Monday, 27 January 2020

Let's Be Friendly With Our friends


Jim P. - Big Book Recovery Workshop 13



Daily Reflections #essentialsofrecovery

SERVING MY BROTHER

The member talks to the newcomer not in a spirit of power but in a spirit of humility and weakness.

—ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS COMES OF AGE p. 279

As the days pass in A.A., I ask God to guide my thoughts and the words that I speak. In this labor of continuous participation in the Fellowship, I have numerous opportunities to speak. So I frequently ask God to help me watch over my thoughts and my words, that they may be the true and proper reflections of our program; to focus my aspirations once again to seek His guidance; to help me be truly kind and loving, helpful and healing, yet always filled with humility, and free from any trace of arrogance.

Today I may very well have to deal with disagreeable attitudes or utterances—the typical stock-in-trade attitude of the still-suffering alcoholic. If this should happen, I will take a moment to center myself in God, so that I will be able to respond from a perspective of composure, strength and sensibility.
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Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Learning how to live again

” We learn new ways to live. We are no longer limited to our old ideas.” Basic Text p. 54

We may or may not have been taught right from wrong and other basics of life as children. No matter, by the time we found recovery, most of us had only the vaguest idea of how to live. Our isolation from the rest of society had caused us to ignore basic human responsibilities and develop bizarre survival skills to cope with the world we lived in.

Some of us didn’t know how to tell the truth; others were so frank we wounded everyone we talked to. Some of us couldn’t cope with the simplest of personal problems, while others attempted solving the problems of the whole world. Some of us never got angry, even when receiving unfair treatment; others busily lodged complaints against everyone and everything.

Whatever our problems, no matter how extreme, we all have a chance in Narcotics Anonymous to learn how to live anew. Perhaps we need to learn kindness and how to care about others. Perhaps we need to accept personal responsibilities. Or maybe we need to overcome fear and take some risks. We can be certain of one thing: Each day, simply by living life, we’ll learn something new.

Just for today: I know more about how to live than I did yesterday, but not as much as I’ll know tomorrow. Today, I’ll learn something new.
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Twenty-Four Hours A Day #essentialsofrecovery

A.A. Thought For The Day

An alcoholic carries an awful load around with them. What a load lying puts on your shoulders! Drinking makes liars out of all of us alcoholics. In order to get all the liquor we want, we have to lie all the time. We have to lie about where we’ve been and what we’ve been doing. When you are lying you are only half alive, because of the fear of being found out. When you come into A.A., and get honest with yourself and with other people, that terrible load of lying falls off your shoulders. Have I got rid of that load of lying?

Meditation For The Day

I believe that in the spiritual world, as in the material world, there is no empty space. As fears and worries and resentments depart out of my life, the things of the spirit come in to take their places. Calm comes after a storm. As soon as I am rid of fears and hates and selfishness, God’s love and peace and calm can come in.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may rid myself of all fears and resentments, so that peace and serenity may take their place. I pray that I may sweep my life clean of evil, so that good may come in.
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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrecovery

Daily Reprieve, p. 27

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

**********************************************

We of A.A. obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.’s disciplinarians; we need no others.

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 85

2. 12 & 12, p. 174  
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Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrecovery

Live and let live
Tolerance


For countless reasons, people with drinking problems blunder into conflicts with others. It’s not unusual to hear that a person has not spoken to a relative for y ears as a result of some foolish misunderstanding. Some of us, sad to say, cling to old grievances even after we come into AA.

The key to peace in our lives is the slogan “Live and Let Live.” If we reflect on this slogan a bit, we want to live freely, and we ought to let others choose their lifestyles without interference from us. After all, if there was anything we alcoholics resented, it was the busybody who tried to shape our lives for us.

Nobody has the competence or understanding to tell us how we should live, nor should we try to control other people. We have a big job to do in overcoming our own problems. We have neither the time nor the wisdom to run other people’s lives.

“Live and Let Live,” if followed by every person and nation, would bring universal peace. We can use the slogan wisely to end conflicts in our lives and to terminate new ones before they develop into serious problems.

I’ll remember today that nobody appointed me guardian of my neighbors’ manners and morals. I have a full-time job keeping myself straight.
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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrecovery

They is no they, only us .

–Bumper sticker

For most of us, addiction was full of doubt. We stopped believing in ourselves. Our thoughts had turned to “stinking thinking.” We didn’t believe in much of anything. We didn’t take risk. We always looked for the easier, softer way. In recovery, we start to believe again. We believe in the program. We believe in a Higher Power. We believe in people. And, over time, we believe in ourselves again. We become better at taking risk. We are able to stay sober because we believe, because we take risk. As we stay sober, we can face almost anything—with the help of others.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I have learned to believe in You. Help me believe in myself. I have something to give to this world. Help me give it freely.
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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrecovery

SEX

Sexual pleasure, wisely used and not abused, may prove the stimulus and liberator of our finest and most exalted activities.”

— Havelock Ellis

Sex is most beautiful because it enables the human being to experience and give love at an intimate and personal level. It also combines all the spiritual senses of body, mind and feeling in one expression, balancing tenderness with strength, patience with desire, need with selflessness.

Also the awareness and experience of a beautiful sexuality should be taken into all other manifestations of life — work, leisure, friendship, sports and prayer.

