them.

An Abnormal Condition


"Cessation of drinking is but the first step away from a highly
strained, abnormal condition."


~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 122~

Canadian? Looking For AA in Ontario? - Check Out this Site

A  friend of mine (Hugh H.) in the fellowship is webmaster for the AAlondon.org website. It contains all the information you might require for achieving and maintaining sobriety in the London Ontario Region. I would advise that you perhaps check it out if you live in that neck of the woods.

Failure is an attitude.

Failure is impossible. --- Susan B. Anthony

Failure is an attitude. Having an attitude of failure can't help us. It can only hurt us. If we're not careful, it can grow into a way of life. So, when we feel like failures, we better look at our attitudes.

An attitude of failure often comes from making mistakes. But we can learn to see our mistakes as lessons. This turns mistakes into gains, not failures. Sometimes, we try to do things that just can't be done.

When we act like we know everything, we're going to fail. if we try to act like God, we're going to fail.

We can't control others. We can't know everything. We're not God. We're human. If we act human, we've already won.

Prayer for the Day: Higher power, help me to learn from my attitudes. Whatever the outcome, help me learn.

Action for the Day: Facing our past "failures" is the first step to learning from them. I'll talk to my sponsor about a past "failure" and the good that came from it.
Be kind whenever possible.
    It is always possible.
       ~ Dalai Lama

Find Out What Your Gifts Are

"But each of us must find out for himself or herself what their gift is, so that they can use it in their life." 

--Jimmy Jackson, OJIBWAY

The old people say, everyone has a song to sing. This song is the reason we are on this earth. When we are doing what we came on this earth to do, we know true happiness. How will we know our song? Pray. Ask the Great Mystery, "What is it you want me to do during my stay on earth?" Ask. He will tell you. He will even help you develop yourself to accomplish His mission.

Great Spirit, help me find my song and let me sing it.

Think Of Others

Whatever happiness is in the world has arisen from a wish for the welfare 
of others; whatever misery there is has arisen from indulging selfishness.


-Buddhist Proverb

Looking For The Assets


"In accordance with the principles of recovery we try not to judge, stereotype, or moralize with each other"

Basic Text p. 11


How many times in our recovery have we misunderstood the behavior of another, immediately formed a judgment, applied a label, and neatly tucked the individual into a pigeonhole? Perhaps they had developed a different understanding of a Power greater than themselves than we had, so we concluded their beliefs were unspiritual. Or maybe we saw a couple having an argument; we assumed their relationship was sick, only to find out later that their marriage had prospered for many years.

Thoughtlessly tossing our fellows into categories saves us the effort of finding out anything about them. Every time we judge the behavior of another, we cease to see them as potential friends and fellow travelers on the road to recovery. If we happened to ask those we are judging if they appreciate being stereotyped, we would receive a resounding "no" in response. Would we feel slighted if this were done to us? Yes, indeed. Our best qualities are what we want others to notice. In the same way, our fellow recovering addicts want to be well thought of. Our program of recovery asks us to look positively at life. The more we concentrate on the positive qualities in others, the more we'll notice them in ourselves.

Just for today: I will set aside my negative judgments of others, and concentrate instead on appreciating the favorable qualities in all.


Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

A.A.’s FREEDOMS


We trust that we already know what our several freedoms truly are; that no future generation of AAs will ever feel compelled to limit them. Our AA freedoms create the soil in which genuine love can grow. . . .
THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART, p. 303

I craved freedom. First, freedom to drink; later, freedom from drink. The A.A. program of recovery rests on a foundation of free choice. There are no mandates, laws or commandments. A.A.’s spiritual program, as outlined in the Twelve Steps, and by which I am offered even greater freedoms, is only suggested. I can take it or leave it. Sponsorship is offered, not forced, and I come and go as I will. It is these and other freedoms that allow me to recapture the dignity that was crushed by the burden of drink, and which is so dearly needed to support an enduring sobriety.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Wednesday 26 March 2014

Frothy emotional


"Frothy emotional appeal seldom suffices. The message which can
interest and hold these alcoholic people must have depth and weight.
In nearly all cases, their ideals must be grounded in a power greater
than themselves, if they are to re-create their lives."


~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Doctor's Opinion, pg. xxviii~

If Life is a Game, These are the Rules #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #12x12 #Steps

12 Steps Simplified!

1. There's a power that will kill me. (Booze or other drug)

2. There's a power that wants me to live. (God as you understand him/her. Higher Power)

3. Which do I want? (If you want to die, stop here. If you want to live, go on.)

4. Using examples from your own life, understand that selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, 
and fear control your actions.

