One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec

IDENTITY

“Resolve to be thyself:  And know that he who finds himself loses his misery.”

–Matthew Arnold

Life before recovery was a theatrical production in which I played all parts to all audiences. I gave a performance which aimed to satisfy everyone’s requirements but my own. I proffered whatever I felt others wanted, giving no thought to my own needs. Some may say that’s a worthy attitude, but it was influenced by a desire to be accepted — not for who I am — but for whom I thought everyone wanted me to be. I used my performance to control situations and to avoid any nasty surprises. I furnished more than I could afford, often lavishing what wasn’t mine to give. Frequently I didn’t feel that I had gained the acceptance I so fervently sought, and this yielded feelings of incompetence.

To be everything to all people took time and sapped considerable quantities of energy physically, spiritually and emotionally. Often I found I couldn’t keep up with this self-inflicted regimen of people-pleasing. I began to resent the performance and gained no satisfaction from the results.

Through my recovery I realized that I had never been happy with the results of my role-playing. It had been a compulsion to seek the approval from others because I couldn’t grant myself the authorization to be me. The only person I can be is me. The only person I have a right to be is me.

One day at a time …
I give myself permission to be who I truly am: ME!

~ Sue G. 

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Today’s Gift from Hazelden #essentialsofrecovery

Misery is optional

We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can’t control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don’t like, using them as excuses for self-pity (“poor me”), or we can implement the Serenity Prayer, accepting what we can’t change and changing what we can.

In the past, we often made ourselves miserable by over-doing things. Now, how often do we continue to invite misery by thinking we ought to be able to control other people? What part do unrealistic expectations play in the creation and continuation of our misery?

When we’re hurting, we need to do something about it. A physical hurt may require a doctor; an emotional pain may call for a therapist or friend, and spiritual distress may indicate the need for more prayer and meditation, closer contact with a Higher Power. We can accept responsibility for our feelings, become willing to go to any lengths to get well, and choose not to be miserable.

Responding with misery is not on my list of options for today.

From the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

                                        Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L. © 1990 by Hazelden Foundation

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JUST FOR TODAY #essentialsofrecovery

Misery Is Optional

No one is forcing us to give up our misery.

~ Basic Text, p. 29 ~

It’s funny to remember how reluctant we once were to surrender to recovery. We seemed to think we had wonderful, fulfilling lives as using addicts and that giving up our drugs would be worse than serving a life sentence at hard labor. In reality, the opposite was true: Our lives were miserable, but we were afraid to trade that familiar misery for the uncertainties of recovery.

It’s possible to be miserable in recovery, too, though it’s not necessary. No one will force us to work the steps, go to meetings, or work with a sponsor. There is no NA militia that will force us to do the things that will free us from pain. But we do have a choice. We’ve already chosen to give up the misery of active addiction for the sanity of recovery. Now, if were ready to exchange today’s misery for even greater peace, we have a means to do just that if we really want to.

Just for today: I don’t have to be miserable unless I really want to be. Today, I will trade in my misery for the benefits of recovery.

© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc 

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Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

 Hope

“Gradually as we become more God-centered than self-centered, our despair turns to hope.” 

Basic Text, p.92

As using addicts, despair was our relentless companion. It colored our every waking moment. Despair was born of our experience in active addiction: No matter what measures we tried to make our lives better, we slid ever deeper into misery. Attempts we made to control our lives frequently met with failure. In a sense, our First Step admission of powerlessness was an acknowledgment of despair.

Steps Two and Three lead us gradually out of that despair and into new hope, the companion of the recovering addict. Having accepted that so many of our efforts to change have failed, we come to believe that there is a Power greater than ourselves. We believe this Power can – and will – help us. We practice the Second and Third Steps as an affirmation of our hope for a better life, turning to this Power for guidance. As we come to rely more and more on a Higher Power for the management of our day – to – day life, the despair arising from our long experiment with self-sufficiency disappears.

Just for today: I will reaffirm my Third Step decision. I know that, with a Higher Power in my life, there is hope. 

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrecovery

. . . he who finds himself loses his misery.

Matthew Arnold

We have lost a lot of misery. In it’s place inside us, a spirit grows. . .as love is added.

Especially self-love. In our illness, we came to hate ourselves. It was really our illness we hated. We couldn’t find ourselves. All we saw was what others saw—our illness.

In recovery, we’ve found ourselves again. We’ve found we’re good people. We’ve also come to love the world around us. We see we have something to offer this world—ourselves.

Why? Because we have found ourselves.

Prayer for the Day: I’m so glad to be alive. At times life hurts, but, in living, I found You. Thank-you Higher Power. I pray that we may always be close.

Action for the Day: I will list ten great things I’ve discovered about myself in recovery. 

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Today’s Gift #essentialsofrec

I don’t think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains.

