A DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

Reflection for the Day

What causes slips? What happens to a person who apparently seems to understand and live the way of the Program, yet decides to go out again? What can I do to keep this from happening to me? Is there any consistency among those who slip, any common denominators that seem to apply? We can each draw our own conclusions, but we learn in the Program that certain inactions will all but guarantee an eventual slip. When a person who has slipped is fortunate enough to return to the Program, do I listen carefully to what he or she says about the slip?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power—if I listen—show me if I am setting myself up to get high again. May I glean from the experiences of others that the reasons for such a lapse of resolve or such an accident of will most often stem from what I have not done rather than from what I have done. May I “keep coming back” to meetings.

Today I Will Remember

Keep coming back.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

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Reflection for the Day

If we don’t want to slip, we’ll avoid slippery places. For the alcoholic, that means avoiding old drinking haunts; for the overeater, that means by-passing a once-favorite pastry shop; for the gambler, that means shunning poker parties and racetracks. For me, certain emotional situations can also be slippery places; so can indulgence of old ideas such as a well-nourished resentment that is allowed to build to explosive proportions. Do I carry the principles of the Program with me wherever I go?

Today I Pray

May I learn not to test myself too harshly by “asking for it,” by stopping in at the bar or the bakery or the track. Such “testing” can be dangerous, especially if I am egged on, not only by a thirst or an appetite or a craving for the old object of my addictions, but by others still caught in addiction whose moral responsibility has been reduced to zero.

Today I Will Remember

Avoid slippery places.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

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“In spite of (a) great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, Forward to the Third Edition, 1976.


Today, I will not diminish or dismiss the enormity of my personal recovery by thinking that mine is insignificant among the millions of others who have found recovery in the Program. The words of the Big Book empower us and our recovery by telling us that our own and another person’s hope begins one-to-one when two alcoholics talk to each other and share their experience, strength and hope. In turn, the alcoholic whose recovery began by talking to another alcoholic passes onto yet another alcoholic his own experience, strength and hope. Today, I embrace with gratitude and humility the significance of my recovery along with those millions of others because, without my experience, strength and hope to pass on to someone else, our Fellowship will not increase in size, span – or power in its message of reconciliation and redemption. And our common journey continues. 

Step by step. – Chris M., 2014

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A.A. Thought For The Day

We can depend on those members of any group who have gone all out
for the program. They come to meetings. They work with other
alcoholics. We don’t have to worry about their slipping. They’re loyal
members of the group. I’m trying to be a loyal member of the group.
When I’m tempted to take a drink, I tell myself that if I did I’d be letting
down the other members who are the best friends I have. Am I going to
let them down, if I can help it?

Meditation For The Day
Wherever there is true fellowship and love between people, God’s spirit
is always there as the Divine Third. In all human relationships, the
Divine Spirit is what brings them together. When a life is changed
through the channel of another person, it is God, the Divine Third, who
always makes the change, using the person as a means. The moving
power behind all spiritual things, all personal relationships between
people is God, the Divine Third, who is always there. No personal
relationships can be entirely right without the presence of God’s spirit.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be used as a channel by God’s spirit. I pray that I may
feel that the Divine Third is always there to help me.

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The “Slipper” Needs Understanding, p. 99

“Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be ‘cured’ of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years–then the member is seen no more. Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can’t or won’t let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer–well, this combination adds up to slips.

“Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips–sometimes they are utterly controlling.”

Talk, 1960

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Reflection For The Day
Still another common thread we invariably see among slippers is that many of them felt dissatisfaction with today. “I forgot we live one day at a time,” or “I began to plan results, not just plan.” They seemed to forget that all we have is Now. Life continues to get better for them and, as many of us do, they forgot how bad it had been. They began to think, instead, of how dissatisfying it was compared to what it could be. Do I compare today with yesterday, realizing, by that contrast, what great benefits and blessings I have today?

Today I Pray
If I am discouraged with today, may I remember the sorrow and hassles of yesterday. If I am impatient for the future, let me appreciate today and how much better it is than the life i left behind. May I never forget the principle of “one day at a time.”

Today I Will Remember
The craziness of yesterday

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Relapse

“There will be times, however, when we really feel like using. We want to run, and we feel lousy We need to be reminded of where we came from and that it will be worse this time. This is when we need the program the most.”

~ Basic Text, p. 78 

If we’re contemplating a relapse, we should think our using through to the bitter ends. For many of us, those ends would include severe medical problems, imprisonment, or even death. How many of us have known people who relapsed after many years clean, only to die from their disease?

But there is a death that accompanies a return to active addiction that may be worse than physical death. That is the spiritual death we experience when we are separated from our Higher Power. If we use, the spiritual relationship we have nurtured over the years will weaken and perhaps disappear. We will feel truly alone.

There is no doubt that we have periods of darkness in our recovery. There is only one way we can make it through those troubling times: with faith. If we believe that our Higher Power is with us, then we know that all will be well.