5. Tell all your private, embarrassing secrets to another person.

6. Decide whether or not you want to live that way any more.

7. If you want your life to change, ask a power greater than yourself to change it for you. (If you could have changed it yourself, you would have long ago.)

8. Figure out how to make right all the things you did wrong.

9. Fix what you can without causing more trouble in the process.

10. Understand that making mistakes is part of being human (When you make a mistake, fix it, immediately if you can.)

11. Ask for help to treat yourself and others the way you want your higher power to treat you.

12. Don't stop doing 1 through 11, and Pass It On!!

~ Author Unknown

    Positive anything is
better than negative nothing.
~ Elbert Hubbard

The Greatest Happiness

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved - loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."

~ Victor Hugo

Trusting a sponsor - worth the risk

Page 88

"In seeking a sponsor, most members look for someone they feel they can learn to trust, someone who seems compassionate ..."

IP No. 11, Sponsorship, Revised

The idea of sponsorship may be new to us. We have spent many years without direction, relying only on self-interest, suspecting everyone, trusting no one. Now that were learning to live in recovery, we find we need help. We can't do it alone anymore; we must take the risk of trusting another human being. Often, the first person we take that risk with is our sponsor-someone we respect, someone we identify with, someone we have reason to trust.

As we open up to our sponsor, a bond develops between us. We disclose our secrets and develop confidence in our sponsor's discretion. We share our concerns and learn to value our sponsor's experience. We share our pain and are met with empathy. We get to know one another, respect one another, love one another The more we trust our sponsor, the more we learn to trust ourselves.

Trust helps us move away from a life of fear, confusion, suspicion, and indirection. In the beginning, it feels risky to trust another addict. But that trust is the same principle we apply in our relationship with a Higher Power-risky or not, our experience tells us we can't do without it. And the more we take the risk of trusting our sponsor, the more open we will feel about our lives.

Just for Today: I want to grow and change. I will risk trusting my sponsor and find the rewards of sharing.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

THE TEACHING IS NEVER OVER



Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you—until then.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 164

These words put a lump in my throat each time I read them. In the beginning it was because I felt, “Oh no! The teaching is over. Now I’m on my own. It will never be this new again.” Today I feel deep affection for our A.A. pioneers when I read this passage, realizing that it sums up all of what I believe in, and strive for, and that—with God’s blessing—the teaching is never over, I’m never on my own, and every day is brand new.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Tuesday 25 March 2014

The Preamble to Alcoholics Anonymous

Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions.

A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; neither endorses nor opposes any causes.

Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety.

Copyright © 1947 by the AA Grapevine
You are never too old
to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
~ C. S. Lewis

Reality

Reality as it is becomes the right view of the meditator. Thinking of it as it is becomes the right thought. Awareness of it as it is becomes the right awareness. Concentration on it as it is becomes the right concentration. Actions of the body and speech are then aligned to reality as it is. In this way the meditator develops and is fulfilled.

-Majjhima Nikaya

Thought for Today



Powerlessness 

Who cares to admit complete defeat?
Practically no one, of course.
Every natural instinct cries out against the idea of
personal powerlessness.
It is truly awful to admit that, glass in hand,
we have warped our minds
into such an obsession for destructive drinking
that only an act of Providence can remove it from us.

Thought to Ponder . . .

We surrender to win.

AA-related 'Alconym' . . .

K I S S = Keep It Simple, Surrender.

I can't, but we can

Page 87.

"From the isolation of our addiction, we find a fellowship of people with a common bond... Our faith, strength, and hope come from people sharing their recovery..."

Basic Text, p. 98

Admit no weakness, conceal all shortcomings, deny every failure, go it alone-that was the creed many of us followed. We denied that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable, despite all evidence to the contrary. Many of us would not surrender without the assurance there was something worth surrendering to. Many of us took our First Step only when we had evidence that addicts could recover in Narcotics Anonymous.

In NA, we find others who've been in the same predicament, with the same needs, who've found tools that work for them. These addicts are willing to share those tools with us and give us the emotional support we need as we learn to use them. Recovering addicts know how important the help of others can be because they've been given that help themselves. When we become a part of Narcotics Anonymous, we join a society of addicts like ourselves, a group of people who know that we help one another recover.

