Sixteen Relapse Points To Watch For Over Christmas #essentailsofrec #Recovery #Relapse

In the run up to Christmas these are points worth noting.

1. Exhaustion - Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty - Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience - I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right.

4. Argumentative - No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression - All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration - Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3.

7. Self-pity - Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. Cockiness - Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others - Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines - Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, AA contact, daily inventory, meetings - - to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals - May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic relapse.

13. Wanting too much - Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude - Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." - Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence - A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members.



-- Akron Intergroup News, December 1998

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Happy Fourth Of July - Independence Day

Happy Independence Day To All Of Our American Visitors In Recovery And Not In Recovery.

An interesting piece on Alcoholism and A.A. #essentialsofrec #Recovery #AA

31
March


ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: MUCH MORE THAN YOU WANTED TO KNOW
Myself I am a stalwart of Alcoholics Anonymous. Because I believe without them I would have been in very serious trouble with my life; had I survived at all that is. So I am not advocating these studies, agreeing with them or giving any opinions on them. I am merely posting so that you guys can make your own minds up. 

I 'm not sure if I agree with a lot of what is being said in this study but it makes interesting reading nonetheless. Check it out here.

There is another study to be found here  on  Alcohol and Alcoholism. Again do not shoot the messenger. Draw your own conclusions those of you who are interested.

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The Secret Written by Ralph S. Cushman #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Prayer

24
March


I met God in the morning

When my day was at its best,

And his presence came like sunrise

Like a glory in my breast.




All day long the Presence lingered,

All day long he stayed with me,

And we sailed in perfect calmness

O’er a very troubled sea.




Other ships were blown and battered,

Other ships were sore distressed,

But the winds that seemed to drive them

Brought to us a peace and rest.




Then I thought of other mornings,

With a keen remorse of mind,

When I too had loosed the moorings,

With the Presence left behind.




So I think I know the secret,

Learned from many a troubled way:

You must seek him in the morning

If you want him through the day!

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Happy Saint Patrick's Day 2015 #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Patrick's

Happy Saint Patrick's Day 2015

 

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WHO'S SITTING NEXT TO YOU? #essentialsofrec #Recovery #AA

March 1991


I know who you are. You are "X" who attends the ABC Meeting

at the XYZ Club where AA's meet in Anywhere, U.S.A.


I saw you there the other night at the eight o'clock meeting.

I don't know how long you've been clean, but I know you've been

coming around for a while because you spoke to a lot of people

who knew you. I wasn't one of them.


You don't know who I am. I wandered into your meeting place

alone the other night, a stranger in a strange town. I got a cup of

coffee, and sat down by myself. You didn't speak to me.




Oh, you saw me. You glanced my way, but you didn't recognize

me, so you quickly averted your eyes and sought out a familiar face.

I sat there through the meeting.




It was okay, a slightly different format but basically the same

kind of meeting as the one I go to at home.




The topic was gratitude. You and your friends spoke about how

much AA means to you. You talked about the camaraderie in your

meeting place. You said how much the people there had helped you

when you first came through the door how they extended the hand

of friendship to make you feel welcome, and asked you to come back.

And I wondered where they had gone, those nice people who made

your entrance so welcoming and so comfortable.




You talked about how the newcomer is the life blood of AA. I

agree, but I didn't say so. In fact, I didn't share in your meeting.

I signed my name in the book that was passed around, but the

chairperson didn't refer to it. He only called on those people in the

room whom he knew. So who am I? You don't know, because you didn't

bother to find out. Although yours was a closed meeting, you didn't

even ask if I belonged there.




It might have been my first meeting. I could have been full of

fear and distrust, knowing AA wouldn't work any better than

anything else I'd tried, and I would have left convinced that I

was right. I might have been suicidal, grasping at one last straw,

hoping someone would reach out and pull me from the pit of loathing

and self-pity from which, by myself, I could find no escape.




I might have been a student with a tape recorder in my pocket,

assigned to write a paper on how AA works - someone who shouldn't

have been permitted to sit there at all but could have been directed

to an open meeting to learn what I needed to know.




Or I could have been sent by the courts, wanting to know more, but

afraid to ask. It happens that I was none of the above.




I was just an ordinary addict with a few years of clean living in AA who

was traveling and was in need of a meeting.




My only problem that night was that I'd been alone with my own mind

too long. I just needed to touch base with my AA family.




