Created to carry the message of recovery to all addicts. Whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, food or any other addiction the program of recovery is the same. I am a recovering alcoholic of over twenty-seven years, a day at a time of course and I believe my primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve recovery. Remember seven days without a meeting makes one weak. Sign up to get emails.This Blog is NOT IN ANY WAY affiliated to either A.A. or N.A. Help to stop drinking.
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Monday, 2 June 2025
12 Steps in Backwards
Everyone is always talking about the 12 Steps in A. A. Another way of thinking about it are the 12 Mis-Steps of A. A. Here they are:
1. Start missing meetings for any reason, real or imaginary.
2. Become critical of the methods used by other members who may not agree with you in everything.
3. Nurse the idea that someday, somehow, you can drink again and become a controlled drinker.
4. Let the other fellow do the 12th Step work in your group. You are too busy.
5. Become conscious of your A. A. seniority and view every new member with a skeptical, jaundiced eye.
6. Become so pleased with your own views of the program that you consider yourself an "elder statesman."
7. Start a small clique within your own group, composed only of a few members who see eye-to-eye with
you.
8. Tell the new member in confidence that you yourself do not take certain of the 12 Steps seriously.
9. Let your mind dwell more and more on how much you are helping others rather than on how much the A. A. program is helping you.
10. If an unfortunate member has a slip, drop him at once.
11. Cultivate the habit of borrowing money from other members; then stay away from meetings to avoid embarrassment.
12. Look upon the 24-hour plan as vital to new members, but not for yourself. YOU have outgrown the need of that long, long ago.
C. L.
Chicago, Illinois
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Daily Dose OF Emmet Fox - 2nd June
You must pray for yourself constantly. How could it be otherwise? We worship God by believing in Him, trusting Him, and loving Him wholeheartedly - and we can attain to that only through prayer. The sole object of our being here is that we may grow like Him - and we can do that only through prayer. The more we pray for ourselves the more power will our prayers have for any other purpose whatever; so praying for ourselves is the reverse of selfishness - it is truly glorifying God.
Emmet Fox
Emmet Fox
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Daily Reflections - 2nd June
THE UPWARD PATH
Here are the steps we took.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
These are the words that lead into the Twelve Steps. In their direct simplicity they sweep aside all psychological and philosophical considerations about the rightness of the Steps. They describe what I did: I took the Steps and sobriety was the result. These words do not imply that I should walk the well-trodden path of those who went before, but rather that there is a way for me to become sober and that it is a way I shall have to find. It is a new path, one that leads to infinite light at the top of the mountain. The Steps advise me about the footholds that are safe and about chasms to avoid. They provide me with the tools I need during the many parts of the solitary journey of my soul. When I speak of this journey, I share my experience, strength and hope with others.
Here are the steps we took.
-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59
These are the words that lead into the Twelve Steps. In their direct simplicity they sweep aside all psychological and philosophical considerations about the rightness of the Steps. They describe what I did: I took the Steps and sobriety was the result. These words do not imply that I should walk the well-trodden path of those who went before, but rather that there is a way for me to become sober and that it is a way I shall have to find. It is a new path, one that leads to infinite light at the top of the mountain. The Steps advise me about the footholds that are safe and about chasms to avoid. They provide me with the tools I need during the many parts of the solitary journey of my soul. When I speak of this journey, I share my experience, strength and hope with others.
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Just For Today - 2nd June
Sick and tired
“We wanted an easy way out.... When we did seek help, we were only looking for the absence of pain.”
Basic Text, p. 5
––––=––––
Something’s not working. In fact, something’s been wrong for a long time, causing us pain and complicating our lives. The problem is that, at any given moment, it always appears easier to continue bearing the pain of our defects than to submit to the total upheaval involved in changing the way we live. We may long to be free of pain, but only rarely are we willing to do what’s truly necessary to remove the source of pain from our lives.
Most of us didn’t begin seeking recovery from addiction until we were “sick and tired of being tired and sick.” The same is true of the lingering character defects we’ve carried through our lives. Only when we can’t bear our shortcomings one moment longer, only when we know that the pain of change can’t be as bad as the pain we’re in today, are most of us willing to try something different.
Thankfully, the steps are always there, no matter what we’re sick and tired of. The irony is that, as soon as we make the decision to begin the Twelve Step process, we realize our fears of change were groundless. The steps offer a gentle program of change, one step at a time. No single step is so frightening that we can’t work it, by itself. As we apply the steps to our lives, we experience a change that frees us.
––––=––––
Just for today: No matter what prevents me from living a full, happy life, I know the program can help me change, a step at a time. I need not be afraid of the Twelve Steps.
“We wanted an easy way out.... When we did seek help, we were only looking for the absence of pain.”
Basic Text, p. 5
––––=––––
Something’s not working. In fact, something’s been wrong for a long time, causing us pain and complicating our lives. The problem is that, at any given moment, it always appears easier to continue bearing the pain of our defects than to submit to the total upheaval involved in changing the way we live. We may long to be free of pain, but only rarely are we willing to do what’s truly necessary to remove the source of pain from our lives.
