~ SERVICE ~
The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
The only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.
–Albert Schweitzer
In my first few 12 step meetings, I was so angry. On one hand, I didn’t think I needed to be there, although deep inside, I knew I did. People were nice enough, greeted me, made me feel welcome, but I kept myself apart with my anger. I was angry that there seemed to be a small core group of members who attended weekly and obviously knew each other well. I didn’t think they’d let me in their inner group; I didn’t get invited.
Next, I tried to get the program without working the Steps. That inner group talked about the Steps all the time. I’d show them how good I was; I’d get the program, get the recovery they’d gotten, by taking a shorter route. The Steps were for dummies, and I wasn’t dumb. I quickly found out the Steps are the only way to get the 12 step program, hence its name.
I struggled for a long time. Then I started giving service to my group. It started off by simply straightening up the room because I always got there early. I asked for a key so I could put out the books. I started greeting newcomers, who usually showed up early. When the person who’d signed on to do the topic didn’t make it one week, I agreed to lead the meeting.
To my shock, I was giving service. In looking back at my first weeks in the program, I realized that the “inner core” of my home group had become my very good friends. When had I been asked in? Never. I joined when I began to give service and became one of them, the service-givers to the group. I learned why they seemed to have such effortless growth– it came from giving service. With service I always get back much more than I put in.
One Day at a Time …
I will remember to give of myself. I will remember that giving service in the program gives me so many gifts in return.
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