A Day at a Time - May 15 2026

Reflection for the Day

Looking back at those last desperate days before I came to The Program, I remember more than anything the feelings of loneliness and isolation. Even when I was surrounded by people, including my own family, the sense of “aloneness” was overwhelming. Even when I tried to act sociable and wore the mask of cheerfulness, I usually felt a terrible anger of not belonging.

Will I ever forget the misery of “being alone in a crowd?”

Today I Pray

I thank God for the greatest single joy that has come to me outside of my sobriety – the feeling that I am no longer alone. May I not assume that loneliness will vanish overnight. May I know that there will be a lonely time during recovery, especially since I must pull away from my former junkie friends or drinking buddies. I pray that I may find new friends who are recovering. I thank God for the fellowship of The program.

Today I Will Remember

I am not alone.

Hazelden Foundation

THE EYE OPENER - April 17 2026

Loneliness drives more people to the Gin Mill than almost any other single factor – perhaps even the compulsion to drink.

In the old days when our society was objectionable to all our old friends, we would from sheer boredom go to the bar just to talk to someone. Anyone’s conversation was preferable to our thoughts. The drink was frequently only incidental.

Boredom is still one of our worst enemies. If you have an AA club, there is always some guy you can try to help. Regardless of your effect on him, the experience is bound to help you and will relieve you of your blues.

Published by Hazelden

One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

ISOLATION


”Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.”

Joseph Roux

As an introvert and an agoraphobic I relate to both sides of this quote. From an introverted point of view, I need solitude to regroup, renew, and refresh. It’s part of my process in life to have quiet time alone in order to “get it together”. When I’m alone and I read my OA literature and meditate on what I’m reading and learning, I’m able to gain new insight and a renewed sense of direction in my program.

From an agoraphobic point of view, isolation kills my ability to stick to my program. When my social anxiety cycles and it becomes difficult to get to meetings or make phone calls, I hide from the world ~ and from my friends and other OA members who can help me maintain my abstinence.

Solitude and Isolation are both active decisions. Both require some forethought. If solitude is what I need to in order to regroup, I have to make time for it. I have to take a walk, read a book, putter around my house. On the flip side, if I’m having a hard time with Program and my social anxiety is becoming unmanageable, I can either isolate and spiral down, or I can choose to take action and get to a meeting, make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to meet me for coffee. I don’t have to be alone in this program.

One day at a time…

I remember that I have control over my actions. Although I need solitude to heal, I don’t have to be alone in my disease.

~ Deb B. 

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Daily Reflections #essentialsofrecovery

WE STAND–OR FALL–TOGETHER

. . . no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity. We alcoholics see that we must work together and hang together, else most of us will finally die alone.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p.563

Just as the Twelve Steps of A.A. are written in a specific sequence for a reason, so it is with the Twelve Traditions. The First Step and the First Tradition attempt to instill in me enough humility to allow me a chance at survival. Together they are the basic foundation upon which the Steps and Traditions that follow are built. It is a process of ego deflation which allows me to grow as an individual through the Steps, and as a contributing member of a group through the Traditions. Full acceptance of the First Tradition allows me to set aside personal ambitions, fears and anger when they are in conflict with the common good, thus permitting me to work with others for our mutual survival.  Without Tradition One I stand little chance of maintaining the unity required to work with others effectively, and I also stand to lose the remaining Traditions, the Fellowship, and my life 

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AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrec #Lonliness #Recovery

 7
December

To Watch Loneliness Vanish

Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were noisy good fellows constantly craving attention and companionship, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand.

That’s one reason we loved alcohol too well. But even Bacchus betrayed us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified isolation.

<< << << >> >> >>

Life takes on new meaning in A.A. To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends — this is an experience not to be missed.

~ 1. TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 57
~ 2. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 89 

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrec #LONELINESS #Recovery

17
November


OVERCOMING LONELINESS

Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong.

~ AS BILL SEES IT, p. 90 

The agonies and the void that I often felt inside occur less and less frequently in my life today. I have learned to cope with solitude. It is only when I am alone and calm that I am able to communicate with God, for He cannot reach me when I am in turmoil. It is good to maintain contact with God at all times, but it is absolutely essential that, when everything seems to go wrong, I maintain that contact through prayer and meditation.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc

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Daily Tao / 262 – Loneliness #essentialsofrec #Tao #Taoism #Lonliness

 19

September

Loneliness

Loneliness need not be despair.
It could be an opportunity.


