Father Leo’s Daily Meditation

GOD

“Any God I ever felt in Church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did, too. They come to Church to share God, not find God.”

–Alice Walker

God is within us! At one time I would find that statement blasphemous or incomprehensible. I always thought God was a long way off – separate, unknowable and judgmental. He was much more a judge than a friend. I saw myself more the sinner than the son. Naturally, with such a low self-esteem it was hard to associate God with my life, let alone consider God existing within me!

Then I began to search for the spiritual path that leads to a deeper understanding of self – and I found a loving, gentle and friendly God. His love was so pervasive in His world that I was able to discover Him in my life and the lives of others. The concept of meeting together to share God made sense. The concept of discovering a God within and without made God knowable and comprehensible. Because God lives in me, I am alive.

Master, in the breaking of the bread, may I share Your life in my world.

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FR. LEO'S DAILY MEDITATION #essentialsofrec #Indentity #Freedom

IDENTITY

“Without freedom, no one really has a name.”
~ Milton Acorda ~

Part of my identity involves my disease. I am an alcoholic and my name is. . . . With this recognition of who I am come the liberty and freedom to live and create in God’s world. Who I am involves what I am; in the fusion of the two is my spiritual identity.

For years, I ran from myself because I wanted to be different. I felt I would not be acceptable or good enough for you. In running from me, I lost my identity; the seed of low self-esteem was sown.

Knowing I can only be who I am brings the freedom of existence and identity. I am what I am!

Lord, You once said, “I am that I am.”
Well, so am I! 

© 2008 Leo Booth

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CHILDLIKE

“In every child who is born, under no matter what circumstances, and of no matter what parents, the potentiality of the human race is born again.”

~ James Agee ~

Today I see and believe the God-given dignity of the human race in the faces and lifestyles of others. In the challenge and rebelliousness of youth, there is the hope for tomorrow. I associate myself with the need to question, risk, and be outrageous. I play and laugh at myself and own my craziness. I do not need to be perfect. When I used drugs, I was judgmental, serious, and controlling. Everything had to have a place, an answer, or be acceptable to others. My guilt was caused by my inability to please others.

Today I can be childlike and identify with the radical message for tomorrow: “To thine own self be true!”

God, I see a child looking at the stars and I smile. I am that child. 

© 2008 Leo Booth

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IDENTITY

“Without freedom, no one really das a name.”

~ Milton Acorda 

Part of my identity involves my disease. I am an alcoholic and my name is. . . . With this recognition of who I am come the liberty and freedom to live and create in God’s world. Who I am involves what I am; in the fusion of the two is my spiritual identity.

For years, I ran from myself because I wanted to be different. I felt I would not be acceptable or good enough for you. In running from me, I lost my identity; the seed of low self-esteem was sown.

Knowing I can only be who I am brings the freedom of existence and identity. I am what I am!

Lord, You once said, “I am that I am.”
Well, so am I! 

© 2008 Leo Booth

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MONEY

“Capital, as such, is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil”

~ Mohandas K. Gandhi ~

I am not afraid to say I am concerned for my prosperity—not just in terms of health, friendship, and employment but also in terms of money. For years, I wanted to have the best and not short change myself, and I felt guilty. In sobriety, I know I deserve the best. Money, prosperity, and capital are not bad in themselves; it is how I use them that matters.

Today, as promised in recovery, things are getting better, and I am able to invest and buy wisely. I am able to appreciate and share my monetary benefits. Family, friends, and the needy can genuinely share my prosperity: The more I give away today, the more I get.

May I always use the gift of money responsibly.

© 2008 Leo Booth

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FR. LEO'S DAILY MEDITATION #essentialsofrec #Intelligence #Recovery #Intelligence

INTELLIGENCE
“The brighter you are, the more you have to learn.”

~ Don Herald ~

The one thing I have learned in sobriety is how much I do not know! I thought I knew a lot about God, only to discover that I had made God a prisoner of the Church. Once I was willing to free God from my prison, I discovered a freedom and an awareness that constantly fascinate and astound me.

Today I see that the glory of God shines within my pain, within my loneliness and confusion. The acceptance of my disease is the key to my recovery. Today any suffering enables me to discover a realistic spirituality— and it is okay to be confused!

With each new day, let me learn something, even if it is that I have not learned anything that day!

© 2008 Leo Booth

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RELIGION

“We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.”
~ Jonathan Swift 

Religion is a powerful influence in the world, but often the power is negative. It has been used to judge, divide, separate, and control people; rob them of their freedom and creativity; and chain them to creeds and teachings that are not comprehensible. Unfortunately, religion has become dull and lifeless for many people, and God’s love is missed.

But the power of creative spirituality is always alive in God’s world. It unites and frees people so they can be discovered in their individuality. Difference is accepted, choice is respected, and healing is perceived in our ability to love.