Just for Today: I will join in the bond of recovery. I will find the experience, strength, and hope I need in the Fellowship of Narcotics Anonymous.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

A FULL AND THANKFUL HEART


I try hard to hold fast to the truth that a full and thankful heart cannot entertain great conceits. When brimming with gratitude, one’s heartbeat must surely result in outgoing love, the finest emotion that we can ever know.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 37

I believe that we in Alcoholics Anonymous are fortunate in that we are constantly reminded of the need to be grateful and of how important gratitude is to our sobriety. I am truly grateful for the sobriety God has given me through the A.A. program and am glad I can give back what was given to me freely. I am grateful not only for sobriety, but for the quality of life my sobriety has brought. God has been gracious enough to give me sober days and a life blessed with peace and contentment, as well as the ability to give and receive love, and the opportunity to serve others—in our Fellowship, my family and my community. For all of this, I have “a full and thankful heart.”

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Monday 24 March 2014

Archie doesn't know how to worry without getting upset. --- Edith Bunker



Most us are like Edith's television husband, Archie. When we worry, we get upset. Problems seem too big for us. We get afraid. We feel powerless. What does the program tell us to do when we feel powerless and our life is upset? We look at the problem honestly . Than we ask our Higher Power to help us with the problem. We take it One Day at a Time. We believe our Higher Power will take care of us and help. We'll have problems. That's life! But we can get through them with care and support. We don't have to get crazy. We don't have to make things worst. We can be kind to ourselves and live through problems just fine---with our Higher Powers help.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me do what I can today about my problems. Help me stop worrying.

Action for the Day: If I have problems today, I'll do what I can---and leave the outcome to my Higher Power.
Don't cry because it's over,
smile because it happened.
~ Dr. Seuss

Chapter 1 BILL'S STORY (pg 1)

WAR FEVER ran high in the New England town to which we new, young officers from Plattsburg were assigned, and we were flattered when the first citizens took us to their homes, making us feel heroic. Here was love, applause, war; moments sublime with intervals hilarious. I was part of life at last, and in the midst of the excitement I discovered liquor. I forgot the strong warnings and the prejudices of my people concerning drink. In time we sailed for "Over There". I was very lonely and again turned to alcohol.

We landed in England. I visited Winchester Cathedral. Much moved, I wandered outside. My attention was caught by a doggerel on an old tombstone:

"Here lies a Hampshire Grenadier
Who caught his death
Drinking cold small beer.
A good soldier is ne'er forgot
Whether he dieth by musket
Or by pot."

Ominous warning-which I failed to heed.
Twenty-two, and a veteran of foreign wars, I went home at last. I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my battery given me a special token of appreciation? My talent for leadership, I imagined, could place me at the head of vast enterprises which I would manage with the utmost assurance.

We Are All The Same

The concept that we are all related is one of the basic philosophies of D/Lakota religion.

--Dr. A.C. Ross (Ehanamani), LAKOTA

The Medicine Wheel teaches the four directions of the races, Red people, Yellow people, Black people and White people. These four directions are symbolic of all races. Everything in the circle is connected and related. All races are brothers and sisters. If we are related to each other, then it is important to love one another as brother and sister, aunt and uncle, Fathers and Mothers, Grandfathers and Grandmothers. We need to care for each other and especially respect each other. We need to honor one another's differences whether that difference is the color of our skin or our opinions. We should respect differences.

Happiness Is In Purifying Your Mind


The happiness we seek, a genuine lasting peace and happiness, can be attained only through the purification of our minds. This is possible if we cut the root cause of all suffering and misery—our fundamental ignorance.
-His Holiness the Dalai Lama, The World of Tibetan Buddhism

Letting go of the past


Page 86

"It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going."

Basic Text, p. 23

When we first find recovery, some of us feel shame or despair at calling ourselves "addicts" In the early days, we may be filled with both fear and hope as we struggle to find new meaning in our lives. The past may seem inescapable and overpowering. It may be hard to think of ourselves in any way other than the way we always have.

While memories of the past can serve as reminders of what's waiting for us if we use again, they can also keep us stuck in a nightmare of shame and fear. Though it may be difficult to let go of those memories, each day in recovery can bring us that much farther away from our active addiction. Each day, we can find more to look forward to and less to punish ourselves for.

In recovery, all doors are open to us. We have many choices. Our new life is rich and full of promise. While we cannot forget the past, we don't have to live in it. We can move on.

Just for Today: I will pack my bags and move out of my past into a present filled with hope.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

ACTIVE, NOT PASSIVE


Man is supposed to think, and act. He wasn’t made in God’s image to be an automaton.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 55


Before I joined A.A., I often did not think, and reacted to people and situations. When not reacting I acted in a mechanical fashion. After joining A.A., I started seeking daily guidance from a Power greater than myself, and learning to listen for that guidance. Then I began to make decisions and act on them, rather than react to them. The results have been constructive; I no longer allow others to make decisions for me and then criticize me for it.

