When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
— Ernest Hemingway
It’s hard to listen in a complete way. Often we listen, but we’re still thinking about ourselves. We wonder, “How do their words relate to me? Do I have anything to add?” Often, fear is behind these questions. We fear saying the wrong thing. We fear looking stupid. Good listeners know how to let go of their fears. To listen completely, we step outside ourselves, and we’re totally there for someone else. Sometimes we listen for only a few moments. Sometimes we don’t even agree with the people we’re listening to. But we let them know that they count. What a gift we give when we listen in a complete way!
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, teach me to listen in a complete way. Teach me to step outside myself and be their for others.Action for the Day: Today, I’ll listen to what the person says.
“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
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Reflection For The Day
“It is the privilege of wisdom to listen,” Oliver Wendell Holmes once wrote. If I try as hard as I can to cultivate the art of listening — uncritically and without making premature judgments — chances are great that I’ll progress more rapidly in my recovery. If I try as hard as I can to listen to the feelings and thoughts expressed — rather than to the “speaker” — I may be blessed with an unexpectedly helpful idea. The essential quality of good listening is humility, which reflects the fact that God’s voice speaks to us even through the least of most inarticulate of His children. Does a holier-than-thou attitude sometimes close my mind to the shared suggestions of others?
Today I Pray
May my Higher Power keep me from being “holier-than-thou” with anyone whose manner or language or opposite point of view or apparent lack of knowledge turns me off to what they are saying. May I be listening always for the voice of God, which can be heard through the speech of any one of us.
Today I Will Remember
Hear the speech, not the speaker.
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We will never hear anyone else’s thoughts if we are only listening to our own.~ Cathy Stone It’s not a defect to think. On the contrary, we need to examine all the issues in our lives, evaluating very carefully what action to take in each instance. Many of us are still clearing up the mayhem that occurred because we didn't give enough thought to situations in the past. But there is nothing gained by constant self-analysis, particularly during those moments when God has sent a friend to share with us her story or perspective.It’s never an accident when another person discusses with us an experience she has had. God intends for us to learn from one another. We are students and teachers, interchangeably. When a teacher comes our way, let’s put our minds to rest. Her words may supply the answer we seek.I will be drawn to the people who have something to teach me today. I will listen first and think later.
© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation
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“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
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“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
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“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery
“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery
“Always listen to what the Elders say.”
–Dona Josefa Medrano, HUICHOL, SIERRA MADRE, MEXICO
In school we have been taught to go to the encyclopedia when we need information about certain subjects. From the time we are little, we have a natural tendency to seek out role models. When we need information about living we tend to seek out books about living. These maybe self help books. The world is full of information. For the Native people, we have our Elders. All races have Elders. Our lives will run much smoother when we listen to the Elders. They don’t always tell us what we want to hear but they always tell us what we need to hear. The Elders have the ability to make the truth sweet.
Creator, thank You for the Elders. Help me this day to listen to them.
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LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY
When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100
When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I’ve given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that’s inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps its own benefits. The best I can do—and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice—is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for others.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc
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It’s not enough to talk to plants, you also have to listen.
—David Bergman
Sometimes, we find ourselves doing all the talking. When this happens, we need to stop, think, and listen.
When we do all the talking, we’re trying to control what happens. But when we listen, we get better results. No one has to be in control. What a relief!
And we’re learning to listen better every day. It’s great—the care, love, and help we find—just by listening.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me learn the “give-and-take” of talking and listening.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll focus on listening, not only to other people but to my Higher Power’s voice.
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Reflection for the Day
One of the most constructive things I can do is to learn to listen to myself and get in touch with my true feelings. For years, I tuned myself out, going along, instead, with what others felt and said. Even today, it sometimes seems that they have it all together, while I’m still stumbling about. Thankfully, I’m beginning to understand that people-pleasing takes many forms. Slowly but steadily, I’ve also begun to realize that it’s possible for me to change my old patterns. Will I encourage myself to tune in to the real me? Will I listen carefully to my own inner voice with the expectation that I II hear some wonderful things?
