Open your eyes and the whole world is full of God.
~ Jakob Bohme
When I was a child, my family never talked about God. I never knew the light of God, never felt His love or power, or recognized His presence in my life. When things were rough, I could only see the darkness. When I was lonely, I didn’t know He was with me all the time. When I was weak or scared, I thought I had to overcome and be strong, and not be afraid. I didn’t feel His presence with me, or believe that He was watching over me. Then, for twenty years I was married to a religious man who did talk about God. I tried so hard to believe as he did, but his words soon lost their meaning. The abuse began to overshadow the hope that things would change, and the belief that God would make everything okay, if only I believed like my husband. For years I have struggled with my faith, trying to believe in a God that was willing to light my way, love me, and protect me … not just in the good times, but in the painful times.
When I first came into recovery, I was still struggling, but I became “willing to believe” that God cared about me. I started watching for signs that He was there, ready to light my path when I could see only the darkness, ready to enfold me in His arms when I felt unlovable, and ready to protect me when I was scared. I became willing to recognize His presence in my day-to-day life.
Now that I am willing, I can find God’s love everywhere … in a friendly smile, in the kind words of a friend, in the beauty of a flower, and in a child’s eyes. Sometimes, when life gets rough, I have to look a little harder, but it’s there. I only have to remain open and willing to see it and accept it. Wherever I am, God is there with me, ready to love and protect me.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will be willing to see God’s presence in my life, and know that wherever I am, God is. I will let go, and let God be there.
~ Debbie K.
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