Today—and every day—with a heart full of gratitude, and a desire for God’s will to be done through me, my life is worth sharing, especially with my fellow alcoholics! Above all, if I do not make a religion out of anything, even A.A., then I can be an open channel for God’s expression.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Sunday 23 March 2014

If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude.
~Maya Angelou

Take responsibility for yor life.

The manner with which we walk through life is each man's most important responsibility, and we should remember this with every new sunrise." 

--Thomas Yellowtail, CROW

Every spiritual person should carry a vision of God's will in every area of their life. One day at a time, each morning at sunrise, we should spend time praying to the Creator. We should say something like, my Creator, this morning I ask you to show me, in terms I can understand, what you have or me to do. By doing this daily, over time, we will develop an unquestionable vision. Each person is responsible for taking the time to do this. It will bring great joy and peace of mind to those warriors who do.

My Creator, give me the vision, today, of what you want me to do.

No More Fantasies

The key, during both life and death, is to recognize illusions as illusions, projections as projections, and fantasies as fantasies. In this way we become free.
-Lama Thubten Yeshe, Introduction to Tantra

Chapter 1 BILL'S STORY (pg 8 & top 9)

No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.

Trembling, I stepped from the hospital a broken man. Fear sobered me for a bit. Then came the insidious insanity of that first drink, and on Armistice Day 1934, I was off again. Everyone became resigned to the certainty that I would have to be shut up somewhere, or would stumble along to a miserable end. How dark it is before the dawn! In reality that was the beginning of my last debauch. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.

Near the end of that bleak November, I sat drinking in my kitchen. With a certain satisfaction I reflected there was enough gin concealed about the house to carry me through that night and the next day. My wife was at work. I wondered whether I dared hide a full bottle of gin near the head of our bed. I would need it before daylight.

My musing was interrupted by the telephone. The cheery voice of an old school friend asked if he might come over. He was sober. It was years since I could remember his coming to New York in that condition. I was amazed. Rumor had it that he had been committed for alcoholic insanity. I wondered how he had escaped. Of course he would have dinner, and then I could drink openly with him. Unmindful of his welfare, I thought only of recapturing the spirit of other days. There was that time we had chartered an airplane to complete a jag! His coming was an oasis in this dreary desert of futility. The very thing-an oasis! Drinkers are like that.

Start Anew...


With each sunrise, we start anew. --- Anonymous

Like a tree, our life depends on new growth. There are many ways to bring new ideas and growth into our lives. We can attend Twelve Step retreats. We can study books and tapes on spirituality.
We can attend different Twelve Step meetings.
But our spiritual newness may not just come from the Twelve Steps. We can do volunteer work or be active in other types of groups. We need to invite new ideas into our lives. We need to stay open to change. It doesn’t matter what renews our spiritual growth. What matters is that we keep our spiritual lives fresh and growing.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, spring is one of the four seasons. Help me feel like spring. Help me to be strong but not stuck Help me be firm yet open to spiritual growth.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll try to do something new. When I get stuck or stubborn, I’ll see that it’s due to my fear of trying new ideas.
Keep praying,
but be thankful
that God's answers
are wiser than your prayers!
~ William Culbertson

Don't be sidetracked

"You have wandered away from your teachings. You must concentrate on your spiritual teachings...Don't be sidetracked." 

--Henry Quick Bear, LAKOTA

Why are the Elders always telling us to know The culture and listen to the teachings? When We go off track, why do the Elders say, return to the teachings? The teachings tell us how to live in harmony with the Laws and principles of the Great Spirit. Living means Life – a good life, a happy life. Many of us have grown up without the teachings and the culture, that is why we don't know how to live. To improve on relationships, to treat our children with honor and to respect our Elders, we need to live by the old teachings again.

Great Spirit, today, show me how to live.

Nothing...

There is really nothing you must be and there is nothing you must do. There is really nothing you must have and there is nothing you must know. There is really nothing you must become. However, it helps to understand that fire burns, and when it rains, the earth gets wet.

God's gifts


Page 85

"We do the footwork and accept what's being given to us freely on a daily basis."
Basic Text, p. 47

Our relationship with our Higher Power is a two-way street. In prayer, we speak and God listens. When we meditate, we do our best to listen for the will of our Higher Power. We know that we are responsible for our part of the relationship. If we do not pray and listen, we shut our Higher Power out of our lives.

When we think about our relationship with our Higher Power, it's important to remember which one we are: the powerless one. We can ask for guidance; we can ask for willingness or strength; we can ask for knowledge of our Higher Power's will-but we cannot make demands. The God of our understanding-the one with the power-will fulfill that half of the relationship by giving us exactly what we need, when we need it.