Most of us didn’t begin seeking recovery from addiction until we were “sick and tired of being tired and sick.” The same is true of the lingering character defects we’ve carried through our lives. Only when we can’t bear our shortcomings one moment longer, only when we know that the pain of change can’t be as bad as the pain we’re in today, are most of us willing to try something different.
Thankfully, the steps are always there, no matter what we’re sick and tired of. The irony is that, as soon as we make the decision to begin the Twelve Step process, we realize our fears of change were groundless. The steps offer a gentle program of change, one step at a time. No single step is so frightening that we can’t work it, by itself. As we apply the steps to our lives, we experience a change that frees us.
––––=––––
Just for today: No matter what prevents me from living a full, happy life, I know the program can help me change, a step at a time. I need not be afraid of the Twelve Steps.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day - 2nd June
A.A. Thought For The Day
Some more things I do not miss since becoming dry: wondering if the car is in the garage and how I got home; struggling to remember where I was and what I did since my last conscious moment; trying to delay getting off to work, and wondering how I will look when I get there; dreading the day ahead of me. I’m quite sure that I don’t miss these things, am I not?
Meditation For The Day
You cannot believe in God and keep your selfish ways. The old self shrivels up and dies, and upon the reborn soul God’s image becomes stamped. The gradual elimination of selfishness in the growth of love for God and your fellow human beings is the goal of life. At first, you have only a faint likeness to the Divine, but the picture grows and takes on more and more of the likeness of God until those who see you can see in you some of the power of God’s grace at work in a human life.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may develop that faint likeness I have to the Divine. I pray that others may see in me some of the power of God’s grace at work.
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As Bill Sees It - 2nd June
Without Anger, p. 153
Suppose A.A. falls under sharp public attack or heavy ridicule, having little or no justification in fact. Our best defense in these situations would be no defense whatever–namely, complete silence at the public level. If in good humor we let unreasonable critics alone, they are apt to subside more quickly. If their attacks persist and it is plain that they are misinformed, it may be wise to communicate with them privately in a temperate and informative way.
If, however, a given criticism of A.A. is partly or wholly justified, it may well be to acknowledge this privately to the critics, together with our thanks.
But under no conditions should we exhibit anger or any punitive intent.
<< << << >> >> >>
What we must recognize is that we exult in some of our defects. Self-righteousness anger can be very enjoyable. In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact that many people annoy us; it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority.
1. Twelve Concepts, p. 69
2. 12 & 12, pp. 66-67
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Walk in Dry Places - 2nd June
Why admitting we’re wrong is right
Right action
Sometimes it’s painful or almost impossible to admit that we’ve been wrong. This means we’ll probably go on making the same mistakes until we’re forced to face the truth. Why does this happen?
The problem lies with what we call the EGO in our Twelve step program discussions. We commit ourselves in defending this ego at all times, especially around people who seem to put us down. Far from being a minor correction, any admissions of wrong feels like total defeat, at least in our warped way of looking at things.
We can release ourselves from this bondage simply by coming to see that admitting and facing our wrongs is essential to growth. A store manager who overstocks a certain item “admits” the mistake by putting the goods on a clearance sale and getting rid of them. We can cut any loss in the same way by admitting a mistake and going on to a better course of action.
I’ll not plan to make any mistakes today, but I’ll hold myself in readiness to admit them if they occur. This is no threat to my ego. I am much more than my mistakes.
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Keep It Simple - 2nd June
Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Most of us want to be happy. We just don’t know how. We aren’t sure what happiness is. We’ve learned the hard way that some things we wanted didn’t make us happy. We’re learning that happiness comes when we live the way our Higher Power wants us to live. That’s when we’re honest. When we do our best work. When we are a true friend. We make happiness; we don’t find it. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re happy. We’re too busy with our work, our recovery program, our friends and family. We need to slow down and know that when we do what we need to, happiness comes.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that I’m most happy when I listen to You and do Your will. You know better than I do what makes me happy.
Action for the Day: What parts of my program am I most happy about? Today I’ll think of these and enjoy myself
-Eleanor Roosevelt
Most of us want to be happy. We just don’t know how. We aren’t sure what happiness is. We’ve learned the hard way that some things we wanted didn’t make us happy. We’re learning that happiness comes when we live the way our Higher Power wants us to live. That’s when we’re honest. When we do our best work. When we are a true friend. We make happiness; we don’t find it. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re happy. We’re too busy with our work, our recovery program, our friends and family. We need to slow down and know that when we do what we need to, happiness comes.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know that I’m most happy when I listen to You and do Your will. You know better than I do what makes me happy.
Action for the Day: What parts of my program am I most happy about? Today I’ll think of these and enjoy myself
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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation - 2nd June
TIME
“Everything one does enough of eventually generates its own interest and one then begins to believe in it. ”
–Alan Dunn
I never thought that I could stay sober. For years I tried to abstain with no success. It was not the act of stopping that was different ( I could stop three times in one week!). It was staying stopped.
Then a man said, “Try stopping for twenty-four hours. If that proves too long, try stopping until the morning or for one hour or even for one minute . . . If the cravings gets too severe, call me but don’t take that first drink!” My abstinence began in periods of twenty-four hours. Life is made up of days and we live in periods of twenty-four hours, so I live a day at a time. I was successful. I am successful. Today I have a number of years that are based on the simplicity of “don’t drink today “. I believe in it. I believe in me. And it gets better.
