Emmet Fox - Sparks of Truth 26

Personal criticism is one of the dead weights that hold us in limitation. The sole reason why some people do not get their healing, or find their True Place in life, is that they constantly indulge in personal criticism – mental, if not spoken.” Emmet Fox (Sparks of Truth)

THE EYE OPENER - April 9 2026

Many Groups and Clubs permit a little “friendly game” in the clubrooms. Far be it from us to criticize anyone for anything, as we like a little game occasionally ourselves, but we have all known of cases where the games got out of control. We have well deserved reputations for intemperance.

Card games can be the breeding place for a grand emotional upset and, incidentally, it does not help a fellow’s chance of sobriety to send him home broke to the wife and kids.

Published by Hazelden 

THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrecovery

Criticism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first—who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonistic? Is it prompted by jealousy or ignorance? Would you do the same thing again if you had it to do over? What does your conscience say about it?

No great man escaped having enemies; all the old masters had critics; all political and social reforms had their adversaries and the early disciples of all new religions were persecuted, stoned and crucified.

If you are criticized you may possibly be right, but if you are ignored you know you are wrong.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day #essentialsofrec #Gossip #Criticism

A.A. Thought For The Day

Gossip about or criticism of personalities has no place in an A.A. clubroom. Every man in A.A. is a brother and every woman is a sister, as long as he or she is a member of A.A. We ought not to gossip about the relationships of any man or woman in the group. And if we say about another member, “I think she or he is taking a few drinks on the side,” it’s the worst thing we could do to that person. If a woman or a man is not living up to A.A. principles or has a slip, it’s up to her or him to stand up in a meeting and say so. If they don’t do that, they are only hurting themselves. Do I talk about other members behind their backs?

Meditation for the Day

To God, a miracle of change in a person’s life is only a natural happening. But it is a natural happening operated by spiritual forces.  There is no miracle in personalities too marvelous to be an everyday happening. But miracles happen only to those who are fully guided and strengthened by God. Marvelous changes in people’s nature happen so simply, and yet they are free from all other agencies than the grace of God. But these miracles have been prepared for by days and months of longing for something better. They are always accompanied by a real desire to conquer self and to surrender one’s life to God.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may expect miracles in the lives of people. I pray that I may be used to help people change. 

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A.A. Thought For The Day

Two things can spoil group unity–gossip and criticism. To avoid these divisive things, we must realize that we’re all in the same boat. We’re like a group of people in a life-boat after the steamer has sunk. If we’re going to be saved, we’ve got to pull together. It’s a matter of life or death for us. Gossip and criticism are sure ways of disrupting any A.A. group. We’re all in A.A. to keep sober ourselves and to help each other to keep sober. And neither gossip nor criticism helps anyone to stay sober. Am I guilty of gossip or criticism?

Meditation For The Day

We should try to be grateful for all the blessings we have received and which we do not deserve. Gratitude to God for all His blessings will make us humble. Remember that we could do little by ourselves, and now we must rely largely on God’s grace in helping ourselves and others. People do not care much for those who are smug and self-satisfied or those who gossip and criticize. But people are impressed by true humility. So we should try to walk humbly at all times. Gratitude to God and true humility are what make us effective.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may walk humbly with God. I pray that I may rely on His grace to carry me through. 

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A WOMAN’S SPIRIT #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Worry

Time brings summer to a close as well as winter to an end. Time ages the brilliant petals of flowers as well as prepares new buds. . . . we can trust that time will bring the good to us as well as take away the bad.

~ Amy E. Dean ~

We can stop worrying. We can stop criticizing other people. But we can’t stop the passage of time. Let’s be grateful for that. Had it been possible to stop time, we might still be in unhealthy relationships, perhaps living on the edge of danger or in a blackout.

The passing of time not only moves us beyond the bad, but also advances us beyond the good. We hate to let it go. However, we need to move on and be open to new opportunities. Life is ebb and flow. We’ll have periods when problems seem rampant. At those times it helps to remember that this too shall pass. All will pass when the lesson has been gleaned. Let’s relish whatever this moment gives us and know that its time will soon be gone.

Time is my friend today. Each minute brings to me an experience I am ready for.

© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation

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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec #Criticism #Anger #Recovery

Facing Criticism, p. 56

Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find
fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that we
cannot benefit by constructive criticism.

This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can improve.

<< << << >> >> >>

It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of
A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly
nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is
an exciting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone
to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we
are now sober, the old patterns of behavior are to a degree still with
us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse.

But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the
conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the grace to exert
restraint.

1. Grapevine, July 1965
2. Twelve Concepts, p. 68

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrec #Criticism #Recovery #Resentment

Criticism is often the sincerest form of flattery. We are all subject to it at times if we do anything at all. When criticism does arise, and before you build up a first rate resentment, think first—who is it that criticizes? What is the motive behind it? Is it constructive or just plain antagonistic? Is it prompted by jealousy or ignorance? Would you do the same thing again if you had it to do over? What does your conscience say about it?