We need to take action every day to keep our relationship with a Higher Power alive. One way we do this is by applying the Eleventh Step. Then we remember our own powerlessness and accept the will of a Power greater than ourselves.

Just for Today: In my relationship with my Higher Power, I am the powerless one. Remembering who I am, today I will humbly accept the gifts of the God I understand.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

. . . AND NO MORE RESERVATIONS

We have seen the truth again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.”. . . If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol. . . . To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. 

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33

These words are underlined in my book. They are true for men and women alcoholics. On many occasions I’ve turned to this page and reflected on this passage. I need never fool myself by recalling my sometimes differing drinking patterns, or by believing I am “cured.” I like to think that, if sobriety is God’s gift to me, then my sober life is my gift to God. I hope God is as happy with His gift as I am with mine. 

 From the book Daily Reflections © Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Saturday 22 March 2014

Take Your Responsibility Seriously

"We are responsible for the condition of the Earth. We are the ones who are responsible and we can change that. If we wake up, it is possible to change the energy. It is possible to change everything."

--Hunbatz Men, MAYAN

The environment we want outside will be created by the mental pictures we have inside out heads. We must have the right environmental picture as well as the right values. These values will give the mental picture its true meaning. If we respected Mother Earth, we would not throw garbage on Her, nor would we put poison in Her. We would not misuse Her in any way. Mother Earth is like She is today because of the mental pictures of previous generations as well as the mental pictures of our own generation. If we want the environment to change, each individual must change their mental picture. "As within, so without."

Great Spirit, today, let me be alert to Your guiding voice.

Chapter 1 BILL'S STORY (pg 6 & top 7)


The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. My brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. I hardly dared cross the street, lest I collapse and be run down by an early morning truck, for it was scarcely daylight. An all night place supplied me with a dozen glasses of ale. My writhing nerves were stilled at last. A morning paper told me the market had gone to hell again. Well, so had I . The market would recover, but I wouldn't. That was a hard thought. Should I kill myself? No-not now. Then a mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and-oblivion.


The mind and body are marvelous mechanisms, for mine endured this agony two more years. Sometimes I stole from my wife's slender purse when the morning terror and madness were on me. Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there was poison, cursing myself for a weakling. There were flights from city to country and back, as my wife and I sought escape. Then came the night when the physical and mental torture was so hellish I feared I would burst through my window, sash and all. Somehow I managed to drag my mattress to a lower floor, lest I suddenly leap. A doctor came with a heavy sedative. next day found me drinking both gin and sedative. This combination soon landed me on the rocks. People feared for my sanity. So did I. I could eat little or nothing when drinking, and I was forty pounds under weight.
Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret...
~ Lawrence J. Peter

Anger is The Luxury of Normal Men

When we used alcohol or other drugs, most of us were angry hotheads. We thought we were right about absolutely everything. If we were proven wrong, we may have made life hell for everyone. People knew enough to stay away from us. In recovery, things will still go badly at times. We'll get hurt. And we may even get angry. If that happens we turn our anger to our Higher Power. In our groups, we share about what makes us angry. Then we leave the anger behind when the meeting is over.Move on.  We find that being at peace is now more important than getting even. Anger is the luxury of normal men.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, when I'm angry, help me slow down, Help me remember it's okay to be angry, but its not okay to abuse people.

Action for the Day: I will remember a time when I turned anger, into rage and hurt someone. I will also remember a time I was angry in a respectful way.

The principle of self-support

Page 84

"In our addiction, we were dependent upon people, places, and things. We looked to them to support us and supply the things we found lacking in ourselves."

Basic Text, pp. 70-71

In the animal kingdom, there is a creature that thrives on others. It is called a leech. It attaches itself to people and takes what it needs. When one victim brushes the leech off, it simply goes to the next.

In our active addiction, we behaved similarly. We drained our families, our friends, and our communities. Consciously or unconsciously, we sought to get something for nothing from virtually everyone we encountered.

When we saw the basket passed at our first meeting we may have thought, "Self-support! Now what kind of odd notion is this?" As we watched, we noticed something. These self-supporting addicts were free. By paying their own way, they had earned the privilege of making their own decisions.

By applying the principle of self-support in our personal lives, we gain for ourselves the same kind of freedom. No longer does anyone have the right to tell us where to live, because we pay our own rent. We can eat, wear, or drive whatever we choose, because we provide it for ourselves.

Unlike the leech, we don't have to depend on others for our sustenance. The more responsibility we assume, the more freedom we'll gain.

