As Bill Sees It

The Spiritual Alibi, p. 193

Our first attempts at inventories are apt to prove very unrealistic. I used to be a champ at unrealistic self-appraisal. On certain occasions, I wanted to look only at the part of my life which seemed good. Then I would greatly exaggerate whatever virtues I supposed I had attained. Next I would congratulate myself on the grand job I was doing in A.A.

Naturally this generated a terrible hankering for still more “accomplishments,” and still more approval. I was falling straight back into the pattern of my drinking days. Here were the same old goals–power, fame, and applause. Besides, I had the best alibi known–the spiritual alibi. The fact that I really did have a spiritual objective made this utter nonsense seem perfectly right.

Grapevine, June 1961