Lord of time, thank you for giving me the simplicity of days, hours and minutes.
“Everything one does enough of eventually generates its own interest and one then begins to believe in it. ”
–Alan Dunn
I never thought that I could stay sober. For years I tried to abstain with no success. It was not the act of stopping that was different ( I could stop three times in one week!). It was staying stopped.
Then a man said, “Try stopping for twenty-four hours. If that proves too long, try stopping until the morning or for one hour or even for one minute . . . If the cravings gets too severe, call me but don’t take that first drink!” My abstinence began in periods of twenty-four hours. Life is made up of days and we live in periods of twenty-four hours, so I live a day at a time. I was successful. I am successful. Today I have a number of years that are based on the simplicity of “don’t drink today “. I believe in it. I believe in me. And it gets better.
Lord of time, thank you for giving me the simplicity of days, hours and minutes.
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A Day at a Time - 2nd June
Reflection for the Day
In the process of learning to love myself and, in turn, to love others freely with no strings attached, I’ve begun to understand these words of St. Augustine: “Love slays what we have been, that we may be what we were not.” More and more, I feel this enormous power of such love in The Program; for me, the words, “we care,” also mean, “we love.”
Just for today, will I try to be loving in every thought and action?
Today I Pray
I pray that I may feel the enormity and the power of the love I find in The Program. May my own caring be added to that great energy of love which belongs to all of us. May I care with my whole heart that my fellow members maintain their sobriety and are learning to live with it comfortably and creatively. May I never doubt that they care the same way about me.
Today I Will Remember
Caring makes it happen.
Hazelden Foundation
In the process of learning to love myself and, in turn, to love others freely with no strings attached, I’ve begun to understand these words of St. Augustine: “Love slays what we have been, that we may be what we were not.” More and more, I feel this enormous power of such love in The Program; for me, the words, “we care,” also mean, “we love.”
Just for today, will I try to be loving in every thought and action?
Today I Pray
I pray that I may feel the enormity and the power of the love I find in The Program. May my own caring be added to that great energy of love which belongs to all of us. May I care with my whole heart that my fellow members maintain their sobriety and are learning to live with it comfortably and creatively. May I never doubt that they care the same way about me.
Today I Will Remember
Caring makes it happen.
Hazelden Foundation
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One Day At A Time - 2nd June
STEP ONE
“Well begun is half done.”
–Aristotle
The first time I took step one I knew that I was beat. Because I knew that I was beat, I knew I had to have help to survive. I sought and accepted that help in OA. I put the program into action. I completed the twelve steps and tasted recovery.
Over the years I have had to renew my step one, and each time I was convinced that I was not going to make it without the help in program. That spurred me on to complete the 12 steps many times. Step one is essentially what made me complete all twelve steps and go on to a fuller and fuller life in recovery. Without step one, there really was no need or motivation for steps two through twelve.
Recently I realized that step one is particularly necessary to do step twelve. I cannot help anyone without my Higher Power. I cannot control another’s program. I cannot carry the message on my own, nor can I practice the principles in all my affairs by myself. Step one — my powerlessness and my inability to manage — is a great blessing. It is what spurs me on to turn to my Higher Power in all tasks great and small; it is what helps me to gain more and more ground in recovery.
One day at a time …
I will admit my powerlessness and my inability to manage, then I will turn to God Who will take me through my program and my life – with His power and His ability to manage.
~ Q
“Well begun is half done.”
–Aristotle
The first time I took step one I knew that I was beat. Because I knew that I was beat, I knew I had to have help to survive. I sought and accepted that help in OA. I put the program into action. I completed the twelve steps and tasted recovery.
Over the years I have had to renew my step one, and each time I was convinced that I was not going to make it without the help in program. That spurred me on to complete the 12 steps many times. Step one is essentially what made me complete all twelve steps and go on to a fuller and fuller life in recovery. Without step one, there really was no need or motivation for steps two through twelve.
Recently I realized that step one is particularly necessary to do step twelve. I cannot help anyone without my Higher Power. I cannot control another’s program. I cannot carry the message on my own, nor can I practice the principles in all my affairs by myself. Step one — my powerlessness and my inability to manage — is a great blessing. It is what spurs me on to turn to my Higher Power in all tasks great and small; it is what helps me to gain more and more ground in recovery.
One day at a time …
I will admit my powerlessness and my inability to manage, then I will turn to God Who will take me through my program and my life – with His power and His ability to manage.
~ Q
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Elder’s Meditation - 2nd June
“The Natural Law is the final and absolute authority governing E Te No Ha, the earth we call our Mother.”
–Traditional Circle of Elders
There is no power greater than the Natural Laws. These powers were set up by the Great Spirit in such a way that the human being has no access to it, except by obeying. If we choose not to follow the Natural Laws, our live will be filled with confusion, tension, anxiety and stress. If we poison the Earth, we poison ourselves. If we poison the Water of the Earth, we poison ourselves. As we do to the Earth, we do to ourselves and our children, even the children unborn. May we think about this today and ask ourselves, “Are we holding and acting toward the Mother Earth in a good way?”
Great Spirit, teach me the Natural Laws that govern the Earth.