Just for Today: There are no limits to the freedom I can earn by supporting myself. I will accept personal responsibility and pay my own way today.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

NO MORE STRUGGLE. . .

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone— even alcohol. 

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 

When A.A. found me, I thought I was in for a struggle, and that A.A. might provide the strength I needed to beat alcohol. Victorious in that fight, who knows what other battles I could win. I would need to be strong, though. All my previous experience with life proved that. Today I do not have to struggle or exert my will. If I take those Twelve Steps and let my Higher Power do the real work, my alcohol problem disappears all by itself. My living problems also cease to be struggles. I just have to ask whether acceptance—or change—is required. It is not my will, but His, that needs doing. 

From the book Daily Reflections © Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Friday 21 March 2014

There are no strangers here, only friends that have not yet met. ~ William Butler Yeats

Staying Happy

The man is happiest who lives from day to day and asks no more, garnering the simple goodness of life.
-: Euripides

MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING



Fear . . . of economic insecurity will leave us. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84


Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic circumstances improve, are two different things. When I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. I thought fear would leave me only when I started making money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial difficulties: “For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.” (p. 127). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.

Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I’ve found that is what others valued all along. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. I only get the use of the wealth God created, I never have “owned” it. My life’s purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess.


From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Everyone Is Precious...

“Let me simply state that it is wrong to regard any other human being, a priori, as an object, or an 'It.' This is so because each and every human being - you, every friend, every stranger, every foreigner - is precious.” 

― M. Scott Peck,  A World Waiting to Be Born: Civility Rediscovered

The Great Mystery


"There's a deep wound in people-that they have been so cut off from the source of their being, their mother, their Earth Mother." 

--Francis Story Talbott II (Medicine Story), WAMPANOAG

When we are connected to the Earth Mother, or when we are clear on our purpose, we will feel connected and safe. We will feel love. When we are disconnected from the Earth Mother, or we don't know who we are or why we are, we will feel pain. It will be similar to a little child who has lost its Mother. We will hurt inside-we will be wounded within. If this happens to the whole community, the people will be very sad and lost. It will seem like there is death in the air. When this happens, it is time for ceremony and reconnection to God and Mother Earth. This is the time of prayer.

Great Mystery, today, help me to stay connected to the Earth and to You, my Creator.

ON suffering


All those who suffer in the world do so because of their desire for their own happiness. All those happy in the world are so because of their desire for the happiness of others.
-Bodhicaryavatara

Thought for Today



"It is impossible for a man to begin to learn what he think he knows."

- Epictetus (Discourses)

A treatable illness



Page 83

"Addiction is a disease that involves more than the use of drugs."

Basic Text, p. 3

At our first meeting, we may have been taken aback at the way members shared about how the disease of addiction had affected their lives. We thought to ourselves, "Disease? I've just got a drug problem! What in the world are they talking about?"

After some time in the program, we began to see that our addiction ran deeper than our obsessive, compulsive drug use. We saw that we suffered from a chronic illness that affected many areas of our lives. We didn't know where we'd "caught" this disease, but in examining ourselves we realized that it had been present in us for many years.

Just as the disease of addiction affects every area of our lives, so does the NA program. We attend our first meeting with all the symptoms present: the spiritual void, the emotional agony, the powerlessness, the unmanageability.

Treating our illness involves much more than mere abstinence. We use the Twelve Steps, and though they don't "cure" our illness, they do begin to heal us. And as we recover, we experience the gift of life.

Just for Today: I will treat my illness with the Twelve Steps.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

MATERIAL AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING



Fear . . . of economic insecurity will leave us.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84


Having fear reduced or eliminated and having economic circumstances improve, are two different things. When I was new in A.A., I had those two ideas confused. I thought fear would leave me only when I started making money. However, another line from the Big Book jumped off the page one day when I was chewing on my financial difficulties: “For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded.” (p. 127). I suddenly understood that this promise was a guarantee. I saw that it put priorities in the correct order, that spiritual progress would diminish that terrible fear of being destitute, just as it diminished many other fears.

Today I try to use the talents God gave me to benefit others. I’ve found that is what others valued all along. I try to remember that I no longer work for myself. I only get the use of the wealth God created, I never have “owned” it. My life’s purpose is much clearer when I just work to help, not to possess.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Step 1 - “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol— that our lives had become unmanagable ...

Step 1 is the one step we must get 100% every day. Vital for the recovery of any addict. It is our first step to freedom. We admit to ourselves that something is seriously wrong in our lives. The 'We' part tells me that I cannot do this on my own. That we can do together what I can't do by myself. Step one tells me that it is a statistical fact that ever since man first crushed grapes no one so assailed has won through in single handed combat. Says it all really.


