Created to carry the message of recovery to all addicts. Whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, food or any other addiction the program of recovery is the same. I am a recovering alcoholic of over twenty-seven years, a day at a time of course and I believe my primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve recovery. Remember seven days without a meeting makes one weak. Sign up to get emails.This Blog is NOT IN ANY WAY affiliated to either A.A. or N.A. Help to stop drinking.
The hopeful man sees success where others see failure, sunshine where others see shadows and storm. ~ O. S. Marden When wise men say, “Hope springs eternal,” they are reminding us that no matter how great are the obstacles, the hope of winning out in the long run still exists. Hope is our friend when all else has failed. When we have strength of character and an energetic mind, hope always flourishes. We discover that, at the very brink of despair, we will find courage to keep trying as long as there is hope for success. After all, what have we got to lose? Without hope, we have no chance, anyway. Our chance for glory comes when we keep trying even though all seems lost. Our hearts remain strong and brave when hope reminds us that challenges last until a game is over. What light of hope can I keep burning within me today?
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“You want to know who’s a real medicine man? He’s the one who doesn’t say ‘I’m a medicine man.’ He doesn’t ask you to come to him. You’ve got to go and ask him. And you’ll find he’s always there among his own people.” – Louis Farmer, ONONDAGA The Medicine Man is a role model of what it is like to live in harmony and balance with the Creator. It takes a long time, a lot of sacrifice and discipline to become a Medicine Man. A Medicine Man is humble and never crass about anything. He knows he lives to do the will of the Great Spirit. He knows he is to help the people. He lives very low key – the more low key he lives, the more people seek him out – and such is life. The more one serves the people and is quiet about it, the more he is sought out. The quieter he is, the more powerful is his medicine. Great Spirit, allow me this day to be humble. Allow me this day not to seek attention, but to live quietly and keep my focus and attention on serving You.
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A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude. —Rainer Maria Rilke Solitude is vital to our well being, but in a family it’s hard sometimes to find the space and time to be alone. The house is often crowded with laughter, voices, the radio, and the TV. There are often many things going on at the same time. It’s true that our family is a team, and that we work together, whether we intend to or not, to create the environment we live in. If it’s noisy, that’s the way we live. Noise is life to some. The fact that others need our help or company is wonderful proof of our value. But if we can be guardians of each other’s solitude, out of love for one another, we will each come back renewed, strengthened, and recreated. We can bring new life into our days when we are alone with God and ourselves. How can I help someone find rest and renewal today?
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"We are only operating a spiritual kindergarten in which people are enabled to get over drinking and find the grace to go on living to better effect."
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 95
When I came to A. A., I was run down by the bottle and wanted to lose the obsession to drink, but I didn’t really know how to do that. I decided to stick around long enough to find out from the ones who went before me. All of a sudden I was thinking about God! I was told to get a Higher Power and I had no idea what one looked like. I found out there are many Higher Powers. I was told to find God, as I understand Him, that there was no doctrine of the Godhead in A.A. I found what worked for me and then asked that Power to restore me to sanity. The obsession to drink was removed and–one day at a time–my life went on, and I learned how to live sober.
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“…ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.” Tradition Twelve
Sometimes it’s hard to accept others’ character defects. As we recover together, we not only listen to others talk in meetings, we also watch how they walk through their recovery. The more we get to know other members, the more we become aware of how they live their lives. We may form opinions about how they “work their program.” We may find that certain members upset us, or we may even hear ourselves say, “If I worked their program, I would surely use.”
We have found tolerance to be a principle that not only strengthens our own recovery but also our relationships with individuals who are a source of irritation to us. It becomes easier to accept other members’ frailties when we remember that we ourselves rarely turn over our own character defects until we become painfully aware of them.
Just for today: I will strive to accept others as they are. I will try not to judge others. I will focus on the principles of love and acceptance.
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A.A. Thought For The Day Alcohol is our weakness. We suffer from mental conflicts from which we look for escape by drowning our problems in drink. We try through drink to push away from the realities of life. But alcohol does not feed, alcohol does not build, it only borrows from the future and it ultimately destroys. We try to drown our feelings in order to escape life’s realities, little realizing or caring that in continued drinking we are only multiplying our problems. Have I got control over my unstable emotions? Meditation For The Day When I let personal piques and resentments interfere with what I know to be my proper conduct, I am on the wrong track and I am undoing all I have built up by doing the right thing. I must never let personal piques interfere with living the way I know God wants me to live. When I have no clear guidance from God, I must go forward quietly along the path of duty. The attitude of quiet faith will receive its reward as surely as acting upon God’s direct guidance. I must not weaken my spiritual power by letting personal piques upset me. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may not let myself become too upset. I pray that I may go quietly along the path I have chosen.
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All kinds of people have found their way into A.A. Not too long ago, I sat talking in my office with a member who bears the title of Countess. That same night, I went to an A.A. meeting. It was winter, and there was a mild-looking little gent taking the coats. I said, “Who’s that?”
And somebody answered, “Oh, he’s been around for a long time. Everybody likes him. He used to be one of Al Capone’s mob.” That’s how universal A.A. is today.
We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. All of us, whatever our race, creed, or color, are the children of a living Creator, with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try.