 –Anne Frank

We don’t find the rewards of today by searching through our misfortunes. Pausing to seek out something good for everything we find bad is a step in the right direction. We may find the good outweighs the bad.
But how much more chance we will have of living a happy day if we skip over our setbacks and concentrate as much as we can on what is going well. It is smarter to look for diamonds in a diamond mine than in a garbage dump.
Let us discard our failures, using only what we have learned from them to achieve success. Looking back at missed opportunities will make it impossible for us to recognize new chances to enjoy life to the fullest. Looking only for beauty is a beautiful thing in itself.
What beauty can I see around me right now?

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JUST FOR TODAY #essentialsofrec #NA #Misery #Optional

 11
December

Misery Is Optional

No one is forcing us to give up our misery.

~ Basic Text, p. 29 

It’s funny to remember how reluctant we once were to surrender to recovery. We seemed to think we had wonderful, fulfilling lives as using addicts and that giving up our drugs would be worse than serving a life sentence at hard labor. In reality, the opposite was true: Our lives were miserable, but we were afraid to trade that familiar misery for the uncertainties of recovery.

It’s possible to be miserable in recovery, too, though it’s not necessary. No one will force us to work the steps, go to meetings, or work with a sponsor. There is no NA militia that will force us to do the things that will free us from pain. But we do have a choice. We’ve already chosen to give up the misery of active addiction for the sanity of recovery. Now, if were ready to exchange today’s misery for even greater peace, we have a means to do just that if we really want to.

Just for today: I don’t have to be miserable unless I really want to be. Today, I will trade in my misery for the benefits of recovery.

© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc

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RANDOM BIG BOOK ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS #essentialsofrec #opportunity #Recovery

“Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.”

~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, page 133 

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RANDOM BIG BOOK ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS #essentialsofrec #BigBook #Misery

“Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence.”

~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, The Family Afterward, page 133

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RANDOM BIG BOOK ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS #essentialsofrec #BigBook #Recovery #AA

“We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it is clear that we made our own misery. God didn't do it.”

~ Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th edition, The Family Afterward, page 133 

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Today’s Gift from Hazelden #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Misery

12
October

Misery is optional

We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can’t control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don’t like, using them as excuses for self-pity (“poor me”), or we can implement the Serenity Prayer, accepting what we can’t change and changing what we can.

In the past, we often made ourselves miserable by over-doing things. Now, how often do we continue to invite misery by thinking we ought to be able to control other people? What part do unrealistic expectations play in the creation and continuation of our misery?

When we’re hurting, we need to do something about it. A physical hurt may require a doctor; an emotional pain may call for a therapist or friend, and spiritual distress may indicate the need for more prayer and meditation, closer contact with a Higher Power. We can accept responsibility for our feelings, become willing to go to any lengths to get well, and choose not to be miserable.

Responding with misery is not on my list of options for today.

From the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L. © 1990 by Hazelden Foundation

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Identity

25
July 

IDENTITY


“Resolve to be thyself: And know that he who finds himself loses his misery.”

–Matthew Arnold

Life before recovery was a theatrical production in which I played all parts to all audiences. I gave a performance which aimed to satisfy everyone’s requirements but my own. I proffered whatever I felt others wanted, giving no thought to my own needs. Some may say that’s a worthy attitude, but it was influenced by a desire to be accepted — not for who I am — but for whom I thought everyone wanted me to be. I used my performance to control situations and to avoid any nasty surprises. I furnished more than I could afford, often lavishing what wasn’t mine to give. Frequently I didn’t feel that I had gained the acceptance I so fervently sought, and this yielded feelings of incompetence.

To be everything to all people took time and sapped considerable quantities of energy physically, spiritually and emotionally. Often I found I couldn’t keep up with this self-inflicted regimen of people-pleasing. I began to resent the performance and gained no satisfaction from the results.

Through my recovery I realized that I had never been happy with the results of my role-playing. It had been a compulsion to seek the approval from others because I couldn’t grant myself the authorization to be me. The only person I can be is me. The only person I have a right to be is me.

One day at a time …

I give myself permission to be who I truly am: ME!

~ Sue G.

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Today’s Gift from Hazelden #essentialsofrec #Pain #Misery #Miracle

24
June

Don’t quit five minutes before the miracle happens.

— Anonymous

When we came into the Program, most of us had very little to show for our lives. We believed in nothing. We had experienced great disappointments. The greedy creditor that was our addiction had stripped away everything of meaning to us. We were left with nothing but pain and misery.

Now we hear incredible stories of recovery. People tell how, by following certain simple instructions and honestly working a Program, they were freed from the grasp of their addiction.

Every once in awhile we hear a story that sounds remarkably like our own. We are told that through work and the help of a Higher Power, we too can receive a miracle.

The most important miracle I can expect and count on each day is the freedom from my addiction. I can trust that if I stay close to the Program, the miracle will be repeated, one day at a time.

From the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

Easy Does It © 1999 by Hazelden Foundation

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