My whole life was a mess. I admitted this and upon entering A.A. I realized that I needed to get out of the debating society. Was I an alcoholic or not? My own experience told me that yes I certainly was. Every single bad event in my life was directly attributable to booze.  Of course I didn't want to be an alcoholic but the facts were staring me in the face. I quit trying to play games. It took me some time however to realize that my life had become unmanageable. Booze was in control and not me also I was a slave to my emotions. They dictated how I would behave, react and often make decisions. I was beat and I knew it. My life was no longer under my control.  I hated that. That was my powerlessness. I could no longer determine what was going to happen when I  took drink. After all I was doing things that I would later regret and telling myself that I wouldn't do them again. But I'd keep on doing them, in spite of my regrets, denials, shame, guilt, remorse, vows, cover-ups and facades. Addiction ruled my life. Not me.I had to surrender once and for all. First to booze then to life. I was beat and glad that the fight was now over. Thank God I have never re-entered the ring. I could not do this without the help of A.A. meetings, the program and the help of a sponsor. Nor could I sustain this.


The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called willpower becomes practically non-existent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

- A.A. Big Book - (Substitute drink for your own addiction. if your addiction is different to alcohol)


The principle that we will find no enduring strength until we first admit complete defeat is the main taproot from which our whole Society has sprung and flowered.

- Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p. 22


The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.
~ Joseph Campbell

Thursday 20 March 2014

Life is complex

Life is complex.
Each one of us must make his own path through life. There are no self-help manuals, no formulas, no easy answers. The right road for one is the wrong road for another...The journey of life is not paved in blacktop; it is not brightly lit, and it has no road signs. It is a rocky path through the wilderness. ”

~ Scott M. Peck

Third Step Prayer



God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!

More Chat Meetings

Recovery Chat

Check out this site for more recovery chat. Worth a visit several rooms to chat in.

Video Chats For People In recovery

Video Chats

Came across this site tonight, loads of wonderful recovering people. Very warm and welcoming check it out. Lots of help if you need it. here:

Spiritually evolved people

“Spiritually evolved people, by virtue of their discipline, mastery and love, are people of extraordinary competence, and in their competence they are called on to serve the world, and in their love they answer the call.” 

― M. Scott Peck

Foreword to Third Edition



BY March 1976, when this edition went to the printer, the total worldwide membership of Alcoholics Anonymous was conservatively estimated at more than 1,000,000, with almost 28,000 groups meeting in over 90 countries.

Surveys of groups in the United States and Canada indicate that A.A. is reaching out, not only to more and more people, but to a wider and wider range. Women now make up more than one-fourth of the membership; among newer members, the proportion is nearly one-third. Seven percent of the A.A.’s surveyed are less than 30 years of age—among them, many in their teens.

The basic principles of the A.A. program, it appears, hold good for individuals with many different lifestyles, just as the program has brought recovery to those of many different nationalities. The Twelve Steps that summarize the program may be called los Doce Pasos in one country, les Douze Etapes in another, but they trace exactly the same path to recovery that was blazed by the earliest members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

In spite of the great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.

They Aren't Really Problems

Leave the mind in its natural, undisturbed state. Don't follow thoughts of "This is a problem, that is a problem!" Without labeling difficulties as problems, leave your mind in its natural state. In this way, you will stop seeing miserable conditions as problems."

-Lama Zopa Rinpoche, "Transforming Problems Into Happiness"

Thought for Today

Expectations

My serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations.
The higher my expectations of other people,the lower is my serenity.
I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my
expectations.

But then my "rights" try to move in,
and they too can force my serenity level down.
I have to discard my "rights" as well as my expectations,
by asking myself, How important is it, really?


Thought to Ponder . . .

Heighten your perceptions
and lower your expectations.

LOVE AND TOLERANCE


Love and tolerance of others is our code. 

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

I have found that I have to forgive others in all situations to maintain any real spiritual progress. The vital importance of forgiving may not be obvious to me at first sight, but my studies tell me that every great spiritual teacher has insisted strongly upon it.

I must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter of form, but in my heart. I do this not for the other persons’ sake, but for my own sake. Resentment, anger, or a desire to see someone punished, are things that rot my soul. Such things fasten my troubles to me with chains. They tie me to other problems that have nothing to do with my original problem.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

Higher Power


Page 82

"Most of us have no trouble admitting that addiction had become a destructive force in our lives. Our best efforts resulted in ever greater destruction and despair. At some point, we realized that we needed the help of some Power greater than our addiction."