1. A.A. Comes Of Age, p. 102 2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 28
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Expressing gratitude Self Improvement How can we express gratitude when we feel it? We can begin by simply using the proper forms of courtesy at all times; this reminds us that we can’t live without other people. The best way to express gratitude, however, is to “ass on” the good that has come to us. This is more effective when we share ideas and experiences that have helped us on the way to self-improvement. It’s also a good idea to dismiss thoughts and statements that are forms of prideful boasting. Even telling people how hard we’ve worked for the 12 Step program can detract from our gratitude. And never, under any circumstances, should we put others under obligation to us. I’ll discover ways to express my gratitude today. I’ll know that my best way of doing it is to pass on good ideas to others.
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In our addiction, we often went after what was ugly in life. Maybe we hung out in bad places.
Maybe we saw people’s defects instead of their beauty. Addiction is ugly, painful disease. The worst part of addiction is how it doesn’t let us see beauty in the world.
There is much beauty in each of us. Recovery is beautiful. Our stories are beautiful. The way we help each other is beautiful. The way we become loving family members is beautiful. But sometimes, we may still see the world as ugly. At these times, we need to turn to our program.
Maybe we need to help someone by working Step Twelve. Maybe we need ask to give the Step at our meeting. Maybe we just need to read the Big Book. Whatever we do, one thing is sure— if we turn to our program, we’ll see how beautiful the world is.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see beautiful today. Help me be beautiful today. Action for the Day: Today I’ll let myself feel beautiful. I’ll see recovery as beautiful.
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PERFECTION “I have offended God and mankind because my work didn’t reach the quality it should have.” –Leonardo da Vinci How I used to beat myself up! I was not good enough. I was not attractive enough. I could not speak properly. I was too small. My family was not prestigious enough. I was boring. My breath smelled, etc., etc. I never saw my value in life. I could never see beyond my failings into my God-given virtues. Sin was all too evident in my life! Today I catch an egotism in my past criticism of self and others! Who was I to think I should be perfect? I could find fault with the Archangel Gabriel if he came to be my neighbor. My compulsive disease extended beyond drugs to negative attitudes about life. Today I see my value. Sobriety has restored my dignity. Today I am in touch with that part of me that is noble. Today in my sobriety I am a spiritual somebody, not a nobody. Let my desire for “perfection” be tempered by reality.
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The primary purpose of The Program is freedom from addiction; without that freedom we have nothing. But that doesn’t mean I can say, for example, “Sobriety is my only concern. Except for my drinking, I’m really a sure person, so give me sobriety, and I’ve got it made.” If I delude myself with such specious nonsense, I’ll make so little progress with my real life problems and responsibilities that I’ll likely return to my addiction. That’s why The Program’s Twelve Step urges us to “practice these principles in all our affairs.” Am I living just to be free of chemical dependence, or also to learn to serve, and to love?
Today I Pray
May I relish and be grateful for my sobriety, which is where all good things begin. But let me not stop at that and give up trying to understand myself, the nature of God and of humanity. Freedom from dependency is the first freedom. May I be certain that there are more to come — freedom from tight-mindedness, from the unrest of bottled-up feelings, from over-dependence on others, from a Godless existence. May The Program which answered my acute needs also answer my chronic ones.
Today I Will Remember
Sobriety is just a beginning.
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ACCEPTANCE “Because you’re not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who in truth, you are.” –Madeleine L’Engle The Big Book of AA says, “Acceptance is the answer to all my problems.” I am finding this to be true for me. Living in a household with several family members, I need to not focus on others’ faults. I can choose to practice acceptance by looking past what others do that I think they shouldn’t do, and instead I can love them for who they are. In order to show unconditional love I must look past their shortcomings. I need to stop dwelling on the fact that they sometimes don’t do things the way I want them to. If I don’t do that, anger and resentments follow and I find myself trying to control things and play God. We all know that doesn’t work. It just causes misery and takes away my joy, peace and serenity. As I work my program of recovery, I am better off to “let go and let God” and just accept others as they are. Putting others in God’s hands and resisting the temptation to try to make things turn out the way I want them to is the definition of acceptance for me. When I love others unconditionally I experience peace and serenity beyond my wildest dreams. One day at a time … I will practice the miracle of acceptance and unconditional love. ~ Bluerose
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“Believing people can soar beyond ordinary life.” –Fools Crow, LAKOTA We are created by God to be vision people. First we set the goal and then we see. If we create within ourselves a picture or vision and we hold that picture or vision in our mind, whatever we picture will show up in our reality. If we can see ourselves being educated, then schools and teachers will show up in our lives. If we picture in our mind a positive, spiritual person to be in our lives, we will attract this type of person in our relationships. How big can our dreams be? Great Spirit, let my visions today be Your vision. Put within me a vision of the being you would have me be. Then help me to keep the vision in my min
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"Self-image sets the boundaries of individual accomplishment." —Maxwell Maltz The way we think about ourselves determines how we behave and who we become. If Eileen believes she is good at baseball, she will swing the bat more confidently and catch fly balls more easily. And her extra effort will generally pay off. At math, Steve thinks he’s a whiz and it makes him proud. He studies so he’ll continue to be a whiz. The image we have of ourselves is like the blueprint the contractor follows when building a house. When we see ourselves sad or angry, our behaviour and personality will match it. When we see ourselves withdrawn and afraid, we seem to avoid activities that involve others. How wonderful that we can change our behavior and thus ourselves by changing the picture we carry in our minds. Do I have a good picture of myself today?