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Today’s Gift - 2nd June
Thoughts, rest your wings. Here is a hollow of silence, a nest of stillness, in which to hatch your dreams.
—Joan Walsh Anglund
There is silence in the nest before an egg is hatched. The mother robin must sit quietly and warm them enough to be hatched. During this time, the mother concentrates only on her eggs. She does not let herself be distracted.
There is a time of silence before anything creative is born. And there is silence in the mind before an idea is discovered. A nest is a safe place birds can always return to and be at home. We all need such a nest of silence – a place where we can be quiet and safe, where we can let ourselves be held, and rest.
Often, our best ideas come out of these quiet moments. Times of silence are good for our souls. Just like the robin eggs hatching, so will dreams and solutions grow out of our own nest of stillness.
How well will I use my quiet time today?
—Joan Walsh Anglund
There is silence in the nest before an egg is hatched. The mother robin must sit quietly and warm them enough to be hatched. During this time, the mother concentrates only on her eggs. She does not let herself be distracted.
There is a time of silence before anything creative is born. And there is silence in the mind before an idea is discovered. A nest is a safe place birds can always return to and be at home. We all need such a nest of silence – a place where we can be quiet and safe, where we can let ourselves be held, and rest.
Often, our best ideas come out of these quiet moments. Times of silence are good for our souls. Just like the robin eggs hatching, so will dreams and solutions grow out of our own nest of stillness.
How well will I use my quiet time today?
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The Eye Opener - 2nd June
We come into AA and are told that we should endeavor to establish a conscious contact with our God as we understand Him; that we should, through prayer and meditation, get on speaking terms with Him. We brushed up on our rusty salutations of “Almighty” and practiced on our Thee’s and Thou’s only to learn that there was a simpler and more direct approach.
We found that we could “tune God in” to our hearts and consciences and that no other method was needed to send and receive messages. We learned that what we said was of no great consequence anyway, as our prayers were for His will, not ours, and we also learned that we had to make no direct request for those things that were for our good, as He knew our needs before we ever realized them ourselves.
Hazelden Foundation
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Daily Tao / 153 - BLAME - 2nd June
Though others have faults,
Concentrate on your own.
Some people have the habit of blaming others. Perhaps all of us have this weakness. The list of scapegoats for our miseries is clever and endless. Parents, community, teachers, government, and even demons and gods are all invoked when we have problems. If difficulties truly come from the outside, the problem is not blame. For those cases, the course of action is very clear : Neutralize that influence. If the problem comes from within, the solution must come from within as well. Before you blame friends, relatives, or teachers for bad habits and shortsightedness, you should remember that no one is to blame but yourself.
It is an equal mistake to lose self-esteem simply because you have some flaws. Looking at your shortcomings and taking steps to eliminate them should be viewed as a dispassionate project. You are not worthless because you undertake to rise above your faults. That description is only for those who never attempt to perfect themselves. We all have a perfect core, a special self inside. That purity is perfect and holy; therefore, no one is worse than another.
We are all on this planet simply to reach back into that pure self. When we reach that spirit, there are no flaws and there is no blame.
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Daily Zen - 2nd June
Tennyson once said, "If I could understand a flower, root and all, I would have understood the whole existence."
Zen is an invitation to see into the nature of things directly, without any hindrances of conceptual thought.
In our normal state we are imprisoned in our minds, in thoughts that narrow our consciousness by judging: this is good, this is bad, this is so-so.
Zen is concerned with your inner world, with your subjectivity.
Zen is an invitation to see into the nature of things directly, without any hindrances of conceptual thought.
In our normal state we are imprisoned in our minds, in thoughts that narrow our consciousness by judging: this is good, this is bad, this is so-so.
Zen is concerned with your inner world, with your subjectivity.
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Sunday, 1 June 2025
12 STEPS IN 30 MINUTES by Bill W. - 1st June
AAs are always asking: "Where did the Twelve Steps come from?" In the last analysis, perhaps nobody knows. Yet some of the events which led to their formulation are as clear to me as though they took place yesterday.
So far as people were concerned, the main channels of inspiration for our Steps were three in number--the Oxford Groups, Dr. William D. Silkworth of Towns Hospital and the famed psychologist, William James, called by some the father of modern psychology. The story of how these streams of influence were brought together and how they led to the writing of our Twelve Steps is exciting and in spots downright incredible.
Many of us will remember the Oxford Groups as a modern evangelical movement which flourished in the 1920's and early 30's, led by a one-time Lutheran minister, Dr. Frank Buchman. The Oxford Groups of that day threw heavy emphasis on personal work, one member with another. AA's Twelfth Step had its origin in that vital practice. The moral backbone of the "O.G." was absolute honesty, absolute purity, absolute unselfishness and absolute love. They also practiced a type of confession, which they called "sharing"; the making of amends for harms done they called "restitution." They believed deeply in their "quiet time," a meditation practiced by groups and individuals alike, in which the guidance of God was sought for every detail of living, great or small.
These basic ideas were not new; they could have been found elsewhere. But the saving thing for us first alcoholics who contacted the Oxford Groupers was that they laid great stress on these particular principles. And fortunate for us was the fact that the Groupers took special pains not to interfere with one's personal religious views. Their society, like ours later on, saw the need to be strictly non-denominational.