Why are people lonely? It is because they feel no contact with anyone or anything else. They need to feel that they are valued, that they are a part of something, and that their environment will respond to them. When that does not happen, they feel isolated.

One of the major strategies for combating loneliness is to have a mate and family. That is not always perfect, and the problems of a relationship and family sometimes outweigh the terror of loneliness. It is far better to be self-sufficient. Then whether one has loved ones or not, one will not suffer from loneliness.

Some people claim that self-sufficiency is a myth. A person is a social animal, they declare; people cannot successfully live outside of some community. But that is not the correct way to understand true self-sufficiency. What we are referring to is a supreme sense of connection with oneself and the cosmos around oneself. This doesn’t preclude community with others, but it does prevent the excesses and shortcomings that occur when society is one’s only source of union.

Tao surrounds us. One who is with Tao is never lonely, but is an integral part of the natural cycle. In the same way that water surrounds a fish, Tao surrounds us. If we feel lonely, then it is only because we are forgetting how we are totally immersed in Tao. That is why loneliness can be an opportunity : It reminds us that we are dwelling on our own egoistic identity rather than on the support of Tao.

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Lonliness #Recovery

17
September


It is better to be wanted too much than not a all.

—Anonymous

It may seem that so many people want our time and love. Parents say we don’t call often enough. Children demand our time. Our partners say we’re gone to much. Our sponsor tells us to check in more often.

When we feel off balance by all these people, we need to stop and rest. We need to remember how lonely we were when we were using. No one wanted our time and love then! Now we’re important to others again.

You can handle all this by giving people what they need and ask for, within reason—not what you think they need, which may be way too much. Maybe you need Al-Anon, to learn to love others while taking care of yourself.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me put my time and energy to best use today. Help me find the balance I need between work, play, loving others, and self-care.

Action for the Day: When I feel I have to give too much today, I’ll stop and ask my Higher Power for guidance.

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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec #Alone #Recovery

 10
September 

Alone No More, p.252

Alcoholism was a lonely business, even though we were surrounded by people who loved us. But when our self-will had driven everybody away and our isolation became complete, we commenced to play the big shot in cheap barrooms. Failing even in this, we had to fare forth alone on the street to depend upon the charity of passers-by.

We were trying to find emotional security either by dominating or by being dependent upon others. Even when our fortunes had not totally ebbed, we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world. We still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy sort of domination or dependence.

For those of us who were like that, A.A. has a very special meaning. In this Fellowship we begin to learn right relations with people who understand us; we don’t have to be alone any more.

12 & 12, pp. 116-117

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #FrLeo #Lonliness

24
July 

LONELINESS


“This great misfortune — to be incapable of solitude.”

–Jean de la Bruyere

Today I am able to live with my loneliness. I know the difference between being “alone” and being “lonely” — and even in sobriety I experience loneliness. But today I can live with it.

When I was drinking, I had an overwhelming feeling of being lost and isolated; today it is tolerable. I can live with it. It is part of being “imperfect”. I am not God.

The reality of spirituality demands that I do not escape into a fantasy that denies my feelings of loneliness. It is part of my journey towards God. I will never appreciate perfect happiness until I rest in God. This I accept. In sobriety I have many days of happiness and moments of joy — but I am, at times, lonely — with feelings of being lost. Today I can accept this — and talk about it.

I accept that part of me will be forever lost until I rest in God.

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The Eye Opener #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Lonliness

23
July

We alcoholics feared loneliness as much as anything else on earth. Even the companionship of the bull pen was preferable to being alone. The quality of our company made no difference, for it was preferable to our own thoughts; certainly, it was not as critical. We just couldn’t stand our own company.

In AA, we were told to establish conscious contact with the Man Upstairs and we marveled at the ease with which this was accomplished after a little effort on our part. Now we are never less alone than when we are alone.

Copyright Hazelden Foundation

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #HigherPower #Recovery #Lonliness

15
July


Let there be spaces in your togetherness.