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“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” – Step 5 “This (Step) is perhaps difficult – especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. …We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. …Trying to avoid this humbling experience, (members) have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk.”– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), pp 72-3. Today, I seek the understanding that the purpose of Step Five is to unburden myself of the excess emotional baggage of guilt, fear, resentment and anger that will likely impair my recovery if I do not let go of that weight. I cannot expect to reap the Program’s full benefits if I cannot be unconditionally honest with myself and others by keeping bottled inside those events or feelings that might have contributed to my drinking – and hurt to others. Along with humility, Step Five requires courage, most certainly. But failing to muster both and finally letting go of what now hurts me in my recovery will predictably impede that recovery. And, in letting go by confiding in a trusted confidant or sponsor, I may find fresh perspectives, useful direction and an unbiased opinion that what I think is so bad may not be as bad as I think. Today, I look for the humility and courage to take Step Five and, hopefully, find reconciliation in the process. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.
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The poor old drunk has ever had to face the wrath of the law and an indignant world. Lectures, threats, jail sentences, booby hatches and asylums have proven to be but waste of words, efforts and public funds. Nothing – absolutely nothing – worked. AA tried a revolutionary ministration of sympathy and understanding. It recognized his condition as an illness, threefold in its nature, and that the only medication that would prove effective must treat his physical, mental and spiritual disorder at one and the same time. Hazelden Foundation
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Gods have many faces, But true divinity has no face.
There are so many gods in the world. Taoists have their pantheon. The Buddhists, Hindus, and other religions have theirs. The Islamic and Judeo-Christian schools may be monotheistic, but their sects differ vastly from one another. Those who follow Tao assert that each of us sees the divine in our own way. Is there one god, or many?
Among those who follow Tao, there are those who say if there are gods, then everyone is a god. You are god. There is nothing in the sky, and no one lives your life but you. Whatever one believes in terms of deities is fine. It’s all individual preference, and it ultimately means self-awareness. But there is something beyond the diversity of gods, and that is the absolute.
That which is absolute is formless. Thus Tao is nameless and faceless. We cannot consider Tao our god. That would be to give it form and therefore bring it back into the world where the myriad things have names. We use the word Tao for convenience only, but in fact, we are referring to a deep mystery. As long as we live in the world of diversity, whether it is the frantic pace of our professional lives or the involvement with all the gods of the world, we will not be with Tao. It is only when we leave the diversity of existence and find the formless absolute that we reach Tao.
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Paul says that faith without works is dead. In other words, one should not sit and pray only, but he should also take the necessary material steps. It needs a combination of the two things to bring success.
It may be, in our personal lives, that taking the necessary material steps may mean going to an employment agency to look for a job, or getting a medical examination, or seeking legal advice. In each case, having prayed first, we know that God is directing our footsteps along the right paths. Sometimes we put the cart before the horse by taking the material steps first, and then saying in effect, "look God, what I have done. Please confirm my actions," or, "Please get me out of this mess.
So, as a nation, the necessary material steps may mean building a strong economy, stock-piling essential materials, coordinating the efforts of labor, management, and government, and the hundreds of other things that will make a country strong.
But through it all, we should prepare for peace by constantly praying for peace, because only in that way will the material steps that we take have any real meaning in the long run.
The world needs a spiritual revival, and in praying for peace for this nation and its friends, we should also pray for our potential enemies as well. Hate is the essence of war--love is the essence of peace. See the Christ in all men.
Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord (Psalm 33:12) Fox, Emmet (2010-09-07). Stake Your Claim: Exploring the Gold Mine Within (pp. 72-73). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
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IDEAS “Ideas shape the course of history.” –John Maynard Keynes I get so excited about my sobriety because it has given me ideas. Today I can think, ponder and create. God is such a big idea today — every thing is involved. For years I had made God a prisoner of the Church or an idea in history, but in my sobriety I have discovered Him in art, poetry, music and literature. God is found in friendship, advice, sharing and sexuality. God is forcibly experienced in nature, sunsets, animals and the sea. God can be found through my failures. He is perceived in suffering, loneliness and resentments. The acknowledgment of my disease has brought me closer to God as I understand Him. My idea of God is alive and it makes me want to live. May my ideas and thoughts always reflect Your beauty.
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TRUSTING OTHERS But does trust require that we be blind to other people’s motives or, indeed, to our own? Not at all; this would be folly. Most certainly, we should assess the capacity for harm as well as the capability for good in every person that we would trust. Such a private inventory can reveal the degree of confidence we should extend in any given situation. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 144 I am not a victim of others, but rather a victim of my expectations, choices and dishonesty. When I expect others to be what I want them to be and not who they are, when they fail to meet my expectations, I am hurt. When my choices are based on self-centeredness, I find I am lonely and distrustful. I gain confidence in myself, however, when I practice honesty in all my affairs. When I search my motives and am honest and trusting, I am aware of the capacity for harm in situations and can avoid those that are harmful.
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Surrender “We didn’t stumble into this fellowship brimming with love, honesty, open-mindedness, or willingness….When we were beaten, we became willing.” Basic Text, p. 20 Surrender may be the necessary foundation for recovery, but sometimes we fight it. Most of us look back after some clean time and wonder why on earth we fought so hard to deny our powerlessness when surrender is what finally saved our lives. As we recover, new opportunities to surrender present themselves. We can either struggle with everyone and everything we encounter or we can recall the benefits of our first surrender and stop fighting. Most of the pain we experience comes from fighting, not surrendering. In fact, when we surrender, the pain ends and hope takes its place. We begin to believe that all will be well and, after some time, realize that our lives are much better as a result. We feel the same way we did when we gave up the illusion that we could control our using-relieved, free, and filled with fresh hope. Just for today: Is there a surrender I need to make today? I will remember my first surrender and remind myself that I don’t need to fight anymore.