I know from past experience that I could have walked into your

meeting place smiling, stuck out my hand to the first person I saw

and said, "Hi. My name is - . I'm an alcoholic from - ."If I'd felt like

doing that, I probably would have been warmly welcomed. You would

have asked me if I knew Old So-and-so from my state, or you might

have shared a part of your drunk-a-log that occurred in my part of

the country. Why didn't I? I was hungry, lonely, and tired. The only

thing missing was angry, but three out of four isn't a good place for

me to be.




So I sat silently through your meeting, and when it was over I

watched enviously as all of you gathered in small groups, talking

to one another the same way we do in my home town.




You and some of your friends were planning a meeting after the

meeting at a nearby coffee shop. By this time I had been silent too

long to reach out to you. I stopped by the bulletin board to read the

notices there, kind of hanging around without being too obvious,

hoping you might ask if I wanted to join you, but you didn't.



As I walked slowly across the parking lot to my car with the

out-of-state license plates you looked my way again. Our eyes

met briefly and I mustered a smile. Again, you looked away.

I buckled my seat belt, started the car, and drove to the motel

where I was staying.



As I lay in my bed waiting for sleep to come, I made a gratitude

list. You were on it, along with your friends at the meeting place.

I knew that you were there for me, and that I needed you far more

than you needed me. I knew that if I had needed help, and had asked

for it, you would have gladly given it. But I wondered . . . what if I hadn't

been able to ask?


I know who you are.


Do you remember me? 

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I Stand by the Door By Sam Shoemaker #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #Poem

  1
March

I Stand by the Door

By Sam Shoemaker (from the Oxford Group)

I stand by the door.
I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out.
The door is the most important door in the world -
It is the door through which men walk when they find God.
There is no use my going way inside and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where the door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind men,
With outstretched, groping hands,
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it.
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for men to find that door - the door to God.
The most important thing that any man can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands
And put it on the latch - the latch that only clicks
And opens to the man's own touch.
Men die outside the door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter.
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live on the other side of it - live because they have not found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him.
So I stand by the door.

Go in great saints; go all the way in -
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics.
It is a vast, roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in.
Sometimes venture in a little farther,
But my place seems closer to the opening.
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them;
For God is so very great and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia
And want to get out. 'Let me out!' they cry.
And the people way inside only terrify them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled.
For the old life, they have seen too much:
One taste of God and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving - preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door
But would like to run away. So for them too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not yet even found the door.
Or the people who want to run away again from God.
You can go in too deeply and stay in too long
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him and know He is there,
But not so far from men as not to hear them,
And remember they are there too.
Where? Outside the door -
Thousands of them. Millions of them.
But - more important for me -
One of them, two of them, ten of them.
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.

'I had rather be a door-keeper
So I stand by the door. 

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May the light of your soul guide you #essentialsofrecovery.com #recovery #Poetry

   1
March

May the light of your soul guide you.
May the light of your soul bless the work
You do with the secret love and warmth of your heart.
May you see in what you do the beauty of your own soul.
May the sacredness of your work bring healing, light and renewal to those
Who work with you and to those who see and receive your work.
May your work never weary you.
May it release within you wellsprings of refreshment, inspiration and excitement.
May you be present in what you do.
May you never become lost in the bland absences.
May the day never burden you.
May dawn find you awake and alert, approaching your new day with dreams,
Possibilities and promises.
May evening find you gracious and fulfilled.
May you go into the night blessed, sheltered and protected.
May your soul calm, console and renew you.


(Poem by John O'Donohue, 1956 - 2008)

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Co-Dependency Outlined #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Dependency

 13
February

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A study Carried Out on Which Drugs Are most Harmful #essentialsofrecovery #Drugs #harm

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What children see when you're drinking. #essentialsofrecovery.com #recovery #alcoholism

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The Quest of Gimmesome Roy #essentialsofrecovery #Addiction #Poem #Addiction #NA