No great man escaped having enemies; all the old masters had critics; all political and social reforms had their adversaries and the early disciples of all new religions were persecuted, stoned and crucified.

If you are criticized you may possibly be right, but if you are ignored you know you are wrong.

Published by Hazelden

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 Page 56 ~

Facing Criticism

Sometimes, we register surprise, shock, and anger when people find fault with A.A. We are apt to be disturbed to such an extent that we cannot benefit by constructive criticism.

This sort of resentment makes no friends and achieves no constructive purpose. Certainly, this is an area in which we can improve.

<< << << >> >> >>

It is evident that the harmony, security, and future effectiveness of A.A. will depend largely upon our maintenance of a thoroughly nonaggressive and pacific attitude in all our public relations. This is an exacting assignment, because in our drinking days we were prone to anger, hostility, rebellion, and aggression. And, even though we are now sober, the old patterns of behaviour are to a degree still with us, always threatening to explode on any good excuse.

But we now know this, and therefore I feel confident that in the conduct of our public affairs we shall always find the grace to exert restraint.

~ 1. GRAPEVINE, JULY 1965 ~
~ 2. TWELVE CONCEPTS, P. 71 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc 

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~ CRITICISM ~

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

–Elbert Hubbard

For so many years, I thought I was the only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything and everything. If I could only be “middle of the road,” maybe no one would notice me and I wouldn’t have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to do to survive.

As I grew older, I received constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn’t know how to utilize such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled against their advice.

The program has taught me that all criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I took the course. In fact, I’d wanted to take that class for years, but had not been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help me to learn, and I didn’t shrink from it. I learned from it. It’s all in the attitude.

One Day at a Time …
I will pray to remember I have choices. I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the opportunities available to me.

~ Rhonda ~ 

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

~ CRITICISM ~

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

–Elbert Hubbard

For so many years, I thought I was the only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything and everything. If I could only be “middle of the road,” maybe no one would notice me and I wouldn’t have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to do to survive.

As I grew older, I received constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn’t know how to utilize such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled against their advice.

The program has taught me that all criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I took the course. In fact, I’d wanted to take that class for years, but had not been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help me to learn, and I didn’t shrink from it. I learned from it. It’s all in the attitude.

One Day at a Time …
I will pray to remember I have choices. I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the opportunities available to me.

~ Rhonda ~

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Welcome Criticism

“Thanks much for your letter of criticism. I’m certain that had it not been for its strong critics, A.A. would have made slower progress.

“For myself, I have come to set a high value on the people who have criticized me, whether they have seemed reasonable critics or unreasonable ones. Both have often restrained me from doing much worse than I actually have done. The unreasonable ones have taught me, I hope, a little patience. But the reasonable ones have always done a great job for all of A.A. — and have taught me many a valuable lesson.”

~ LETTER, 1955 

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

CRITICISM

To avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.

~ Elbert Hubbard ~

For so many years, I thought I was the only kid who had been raised with criticism. Fear of criticism is one of the reasons I walked on eggshells at home. I learned to fear success in anything and everything. If I could only be “middle of the road,” maybe no one would notice me and I wouldn’t have to deal with criticism. I did what I had to do to survive.

As I grew older, I received constructive criticism by wise people, but sadly, I didn’t know how to utilize such a gift. It hurt me, and I turned away from well-meaning people. I rebelled against their advice.

The program has taught me that all criticism is not bad. I never thought a day would come where I was comfortable with it. I recently took a correspondence course to help me with my work, and naturally the instructor had to critique my work. I worried about that before I took the course. In fact, I’d wanted to take that class for years, but had not been able to handle the cold fear that stabbed at me when I looked at the application. I finished the class last month. There was much criticism to help me to learn, and I didn’t shrink from it. I learned from it. It’s all in the attitude.

One Day at a Time . . .

I will pray to remember I have choices. I will pray to keep my attitude in a good place so that I might see all the opportunities available to me.

~ Rhonda  

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A.A. Thought for the Day

I shall be loyal in my attendance, generous in my giving, kind in my criticism, creative in my suggestions, loving in my attitudes. I shall give A.A. my interest, my enthusiasm, my devotion, and most of all, myself. The Lord’s Prayer has become part of my A.A. thoughts for each day: “Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Lead us not to temptation, but deliver us from evil.” Have I given myself?