In the late summer of 1934, my well-loved alcoholic friend and schoolmate "Ebbie" had fallen in with these good folks and had promptly sobered up. Being an alcoholic, and rather on the obstinate side, he hadn't been able to "buy" all the Oxford Group ideas and attitudes. Nevertheless, he was moved by their deep sincerity and felt mighty grateful for the fact that their ministrations had, for the time being, lifted his obsession to drink.
When he arrived in New York in the late fall of 1934, Ebbie thought at once of me. On a bleak November day he rang up. Soon he was looking at me across our kitchen table at 182 Clinton Street, Brooklyn, New York. As I remember that conversation, he constantly used phrases like these: "I found I couldn't run my own life;" "I had to get honest with myself and somebody else;" "I had to make restitution for the damage I had done;" "I had to pray to God for guidance and strength, even though I wasn't sure there was any God;" "And after I'd tried hard to do these things I found that my craving for alcohol left." Then over and over Ebbie would say something like this: "Bill, it isn't a bit like being on the water-wagon. You don't fight the desire to drink--you get released from it. I never had such a feeling before."
Such was the sum of what Ebbie had extracted from his Oxford Group friends and had transmitted to me that day. While these simple ideas were not new, they certainly hit me like tons of brick. Today we understand just why that was. . .one alcoholic was talking to another as no one else can.
Two or three weeks later, December 11th to be exact, I staggered into the Charles B. Towns Hospital, that famous drying-out emporium on Central Park West, New York City. I'd been there before, so I knew and already loved the doctor in charge--Dr. Silkworth. It was he who was soon to contribute a very great idea without which AA could never have succeeded. For years he had been proclaiming alcoholism an illness, an obsession of the mind coupled with an allergy of the body. By now I knew this meant me. I also understood what a fatal combination these twin ogres could be. Of course, I'd once hoped to be among the small percentage of victims who now and then escape their vengeance. But this outside hope was now gone. I was about to hit bottom. That verdict of science--the obsession that condemned me to drink and the allergy that condemned me to die--was about to do the trick. That's where medical science, personified by this benign little doctor, began to fit in. Held in the hands of one alcoholic talking to the next, this double-edged truth was a sledgehammer which could shatter the tough alcoholic's ego at depth and lay him wide open to the grace of God.
In my case it was of course Dr. Silkworth who swung the sledge while my friend Ebbie carried to me the spiritual principles and the grace which brought on my sudden spiritual awakening at the hospital three days later. I immediately knew that I was a free man. And with this astonishing experience came a feeling of wonderful certainty that great numbers of alcoholics might one day enjoy the priceless gift which had been bestowed upon me.
THIRD INFLUENCE
At this point a third stream of influence entered my life through the pages of William James' book, "Varieties of Religious Experience." Somebody had brought it to my hospital room. Following my sudden experience, Dr. Silkworth had taken great pains to convince me that I was not hallucinated. But William James did even more. Not only, he said, could spiritual experiences make people saner, they could transform men and women so that they could do, feel and believe what had hitherto been impossible to them. It mattered little whether these awakenings were sudden or gradual, their variety could be almost infinite. But the biggest payoff of that noted book was this: in most of the cases described, those who had been transformed were hopeless people. In some controlling area of their lives they bad met absolute defeat. Well, that was me all right. In complete defeat, with no hope or faith whatever, I had made an appeal to a higher Power. I had taken Step One of today's AA program--"admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable," I'd also taken Step Three--"made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to God as we understood him." Thus was I set free. It was just as simple, yet just is mysterious, as that.
These realizations were so exciting that I instantly joined up with the Oxford Groups. But to their consternation I insisted on devoting myself exclusively to drunks. This was disturbing to the O.G.'s on two counts. Firstly, they wanted to help save the whole world. Secondly, their luck with drunks had been poor. Just as I joined they had been working over a batch of alcoholics who had proved disappointing indeed. One of them, it was rumored, had flippantly cast his shoe through a valuable stained glass window of an Episcopal church across the alley from O.G. headquarters. Neither did they take kindly to my repeated declaration that it shouldn't; take long to sober up all the drunks in the world. They rightly declared that my conceit was still immense.
SOMETHING MISSING
After some six months of violent exertion with scores of alcoholics which I found at a nearby mission and Towns Hospital, it began to look like the Groupers were right. I hadn't sobered up anybody. In Brooklyn we always had a houseful of drinkers living with us, sometimes as many as five. My valiant wife, Lois, once arrived home from work to find three of them fairly tight. The remaining two were worse. They were whaling each other with two-by-fours. Though events like these slowed me down somewhat, the persistent conviction that a way to sobriety could be found never seemed to leave me. There was, though, one bright spot. My sponsor, Ebbie, still clung precariously to his new-found sobriety.