May I bring Your gift of spirituality to those who have misplaced it.

© 2008 Leo Booth

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ADVERSITY

“Adversity reveals genius, prosperity conceals it.”

–Horace

Today I believe that the only way to understand God, the world, my neighbor and myself is through some degree of suffering. Pain and suffering are humbling in the truest sense; they stop you from being arrogant, selfish and “prideful”.

I know this because I was a spoiled child. My family tried to give me everything. Whatever I wanted was given to me; my way or no way! This sick love robbed me of humility and separated me from humanity: it made me feel different, selfish and place me on a pity-pot. Being spoiled stopped me experiencing the real world and stopped me from growing.

Today adversity is part of life and part of being human. Not to grow through adversity is to die. To have everything is to experience nothing. To feel in life — to have emotion — demands adversity and pain.

Teach me to be grateful for the suffering that leads to growth.

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MISFORTUNE

“Experience has taught me this, that we undo ourselves by impatience. Misfortunes have their life and their limits, their sickness and their health.”

–Michel de Montaigne

Nothing lasts forever. At times I feel sad, angry, resentful and ashamed — but it passes. In my recovery I have learned to live in “my day” and accept the consequences of that day. I can only deal with life as I experience it. Tomorrow is a new day with new experiences. And some of the experiences are painful. Reality teaches me this. At times I wish I could go through life without pain or rejection but I know that is fantasy. Sobriety does not mean that everything will be perfect — only better!

Nothing is so bad that I need to drink or use over it. Today I know that alcohol increases my pain; it is never a solution. God, who has given me today, will also give me a tomorrow — and time eases the pain if I work my program. Misfortunes are not worth drinking over. Nothing lasts forever.

Thank You for the gift of a tomorrow. 

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LONELINESS

“This great misfortune — to be incapable of solitude.”
–Jean de la Bruyere

Today I am able to live with my loneliness. I know the difference between being “alone” and being “lonely” — and even in sobriety I experience loneliness. But today I can live with it.

When I was drinking, I had an overwhelming feeling of being lost and isolated; today it is tolerable. I can live with it. It is part of being “imperfect”. I am not God.

The reality of spirituality demands that I do not escape into a fantasy that denies my feelings of loneliness. It is part of my journey towards God. I will never appreciate perfect happiness until I rest in God. This I accept. In sobriety I have many days of happiness and moments of joy — but I am, at times, lonely — with feelings of being lost. Today I can accept this — and talk about it.

I accept that part of me will be forever lost until I rest in God. 

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WEALTH

“The only question with wealth is what you do with it.”

–John D. Rockefeller, Jr.

Prosperity, if it is truly to be appreciated, needs to be shared.  Wealth only makes sense when it is put to use for the benefit of the many. To horde treasure is to miss the value of that treasure. Money makes the world go around but it can only produce joy and excitement when it is spent or put to work.

This is also true for those who have a “wealth” of ideas or talents –  they need to be expressed, shared and valued by others to be of any real benefit. A writer needs to write, a musician needs to play, a painter demands a canvas — and the world needs to appreciate.

God is at work in His world and He requires recognition.

Let me find You in the talents that You have shared with me. 

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LIVING

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”

–Marcus Aurelius

For years I did not live I simply existed. What many people take for granted I did not have: friends, vacations, job satisfaction, gratitude, family, communication and love of self. An aspect of my disease, my denial, was that I thought I was happy without having any evidence for such a feeling. Indeed, my lifestyle indicated progressive isolation. That’s illusion. A recovering alcoholic priest shared that early in recovery he saw a sunset and remarked, “How long has that been happening?” Like him, I missed so much!

Life is to be lived or endured. My spiritual recovery means that every day I reach out to life and grasp it, hold it, smell it–and smile.

God of life, let me live today. Let my “high” be the glory of the day. 

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IGNORANCE

“Not ignorance, but ignorance of ignorance is the death of knowledge.”

–Alfred North Whitehead

How little I understood when I was living as an alcoholic. How little I wanted to know. Ignorance was bliss in my addiction. And the real tragedy was that I was ignorant of the extent of my ignorance!  I had no idea how serious my alcoholism was, how pervasive in all areas of my life it had developed, how destructive and negative I had become until I was made to “see” reality in treatment. Reluctantly I opened my eyes to see my ignorance and I knew I needed to change my attitude if I was to recover.

The enemy of the spiritual life is ignorance because it stops us from realizing that the strength and healing power of has spirituality been given by God — all we need do is discover it and appreciate it.

I pray that I and others will have the courage to confront the ignorance in my life.

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WORRY

“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which never happened.”

–Winston Churchill

I know I can worry myself into the grave. I can project an incident into a calamity. I can make mountains out of molehills.