Basic Text, p. 24

Most of us know without a doubt that our lives have been filled with destruction. Learning that we have a disease called addiction helps us understand the source or cause of this destruction. We can recognize addiction as a power that has worked devastation in our lives. When we take the First Step, we admit that the destructive force of addiction is bigger than we are. We are powerless over it.

At this point, our only hope is to find some Power greater than the force of our addiction-a Power bent on preserving life, not ending it. We don't have to understand it or even name it; we only have to believe that there could be such a Higher Power. The belief that a benevolent Power greater than our addiction just might exist gives us enough hope to stay clean, a day at a time.

Just for Today: I believe in the possibility of some Power that's bigger than my addiction.

Copyright (c) 2013, NA World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

Wednesday 19 March 2014

Slow Down - Contemplate


".the spirit still has something for us to discover-an herb, a sprig, a flower-a very small flower, maybe you can spend a long time in its contemplation, thinking about it." 

--Lame Deer, LAKOTA

The world today is about hurry up! get there faster! Work harder, produce more, hurry up, eat quickly, be on time, don't get stressed- headaches, conflict, drink to calm down, go to training on stress management, time management-STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! STOP! Go spend 5 minutes with a flower or a plant. Look at it-think about it-look at its beauty, smell it, close your eyes and smell it again. Touch it; touch with your eyes closed. Listen to it; listen to it with your eyed closed. Slow your mind down. Think about the little things. Now close your eyes and pray.

Great Spirit, this feeling of calmness that I have, let me have it all day long.

Chapter 1 BILL'S STORY



I became an unwelcome hanger-on at brokerage places.

Liquor ceased to be a luxury; it became a necessity. "Bathtub" gin, two bottles a day, and often three, got to be routine. Sometimes a small deal would net a few hundred dollars, and I would pay my bills at the bars and delicatessens. This went on endlessly, and I began to waken very early in the morning shaking violently. A tumbler full of gin followed by half a dozen bottles of beer would be required if I were to eat any breakfast. Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife's hope. 

Gradually things got worse. The house was taken over by the mortgage holder, my mother-in-law died, my wife and father-in-law became ill. 

Then I got a promising business opportunity. Stocks were at the low point of 1932, and I had somehow formed a group to buy. I was to share generously in the profits. Then I went on a prodigious bender, and that chance vanished. 

I woke up. This had to be stopped. I saw I could not take so much as one drink. I was through forever. Before then, I had written lots of sweet promises, but my wife happily observed that this time I meant business. And so I did. 

Shortly afterward I came home drunk. There had been no fight. Where had been my high resolve? I simply didn't know. It hadn't even come to mind. Someone had pushed a drink my way, and I had taken it. Was I crazy? I began to wonder, for such an appalling lack of perspective seemed near being just that. 

Renewing my resolve, I tried again. Some time passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cock-sureness. I could laugh at the gin mills. Now I had what it takes! One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then. And I did.

Forgiveness

"The sacred fire used to heat the rocks represents the eternal fire that burns at the center of the universe."
--Dr. A.C. Ross (Ehanamani), LAKOTA


Our Sweat Lodge represents the womb of Mother Earth. This is the place of forgiveness. The altar is the place where the Grandfathers are heated. The Sweat Lodge and the altar represent the whole story of the universe. The Sweat Lodge and the ceremonies are sacred. The Great Spirit gave these things to us to help us. He taught us to do the ceremonies in harmony with Mother Earth. We need to know and understand these things.

Great Spirit, let me understand harmony.

The "Slipper" Needs Understanding

"Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be 'cured' of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years--then the member is seen no more. Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can't or won't let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer--well, this combination adds up to slips.
"Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips--sometimes they are utterly controlling."

From AS BILL SEES IT TALK, 1960


"When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them,
but bend them with gentleness and time." --Saint Francis de Sales

PRAYER: IT WORKS


It has been well said that “almost the only scoffers at prayer are those who never tried it enough.”


TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 97

Having grown up in an agnostic household, I felt somewhat foolish when I first tried praying. I knew there was a Higher Power working in my life—how else was I staying sober?—but I certainly wasn’t convinced he/she/it wanted to hear my prayers. People who had what I wanted said prayer was an important part of practicing the program, so I persevered. With a commitment to daily prayer, I was amazed to find myself becoming more serene and comfortable with my place in the world. In other words, life became easier and less of a struggle. I’m still not sure who, or what, listens to my prayers, but I’d never stop saying them for the simple reason that they work.

From the book Daily Reflections
© Copyright 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.