 15

December

THE PERFECT HIGH - or - The Quest of Gimmesome Roy 

By Shel Silverstein

There once was a boy named Gimmesome Roy. He was nothing like me or you.
'Cause laying back and getting high was all he cared to do.
As a kid, he sat in the cellar, sniffing airplane glue.
And then he smoked bananas -- which was then the thing to do.
He tried aspirin in Coca-Cola, breathed helium on the sly,
And his life was just one endless search to find that perfect high.
But grass just made him want to lay back and eat chocolate-chip pizza all night,
And the great things he wrote while he was stoned looked like shit in the morning light.
And speed just made him rap all day, reds just laid him back,
And Cocaine Rose was sweet to his nose, but the price nearly broke his back.
He tried PCP and THC, but they didn't quite do the trick,
And poppers nearly blew his heart and mushrooms made him sick.
Acid made him see the light, but he couldn't remember it long.
And hashish was just a little too weak, and smack was a lot too strong,
And Quaaludes made him stumble, and booze just made him cry,
Till he heard of a cat named Baba Fats who knew of the perfect high.

Now, Baba Fats was a hermit cat who lived up in Nepal,
High on a craggy mountaintop, up a sheer and icy wall.
"But hell," says Roy, "I'm a healthy boy, and I'll crawl or climb or fly,
But I'll find that guru who'll give me the clue as to what's the perfect high."
So out and off goes Gimmesome Roy to the land that knows no time,
Up a trail no man could conquer to a cliff no man could climb.
For fourteen years he tries that cliff, then back down again he slides
Then sits -- and cries -- and climbs again, pursuing the perfect high.
He's grinding his teeth, he's coughing blood, he's aching and shaking and weak,
As starving and sore and bleeding and tore, he reaches the mountain peak.
And his eyes blink red like a snow-blind wolf, and he snarls the snarl of a rat,
As there in perfect repose and wearing no clothes -- sits the godlike Baba Fats.

"What's happening, Fats?" says Roy with joy, "I've come to state my biz.
I hear you're hip to the perfect trip. Please tell me what it is.
For you can see," says Roy to he, "that I'm about to die,
So for my last ride, Fats, how can I achieve the perfect high?"
"Well, dog my cats!" says Baba Fats. "here's one more burnt-out soul,
Who's looking for some alchemist to turn his trip to gold.
But you won't find it in no dealer's stash, or on no druggist's shelf.
Son, if you would seek the perfect high -- find it in yourself."

"Why, you jive motherfucker!" screamed Gimmesome Roy, "I've climbed through rain and sleet,
I've lost three fingers off my hands and four toes off my feet!
I've braved the lair of the polar bear and tasted the maggot's kiss.
Now, you tell me the high is in myself. What kind of shit is this?
My ears 'fore they froze off," says Roy, "had heard all kind of crap,
But I didn't climb for fourteen years to listen to that sophomore rap.
And I didn't crawl up here to hear that the high is on the natch,
So you tell me where the real stuff is or I'll kill your guru ass!"

"Ok, OK," says Baba Fats, "you're forcing it out of me.
There is a land beyond the sun that's known as Zaboli.
A wretched land of stone and sand where snakes and buzzards scream,
And in this devil's garden blooms the mystic Tzu-Tzu tree.
And every ten years it blooms one flower as white as the Key West sky,
And he who eats of the Tzu-Tzu flower will know the perfect high.
For the rush comes on like a tidal wave and it hits like the blazing sun.
And the high, it lasts a lifetime and the down don't ever come.
But the Zaboli land is ruled by a giant who stands twelve cubits high.
With eyes of red in his hundred heads, he waits for the passers-by.
And you must slay the red-eyed giant, and swim the River of Slime,
Where the mucous beasts, they wait to feast on those who journey by.
And if you survive the giant and the beasts and swim that slimy sea,
There's a blood-drinking witch who sharpens her teeth as she guards that Tzu-Tzu tree."
"To hell with your witches and giants," laughs Roy. "To hell with the beasts of the sea.
As long as the Tzu-Tzu flower blooms, some hope still blooms for me."
And with tears of joy in his snow-blind eye, Roy hands the guru a five,
Then back down the icy mountain he crawls, pursuing that perfect high.

"Well, that is that," says Baba Fats, sitting back down on his stone,
Facing another thousand years of talking to God alone.
"It seems, Lord", says Fats, "it's always the same, old men or bright-eyed youth,
It's always easier to sell them some shit than it is to give them the truth."

The Simple Approach to the 12 Steps! #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #Steps

  2
December

• There's a power that will kill me.

• There's a power that wants me to live.

• Which do I want? (If you want to die, stop here. If you want to live, go on.)