What was the reason for all these fiascoes? If Ebbie and I could achieve sobriety, why couldn't all the rest find it too? Some of those we'd worked on certainly wanted to get well. We speculated day and night why nothing much had happened to them. Maybe they couldn't stand the spiritual pace of the Oxford Group's four absolutes of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love. In fact some of the alcoholics declared that this was the trouble. The aggressive pressure upon them to get good overnight would make them fly high as geese for a, few weeks and then flop dismally. They complained, too, about another form of coercion--something the Oxford Groupers called "guidance for others." A "team" composed of non-alcoholic Groupers would sit down with an alcoholic and after a "quiet time" would come up with precise instructions as to how the alcoholic should run his own life. As grateful as we were to our O.G. friends, this was sometimes tough to take. It obviously had something to do with the wholesale skidding that went on.
But this wasn't the entire reason for failure. After months I saw the trouble was mainly in me. I had become very aggressive, very cocksure. I talked a lot about my sudden spiritual experience, as though it was something very special. I had been playing the double role of teacher and preacher. In my exhortations I'd forgotten all about the medical side of our malady, and that need for deflation at depth so emphasized by William James had been neglected. We weren't using that medical sledgehammer that Dr. Silkworth had so providentially given us.
Finally, one day, Dr. Silkworth took me back down to my right size. Said he, "Bill, why don't you quit talking so much about that bright light experience of yours, it sounds too crazy. Though I'm convinced that nothing but better morals will make alcoholics really well, I do think you have got the cart before the horse. The point is that alcoholics won't buy all this moral exhortation until they convince themselves that they must. If I were you I'd go after them on the medical basis first. While it has never done any good for me to tell them how fatal their malady is, it might be a very different story if you, a formerly hopeless alcoholic, gave them the bad news. Because of the identification you naturally have with alcoholics, you might be able to penetrate where I can't. Give them the medical business first, and give it to them hard. This might soften them up so they will accept the principles that will really get them well."
THEN CAME AKRON
Shortly after this history-making conversation, I found myself in Akron, Ohio, on a business venture which promptly collapsed. Alone in the town, I was scared to death of getting drunk. I was no longer a teacher or a preacher, I was an alcoholic who knew that he needed another alcoholic, as much as that one could possibly need me. Driven by that urge, I was soon face to face with Dr. Bob. It was at once evident that Dr. Bob knew more of spiritual things than I did. He also had been in touch with the Oxford Groupers at Akron, But somehow he simply couldn't get sober. Following Dr. Silkworth's advice, I used the medical sledgehammer. I told him what alcoholism was and just how fatal it could be. Apparently this did something to Dr. Bob, On June 10, 1935, he sobered up, never to drink again. When, in 1939, Dr. Bob's story first appeared in the book, Alcoholic Anonymous, he put one paragraph of it in italics. Speaking of me, he said: "Of far more importance was the fact that he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked, who knew what be was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience".
THE MISSING LINK
Dr. Silkworth had indeed supplied us the missing link without which the chain of principles now forged into our Twelve Steps could never have been complete. Then and there, the spark that was to become Alcoholics Anonymous had been struck.
During the next three years after Dr. Bob's recovery our growing groups at Akron, New York and Cleveland evolved the so-called word-of-mouth program of our pioneering time. As we commenced to form a society separate from the Oxford Group, we began to state our principles something like this:
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol
2. We got honest with ourselves
3. We got honest with another person, in confidence
4. We made amends for harms done others
5. We worked with other alcoholics without demand for prestige or money
6. We prayed to God to help us to do these things as best we could
Though these principles were advocated according to the whim or liking of each of us, and though in Akron and Cleveland they still stuck by the O.G. absolutes of honesty, purity, unselfishness and love, this was the gist of our message to incoming alcoholics up to 1939, when our present Twelve Steps were put to paper.
I well remember the evening on which the Twelve Steps were written. I was lying in bed quite dejected and suffering from one of my imaginary ulcer attacks. Four chapters of the book. Alcoholics Anonymous, had been roughed out and read in meetings at Akron and New York. We quickly found that everybody wanted to be an author. The hassles as to what should go into our new book were terrific. For example, some wanted a purely psychological book which would draw in alcoholics without scaring them. We could tell them about the "God business" afterwards. A few, led by our wonderful southern friend, Fitz M., wanted a fairly religious book infused with some of the dogma we had picked up from the churches and missions which had tried to help us. The louder these arguments, the more I felt in the middle. It appeared that I wasn't going to be the author at all. I was only going to be an umpire who would decide the contents of the book. This didn't mean, though, that there wasn't terrific enthusiasm for the undertaking. Every one of us was wildly excited at the possibility of getting our message before all those countless alcoholics who still didn't know.
Having arrived at Chapter Five, it seemed high time to state what our program really was I remember running over in my mind the word-of-mouth phrases then in current use. Jotting these down, they added up to the six named above. Then came the idea that our program ought to be more accurately and clearly stated. Distant readers would have to have a precise set of principles. Knowing the alcoholic's ability to rationalize, something airtight would have to be written. We couldn't let the reader wiggle our anywhere. Besides, a more complete statement would help in the chapters to come where we would need to show exactly how the recovery program ought to be worked.