No matter how badly we may feel in our recovery, a relapse is never the answer. Together, we find recovery. If we stay clean, the darkness will lift and we will find a deeper connection to our Higher Power.

Just for today: I thank my Higher Power for the gift of NA. I know that relapse is not the way out. Whatever challenges I face, I will face them with the God of my understanding.

© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc

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 Page 52

To Guard Against a Slip

Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth.

It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. These are facts out of our experience.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 70 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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Reflection For The Day

Time after time, we learn in The Program, newcomers try to keep to themselves “shoddy facts” about their lives.  Trying to avoid the humbling experience of the Fifth Step, they turn to a seemingly easier and softer way.  Almost invariably, they slip.  Having persevered with the rest of The Program, they then wonder why they fell.  The probable reasons is they they completed their housecleaning.  They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock.  Have I admitted to God, to myself, and to another human being the exact nature of my wrongs?

Today I Pray

That I may include all of the sleaziness of my past, my cruelties and my dishonesty, in a complete moral inventory of myself.  May I hold back nothing out of shame or pride, for the “exact nature” of my wrongs means just that — a thorough and exact recounting of past mistakes and character flaws.  We have been provided with an appropriate “dumping-ground.”  May I use it as it was intended.  May all my throw-sways, the trash and outgrown  costumes of the past, be foundation “fill” on which to build a new life.

Today I Will Remember

Trash can be a foundation for treasures. 

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Reflection for the Day

In almost every instance, the returned slipper says, “I stopped going to meetings,” or “I got fed up with the same old stories and the same old faces,” or “My outside commitments were such that I had to cut down on meetings,” or “I felt I’d received the optimum benefits from the meetings, so I sought further help from more meaningful activities.” In short, they simply stopped going to meetings. A saying I’ve heard in the Program hits the nail on the head: “Them which stops going to meetings are not present at meetings to hear about what happens to them that stops going to meetings.” Am I going to enough meetings for me?

Today I Pray

God keep me on the track of the Program. May I never be too tired, too busy, too complacent, too bored to go to meetings. Almost always those complaints are reversed at a meeting if I will just get myself there. My weariness dissipates in serenity. My busyness is reduced to its rightful proportion. My complacency gives way to vigilance again. And how can I be bored in a place where there is so much fellowship and joy?

Today I Will Remember

Attend the meetings.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

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The “Slipper” Needs Understanding, p. 99

“Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be ‘cured’ of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years–then the member is seen no more. Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can’t or won’t let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer–well, this combination adds up to slips.

“Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips–sometimes they are utterly controlling.”

Talk, 1960 

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The “Slipper” Needs Understanding, p. 99

“Slips can often be charged to rebellion; some of us are more rebellious than others. Slips may be due to the illusion that one can be ‘cured’ of alcoholism. Slips can also be charged to carelessness and complacency. Many of us fail to ride out these periods sober. Things go fine for two or three years–then the member is seen no more. Some of us suffer extreme guilt because of vices or practices that we can’t or won’t let go of. Too little self-forgiveness and too little prayer–well, this combination adds up to slips.

“Then some of us are far more alcohol-damaged than others. Still others encounter a series of calamities and cannot seem to find the spiritual resources to meet them. There are those of us who are physically ill. Others are subject to more or less continuous exhaustion, anxiety, and depression. These conditions often play a part in slips–sometimes they are utterly controlling.”
Talk, 1960 

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Quantity or Quality, p. 11

“About this slip business–I would not be too discouraged. I think you are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or other, the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only asking us to try to be. That, you surely are doing, and have been doing. So I would not stay away from A.A. through any feeling of discouragement or shame. It’s just the place you should be. Why don’t you try just as a member? You don’t have to carry the whole A.A. on your back, you know!

“It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also the quality that counts.

“Above all, take it one day at a time.”

Letter, 1958 

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrecovery

It is frequently distressing to observe the attitude of the slipee when he sobers up and endeavors to get back on the Program. Some apparently think it was something to be expected, others feel that it was a necessary part of their alcoholic education and that their slip makes them full-fledged members. Still others take the attitude of “So I slipped, well, what the hell of it?”

They ignore entirely the fact that they have injured AA, as well as themselves. And how about the guys who had to neglect new men, possibly, in order to sober them up?

Published by Hazelden 

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GLAMORIZING

I’m slipping when I begin to remember more of the good times than the bad.

~ Anonymous ~

We must keep our memories of the years before the Program in proper perspective. By the grace of God the compulsion was released from us. However, the addiction was not; it is always waiting for us to lower our guard. A danger sign we watch for is the voice that rewrites our past history.

The scenes we remember are parties, new partners, romance, laughter, music, sex, ballgames, intimate conversations, poolside play, Sunday brunch, getting ready to go out and “party hearty.” Seldom do we remember the bleary-eyed mornings, the waking up with horrible strangers, the embarrassments, the lost jobs, wrecked cars, wet beds, the toilet-hugging, the divorce that broke our hearts.

When my addiction talks to me about the good times, I need to remember “the rest of the story.”