• Using examples from your own life, understand that selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear control your actions.

• Tell all your private, embarrassing secrets to another person.

• Decide whether or not you want to live that way any more.

• If you want your life to change, ask a power greater than yourself to change it for you. (If you could have changed it yourself, you would have long ago.)

• Figure out how to make right all the things you did wrong.

• Fix what you can without causing more trouble in the process.

• Understand that making mistakes is part of being human (When you make a mistake, fix it, immediately if you can.)

• Ask for help to treat yourself and others the way you want your higher power to treat you.

• Don't stop doing 1 through 11, and Pass It On!!

~ Author Unknown

Sixteen relapse symptoms to watch out for this Christmas

In the run up to Christmas these are points worth noting.

1. Exhaustion - Allowing oneself to become overly tired; usually associated with work addiction as an excuse for not facing personal frustrations.

2. Dishonesty - Begins with pattern of little lies; escalated to self-delusion and making excuses for not doing what's called for.

3. Impatience - I want what I want NOW. Others aren't doing what I think they should or living the way I know is right.

4. Argumentative - No point is too small or insignificant not to be debated to the point of anger and submission.

5. Depression - All unreasonable, unaccountable despair should be exposed and discussed, not repressed: what is the "exact nature" of those feelings?

6. Frustration - Controlled anger/resentment when things don't go according to our plans. Lack of acceptance. See #3.

7. Self-pity - Feeling victimized, put-upon, used, unappreciated: convinced we are being singled out for bad luck.

8. Cockiness - Got it made. Know all there is to know. Can go anywhere, including frequent visits just to hang-out at bars, boozy parties.

9. Complacency - Like #8, no longer sees value of daily program, meetings, contact with other alcoholics, (especially sponsor!), feels healthy, on top of the world, things are going well. Heck may even be cured!

10. Expecting too much of others - Why can't they read my mind? I've changed, what's holding them up? If they just do what I know is best for them? Leads to feeling misunderstood, unappreciated. See #6.

11. Letting up on disciplines - Allowing established habits of recovery - meditations, prayer, spiritual reading, AA contact, daily inventory, meetings - - to slip out of our routines; allowing recovery to get boring and no longer stimulating for growth. Why bother?!

12. Using mood-altering chemicals - May have a valid medical reason, but misused to help avoid the real problems of impending alcoholic relapse.

13. Wanting too much - Setting unrealistic goals: not providing for short-term successes; placing too much value on material success, not enough on value of spiritual growth.

14. Forgetting gratitude - Because of several listed above, may lose sight of the abundant blessings in our everyday lives: too focused on # 13.

15. "It can't happen to me." - Feeling immune; forgetting what we know about the disease of alcoholism and its progressive nature.

16. Omnipotence - A combination of several attitudes listed above; leads to ignoring danger signs, disregarding warnings and advice from fellow members.


-- Akron Intergroup News, December 1998

Alcohol ‘kills 15 Australians each day’, new report finds

THE number of deaths in Australia caused by alcohol misuse has risen more than 60 per cent over the past decade, a new study shows.

Every day, 15 Australians die and 430 are hospitalised as a result of excessive alcohol use, according to the Alcohol’s Burden of Disease in Australia report funded by the Foundation for Alcohol Research and VicHealth.

You can read the report in full here.

What Is Heard At Meetings Compared To The Program Of Alcoholics Anonymous

Before taking a look at what is so often heard in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, let’s examine some of the statements made by the Authors of this Basic Text. For example:
“We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.” AA, pg. xiii

(Note: PRECISELY – “Exactly or sharply defined or stated. Minutely exact; not varying in the slightest degree from truth.” Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary – circa 1936.)
So, let’s examine the TRUTH!

“ If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may be asking – ‘What do I have to do?’ It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done.” AA, pg. 20 Sharing experience,strength and hope.

“Lack of power was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?

Well, that is exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself that will solve your problem.” AA, pg. 45

“Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered.” AA, pg. 29

There is a Spiritual Axiom that applies to recovery from alcoholism:

“Noah, an amateur, with God’s guidance, built the Ark. Professionals, with all their

smarts, built the Titanic.”

Now, let’s review what is so often “Heard” in the meetings.

Heard – “Just keep coming back. You’ll be OK.”

That, of course, is a lie. Rigorous honesty?


BB – “Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery.”