—Kahil Gilran

We all need time alone. Then we can get to know our Higher Power better too.

When we were using chemicals, we were afraid of being alone. We didn’t want to think too much.

So we got high.

Now we know we’re never totally alone. Our Higher Power is with us. We can relax. We can rest.

We can think, read, and meditate. We can our own best friend.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me use my time alone to know myself better. Help me get to know You too.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll plan to spend two hours alone to get to know myself better. I could take a long walk, or enjoy a park, or my garden. What will I do, and when?

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Solitiude

28
June
ISOLATION


”Solitude vivifies; isolation kills.”

Joseph Roux

As an introvert and an agoraphobic I relate to both sides of this quote. From an introverted point of view, I need solitude to regroup, renew, and refresh. It’s part of my process in life to have quiet time alone in order to “get it together”. When I’m alone and I read my OA literature and meditate on what I’m reading and learning, I’m able to gain new insight and a renewed sense of direction in my program.

From an agoraphobic point of view, isolation kills my ability to stick to my program. When my social anxiety cycles and it becomes difficult to get to meetings or make phone calls, I hide from the world ~ and from my friends and other OA members who can help me maintain my abstinence.

Solitude and Isolation are both active decisions. Both require some forethought. If solitude is what I need to in order to regroup, I have to make time for it. I have to take a walk, read a book, putter around my house. On the flip side, if I’m having a hard time with Program and my social anxiety is becoming unmanageable, I can either isolate and spiral down, or I can choose to take action and get to a meeting, make a phone call, or ask my sponsor to meet me for coffee. I don’t have to be alone in this program.

One day at a time…

I remember that I have control over my actions. Although I need solitude to heal, I don’t have to be alone in my disease.

~ Deb B.

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Lonliness

11
June 

SOLITUDE

“Everyone should try to find a spot to be alone.”

–Queen Juliana (Netherlands)

Greta Garbo was reported to have said, “I want to be alone.” Life brings its pressures, but we all need to find a place where we can be “alone”.

Alone – not to “think” or “do” – simply to be. We need time to simply rest in our lives. A time in the day which we can call our own, to have a visit with the most important person we have got in our lives – ourselves.

To rest in self is to experience “spiritual selfishness” – the joy of self-love.

And how much we look forward to setting aside a time just for heart and mind to center on the pathway to listening to God.

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Just For Today #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Addiction #NA

30
May

Loneliness vs. Being Alone

“Sharing with others keeps us from feeling isolated and alone.”

 Basic Text, p. 81

There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Being lonely is a state of the heart, an emptiness that makes us feel sad and sometimes hopeless. Loneliness is not always alleviated when we enter into relationships or surround ourselves with others. Some of us are lonely even in a room full of people.

Many of us came to Narcotics Anonymous out of the desperate loneliness of our addiction. After coming to meetings, we begin to make new friends, and often our feelings of loneliness ease. But many of us must contend with loneliness throughout our recovery.

What is the cure for loneliness? The best cure is to begin a relationship with a Higher Power that can help fill the emptiness of our heart. We find that when we have a belief in a Higher Power, we never have to feel lonely. We can be alone more comfortably when we have a conscious contact with a God of our understanding.

We often find deep fulfillment in our interactions with others as we progress in our recovery. Yet we also find that, the closer we draw to our Higher Power, the less we need to surround ourselves with others. We begin to find a spirit within us that is our constant companion as we continue to explore and deepen our connection with a Power greater than ourselves. We realize we are spiritually connected with something bigger than we are.

Just for today: I will take comfort in my conscious contact with a Higher Power. I am never alone.

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Just For Today #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Addiction #NA

20
 May

Coming Out Of Isolation

“We find ourselves doing and enjoying things that we never thought we would be doing.”

 Basic Text, p. 98

Active addiction kept us isolated for many reasons. In the beginning, we avoided family and friends so they wouldn’t find out we were using. Some of us avoided all nonaddicts, fearing moral backlash and legal repercussions. We belittled people who had “normal” lives with families and hobbies; we called them “uncool” believing we could never enjoy the simple pleasures of life. Eventually, we even avoided other addicts because we didn’t want to share our drugs. Our lives narrowed, and our concerns were confined to the daily maintenance of our disease.

