One Day At A Time

ISOLATION

”Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.”
Joseph Roux

As an introvert and an agoraphobic I relate to both sides of this quote. From an introverted point of view, I need solitude to regroup, renew, and refresh. It’s part of my process in life to have quiet time alone in order to “get it together”. When I’m alone and I read my OA literature and meditate on what I’m reading and learning, I’m able to gain new insight and a renewed sense of direction in my program.

From an agoraphobic point of view, isolation kills my ability to stick to my program. When my social anxiety cycles and it becomes difficult to get to meetings or make phone calls, I hide from the world ~ and from my friends and other OA members who can help me maintain my abstinence.

Solitude and Isolation are both active decisions. Both require some forethought. If solitude is what I need to in order to regroup, I have to make time for it. I have to take a walk, read a book, putter around my house. On the flip side, if I’m having a hard time with Program and my social anxiety is becoming unmanageable, I can either isolate and spiral down, or I can choose to take action and get to a meeting, make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to meet me for coffee. I don’t have to be alone in this program.

One day at a time…
I remember that I have control over my actions. Although I need solitude to heal, I don’t have to be alone in my disease.

~ Deb B. 

A Day At A Time - May 28 2026

Reflection For The Day

We’ve all had times when we felt alienated, when it seemed we had nowhere to turn and no one to turn to. When we don’t know which way to turn, when there seems to be no one to help us, even then we’re not alone or without help, the presence of God is always with us. When we need strength or courage or comfort, God is there with us as the help we need. Even before we turn to God, His love reaches out to us; His loving Spirit in us hears our cry and answers us. Do I truly believe that I no longer need be alone?

Today I Pray

May I never be alone, even in a place by myself, if I take time to talk to my Higher Power. May He be my companion, my joy, my ever-present help in trouble. May the knowledge of His constant presence fill me with calm, so that I will not fear either the solitude of my own room or alienation in a roomful of people.

Today I Will Remember

Listen for the presence of God.

A Day At A Time May 23 2026

Reflection For The Day

When newcomers to The Program experience the first startling feeling that they’re truly among friends, they also wonder — with almost a sense of terror — if the feeling is real. Will it last? Those of us who’ve been in The Program a few years can assure any newcomer at a meeting that it is very real indeed, and that it does last. It’s not just another false start, not just a temporary burst of gladness to be followed, inevitably, by shattering disappointment. Am I convinced that I can have a genuine and enduring recovery from the loneliness of my addiction?

Today I Pray

Please, God, let me not be held back by my fear of recurring loneliness. May I know that the openness which warms me in this group will not suddenly close up and leave me out. May I be patient with my fear, which is swollen with past disappointments and losses. may I know that the fellowship of the group will, in time, convince me that loneliness is never incurable.

Today I Will Remember

Loneliness is curable.

A Day At A Time May 20 2026

Reflection For The Day

Alcoholism is called the “lonely disease”; almost without exception, alcoholics are literally tortured by loneliness. Even before the end of our drinking — before people began to shun us and we were “eighty-sixed” from bars, restaurants or people’s homes — nearly all of us felt that we didn’t quite belong. We were either shy, and dared not draw near otters, or we were noisy good fellows craving attention and approval, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. Finally, ever Bacchus betrayed us; we were struck down and left in terrified isolation. Have I begun to achieve an inner calm?

Today I Pray

May I know the tenderness of an intimate relationship with God and the calm I feel when I touch His spirit. May I translate this tenderness and calm to my relationships with others. May God deliver me from my lifelong feeling of loneliness and show me how to be a friend.

Today I Will Remember

God can teach me to be a friend.

Daily Reflections - - April 24 2026

LEARNING TO LOVE OURSELVES

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were
surrounded by people who loved us… We were trying to
find emotional security either by dominating or by being
dependent upon others . . . We still vainly tried to be
secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.

AS BILL SEES IT, p. 252

When I did my personal inventory I found that I had
unhealthy relationships with most people in my life-
my friends and family, for example. I always felt isolated
and lonely. I drank to dull emotional pain.
It was through staying sober, having a good sponsor and
working the Twelve Steps that I was able to build up my
low self-esteem. First the Twelve Steps taught me to become
my own best friend, and then, when I was able to love
myself, I could reach out and love others.