Heard - “Don’t drink and go to meetings.”

“Don’t drink” are words you would expect to hear from a non-alcoholic. If a person

knew how to “Don’t drink,” they would have no reason to go to meetings.

Heard - “Don’t drink, no matter what.”

Real alcoholics drink, no matter what.

Heard - “Don’t drink even if your ass falls off.” (How ridiculous!)

Don’t you think an untreated alcoholic would reach for a drink if their “ass started

falling off?”

BB –“Many of us felt we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible. This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it—this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.” AA, pg. 34

Heard – “I have a choice of whether or not I take a drink today.”

Then why did they come to Alcoholics Anonymous?

“Think before you drink.”

“Just think the drink through.”

BB – “The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink.” AA, pg. 24

“We are without defense against the first drink.” AA, pg. 24

“Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective defense against the first drink.” AA, pg. 43

Heard - “There is no such thing as a recovered alcoholic.”

Who were the Authors of the Basic Text for Alcoholics Anonymous?

BB – “The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism.” AA, Title Page

“We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem.” AA, pg. 17

(Note: The word “Recovered” is used ten (10) times in the Basic Text by “Recovered” alcoholics.)


Heard – “Don’t rush into taking the steps. Take your time.”

BB – “On your first visit tell him (your prospect) about the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. If he shows interest, lend him your copy of this book.” AA, pg. 94

“Suppose now you are making your second visit to a man. He has read this volume and says he is prepared to go through with the Twelve Steps of the program of recovery.” AA, pg. 96

“We, in our turn, sought the same escape with all the desperation of drowning men.” AA, pg. 28

If the newcomer doesn’t rush into taking the steps, they will most likely rush into a bar or liquor store.

Heard – “The gift of sobriety.”

Gift – a present that is given, not paid for.

BB – “Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.” AA, pg. 14

Heard – “My sponsee(s).”

BB – “That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new “prospect” that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, axes to grind, no people to please (except your Sponsor), no lectures to be endured—these are the conditions we have found most effective.” AA, pgs. 18 – 19

“Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind that accompany it. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament.

Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will soon have your “friend” admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Even though your “protégé” may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well.” AA, pgs. 92 & 93

The word “friend” is used many times in the Basic Text.

The word “prospect” is used eleven (11) times in the Basic Text.

The word “protégé” is used one (1) time in the Basic Text.

The word “sponsee” cannot be found in the Basic Text. Nor can we find the word “sponsoree.”

As a matter of fact, neither can they be found in current dictionaries.

Heard – “Who keeps us clean and sober?”

BB – “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—even alcohol. For by this time sanity has returned. AA, pg. 84

“Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.” AA, pg. 57

Yes, God will restore us to sanity where alcohol is concerned, if we take the Steps, but He doesn’t give baths.

Heard – “(1) I can’t help myself. (2) How could I possibly help anyone else?”

BB – (1) - “We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.” AA, pg. 84

(2) – “We have recovered, and have been given the power to help others.”

AA, pg. 132

Heard – “This is a selfish program.”

BB – “Selfishness – self centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.”

AA, pg. 62

“Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others.

Then only might I receive. But that would be in great measure.” AA, pg.13

“While I lay in the hospital the thought came that there were thousands of hopeless alcoholics who might be glad to have what had so freely been given me. Perhaps, I could help some of them. They in turn might work with others.” AA, pg. 14

“It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you more than you are helping him.” AA, pg. 94

(Note: A paradox of Alcoholics Anonymous. We come to Alcoholics Anonymous to save our lives and learn we must pass our message of hope on to others if we are to live. So, the Program of Alcoholics Anonymous is both selfish and it is selfless.)

Heard – “We learn to live life on life’s terms.”

BB – “Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.” AA, pg. 77

It would appear from this that we are to learn to live our life on God’s terms.

Heard – “I haven’t had a drink today so I am a complete success.”

BB – “The elimination of drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs.” AA, pg. 19

Heard – “It really doesn’t make any difference what your problem is. AA has the best program.”

BB – “The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.” AA, pg. 564

What part of “only stop drinking” do so many people not understand?

“Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.” AA, pg. 564

An AA group is for alcoholics only (Tradition Five). We all have problems other than our drinking but alcoholism is our only common problem. And the Founders of over 200 Twelve Step Programs that have nothing to do with drinking would disagree with what is “Heard.”