The gift of sex is one of our finest and most creative attributes and leads to all that is noble in man, therefore, it should not be used irresponsibly. Today I understand that I have a responsibility to the gifts that God has shared with me.

May I find in my sexuality an awareness of You.
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A Day At A Time


Reflection For The Day

I can attain real dignity, importance and individuality only by a dependence on a Power which is great and good, beyond anything I can imagine or understand. I will try my utmost to use this Power in making all my decisions. Even though my human mind cannot forecast what the outcome will be, I will try to be confident that whatever comes will be for my ultimate good. Just For Today, will I try to live this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once?

Today I Pray

May I make no decision, engineer no change in the course of my life stream, without calling upon my Higher Power May I have faith that God’s plan for me is better than any scheme I could devise for myself.

Today I Will Remember


God is the architect. I am the builder.
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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

~ DECISIONS ~

We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing …but even that is a decision.

–Gary Collins, PhD.

Clinical psychologist and well-known author in the field of counseling

I can’t recall if I ever learned that I had choices. I think it’s something a person learns as they grow up, but in my home, it was pretty much Mom’s way or the highway, and she had us all so scared of the highway that even THAT wasn’t much of a choice!

Imagine my utter shock when I came into the Twelve Step rooms and heard I had choices! I was a married woman by that time, one who had gone along with what everyone else said about anything and everything, and the only choice I seemed to make was how much I’d binge that day, if I’d purge, or if I’d be anorexic. Even that choice wasn’t in my hands, but in the hands of my disease.

In these recovery rooms I slowly learned about making choices and the responsibility that went with them. It’s been a freedom. It’s also allowed me to feel like an adult. As a young child I was put in the position of doing things only adults should be doing. So on one hand, I knew I had done things way before “my time.” Yet I still felt immature and naive. Learning to make my own choices and decisions has helped me to feel more mature and confident.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will not fear making difficult decisions. I will remember I can use the principles of the program to help me make the proper choice.

~ Rhonda ~ 
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Elder’s Meditation of the Day #essentialsofrecovery

“The journey to the Spirit World is a long one, my friend. But when you die, that doesn’t mean that this is the end.”

–—Buddy Red Bow, LAKOTA

The Elders tell us of the other dimension, the Spirit World. Our spirit in our bodies does not die, it only looks that way to our eyes and our brains. Some of our ceremonies allow us to see into the Spirit World. Death is only part of a process of life. It shows the transition into the Spirit World. The Elders tell us this is a joyful life journey.

My Creator, help me to understand both the seen world and the unseen world. Let me not be afraid of the world You live in.
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Today’s Gift #essentialsofrecovery

When men are rightfully occupied, then their amusement grows out of their work as the color petals out of a fruitful garden.

—John Ruskin

What do we need most in order to be happy? Certainly we all need to be loved. Yet we need even more than that. The spirit also wishes to be needed. When we are needed, no matter what age we are, we serve a purpose for others. When we are needed, we will be loved, as well as respected, imitated, and rewarded with gratitude. Our needs are not great empty pits to be filled any way we can. They are the couplings by which we connect to those we love. Our needs also tell us what others want, and how to enrich their lives–which also enriches ours. How do we become needed? We have only to look at our own needs and give what we need to others–love, respect, kindness, and generosity. When we realize we are needed, we realize we also need others.

What do I need that I can give to another person today?
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The Eye Opener #essentialsofrecovery

We alcoholics are the world’s greatest squanderers. During our drinking days we squandered our money, our health, our time, our intellect, our reputations, in fact everything – not for a purpose, but to make ourselves oblivious to the fact that we were doing so.

We who have accepted the AA way of living must never give up our old habit, but we should learn to spend ourselves for a constructive purpose.

That purpose is to help the other alcoholic. We are the best qualified people in the world for the job. Years of conditioning and thousands of dollars went into the process of making us experts. We have no other means of atoning for the past, no other way of showing our appreciation for the Grace of God which saved us, but to squander ourselves for this world-needed purpose.

Copyright Hazelden Foundation 
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Daily Tao / 027 - FEASTING



Feasting is the flame in mid-winter
That kindles the fire of friendship
And strengthens the community.


In the past, feasting was a way to bind the community closer together. The same is true today. Whether they are cultural gatherings, times of group worship, or even special dinners with friends, we all need moments where we come together and reaffirm the importance of our group.

The cheer that we feel is essential both to the collective and the individuals involved. The affirmation of the group should not be a sublimation of the individual but rather a framework for involvement. A good gathering requires participation — the efforts of organization, work, and attendance — and in turn gives back sustenance for body and soul, a sense of belonging, and the accomplishment of something that could not be done by the individuals alone.
Like any other human endeavor, the feast is vulnerable to manipulation and politics, the selfish maneuvering of cynical individuals. This is difficult to avoid completely, for it is impossible for any group to truly be united. The only way to mitigate this is for the collective to keep its intentions strictly on its purpose, to select its leaders wisely, and for those leaders to be as enlightened as possible.
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Daily Zen #essentialsofrecovery


To study the buddha way is to study the self. To study the self is to forget the self. To forget the self is to be actualized by myriad things. When actualized by myriad things, your body and mind as well as the bodies and minds of others drop away. No trace of realization remains, and this no-trace continues endlessly.


-Dogen, "Actualizing the Fundamental Point"
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