Today, our lives are much fuller. We enjoy activities with other recovering addicts. We have time for our families. And we’ve discovered many other pursuits that give us pleasure. What a change from the past! We can live life just as fully as the “normal” people we once scorned. Enjoyment has returned to our lives, a gift of recovery.

Just for today: I can find pleasure in the simple routines of daily living.

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A Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Lonliness

20
May

Reflection For The Day

Alcoholism is called the “lonely disease”; almost without exception, alcoholics are literally tortured by loneliness. Even before the end of our drinking — before people began to shun us and we were “eighty-sixed” from bars, restaurants or people’s homes — nearly all of us felt that we didn’t quite belong. We were either shy, and dared not draw near otters, or we were noisy good fellows craving attention and approval, but rarely getting it. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. Finally, ever Bacchus betrayed us; we were struck down and left in terrified isolation. Have I begun to achieve an inner calm?

Today I Pray

May I know the tenderness of an intimate relationship with God and the calm I feel when I touch His spirit. May I translate this tenderness and calm to my relationships with others. May God deliver me from my lifelong feeling of loneliness and show me how to be a friend.

Today I Will Remember

God can teach me to be a friend.

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A Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Feelings

15
 May

Reflection For The Day
Looking back at those last desperate days before I cam to The Program, I remember more than anything the feelings of loneliness an isolation. Even when I was surrounded by people, including my own family, the sense of “aloneness” was overwhelming. Even when I tried to act sociable and wore the mask of cheerfulness, I usually felt a terrible anger of not belonging. Will I ever forget the mystery of “being alone in a crowd?”

Today I Pray

I thank God for the greatest single joy that has come to me outside of my sobriety — the feeling that I am no longer alone. May I not assume that loneliness will vanish overnight. May I know that there will be a lonely time during recovery, especially since I must pull away from my former junkie friends or drinking buddies. I pray that I may find new friends who are recovering. I thank God for the fellowship of The Program.

Today I Will Remember

I am not alone.

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Lonliness

24
April 

~ Loneliness ~

Feeling our loneliness magnifies it. Understanding our loneliness can open doors into our self-awareness, which we long for and need.

–Anthony Robbins

Before I found my Twelve Step program, I felt so lonely. I was stuck in total isolation and the feeling of loneliness felt one hundred times worse. The isolation and loneliness caused me to continually eat … and so I’d isolate more. What a vicious cycle!

When I found my recovery program, I still wanted to isolate. When going to meetings, I wanted the seat with nobody around it. I didn’t want to open my mouth to share or talk, even after the meeting. I kept coming back even though I felt alone, because I heard familiar things that really interested me. I eventually saw that most of the people in the room felt the same loneliness I did. I began to understand why I felt so lonely.

When I understood that my compulsive eating was causing me to isolate and be more lonely, a big burden was lifted off my shoulders. I finally felt some hope! Then I found that there were many other doors in the past that I should open and become more aware of. These past happenings were what started and fueled this disease of compulsive eating. I wanted to know but I was also afraid to find out.

The similarities, kindness and love I found in the rooms made it easier to look at my past. Understanding that I was not the total reason for my loneliness, I began making amends. I needed to forgive others who had harmed me and those I had harmed. I felt lighter and more self aware, and confidence began to emerge.

One Day at a Time . . .

I will remember that it’s okay and good to feel my feelings but they don’t have to rule my life. I don’t have to let loneliness magnify, causing me to eat uncontrollably to solve the problem. I’ve learned to turn things over to my Higher Power and to let them go. Looking back is the key to my self-awareness and my recovery.

~ Jeanette ~

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The Eye Opener #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Lonliness

17
April

Loneliness drives more people to the Gin Mill than almost any other single factor – perhaps even the compulsion to drink.

In the old days when our society was objectionable to all our old friends, we would from sheer boredom go to the bar just to talk to someone. Anyone’s conversation was preferable to our thoughts. The drink was frequently an incidental.

Boredom is still one of our worst enemies. If you have an AA club, there is always some guy you can try to help. Regardless of your effect on him, the experience is bound to help you and will relieve you of your blues.

Copyright Hazelden Foundation

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