Heard – “Don’t make any major decisions for the first year.”

BB – “Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a)That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.

(b)That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

(c) That God could and would if He were sought.




Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and life over to God as we understood Him. AA, pg. 60




Heard - “I’m feeling pretty crappy. I need a meeting.”

BB - “I was not too well at the time, and was plagued with waves of self-pity and resentment.

This sometimes nearly drove me back to drink, but I soon found that when all

other measures failed, working with another alcoholic would save the day. Many times I have gone to my old hospital in despair. On talking to a man there, I would be amazingly lifted up and set on my feet. It is a design for living that works in rough going.” AA, pg.15




Heard – “You ought to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.”

BB – “ We (chronic alcoholics) are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.” AA, pg. 24

Why would a right thinking member of Alcoholics Anonymous direct a newcomer to sit in meetings with untreated alcoholics to listen to them “discuss” the “issues”, problems, ideas and opinions of untreated alcoholics for 90 meetings in as many days? That has proved to be a death sentence for many alcoholics.




Heard - “You are feeling emotionally disturbed? You ought to get some professional help.”

BB - “There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest.” AA, pg. 58

(Note: One of the largest fellowships today is “Emotions Anonymous.” They have found a Solution for many who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders through their adaptation of our Twelve Step program.)




Heard - “Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

BB - “The rule is we must be hard on ourselves, but always considerate of others.” AA, pg. 74




Heard - “Alcoholism is a problem of denial.”

(Note: Denial - “Refusal to admit the truth. - Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary - circa 1936.) Sure sounds like lying, doesn’t it? Alcoholics are real good at that.

BB - “Whatever the definition of the word may be, we call it plain insanity.” AA, pg. 37

“However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been

involved, we have been strangely insane.” AA, pg. 38

“Again it was the old, insidious insanity--that first drink.” AA, pg. 154

And what is the hope of Step Two? That we can find a Power greater than ourselves that could restore us to sanity.




Heard - “It is my opinion that …………………” or

“I don’t know anything about the Big Book but here is the way I do it.’

BB - “We have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem as we see it. We shall bring to the task our combined experience and knowledge. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem.” AA, pg 19

(Note: The Big Book is based solely on the experience and knowledge of the first one hundred recovered alcoholics. The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous has been unable to find any way to improve on its effectiveness since it was first published. It contains no opinions because one thing the early members learned was that opinions have the power to kill alcoholics.)




Heard – “My sponsor told me that, if in making an amend I would be harmed, I could consider myself as one of the ‘others’ in Step Nine.”

BB – “Reminding ourselves that we have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences might be.” AA, pg. 79




Heard – “Be good to yourself.”

BB – “ The rule is we must be hard on ourself, but always considerate of others.”

AA, pg. 74




Heard – “Never pray for patience. You’ll regret it if you do.”

BB – “So clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness and love.” AA, pg. 83




Heard – “Alcoholics Anonymous is a self-help program.”

BB – “We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.” AA, pg. 84

It would appear from this that it is a God-help program.




Heard – “We don’t work the steps, we just take them.”

BB – “Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. But they will always materialize if we work for them.” AA, pg. 84

“If he did not work, he would surely drink again.” AA, pg. 15

“On each of these occasions we worked with him, reviewing carefully what had happened.” AA, pg.35

“Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well.” AA, pg. 63

“It works, if we have the proper attitude and work at it.” AA, pg. 86

“Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity form drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.” AA, pg. 89

“Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives.”

AA, pg. 116

And there are more for serious students to find.




Heard – “Oh, just turn it over.”

BB – “Simple, but not easy; a price had to be paid.” AA, pg. 14




Heard – “Your Higher Power can be whatever you want It to be; a door knob, a Dr. Pepper can, a light bulb, just any old thing.

BB – “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” AA, pg. 59 (A door knob?)

“Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a Power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.” AA, pg. 45 (A Dr. Pepper can?)

“The great fact is this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective

spiritual experiences* which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward

life, toward our fellows and toward God’s universe. The central fact of

our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into

our hearts and lives in a way that is indeed miraculous. He has commenced

to accomplish those things for us that we could never do by ourselves.”

AA, pg. 25 (A light bulb?)




Heard – “This is a ‘suggested’ program. You can work it any way you want to. Just take what you like and leave the rest.”