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A.A. Thought For The Day No chain is stronger than its weakest link. Likewise, if you fail in the day-by-day program, in all probability it will be your weakest point. Great faith and constant contact with God’s power can help you discover, guard, and undergird your weakest point with a strength not your own. Intelligent faith in God’s power can be counted on to help you master your emotions, help you to think kindly of others, and help you with any task that you undertake, no matter how difficult. Am I master of my emotions? Meditation For The Day You need to be constantly recharged by the power of the spirit of God. Continue with God in quiet times until the life from God, the Divine life, by that very contact, flows into your being and revises your fainting spirit. When weary, take time out and rest. Rest and gain power and strength from God, and then you will be ready to meet whatever opportunities come your way. Rest until every care and worry and fear have gone and then the tide of peace and serenity, love and joy, will flow into your consciousness. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may rest and become recharged. I pray that I may pause and wait for the renewing of my strength.
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Mine was exactly the kind of deep-seated block we so often see today in new people who say they are atheistic or agnostic. Their will to disbelieve is so powerful that apparently they prefer a date with the undertaker to an open-minded and experimental quest for God.
Happily for me, and for most of my kind who have since come along in A.A., the constructive forces brought to bear in our Fellowship have nearly always overcome this colossal obstinacy. Beaten into complete defeat by alcohol, confronted by the living proof of release, and surrounded by those who can speak to us from the heart, we have finally surrendered.
And then, paradoxically, we have found ourselves in a new dimension, the real world of spirit and faith. Enough willingness, enough open-mindedness–and there it is!
A.A. Today, p. 9
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Words are sacred, we must use them wisely. . . . They are a gift from God.
Burton Pretty-On-Top -Crow
We use words to bring peace to others. We can use words to tell God and others how much we care. Or we can use words to hurt others. We can curse them and scare them away. We often did when we used alcohol and other drugs. In recovery, we learn to use words in a kind, wise way. We treat words as a gift from God. We use words to build our relationships. Do I always use words in a kind way? Do I treat words as a powerful gift from God? Do my words make the world better or worse for those who hear me speak? Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, when I speak words, help me think about their power. Help me speak to others in a kind way. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll speak to others with respect. My words will add a little kindness, honesty, and love to the world today.
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“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”
–Elbert Hubbard
When I used to take life too seriously, I was always miserable. I missed so much. I placed a disproportionate amount of energy on my own importance. I am not saying that I am not important, but I must learn to live within the structures of this imperfect world.
For so long I made myself the “victim” of this world. Every airplane missed was seen as a personal abuse. I could not wait in a line without getting angry and developing a resentment to everybody around. Everybody was expected to revolve around my world and I felt the world owed me a living! The result: unhappiness.
I needed to change or remain unhappy. Today I am learning to change and I am working on patience.
Thank You for the spiritual gift of balance in my life.
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Complacency is my enemy, easy to recognize in others, but difficult to identify and accept in myself. Complacency simply means being sure we’re right — taking it for granted that we couldn’t possibly be wrong. It means, moreover, judging others by what we think is right. It blocks out understanding and kindness, and seems to justify qualities in ourselves that we’d find wholly intolerable in others. Do I tend to assume that my views are always correct? Today I Pray
God, please steer me past complacency, that state of being on dead center. When I am smug, I am no longer a seeker. If I assume I am always right, I am never on guard for my own mistakes, which can run away with me. Keep me teachable. Keep me growing, in heart, mind and spirit.
Today I Will Remember
Complacency stunts growth.
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MIRACLES “Miracles are instantaneous, they cannot be summoned but come of themselves, usually at unlikely moments and to those who least expect them.” –Katherine Ann Porter I never believed that we live in an age of miracles. As far as I was concerned, those happened only in the days of the Bible — with burning bushes and the red sea opening up. When I first came into the program and heard people talking about miracles, I was skeptical. As I became more open to the possibility, things began to happen which I can only consider to be miracles. They may not have seemed large to my old closed mind, but being able to give up certain trigger foods — or having a fellow member in the program call me when I most needed a call — have become miracles in my life today. Being able to maintain my weight, rather than losing and gaining weight every few months, is a miracle. Most importantly, my transformed relationships with my children and other loved ones are miracles. One day at a time… I will open my mind to the possibility of miracles occurring in my life…and they will come. ~ Sharon
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“He [Wakan Tanka] walks with us along the pathways of Life, and He can do for us what we could never do on our own.”
–Fools Crow, LAKOTA
With the Creator in our lives, we are everything. Without the Creator, we are nothing. When the Creator is in our life, suddenly the impossible becomes possible. The extraordinary becomes ordinary. Things we thought could never happen start to happen. Talents we never know we had, start to blossom. Resources appear. Help arrives to give us guidance and direction. We become happy. We have peace of mind and confidence. Oh Great Spirit, today I want You in my life. The days that I know You are with me are the days that are perfect. Let me be joyful today.
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Real friends are those who, when you’ve made a fool of yourself, don’t feel that you’ve done a permanent job.
—Erwin T. Randall
What kind of friends do we have? Are they people who complain a lot? Are they people who laugh at us or put others down?