One Day At A Time - April 23 2026

Loneliness ~

Feeling our loneliness magnifies it.
Understanding our loneliness can open doors into our self-awareness,
which we long for and need.

Anthony Robbins

Before I found my Twelve Step program, I felt so lonely. I was stuck in total isolation and the feeling of loneliness felt one hundred times worse. The isolation and loneliness caused me to continually eat … and so I’d isolate more. What a vicious cycle!

When I found my recovery program, I still wanted to isolate. When going to meetings, I wanted the seat with nobody around it. I didn’t want to open my mouth to share or talk, even after the meeting. I kept coming back even though I felt alone, because I heard familiar things that really interested me. I eventually saw that most of the people in the room felt the same loneliness I did. I began to understand why I felt so lonely.

When I understood that my compulsive eating was causing me to isolate and be more lonely, a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I finally felt some hope! Then I found that there were many other doors in the past that I should open and become more aware of. These past happenings were what started and fueled this disease of compulsive eating. I wanted to know but I was also afraid to find out.

The similarities, kindness and love I found in the rooms made it easier to look at my past. Understanding that I was not the total reason for my loneliness, I began making amends. I needed to forgive others who had harmed me and those I had harmed. I felt lighter and more self aware, and confidence began to emerge.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remember that it’s okay and good to feel my feelings but they don’t have to rule my life. I don’t have to let loneliness magnify, causing me to eat uncontrollably to solve the problem. I’ve learned to turn things over to my Higher Power and to let them go. Looking back is the key to my self-awareness and my recovery.


~ Jeanette ~

DAILY REFLECTIONS - 17th November 2025

OVERCOMING LONELINESS

Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong.

~ AS BILL SEES IT, p. 90 

The agonies and the void that I often felt inside occur less and less frequently in my life today. I have learned to cope with solitude. It is only when I am alone and calm that I am able to communicate with God, for He cannot reach me when I am in turmoil. It is good to maintain contact with God at all times, but it is absolutely essential that, when everything seems to go wrong, I maintain that contact through prayer and meditation.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc    

Daily Tao / 262 – Loneliness - September 19th 2025

Loneliness need not be despair.
It could be an opportunity.


Why are people lonely? It is because they feel no contact with anyone or anything else. They need to feel that they are valued, that they are a part of something, and that their environment will respond to them. When that does not happen, they feel isolated.

One of the major strategies for combating loneliness is to have a mate and family. That is not always perfect, and the problems of a relationship and family sometimes outweigh the terror of loneliness. It is far better to be self-sufficient. Then whether one has loved ones or not, one will not suffer from loneliness.

Some people claim that self-sufficiency is a myth. A person is a social animal, they declare; people cannot successfully live outside of some community. But that is not the correct way to understand true self-sufficiency. What we are referring to is a supreme sense of connection with oneself and the cosmos around oneself. This doesn’t preclude community with others, but it does prevent the excesses and shortcomings that occur when society is one’s only source of union.

Tao surrounds us. One who is with Tao is never lonely, but is an integral part of the natural cycle. In the same way that water surrounds a fish, Tao surrounds us. If we feel lonely, then it is only because we are forgetting how we are totally immersed in Tao. That is why loneliness can be an opportunity : It reminds us that we are dwelling on our own egoistic identity rather than on the support of Tao.   

One Day At A Time - 2nd September 2025

ISOLATION

“A great hope fell, you heard no noise,
The ruin was within.
Oh, cunning wreck that, told no tale
And let no witness in!”

Emily Dickinson


When I was young, I was unable to negotiate situations that were too big for me to understand. I went within and hid. I lost hope and was filled with despair. I soothed myself with food that was always there for me. In time, I felt so isolated that I felt completely separate from the human race.

As I recover, it is important for me to use the tools of the program which reconnect me with other people. This connection tells me that I am okay. I always have a choice to isolate or connect. Today I choose to connect.

