October
“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.”
– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24.
Today, if the numbing physical and psychological impact of my last drunk has been weakened by the passage of time, let my defense be the outcome of my last drunk – likely the same consequence, if not worse, of every drunk before the last one. I have long since passed the point that a drunk tonight will be less physically and less psychologically costly than my last drunk, even if it was years ago. My sobriety today does not promise that I will be sober tomorrow, but it does promise that I have a choice today to drink or not. If the memory of the physical and emotional toll of my last drunk has been salved by the passage of time, pray I know the reality that I and I alone will be responsible for the consequences of another drunk. And lest I forget that those consequences were too heavy then, and they will probably be too heavy – or heavier – now. Today, I have the choice, and I choose not to forget my last drunk so that I retain the choice not to drink. And our common journey continues.
After the tears. – Chris M.
Today, if the numbing physical and psychological impact of my last drunk has been weakened by the passage of time, let my defense be the outcome of my last drunk – likely the same consequence, if not worse, of every drunk before the last one. I have long since passed the point that a drunk tonight will be less physically and less psychologically costly than my last drunk, even if it was years ago. My sobriety today does not promise that I will be sober tomorrow, but it does promise that I have a choice today to drink or not. If the memory of the physical and emotional toll of my last drunk has been salved by the passage of time, pray I know the reality that I and I alone will be responsible for the consequences of another drunk. And lest I forget that those consequences were too heavy then, and they will probably be too heavy – or heavier – now. Today, I have the choice, and I choose not to forget my last drunk so that I retain the choice not to drink. And our common journey continues.
After the tears. – Chris M.
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