The kind of people we want to be will decide what kind of friends we have. If we want to feel sorry for ourselves, we will choose friends who will tell us how rotten their lives are. If we want to think we’re better than others, we will hang around people who laugh at others’ mistakes.
But if we want to be the best we can be, we will pick friends who see the good in life, people who will encourage us to be ourselves and who will help us try harder at things that are difficult for us.
How can I be a better friend today?
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Adoration of your god is more beautiful than lovers, more fulfilling than feasts, more valuable than mammon. It provides greater shelter than places. Proper worship is joyous and ecstatic.
If you have a limited view of worship, you can always lose sight of holiness. When you are on a junior level of achievement, you can turn away from your gods at any time. Those who follow Tao know that Tao is not the god on the altar, they therefore see their god in their every action and never lose sight of the divine.
Gods can be worshipped, but the Tao can’t be worshipped. Why? Because gods lead to good things and inspire our highest devotion. As magnificent as this is to imagine, it is still limited when compared to the eternity of Tao. Tao has no definitions, no limit, no personal or individual consciousness. Thus, to worship Tao is meaningless, for our effort would be lost in an infinite sea. There is no supplication to it, for it will not respond. There is no adoration of it, for it displays no glory. There is no ecstatic union with it, for it has no differentiations. Tao is great. Tao is eternal. Anything limited and small – even worship – disappears in it. One can only enter Tao to become a part of its limitlessness.
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In the root and stem of your own psyche there is an accumulation of bad habits, If you cannot see through them and act independently of them, you will unavoidably get bogged down along the way.
Zen Master Yuansou
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Really there are only two feelings that a human being can have, namely, love and fear.
It is generally supposed that the kinds of feeling we may have are legion, but this is an illusion. All other feelings, so-called, will turn out upon analysis to be either love or fear.
What about anger? Well, anger is really but fear in disguise. In chemistry we occasionally find the same substance occurring under completely different appearances. For example, black lead is exactly the same substance chemically as a diamond, different as they look. There are said to be allotropic forms of carbon.
In the same way, anger, hatred, jealousy, criticism, egotism, are but allotropic forms of fear.
Joy, interest, the feeling of success and accomplishment, the appreciation of art, are allotropic forms of love.
The great difference between the two feelings is that love is always creative, and fear is always destructive. A sesnse of love rebuilds the body, lengthens the life, brings inspiration, expands business, opens the way in a thousand directions, overcomes any obstacle.
Fear destroys the body, kills inspiration, paralyzes business, throws a winter of death over everything.
It is for us to decide which of these two feelings shall hold sway in our lives.
"God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth in God, and God in him."
Fox, Emmet (2010-09-07). Make your Life Worthwhile (pp. 36-37). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.
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Poor little old me. I had the Ploms and almost died from them. Sober, I would probably have survived with a few new scars on an already badly dented ego, and my life since would have been a different one. Yet I had survived many a maudlin drinking bout without resorting to suicide attempts. It was alcohol plus the Ploms that almost did me in. - The Best of the Grapevine [Vol. 1], p. 27 Thought to Ponder . . . Self-pity is followed by isolation is followed by a drink.
AA-related 'Alconym' . . .
P L O M = Poor Little Old Me.
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This brought me to the good healthy realization that there were plenty of situations left in the world over which I had no personal power–that if I was so ready to admit that to be the case with alcohol, so I must make the same admission with respect to much else. I would have to be still and know that He, not I, was God.
AS BILL SEES IT, p. 114
I am learning to practice acceptance in all circumstances of my life, so that I may enjoy peace of mind. At one time life was a constant battle because I felt I had to go through each day fighting myself, and everyone else. Eventually, this became a losing battle. I ended up getting drunk and crying over my misery. When I began to let go and let God take over my life I began to have peace of mind. Today, I am free. I do not have to fight anybody or anything anymore.
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“In our recovery, we find it essential to accept reality. Once we can do this, we do not find it necessary to use drugs in an attempt to change our perceptions.” Basic Text, p. 87 Drugs used to buffer us from the full force of life. When we stop using drugs and enter recovery, we find ourselves confronted directly with life. We may experience disappointment, frustration, or anger. Events may not happen the way we want them to. The self-centeredness we cultivated in our addiction has distorted our perceptions of life; it is difficult to let go of our expectations and accept life as it is. We learn to accept our lives by working the Twelve Steps of Narcotics Anonymous. We discover how to change our attitudes and let go of character defects. We no longer need to distort the truth or to run from situations. The more we practice the spiritual principles contained in the steps, the easier it becomes to accept life exactly as it comes to us. Just for today: I will practice self-acceptance by practicing the Twelve Steps.
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A.A. Thought For The Day If you have any doubt, just ask any of the older members of the A.A. group, and they will readily tell you that since they turned their lives over to the care of God as they understand Him, many of their problems have been banished into the forgotten yesterdays. When you allow yourself to be upset over one thing, you succeed only in opening the door to the coming of hundreds of other upsetting things. Am I allowing myself to be upset over little things? Meditation For The Day I would do well not to think of the Red Sea of difficulties that lies ahead. I am sure that when I come to that Red Sea, the waters will part and I will be given all the power I need to face and overcome many difficulties and meet what is in store for me with courage. I believe that I will pass through that Red Sea to the promised land, the land of the spirit where many souls meet in perfect comradeship. I believe that when that time comes, I will be freed of all the dross of material things and find peace. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may face the future with courage. I pray that I may be given strength to face both life and death fearlessly.