One Day at a Time . . .

I ask my Higher Power for the ability and courage to reach out and connect to others by using the tools of the program.

~ Melissa S.   

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AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrecovery

~ Page 90 ~

To Watch Loneliness Vanish

Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were noisy good fellows constantly craving attention and companionship, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand.

That’s one reason we loved alcohol too well. But even Bacchus betrayed us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified isolation.

<< << << >> >> >>

Life takes on new meaning in A.A. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends—this is an experience not to be missed.

~ 1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 57 ~
~ 2. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 89 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc 

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ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

ISOLATION

Isolation is the sum total of wretchedness to a man.

~ Thomas Carlyle ~

This past summer I was forced to play catch-up at work in order to compensate for time lost while recovering from a serious ankle injury. As a result of my increased responsibilities, I stopped touching base with my friends and family ─ Program family included ─ except via the occasional email or phone call.

Fortunately, my friends and my sponsor are not the shrinking violet types. They took me to task about my whereabouts and well being. Because COE is a disease of isolation, it’s extremely important to make sure we’re making contact with others. We do this by using the tools of the Program: sharing with our support group, meetings, and sponsor.

When we don’t allow ourselves to have regular, daily social outflow and personal accountability – even with a good excuse – we are more likely to relapse.

One day at a time

I will make a determined effort to connect and share with others.

~ Rob R. ~

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A DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

Reflection for the Day

I can banish fear by realizing the truth. Am I afraid to be alone? This fear can be banished by the realization that I am never alone, that God is always with me wherever I am and whatever I do. Am I afraid that I won’t have enough money to meet my needs? This fear can be banished by the realization that God is my inexhaustible, unfailing resource, now and always. Today I have the power to change fear into faith. Can I say with confidence, “I will trust, and will not be afraid…”?

Today I Pray

That I may fear no evil, for God is with me. That I may learn to turn to my Higher Power when I am afraid. I pray diligently that my faith in God and trust in what He has in store for me is strong enough to banish the fears that undermine my courage.

Today I Will Remember

Turn fear into faith.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

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AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrecovery

~ Page 53 ~

“Loners” — but Not Alone

What can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability?

Yes—whenever they try hard to seek out these satisfactions. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, the co-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others— women and men— they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. They can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return.

~ TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 120 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc 

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EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrec #Growth #Need #People

NEEDING PEOPLE

I was never less alone than when by myself.

~ Edward Gibbon 

In order to continue to grow spiritually, we will, happily, always be among the lucky people who need people. For the rest of our lives, we will give to friends and receive from them. We will make progress together. But each must welcome the reality that he or she needs, at times, to be alone with only personal thoughts.

Such times fill the necessity for a prayer and meditation. We will never be at a loss for inspiration for contemplation. New friends said, “Welcome to our world.” We can well meditate on that wonderful world of gratitude, love, honesty, open-mindedness, willingness and other elements of spiritual progress.

I must be like a ship’s captain who constantly consults instruments to make sure I am properly on course. My “instruments” are other people. What they teach me is what feeds my meditations when I am alone. That way I am never alone.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden.

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Daily Tao / 262 – Loneliness #essentialsofrecovery

Loneliness need not be despair.
It could be an opportunity.


Why are people lonely? It is because they feel no contact with anyone or anything else. They need to feel that they are valued, that they are a part of something, and that their environment will respond to them. When that does not happen, they feel isolated.

One of the major strategies for combating loneliness is to have a mate and family. That is not always perfect, and the problems of a relationship and family sometimes outweigh the terror of loneliness. It is far better to be self-sufficient. Then whether one has loved ones or not, one will not suffer from loneliness.

Some people claim that self-sufficiency is a myth. A person is a social animal, they declare; people cannot successfully live outside of some community. But that is not the correct way to understand true self-sufficiency. What we are referring to is a supreme sense of connection with oneself and the cosmos around oneself. This doesn’t preclude community with others, but it does prevent the excesses and shortcomings that occur when society is one’s only source of union.