©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

People who have had a slip are ashamed of themselves—sometimes so ashamed that they fear to go back to A A. They develop the old inferiority complex and tell themselves that they are no good, that they have let down their friends in AA., that they are hopeless, and that they can never make it. This state of mind is perhaps worse than it was originally. They have probably been somewhat weakened by their slip. But their A.A. training cannot ever be entirely lost. They always know they can go back if they want to. They know there is still God’s help for them if they will again ask for it. Do I believe that I can never entirely lose what I have learned in A.A?

Meditation for the Day

Nobody entirely escapes temptation. You must expect it and be ready for it when it comes. None of us is entirely safe. You must try to keep your defenses up by daily thought and prayer. That is why we have these daily meditations. You must be able to recognize temptation when it comes. The first step toward conquering temptation always is to see it clearly as temptation and not to harbor it in your mind. Dissociate yourself from it, put it out of your mind as soon as it appears. Do not think of excuses for yielding to it. Turn at once to the Higher Power for help.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be prepared for whatever temptation may come to me. I pray that I may see it clearly and avoid it with the help of God.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

In spite of all we have learned in A.A., our old way of thinking comes back on us, sometimes with overwhelming force, and occasionally some of us have slips. We forget or refuse to call on the Higher Power for help. We seem to deliberately make our minds a blank so far as A.A. training goes, and we take a drink. We eventually get drunk. We are temporarily right back where we started from. Those who have had slips say unanimously that they were no fun. They say A.A. had taken all the pleasure out of drinking. They knew they were doing the wrong thing. The old mental conflict was back in full force. They were disgusted with themselves. Am I convinced that I can never get anything more out of drinking?

Meditation for the Day

Give something to those who are having trouble, to those whose thoughts are confused, something of your sympathy, your prayers, your time, your love, your thought, your self. Then give of your own confidence, as you have had it given to you by the grace of God. Give of yourself and of your loving sympathy. Give your best to those who need it and will accept it. Give according to need, never according to deserts. Remember that the giving of advice can never take the place of giving of yourself.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that as I have received, so may I give. I pray that I may have the right answer for those who are confused.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

The thoughts that come before having a slip are often largely subconscious. It is a question whether or not our subconscious minds ever become entirely free from alcoholic thoughts as long as we live. For instance, some of us dream about being drunk when we are asleep, even after several years of sobriety in A.A. During the period of our drinking days, our subconscious minds have been thoroughly conditioned by our alcoholic way of thinking and it is doubtful if they ever become entirely free of such thoughts during our lifetime. But when our conscious minds are fully conditioned against drinking, we can stay sober and our subconscious minds do not often bother us. Am I still conditioning my conscious mind?

Meditation for the Day

Having sympathy and compassion for all who are in temptation, a condition that we are sometimes in, we have a responsibility toward them. Sympathy always includes responsibility. Pity is useless because it does not have a remedy for the need. But wherever our sympathy goes, our responsibility goes too. When we are moved with compassion, we should go to the one in need and bind up his wounds as best we can.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have sympathy for those in temptation. I pray that I may have compassion for others’ trials.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

We have slips in A.A. It has been said these are not slips but premeditated drunks, because we have to think about taking a drink before we actually take one. The thought always comes before the act. It is suggested that people should always get in touch with an A.A. before taking that first drink. The failure to do so makes it probable that they had decided to take the drink anyway. And yet the thoughts that come before taking a drink are often largely subconscious. People usually don’t know consciously what made them do it. Therefore, the common practice is to call these things slips. Am I on guard against wrong thinking?

Meditation for the Day

“The eternal God is thy refuge.” He is a sanctuary, a refuge from the cares of life. You can get away from the misunderstanding of others by retiring into your own place of meditation. But from yourself, from your sense of failure, your weakness, your shortcomings, whither can you flee? Only to the eternal God, your refuge, until the immensity of His spirit envelops your spirit and it loses its smallness and weakness and comes into harmony again with His.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may lose my limitations in the immensity of God’s love. I pray that my spirit may be in harmony with His spirit.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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A.A. Thought for the Day

The A. A. way is the way of sobriety, and yet there are slips. Why do these slips occur? Why don’t we all accept A.A. and stay sober from then on? There are many reasons, but it has been proved without exception that once we have become alcoholics we can never drink successfully again. This has never been disproved by any case we know of. Many alcoholics have tried drinking after a period of sobriety from a few days to a few years and no one that we know of has been successful in becoming a normal drinker. Could I be the only exception to this rule?

Meditation for the Day

“We are gathered together in Thy name.” First, we are gathered together, bound by a common loyalty to God and to each other. Then, when this condition has been fulfilled, God is present with us. Then, when God is there and one with us, we voice a common prayer. Then it follows that our prayer will be answered according to God’s will. Then, when our prayer is answered, we are bound together in a lasting fellowship of the spirit.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be loyal to God and to others. I pray that my life today may be lived close to His and to theirs.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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