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We started upon a personal inventory, Step Four. A business which takes no regular inventory usually goes broke. Taking a commercial inventory is a fact-finding and a fact-facing process. It is an effort to discover the truth about the stock in trade. One object is to disclose damaged or unsalable goods, to get rid of them promptly and without regret. If the owner of the business is to be successful, he cannot fool himself about values.
We had to do exactly the same thing with our lives. We had to take stock honestly.
“Moments of perception can build into a lifetime of spiritual serenity, as I have excellent reason to know. Roots of reality, supplanting the neurotic underbrush, will hold fast despite the high winds of the forces which would destroy us, or which we would use to destroy ourselves.” 1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 64
2. Letter, 1949
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The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works. —St. Augustine. We started recovering the minute we admitted we were powerless over our illness. We crossed over from dishonesty to honesty. Often, we don’t see what power honestly has. Maybe we still aren’t sure that being honest is best for us. It is! This is why the authors of the Big Book ask us to be totally honest from the start. Just as denial is what makes addiction work, honesty is what makes recovery work. Honesty means self-respect. Honesty heals. Honesty let us look people in the eyes. What comfort we’ll feel as we deeper into our program. Prayer for the Day: I pray that I’ll let go totally. I pray that I’ll keep no secrets that could put my sobriety at risk. Action for the Day: Today, I’ll read the first three pages of “How It Works” in the Big Book.
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“You’ll never really know what I mean and I’ll never really know exactly what you mean.” –Mike Nichols There is a certain loneliness in life with which we must all live; perhaps this is the price of individuality. I am not always sure that I know what I am feeling or thinking and so I know I cannot be absolutely sure of what you are feeling or thinking. Today when I say “I know how you feel”, it is with this reservation. Another problem I face daily is finding words to express what I feel — language seems so inadequate. Words, although bridges to meaning, are often barriers to understanding. What I mean by what I say is often misunderstood. This awareness provides me with the stimulus to be more precise, explicit and creative in my methods of communication and understanding. Today I consider more seriously what the other person is trying to say, rather than just listening to the words. Because I am sensitive to my difficulties in being understood, I am becoming patient with my neighbor. Teach us never to become victims of our language.
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Reflection For The Day The minute we think about a twisted or broken relationship with another person, our emotions go on the defensive. To avoid looking at the wrongs we’ve done another, we resentfully focus on the wrong he or she has done us. With a sense of triumph, we seize upon his or her slightest misbehavior as perfect excuse for minimizing or forgetting our own. We have to remember that we’re not the only ones plagued by sick emotions. Often, we’re really dealing with fellow sufferers, including those whose woes we’re increased. If I’m about to ask forgiveness for myself, why shouldn’t I start out by forgiving them? Today I Pray When I blame or fault-find, may my Higher Power tell me to look under the rug for my own feeling of guilt, which I have neatly swept under it. May I recognize these behavior clues for what they really are. Today I Will Remember Resentment, inside-out, is guilt.
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SUNLIGHT OF THE SPIRIT “Trust God and buy broccoli.” Author Unknown I heard that quotation in an OA meeting years ago. “What an odd thing,” I thought. “Why does God care what I buy?” But as years have gone by and my abstinence continues one day at a time, I see the meaning of that phrase and have deep respect for its principle. I can trust God ’til the cows come home, but there is work to be done. A more familiar quote is: “Trust God but continue to row toward shore.” Abstinence for me is not only refraining from compulsive overeating, but abstaining from what I call my “alcoholic foods.” They block that beautiful contact between me and the Sunlight of the Spirit. It is my responsibility to purchase, prepare, weigh and measure the best foods for my peace of mind ~ and to open the channel to a Power Greater than Myself. Now I live this way, with thanks to the twelve steps. One day at a time… I will be grateful that food does not have power today. ~ Gerri
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“The one who wishes to be a true medicine person must be a person of faith, and they can only work successfully with those who also have faith.” –Fools Crow, LAKOTA Medicine People are spiritual beings who have made a decision to seek the Red Road. They sacrifice and seek the way of the Creator. After many years of dedication, the Grandfathers teach them about power, and about laws, and about how to use the medicine. The Medicine People develop tremendous faith in their medicine and in the Creator. When we go to the Medicine People, we too must have faith so they can help us. We can only be helped if we want to be helped. Because the Medicine People know how to help – that is only one half of it. The other half is up to us. We must have faith that the medicine has powers to help. My Creator, faith is belief without evidence. Today, give me the faith. Let me trust that You are running my life. Let me know You are in charge of all things. Let my mind not wonder; let me stand strong on Your path today.
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When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade. —Dale Carnegie Good fortune is built on misfortune. By losing a race we learn what mistakes to avoid next time we run. A burglar may make us install the lock that will keep out a murderer. Each time a toddler falls is a lesson in how to walk. We can never assume that, because things are not going the way we want, they are not following a better plan. God is a better manager than we can hope to be. If things aren’t shaping up the way we like, let’s wait with curiosity to see that better things are in store for us. Let’s look for lights in the darkness and follow them to the bright day that always will follow. We will remember our lessons of misfortune with gratitude. What can I learn from delay today?