I worried about what people meant by what they said; I always looked for a hidden criticism; I worried about what people did not say; I worried about what people were thinking or were going to do or were plotting. If I had nothing to worry about, then I worried because I felt I should have something to worry about! I created most of the worry in my life.

Today I have a program that helps me deal with this. Of course I still worry, but I have a “checklist” that keeps me sane and allows me to laugh at the insanity of my projections. Today the worry in my life is less destructive and negative.

Let me bring my worry to You in prayer. Then let me sleep! 

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YOUTH

“We are none of us infallible — not even the youngest of us.”

–W. H. Thompson

When I was a young man I did not want to listen to older people because I felt that they did not understand me. With hindsight I see that I did not want to hear what they were saying about my lifestyle.

Today now that I am a “mature man” with a few years of sobriety, I must avoid having the same attitude towards the young, not listening to them because I think they are “too young” or do not understand! I must not repeat, in reverse, yesterday’s mistakes!

None of us are infallible. We are not God. We can learn from each other if we have the patience to listen. Sometimes we need to seek the meaning behind the words.

God, teach me to listen with the ear of understanding and patience.

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VOCATION

“It is well for a man to respect his own vocation, whatever it is, and to think himself bound to uphold it and to claim for it the respect it deserves.”

–Charles Dickens

Nobody else is quite like me. Nobody else can view the world, experience the world, feel the world in the way I can. I am the center of the universe. Other people can love — but it is not the same as my love. Other people can offer the hand of friendship — but it is not the same as the friendship that I can offer. Other people can utter a kind word — but the phrasing of my words belong to me. I am unique and I must remember that. Even my space in the world is special. Nobody can take up the place that I have on the earth; you cannot get into my space. We may both be looking at the same scene, but I see it from my place in the world. Today I respect my uniqueness.

Let me continue to discover something of Your unique image in my life.

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #Negativity

NEGATIVITY

“My life has been nothing but a failure.”

–Claude Monet

I can identify with Claude Monet because for years I considered myself a complete failure. For years I wallowed on my pity-pot until it became too painful. Whatever the “pay-off” was in the previous years had dried up, and I was left with a rock bottom pain that forced me to consider the alternative: I needed to set about doing something to change things!

Astounding! Impossible! How could this ever be? I was forever to be a victim of alcoholism. “Not so.” I heard a voice of hope from a recovering alcoholic who had made the change. Slowly I took small steps towards recovery and self-esteem.

I am a failure so long as I consider myself a failure. I am what I create in my life. God requires my cooperation to make miracles in my life. My decision to listen to those who had achieved sobriety provided the seeds for my recovery today. I wonder if Claude Monet was an alcoholic who never heard the words of hope? 

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #Desire

DESIRE

“One must not lose desires. They are mighty stimulating to creativeness, to love, and to long life.”
–Alexander A. Bogomoletz

Today I desire to live. I have discovered value in my life. I have experienced personal self-esteem. I am able to feel again, talk, trust and laugh again. Today I desire to live.

But I can remember when I felt lonely, isolated, angry, shutdown and hopeless. The desires I had were destructive, desiring isolation mingled with alcohol. Then the pain became too great and I experienced a vital “moment”. I realized I needed to make a choice — was I to live or die? I chose to live!

This was the beginning of my spiritual journey into self from which I discovered God and His world. Creative and positive desires were re-born in my life, and I am able to live and love again.

O Lord, may I continue to desire those things that do not hurt me. 

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #Music #Recovery

MUSIC
“I know that the twelve notes in each octave and the varieties of rhythm offer me opportunities that all of human genius will never exhaust.”
–Igor Stravinsky

There is so much to be gained in life. Just when you think you have exhausted all possibilities, a new insight is perceived, permutations and varieties appear in abundance. An example is sobriety. I thought it meant not drinking but today I see that it affects all areas of my life — how I walk, the hugs I freely give, my acceptance of others, my willingness to trust and risk, my optimism for a new day.

Also God is comprehensive for me today. He is alive in church, the Bible and tradition but He is also alive in literature, scripture, sexuality and music. Today I can hear beyond the symphony into the unfathomable message of God’s love for His creation. And always I hear something different and new.

Thank You, Lord, for Your messengers who love through the art of music. 

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 GREATNESS

“The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the man.”
–Roy L. Smith

I believe the greatest insight into my life is that I am responsible; my responsibility is an important and dignified gift from God.  My responsibility reveals my involvement in God’s creation, in my life and my recovery from alcoholism. Greatness is in the choices I make, and the choices come with God’s gift of freedom. Human beings are more than puppets on a string or automated machines.  We are creative creatures who carry the burden and joy of responsibility.

Along with the acceptance of my alcoholism I also accepted the responsibility to remain sober in my decisions and lifestyle: such is greatness.

Thank You for giving me the responsibility to co-create with You.

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