Tao surrounds us. One who is with Tao is never lonely, but is an integral part of the natural cycle. In the same way that water surrounds a fish, Tao surrounds us. If we feel lonely, then it is only because we are forgetting how we are totally immersed in Tao. That is why loneliness can be an opportunity : It reminds us that we are dwelling on our own egoistic identity rather than on the support of Tao.   

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

ISOLATION

“A great hope fell, you heard no noise,
The ruin was within.
Oh, cunning wreck that, told no tale
And let no witness in!”

Emily Dickinson


When I was young, I was unable to negotiate situations that were too big for me to understand. I went within and hid. I lost hope and was filled with despair. I soothed myself with food that was always there for me. In time, I felt so isolated that I felt completely separate from the human race.

As I recover, it is important for me to use the tools of the program which reconnect me with other people. This connection tells me that I am okay. I always have a choice to isolate or connect. Today I choose to connect.

One Day at a Time . . .

I ask my Higher Power for the ability and courage to reach out and connect to others by using the tools of the program.

~ Melissa S.     

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec

LONELINESS

“This great misfortune — to be incapable of solitude.”
–Jean de la Bruyere

Today I am able to live with my loneliness. I know the difference between being “alone” and being “lonely” — and even in sobriety I experience loneliness. But today I can live with it.

When I was drinking, I had an overwhelming feeling of being lost and isolated; today it is tolerable. I can live with it. It is part of being “imperfect”. I am not God.

The reality of spirituality demands that I do not escape into a fantasy that denies my feelings of loneliness. It is part of my journey towards God. I will never appreciate perfect happiness until I rest in God. This I accept. In sobriety I have many days of happiness and moments of joy — but I am, at times, lonely — with feelings of being lost. Today I can accept this — and talk about it.

I accept that part of me will be forever lost until I rest in God. 

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The Eye Opener #essentialsofrec #Loneliness

We alcoholics feared loneliness as much as anything else on earth. Even the companionship of the bull pen was preferable to being alone. The quality of our company made no difference, for it was preferable to our own thoughts; certainly, it was not as critical. We just couldn’t stand our own company.

In AA, we were told to establish conscious contact with the Man Upstairs and we marveled at the ease with which this was accomplished after a little effort on our part. Now we are never less alone than when we are alone.

Hazelden Foundation

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec

BEFORE AND AFTER

“The Light of God surrounds me.
The Love of God enfolds me.
The Power of God protects me.
The Presence of God watches over me.
Wherever I am, God is … and all is well.”

–James Dillet Freeman

Before I found the Twelve Steps, I was walking in darkness.
Now God’s Light is all around me.

Before I found the Twelve Steps, I was lonely and felt no one cared.
Now I’m enveloped in God’s love.

Before I found the Twelve Steps, my life was out of control.
Now God is the Higher Power in my life.

Before I found the Twelve Steps, I was lost in my disease of compulsion.
Now God looks out for me.

Before I found the Twelve Steps, I was isolated and alone.
Now anywhere I go, I know I don’t go there by myself …
for God is with me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember that wherever I am, God is …  And all is well.

~ Jeff 

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day #essentialsofrec #personality #problems

A.A. Thought For The Day

All alcoholics have personality problems. They drink to
escape from life, to counteract feelings of loneliness or
inferiority, or because of some emotional conflict within
them, so that they cannot adjust themselves to life.
Alcoholics cannot stop drinking unless they find a way to
solve their personality problems. That’s why going on the
wagon doesn’t solve anything. That’s why taking the pledge
usually doesn’t work. Was my personality problem ever
solved by going on the wagon or taking the pledge?

Meditation For The Day

God irradiates your life with the warmth of His spirit.
You must open up like a flower to this divine irradiation.
Loosen your hold on earth, its cares, and its worries.
Unclasp your hold on material things, relax your grip, and
the tide of peace and serenity will flow in. Relinquish
every material thing and receive it back again from God.
Do not hold on to earth’s treasures so firmly that your
hands are too occupied to clasp God’s hands as He holds
them out to you in love.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be open to receive God’s blessing.
I pray that I may be willing to relinquish my hold on
material things and receive them back from God.

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