Today I Pray
I pray that I may respect myself enough to listen to my real feelings, those emotions which for so long I refused to hear or name or own, which festered in me like a poison. May I know that I need to stop often, look at my feelings, listen to the inner me.
Today I Will Remember
I will own my feelings.
© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation
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LISTEN, SHARE AND PRAY
When working with a man and his family, you should take care not to participate in their quarrels. You may spoil your chance of being helpful if you do.
~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 100 ~
When trying to help a fellow alcoholic, I’ve given in to an impulse to give advice, and perhaps that’s inevitable. But allowing others the right to be wrong reaps its own benefits. The best I can do—and it sounds easier than it is to put into practice—is to listen, share personal experience, and pray for others.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc
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Let me listen to me and not to them. —Gertrude SteinOften we try to please everyone around us. But this may not make us happy, and so we get angry.We feel taken advantage of.We may be kind to others, but first we must love ourselves. How? By learning to listen to ourselves. To our dreams. To our higher power. By doing this we’ll be more happy. And those around us will probably be more happy too.As our AA medallions say, “To Thine Own Self Be True.”Prayer for the Day: I pray that I’ll listen to that gentle, loving voice inside me. Higher Power, help me make me make my “conscious contact” with You better.Action for the Day: I will write down why I need to be true to myself.
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Willingness to listen
Willingness
Why is it that we’ll accept information from some people but not from others? Many people tried to advise us while we were drinking; why would we listen only to recovering alcoholics?
We can’t answer that question, except to say that most human beings are willing to listen only to certain people at certain times. That’s why business organizations have to select sales people carefully; customers will respond to some people, but not to others.
As we grow in sobriety, however, we develop the willingness to listen to people we would have once avoided. We can find wonderful ideas in all sorts of places and from all types of people. As we become more open-minded and willing, we can listen more and learn more.
My prejudices and fears of the past kept me from listening to people who would have helped me. I’ll be more open-minded and willing today.
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Constructive Workouts, p. 215
There are those in A.A. whom we call “destructive” critics. They power-drive, they are “politickers,” they make accusations to gain their ends–all for the good of A.A., of course! But we have learned that these folks need not be really destructive.
We ought to listen carefully to what they say. Sometimes they are telling the whole truth; at other times, a little truth. If we are within their range, the whole truth, the half-truth, or no truth at all can prove equally unpleasant to us. If they have got the whole truth, or even a little truth, then we had better thank them and get on with our respective inventories, admitting we were wrong. If they are talking nonsense, we can ignore it, or else try to persuade them. Failing this, we can be sorry they are too sick to listen, and we can try to forget the whole business.
There are few better means of self-survey and of developing patience than the workouts these usually well-meaning but erratic members so often afford us.
Twelve Concepts, p. 40
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PREJUDICE
“A great many people think they are thinking when they are only rearranging their prejudices.”
–William James
An aspect of prejudice in my life is my refusal to listen. I tend to stay
with my own thinking and I “shut off” people or ideas I do not want to
hear. The problem with this attitude is that it does not lead to
discussion, growth or change.
Spirituality is having the capacity to hear what others are saying, even
people you may not like or respect, and also being prepared to live
with and alongside confusion and “difference”. Truth is a many-sided
diamond, and it cannot be comprehended from one viewpoint. I need to
remove my prejudices if I am ever to move towards an understanding
of God’s truth.
I need to learn in my heart that there is that “image” of God in every
person I meet.
Teach me to listen so that I may hear, so that I may grow.
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It’s not enough to talk to plants, you also have to listen.
—David BergmanSometimes, we find ourselves doing all the talking. When this happens, we need to stop, think, and listen.When we do all the talking, we’re trying to control what happens. But when we listen, we get better results. No one has to be in control. What a relief!And we’re learning to listen better every day. It’s great—the care, love, and help we find—just by listening.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me learn the “give-and-take” of talking and listening.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll focus on listening, not only to other people but to my Higher Power’s voice.
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