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“Headstrong and wilful, I rushed from pleasure to pleasure, and found the returns diminishing to the vanishing point. Hangovers began to assume monstrous proportions and the morning drink became an urgent necessity. ‘Blanks’ were more frequent, and I seldom knew how I’d got home. When my friends suggested that I was drinking too much – they were no longer my friends. …With a creeping insidiousness, drink had become more important than anything else. It no longer gave me pleasure – it merely dulled the pain – but I had to have it. I was bitterly unhappy.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 4 (“Women Suffer Too”), p 226. Today, I ask myself in honesty if the “benefits” of my drinking have been obliterated by the consequences – hangovers, drinking out of necessity instead of choice, blackouts, loss of friends who suggested I had a problem, drinking to self-medicate. If in the end I can concede that I depend on alcohol for pleasure or as a solution to some state of mind like anguish or loneliness, I cannot deny that I am addicted if only emotionally or psychologically. That, by definition, makes me an alcoholic. Today, then, I seek the courage and strength not to reject friends or acquaintances who are worried, and I pledge to seek solutions other than alcohol to my psychological pain and unhappiness. And, today, the solution is no farther away than a local AA group. Today, I make the call. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.
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Many members of AA refer to their entrance into our fellowship as a passing from adolescence to maturity. When we take this step, we should cease thinking as children and begin to think as adults. Remember how you wanted what you wanted when you wanted it and cried like hell when you didn’t get it? The advice of wiser and saner folks fell on deaf ears and we persisted in having our way even though our way was killing us. A child thinks with its appetites while a mature person thinks with his head. We all know what class we belonged in. Drunkenness is unthinkable for a thinking person. Hazelden Foundation
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Wine’s pleasure, Love’s intoxication, Work’s obsession, Children’s involvement, Age’s sorrow. When will craving end?
Originally there was nothing. It is to nothing that we return. Differentiation came out of the interplay of cosmic opposites. Human life became mired in complexities, and this constant diversity is stressful and disruptive. We ourselves add to the problem with our own lusts and ambitions. We intoxicate ourselves, we indulge in sensual gratification, we strive for success in our careers, we commit decade to the raising of children. All this only to be caught in the closing jaws of old age, gradually hemmed in until there is not alternative other than sorrows, infirmities, and senility.
Duty is inevitable, but we need not saddle ourselves with extra responsibilities. Keep life simple. Give up as much as possible. Renounce unnecessary cravings and desires. Leave behind the trappings of wealth and success. Turn toward the divine. It satisfies, it brings knowledge, and it brings joy.
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Be the master wherever you are, and then wherever you stand is reality, and situations that come up cannot move you. Even if you have existing have energy that would impel you to evil deeds, it naturally becomes an ocean of liberation.
- Lin Chi (d 867)
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Surrender Is For Everyone “If, after a period of time, we find ourselves in trouble with our recovery, we have probably stopped doing one or more of the things that helped us in the earlier stages of our recovery.” Basic Text, p.92 Surrender is just for newcomers, right? Wrong! After we’ve been around awhile, some of us succumb to a condition particular to old-timers. We think we know something about recovery, about God, about NA, about ourselves-and we do. The problem is, we think we know enough, and we think that merely knowing is enough. But it’s what we learn and what we do after we think we know it all that really makes the difference. Conceit and complacency can land us in deep trouble. When we find that “applying the principles” on our own power just isn’t working, we can practice what worked for us in the beginning: surrender. When we find we are still powerless, our lives again unmanageable, we need to seek the care of a Power greater than ourselves. And when we discover that self-therapy isn’t so therapeutic after all, we need to take advantage of “the therapeutic value of one addict helping another.” Just for today: I need guidance, support, and a Power beyond my own. I will go to a meeting, reach out to a newcomer, call my sponsor, pray to my Higher Power-I will do something that says, “I surrender.”
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Chapter 6 Working With Others (pg 102 & 103) Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don’t start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor. Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. Many of us keep liquor in our homes. We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover. Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this question. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves. We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it. Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it. After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!
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FEAR AND FAITH The achievement of freedom from fear is a lifetime undertaking, one that can never be wholly completed. When under heavy attack, acute illness, or in other condition of insecurity, we shall all react to this emotion – well or badly, as the case may be. Only the self-deceived will claim perfect freedom from fear. AS BILL SEES IT, p. 263 Fear has caused suffering when I could have had more faith. There are times when fear suddenly tears me apart, just when I’m experiencing feelings of joy, happiness and a lightness of heart. Faith–and a feeling of self-worth toward a Higher Power -helps me endure tragedy and ecstasy. When I choose to give all of my fears over to my Higher Power, I will be free.
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New Levels Of Honesty “We have been experts at self-deception and rationalization.” Basic Text, p. 27 When we come to our first meeting and hear that we must be honest, we may think, “Well now, that shouldn’t be too difficult. All I have to do is stop lying.” To some of us, this comes easily. We no longer have to lie to our employers about our absence from work. We no longer have to lie to our families about where we were the night before. By not using drugs anymore, we find we have less to lie about. Some of us may have difficulty even with this kind of honesty, but at least learning not to lie is simple – you just don’t do it, no matter what. With courage, determined practice, the support of our fellow NA members, and the help of our Higher Power, most of us eventually succeed at this kind of honesty. Honesty, though, means more than just not lying. The kind of honesty that is truly indispensable in recovery is self-honesty, which is neither easy nor simple to achieve. In our addiction, we created a storm of self-deception and rationalization, a whirlwind of lies in which the small, quiet voice of self-honesty could not be heard. To become honest with ourselves, we first must stop lying to ourselves. In our Eleventh Step meditations, we must become quiet. Then, in the resulting stillness, we must listen for truth. When we become silent, self-honesty will be there for us to find. Just for today: I will be quiet and still, listening for the voice of truth within myself. I will honor the truth I find.