Meditation for the Day

As we look back over the year just gone, it has been a good year to the extent that we have put good thoughts, good words, and good deeds into it. None of what we have thought, said, or done need be wasted. Both the good and the bad experiences can be profited by. In a sense, the past is not entirely gone. The result of it, for good or evil, is with us at the present moment. We can only learn by experience and none of our experience is completely wasted. We can humbly thank God for the good things of the year that has gone.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may carry good things into the year ahead. I pray that I may carry on with faith, with prayer, and with hope.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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Page 326 

Welcome Criticism

“Thanks much for your letter of criticism. I’m certain that had it not been for its strong critics, A.A. would have made slower progress.

“For myself, I have come to set a high value on the people who have criticized me, whether they have seemed reasonable critics or unreasonable ones. Both have often restrained me from doing much worse than I actually have done. The unreasonable ones have taught me, I hope, a little patience. But the reasonable ones have always done a great job for all of A.A. — and have taught me many a valuable lesson.”

~ LETTER, 1955 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

I am less critical of other people, inside and outside of A.A. I used to run people down all the time. I realize now that it was because I wanted unconsciously to build myself up. I was envious of people who lived normal lives. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t be like them. And so I ran them down. I called them sissies or hypocrites. I was always looking for faults in the other person. I loved to tear down what I called “a stuffed shirt” or “a snob.” I have found that I can never make a person any better by criticism. A.A. has taught me this. Am I less critical of people?

Meditation for the Day

You must admit your helplessness before your prayer for help will be heard by God. Your own need must be recognized before you can ask God for the strength to meet that need. But once that need is recognized, your prayer is heard above all the music of heaven. It is not theological arguments that solve the problems of the questing soul, but the sincere cry of that soul to God for strength and the certainty of that soul that the cry will be heard and answered.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may send my voiceless cry for help out into the void. I pray that I may feel certain that it will be heard somewhere, somehow.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation
 

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Page 296

Daily Inventory

Often, as we review each day, only the closest scrutiny will reveal what our true motives were. There are cases where our ancient enemy rationalization has stepped in and has justified conduct which was really wrong. The temptation here is to imagine that we had good motives and reasons when we really hadn’t.

We “constructively criticized” someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument. Or, the person concerned not being present, we thought we were helping others to understand him, when in actuality our true motive was to feel superior by pulling him down.

We hurt those we loved because they needed to be “taught a lesson”, but we really wanted to punish. We were depressed and complained we felt bad, when in fact we were mainly asking for sympathy and attention.

~ TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 94 

Copyright © 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc. 

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrecovery

MY CHECKLIST, NOT YOURS

Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to proclaim our own righteousness.

~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 67

Sometimes I don’t realize that I gossiped about someone until the end of the day, when I take an inventory of the day’s activities, and then, my gossiping appears like a blemish in my beautiful day. How could I have said something like that? Gossip shows its ugly head during a coffee break or lunch with business associates, or I may gossip during the evening, when I’m tired from the day’s activities, and feel justified in bolstering my ego at the expense of someone else.

Character defects like gossip sneak into my life when I am not making a constant effort to work the Twelve Steps of recovery. I need to remind myself that my uniqueness is the blessing of my being, and that applies equally to everyone who crosses my path in life’s journey. Today the only inventory I need to take is my own. I’ll leave judgment of others to the Final Judge—Divine Providence.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

Am I critical of other members of A.A. or of new prospects? Do I ever say about other members: “I don’t think they’re sincere, I think they’re bluffing, or I think they’re taking a few drinks on the quiet?” Do I realize that my doubtful and skeptical attitude is hurting those members, if only in my attitude toward them, which they cannot help sensing? Do I say about new prospects: “They’ll never make the program,” or do I say: “They’ll only last a few months?” If I take this attitude, I am unconsciously hurting those prospects’ chances. Is my attitude always constructive and never destructive?

Meditation for the Day

To be attracted toward God and a better life, you must be spirit-guided. There is wonderful illumination of thought given to those who are spirit-guided. To those who are material-guided, there is nothing in God or a finer life to appeal to them or to attract them. But to those who are spirit-guided there is strength and peace and calm to be found in communion with an Unseen Lord. To those who believe in this God they cannot see but whose power they can feel, life has a meaning and purpose. They are children of the Unseen Lord, and all human beings are their brothers and sisters.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be spirit-guided. I pray that I may feel God’s presence and power in my life.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

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Elder’s Meditation of the Day #essentialsofrecovery

“No one likes to be criticized, but criticism can be something like the desert wind that, in whipping the tender stalks, forces them to strike their roots down deeper for security.”
–Polingaysi Qoyawayma, HOPI

You move toward and become that which you think about. Creating a vision is what guides our lives. If we get off track with our vision, then we experience conflict. Conflict is nature’s way of telling us we are not in harmony. Criticism can be a way for one human being to help another. Often our Elders will give us criticism. This feedback is intended to be helpful. Criticism from our Elders helps us grow strong.

Great Spirit, today, if I need it, please provide me positive criticism. 

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