12 STEPS IN 30 MINUTES
At length I began to write on a cheap yellow tablet. I split the word-of-mouth program up into smaller pieces, meanwhile enlarging its scope considerably. Uninspired as I felt, I was surprised that in a short time, perhaps half an hour, I had set down certain principles which, on being counted, turned out to be twelve in number. And for some unaccountable reason, I had moved the idea of God into the Second Step, right up front. Besides, I had named God very liberally throughout the other steps. In one of the steps I had even suggested that the newcomer get down on his knees
When this document was shown to our New York meeting the protests were many and loud. Our agnostic friends didn't go at all for the idea of kneeling. Others said we were talking altogether too much about God. And anyhow, why should there be twelve steps when we had done fine on six? Let's keep it simple, they said.
This sort of heated discussion went on for days and nights. But out of it all there came a ten-strike for Alcoholics Anonymous. Our agnostic contingent, speared by Hank P. and Jim B., finally convinced us that we must make it easier for people like themselves by using such terms as "a Higher Power" or "God as we understand Him!" Those expressions, as we so well know today, have proved lifesavers for many an alcoholic. They have enabled thousands of us to make a beginning where none could have been made had we left the steps just as I originally wrote them. Happily for us there were no other changes in the original draft and the number of steps still stood at twelve. Little did we then guess that our Twelve Steps would soon be widely approved by clergymen of all denominations and even by our latter-day friends, the psychiatrists.
This little fragment of history ought to convince the most skeptical that nobody invented Alcoholics Anonymous.
It just grew. . .by the grace of God.
Bill W.
Vol. 10 No. 2
Big Book - - 1st June - The Vicious Cycle - pp. 224-225
How it finally broke a Southerner’s obstinacy and destined this salesman to start A.A. at Philadelphia.
As long as things were tough and the job a challenge, I could always manage to hold on pretty well, but as soon as I learned the combination, got the puzzle under control, and the boss to pat me on the back, I was gone again. Routine jobs bored me, but I would take on the toughest one I could find and work day and night until I had it under control; then it would become tedious, and I’d lose all interest in it. I could never be bothered with the follow-through and would invariably reward myself for my efforts with that “first” drink.
Big Book - Alcoholics Anonymous - The Vicious Cycle - page. - 224-225
Big Book - Alcoholics Anonymous - The Vicious Cycle - page. - 224-225
Daily Dose Of Emmet Fox - 1st June
Daily Reflections - 1st June
When I was drinking, my attitude was totally selfish, totally self-centered; my pleasure and my comfort came first. Now that I am sober, self-seeking has started to slip away. My whole attitude toward life and other people is changing. For me, the first “A” in our name stands for attitude. My attitude is changed by the second “A” in our name, which stands for action. By working the Steps, attending meetings, and carrying the message, I can be restored to sanity. Action is the magic word! With a positive, helpful attitude and regular A.A. action, I can stay sober and help others to achieve sobriety. My attitude now is that I am willing to go to any length to stay sober!Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
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Just For Today - 1st June
Keep Coming Back
“We don’t have to be clean when we get here but, after the first meeting, we suggest that newcomers keep coming back and come back clean. We don’t have to wait for an overdose or a jail sentence to get help from Narcotics.”
“We don’t have to be clean when we get here but, after the first meeting, we suggest that newcomers keep coming back and come back clean. We don’t have to wait for an overdose or a jail sentence to get help from Narcotics.”
Basic Text, p. 10
Very few of us arrive in NA brimming with willingness. Some of us are here because we are court-ordered to attend. Some have come to save our families. Some come in an effort to salvage a career teetering on the brink of ruin. It doesn’t matter why we are here. It only matters that we are.
We have heard it said that “if we bring the body, the mind will follow.” We may come to meetings with a chip on our shoulders. We may be one of those who sits in the back of the rooms with our arms folded across our chest, glaring threateningly at anyone who approaches us. Perhaps we leave before the final prayer.
But if we keep coming back, we find that our minds begin to open up. We start to drop our guard, and begin to really listen when others share. We may even hear someone talking with whom we can relate. We begin the process of change.
After some time in NA, we find that more than our minds have arrived in our meeting rooms. More importantly, our hearts have arrived, too. After that happens, the miracles really begin.
Just for today: I will strive to listen with an open mind to what I hear shared. Very few of us arrive in NA brimming with willingness. Some of us are here because we are court-ordered to attend. Some have come to save our families. Some come in an effort to salvage a career teetering on the brink of ruin. It doesn’t matter why we are here. It only matters that we are.
We have heard it said that “if we bring the body, the mind will follow.” We may come to meetings with a chip on our shoulders. We may be one of those who sits in the back of the rooms with our arms folded across our chest, glaring threateningly at anyone who approaches us. Perhaps we leave before the final prayer.
But if we keep coming back, we find that our minds begin to open up. We start to drop our guard, and begin to really listen when others share. We may even hear someone talking with whom we can relate. We begin the process of change.
After some time in NA, we find that more than our minds have arrived in our meeting rooms. More importantly, our hearts have arrived, too. After that happens, the miracles really begin.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day - 1st June
A.A. Thought For The Day
On a dark night, the bright lights of the corner tavern look mighty inviting. Inside, there seems to be warmth and good cheer. But we don’t stop to think that if we go in there we’ll probably end up drunk, with our money spent and an awful hangover. A long mahogany bar in the tropical moonlight looks like a very gay place. But you should see the place the next morning. The chairs are piled on the tables and the place stinks of stale beer and cigarette stubs. And often we are there too, trying to cure the shakes by gulping down straight whiskey. Can I look straight through the night before and see the morning after?