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A.A. Thought For The Day Intelligent faith in that Power greater than ourselves can be counted on to stabilize our emotions. It has an incomparable capacity to help us look at life in balanced perspective. We look up, around, and away from ourselves, and we see that nine out of ten things that at the moment upset us will shortly disappear. Problems solve themselves, criticism and unkindness vanish as though they had never been. Have I got the proper perspective toward life? Meditation For The Day A truly spiritual man or woman would like to have a serene mind. The only way to keep calm in this troubled world is to have a serene mind. The calm and sane mind sees spiritual things as the true realities and material things as only temporary and fleeting. That sort of mind you can never obtain by reasoning, because your reasoning powers are limited by space and time. That kind of a mind you can never obtain by reading, because other minds are also limited in the same way. You can only have that mind by an act of faith, by making the venture of belief. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may have a calm and sane mind. I pray that I may look up, around, and away from myself.
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This Matter of Honesty, p. 172 “Only God can fully know what absolute honesty is. Therefore, each of us has to conceive what this great ideal may be–to the best of our ability. “Fallible as we all are, and will be in this life, it would be presumption to suppose that we could ever really achieve absolute honesty. The best we can do is to strive for a better quality of honesty. “Sometimes we need to place love ahead of indiscriminate ‘factual honesty.’ We cannot, under the guise of ‘perfect honesty,’ cruelly and unnecessarily hurt others. Always one must ask, ‘What is the best and most loving thing I can do?’” Letter, 1966
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Remember the Golden Key Living in the Spirit Whenever trouble arises, the first thing to do is to turn it over to our Higher Power. We can take all necessary practical steps to solve a problem, but we don’t need to decide what the answer may be. Do this, and you’ll soon be out of your difficulty. This is essentially the formula of the Gold Key as taught by Emmet Fox. It is also the core idea os Steps three and Eleven. It is a manner of living one’s life iwht the constant knowledge that a Higher Power is always part of it. We should also condition ourselves to believe that our Higher Power has been with us all along and will continue to show us the way. Nothing depends on our being “spiritual” or “saintly” or perfect in behavior. With all our shortcomings, we are and ever will be children of God. My Higher Power is always with me today, supplying whatever I need for the accomplishment of any good purpose.
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The future is much like the present, only longer. —Dan Quisenberry In many way we don’t know what the future holds. But in terms of recovery, we know the future holds the Twelve steps. They will be with us for life. We should never fall into the trap of thinking we “know” the program. We’ll never know all the truth and love the Steps hold for us. “Knowing the Steps” is a project we’ll never finish. As we change , the Steps change. As the seasons come and go, the same field or the same tree becomes a different picture. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I pray for Your help as I work the Steps and continue my recovery. Help me discover new treasures. Action for the Day: I will ask long-time members of my program how they keep the program fresh and alive.
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LIES “The cruelest lies are often told in silence.” –Robert Louis Stevenson In treatment I said that I did not “tell” many lies – and although this was not true (hence a lie), it missed the fact that most of my lies were “lies of silence”. It was what I did not say that produced the confusion; the pretended self-confidence that hid the pain and shame; the half-spoken truth that harbored the disease. Communication is the key to any spiritual relationship and a sick silence creates the ultimate blasphemy. God created you and me to relate. In the interchange of our ideas is the miracle born. A sick, angry and ego-centered silence is our shouted “no” to God. O Lord of the paradox, let me see how the lie of silence can be used to destroy my world.
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Reflection For The Day “Direct” is a key word in the Ninth Step. There are times, unfortunately, where many of us are hopeful that indirect amends will suffice, sparing us the pain and supposed humiliation of approaching people in person and telling them of our wrongs. This is evasion and will never give us a true sense of breaking with the wrong-doings of the past. It shows that we’re still trying to defend something that isn’t worth defending, hanging on to conduct that we ought to abandon. The usual reasons for sidestepping direct amends are pride and fear. As I make amends to others, do I realize that the real, lasting benefits accrue to me? Today I Pray May I be sure that the best reward for coming on straight as I try to repair my damages is, after all, my own. But may I avoid making amends purely for my own benefit — to be forgiven, to be reinstated, to flaunt the “new me.” Ego-puffing and people-leasing are not part of the real “new me.” God save me from opportunism. Today I Will Remember No puffery or people-pleasing.
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A Person of Worth “It is funny about life: if you refuse to accept anything but the very best you will very often get it.” –W. Somerset Maugham Upon entering recovery, I found it ironic, even strange, that I was so very good at taking care of others and helping them secure the help that they needed, yet often in my life I have not done this for myself. I would grow depressed and very frozen in anger, grief, and fear. Why wasn’t I ever able to care properly for myself? At what point did I begin to expect the worst as my own allotment in life? It is possible that I dreamed of a “rescue” or an intervention of some kind that would “save me.” It is likely that my Higher Power knew of my tendencies for magical thinking. He caught my attention by the introduction of someone who knew of a program that would point me in a realistic direction. In this program, I would be taught to take small actions — “One day at a time” — that would encourage and re-build my shattered self-esteem. I now am in possession of a wonderful program that has given me tools for recovery and change so that I can learn to treat myself as well as I treat others. One day at a time… I no longer accept anything but the best, as it will indirectly affect my recovery. This is my new mindset: that I am a person of worth. ~ January K.
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