BB – “To show others precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.” (The Big Book, that is.) AA, pg. xiii

(Note – Dr. Bob is quoted as saying, “There is no such thing as individual interpretation of the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.”)




Heard – “Your problem is you just don’t have enough faith.”

BB – “He may be an example of the truth that faith alone is insufficient. To be vital, faith must be accompanied by self sacrifice and unselfish, constructive action.” AA, pg. 93




Heard – “Making meetings is a means of spiritual growth.”

BB – “For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he didn’t work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die.” AA, pgs.14-15




Heard – “There are no ‘musts’ in Alcoholics Anonymous”

BB – “As a part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others.” AA, pg. xiii

“My friend had emphasized the absolute necessity of demonstrating these principles in all my affairs. Particularly was it imperative to work with others as he had worked with me.” AA, pg. 14

“Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must or it kills us.” AA, pg. 62

“Every day is a day when we must carry a vision of God’s will into all of our activities. ‘How can I best serve Thee—Thy will (not mine) be done.’ These are thoughts which must go with us constantly.” AA, pg. 85

(Note: According to one authority, the word “must” appears no less than 67 times in the Basic Text. Get out your Big Book and count them and see if they are right. If, to those, you add “had to” and “have to”, it gets to be a bunch. While you are at it, look for the results of the “Promises.”




Heard – “Steps Ten, Eleven & Twelve are maintenance Steps.”

BB – “We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to’ grow’ in understanding and effectiveness.” AA, pg. 84

“It is easy to let up on our spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism.

What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the ‘maintenance’ of our spiritual condition.” AA, pg. 85

So it would appear that Steps Ten, Eleven & Twelve are both “growth” Steps and “maintenance” Steps. Through working them moment by moment, day by day, we “grow” spiritually and thereby “maintain” our physical sobriety.

And what about the “understanding and effectiveness”?

BB – “Well, that is exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself that will solve your problem.” AA, pg. 45

We grow spiritually and come to understand that we do, in fact, have a Power greater than ourselves that will solve our problems and effectiveness in learning how to apply these Steps to what we consider to be a problem.




Heard – “There are no instructions for ‘sponsorship’ in the Big Book.”

What is “sponsorship?” Isn’t it working with others? What is the title of the Chapter

following, “INTO ACTION?”

BB – “Chapter 7”

“WORKING WITH OTHERS”

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” AA, pg. 60

“PRACTICAL EXPERIENCE shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics.” AA, pg. 89

Chapter 7 gives clear-cut directions on how to successfully “sponsor” alcoholics who are willing to go to any length for victory over alcohol.




Heard – “This is a journey without a destination.”

BB – “We have entered the world of the Spirit.” AA, pg. 84

The chronic alcoholic had better enter the world of the Spirit or they will return to the world of “spirits.”

(Note – SPIRITS – “Alcohol.” Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary – circa 1936.)




Heard – “Wait until they are ready. They’ll show up.”

BB – “Search out another alcoholic and try again.” AA, pg. 96

“Your job now is to be at a place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful.” AA, pg. 102

“In the chapter ‘Working With Others’ you gathered an idea of how we approach and aid others to health.” AA, pg. 153

“Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to alcoholics……..” AA, pg. 60

How can we carry something if we are sitting on our butts?




Heard – “You work your program and I’ll work my program.”

BB – “We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join brotherly and harmonious action. That is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.” AA, pg. 17




Heard – “I am powerless over people, places and things.”

It would appear that these folks are candidates for PPTA. AA is for those who declare:

BB – “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol.” AA, pg. 59




Heard – “I do Step Ten at night.” Or “I do Step Ten when I’m wrong and need to apologize to someone.”

BB – “Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear (Step Four).

When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them (Steps Six & Seven). Discuss them with someone immediately (Step Five) and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help (Step Twelve). AA, pg. 84




Heard – “Fake it until you make it.”

BB – “Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon. Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery.” AA, pg. 59




Heard - “I don’t know how it works.”

There is a chapter titled “HOW IT WORKS” and it begins with a statement as to how it works:

BB – “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” AA, pg. 58




Discussion meetings are a lot of talk.

But Recovery is a very short walk.

(The life giving Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, that is.)

If confession (Step Ten) and prayer and meditation (Step Eleven) were sufficient, we wouldn’t have so many priests in Alcoholics Anonymous.