Meditation For The Day
God finds, amid the crowd, a few people who follow Him, just to be near Him, just to dwell in His presence. A longing in the Eternal Heart may be satisfied by these few people. I will let God know that I seek just to dwell in His presence, to be near Him, not so much for teaching or a message, as just for Him. It may be that the longing of the human heart to be loved for itself is something caught from the Great Divine Heart.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may have a listening ear, so that God may speak to me. I pray that I may have a waiting heart, so that God may come to me.
On a dark night, the bright lights of the corner tavern look mighty inviting. Inside, there seems to be warmth and good cheer. But we don’t stop to think that if we go in there we’ll probably end up drunk, with our money spent and an awful hangover. A long mahogany bar in the tropical moonlight looks like a very gay place. But you should see the place the next morning. The chairs are piled on the tables and the place stinks of stale beer and cigarette stubs. And often we are there too, trying to cure the shakes by gulping down straight whiskey. Can I look straight through the night before and see the morning after?
Meditation For The Day
God finds, amid the crowd, a few people who follow Him, just to be near Him, just to dwell in His presence. A longing in the Eternal Heart may be satisfied by these few people. I will let God know that I seek just to dwell in His presence, to be near Him, not so much for teaching or a message, as just for Him. It may be that the longing of the human heart to be loved for itself is something caught from the Great Divine Heart.
Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may have a listening ear, so that God may speak to me. I pray that I may have a waiting heart, so that God may come to me.
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As Bill Sees It - 1st June
Miraculous Power, p. 152
Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that Power in human lives are facts as old as man himself.
************************************
“Faith may often be given through inspired teaching or a convincing personal example of its fruits. It may sometimes be had through reason. For instance, many clergymen believe that St. Thomas Aquinas actually proved God’s existence by sheer logic. But what can one do when all these channels fail? This was my own grievous dilemma.
“It was only when I came fully to believe I was powerless over alcohol, only when I appealed to God who just might exist, that I experienced a spiritual awakening. This freedom-giving experience came first, and then faith followed afterward–a gift indeed!”
1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 55
2. Letter, 1966
Deep down in every man, woman, and child is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that Power in human lives are facts as old as man himself.
************************************
“Faith may often be given through inspired teaching or a convincing personal example of its fruits. It may sometimes be had through reason. For instance, many clergymen believe that St. Thomas Aquinas actually proved God’s existence by sheer logic. But what can one do when all these channels fail? This was my own grievous dilemma.
“It was only when I came fully to believe I was powerless over alcohol, only when I appealed to God who just might exist, that I experienced a spiritual awakening. This freedom-giving experience came first, and then faith followed afterward–a gift indeed!”
1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 55
2. Letter, 1966
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Walk in Dry Places - 1st June
Selfish is always wrong
Inventory
It’s unfortunate that members sometimes refer to the Twelve step idea as a SELFISH program. If selfishness is considered a human shortcoming, why should we describe our wonderful program as selfish?
What we’re really trying to say, it seems, is that our true self-interest lies in the direction of helping others and sharing our experience and strength with them. To do this is to lose the “bondage of self” that is so destructive in the life of every compulsive person.
In this process, we’ll probably also discover that too much self-concern has made us unhappy and ill. Selfish, we’re likely to learn, is always bad.
When people say that ours is a selfish program, they really intend to convey the idea that it’s a “self-improvement” program. It’s our concern about others that leads to the higher forms of self-improvement.
Though exercising prudence and good judgment, I’ll take a healthy interest in helping others and sharing with them today. I know that my Higher Power will be with me in all my actions.
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Keep It Simple - 1st June
We’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
-Step Six
Character defects include being stubborn, feeling self-pity, and wanting to always be in control. We must be ready to give up these defects, or they will hurt us. Being ready is our part of Step Six. Our Higher Power will remove these defects. We don’t need to know how. We just need to be ready to give them up when God asks for them. We don’t need to know when. We just have to be ready.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, take away my self-pity, fears, anger, and anything else that hurts my recovery. Help me make room for peace.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll get ready to have my character defects removed. I will list them and ask myself, “What do I get from keeping them?”
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day - 1st June
“Sell a country? Why not sell the air, the great sea, as well as the Earth? Did not the Great Spirit make them all for the use of his children?”
–Tecumseh, SHAWNEE
The White Man’s way is to possess, control, and divide. It has always been difficult for Indian people to understand this. There are certain things we cannot own that must be shared. The Land is one of these things. We need to re-look at what we are doing to the Earth. We are digging in her veins and foolishly diminishing the natural resources. We are not living in balance. We do not own the Earth; the Earth owns us. Today, let us ponder the true relationship between the Earth and ourselves.
Great Spirit, today, let me see the Earth as you would have me see Her.
–Tecumseh, SHAWNEE
The White Man’s way is to possess, control, and divide. It has always been difficult for Indian people to understand this. There are certain things we cannot own that must be shared. The Land is one of these things. We need to re-look at what we are doing to the Earth. We are digging in her veins and foolishly diminishing the natural resources. We are not living in balance. We do not own the Earth; the Earth owns us. Today, let us ponder the true relationship between the Earth and ourselves.
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