Be a fisher of men. You catch them. He’ll clean them!

The Drunk In The Hole #essentialsofrcovery.com #Recovery #Story

The Drunk In The Hole

A drunk fell into a deep hole and couldn't get out. A wealthy businessman went

by and the drunk called out for help. The businessman threw him some money 

and told him get yourself a ladder. But the drunk could not find a ladder in this hole he had fallen into.

A doctor walked by. The drunk said, "Help, I can't get out." 

The doctor gave him drugs and said, "Take this, it will relieve the pain.

" The drunk said thanks, but when the pills ran out, he was still in the hole.

A renowned psychiatrist rode by and heard the drunks cries for

help. He stopped and said, \"How did you get there? Were you born

there? Were you put there by your parents? Tell me about yourself,

it will alleviate your sense of loneliness." So the drunk talked

with him for an hour, then the psychiatrist had to leave, but he

said he'd be back next week. The drunk thanked him, but he was

still in his hole.

A priest came by the drunk called for help. The priest gave him a

Bible and said I'll say a prayer for you. He got down on his knees

and prayed for the drunk, then left. The drunk was very grateful,

he read the Bible, but he was still stuck in that hole.

A recovered alcoholic happened to be passing by.the drunk cried

out,"Hey,please help me, I'm stuck in this hole." Right away, the

recovered alcoholic jumped in the hole with him. The drunk said,

"What are you doing? Now we're both stuck here." But the

recovered alcoholic said, "It's okay, I've been here before, I

know the way out."

Mahatma Gandhi #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #Spiritual

1. Change yourself.

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”

“As human beings, our greatness lies not so much in being able to remake the world – that is the myth of the atomic age – as in being able to remake ourselves.”

If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think then you will change how you feel and what actions you take.

2. You are in charge of your life it's your responsibility to change it.

“Nobody can hurt you without you first giving them the permission to.”


3. Forgive, resentment is like you drinking poison hoping the other person dies.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. Revenge is never the way forward.”


4. No action ? Then there will be no change.

“An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching.” You can pray and hope that the fire won't go out but unless yougetoff your ass and get a shovel full of coal it's going to go out.



5. Live in the now!

“I do not want to foresee the future. I am concerned with taking care of the present. God has given me no control over the moment following.”


6.  We are all only human.

“I claim to be a simple individual liable to err like any other fellow mortal. I own, however, that I have humility enough to confess my errors and to retrace my steps.”

“It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.”


7.  Keep on trying. Don't give up.

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”


8. See the good in people .

“I look only to the good qualities of men. Not being faultless myself, I won’t presume to probe into the faults of others.”

“Man becomes great exactly in the degree in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.”

“I suppose leadership at one time meant muscles; but today it means getting along with people.”


9. Be true to yourself.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.”

“Always aim at complete harmony of thought and word and deed. Always aim at purifying your thoughts and everything will be well.”

10. Continue to grow and evolve.

”Constant development is the law of life, and a man who always tries to maintain his dogmas in order to appear consistent drives himself into a false position.”

Canadian? Looking For AA in Ontario? - Check Out this Site

A  friend of mine (Hugh H.) in the fellowship is webmaster for the AAlondon.org website. It contains all the information you might require for achieving and maintaining sobriety in the London Ontario Region. I would advise that you perhaps check it out if you live in that neck of the woods.

If Life is a Game, These are the Rules #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #12x12 #Steps

12 Steps Simplified!

1. There's a power that will kill me. (Booze or other drug)

2. There's a power that wants me to live. (God as you understand him/her. Higher Power)

3. Which do I want? (If you want to die, stop here. If you want to live, go on.)

4. Using examples from your own life, understand that selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, 
and fear control your actions.

5. Tell all your private, embarrassing secrets to another person.

6. Decide whether or not you want to live that way any more.

7. If you want your life to change, ask a power greater than yourself to change it for you. (If you could have changed it yourself, you would have long ago.)

8. Figure out how to make right all the things you did wrong.

9. Fix what you can without causing more trouble in the process.

10. Understand that making mistakes is part of being human (When you make a mistake, fix it, immediately if you can.)

11. Ask for help to treat yourself and others the way you want your higher power to treat you.

12. Don't stop doing 1 through 11, and Pass It On!!

~ Author Unknown