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~ Page 64 ~

Search for Motives

Some of us clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn’t suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn’t suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations didn’t suffer, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man’s fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies.

This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can be changed only by deep and honest search of our motives and actions.

~ TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 79 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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“Pure Motives”

“We examine our actions, reactions, and motives. We often find that we’ve been doing better than we’ve been feeling.”

Basic Text, p. 42

Imagine a daily meditation book with this kind of message: “When you wake up in the morning, before you rise from your bed, take a moment for reflection. Lie back, gather your thoughts, and consider your plans for the day. One by one, review the motives behind those plans. If your motives are not entirely pure, roll over and go back to sleep.” Nonsense, isn’t it?

No matter how long we’ve been clean, almost all of us have mixed motives behind almost everything we do. However, that’s no reason to put our lives on hold. We don’t have to wait for our motives to become perfectly pure before we can start living our recovery.

As the program works its way into our lives, we begin acting less frequently on our more questionable motives. We regularly examine ourselves, and we talk with our sponsor about what we find. We pray for knowledge of our Higher Power’s will for us, and we seek the power to act on the knowledge we’re given. The result? We don’t get perfect, but we do get better.

We’ve begun working a spiritual program. We won’t ever become spiritual giants. But if we look at ourselves realistically, we’ll probably realize that we’ve been doing better than we’ve been feeling.

Just for today: I will examine myself realistically. I will seek the power to act on my best motives, and not to act on my worst. 

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~ Page 64

Search for Motives

Some of us clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn’t suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn’t suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations didn’t suffer, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man’s fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies.

This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can be changed only by deep and honest search of our motives and actions.

~ TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 79

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrec #Motives

What is the real cause?
Motivations.

Bringing her alcoholic husband home from a treatment center, a woman was dismayed when an argument ensued and he left the car in a rage. She blamed herself and their argument when he finally arrived home, DRUNK.

Seasoned veterans of alcoholic games will quickly understand that the argument had no part in “causing” the alcoholic to drink. Instead, the argument was something he started as a means of getting away from his wife. He still wanted and needed to drink.

In dealing with our compulsive illnesses, we must separate our excuses from what’s really going on. Arguments do not cause alcoholics to drink, but they can be used as convenient devices for getting our way.

I must take responsibility for my own behavior. If I have chosen sobriety, no person and no event can cause me to drink. 

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #Motives #Fr.LEo

MOTIVES


“Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.”

–Michelangelo

I must always “think big”, not in an egotistical sense but as an adventure in spirituality. When I had a small God, I always remained a small person, with small aspirations and dreams. Today I have an all-embracing inclusive God that fills the universe. Today I have hope in my dreams.

As an alcoholic I missed so much. I observed very little about myself and God’s world, people and friends became inconsequential; nothing really mattered except the desire to drink. My spiritual potential was lost in my alcoholism.

Today I am realizing my potential and I can risk in sobriety. My motto has become “go for it”. Behind my dreams is my growth. I have a sense of so much joy in the world that I wish to enthusiastically experience my life.

God, I am so grateful to be alive.

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Walk in Dry Places #essentialsofrec #Motives #Understading

Look out for the power trips
Understanding hidden motives

We can often use a lofty reason to disguise a hidden motive behind our actions. We might be seeking power over people’s lives, for example, while claiming that “we’re only out to help them.” We may argue for a point of view only to establish a position of power. Such power trips are destructive, and others usually see them for what they really are.

If we’ve really accepted the principles of the Twelve Steps, we have no need for power trips. The logic of Step Eleven, for example, is that we’ll always have the power needed to carry out what’s in line with God’s will for us. We do not have to jostle and manipulate others to establish our importance or our authority.

When we really come to terms with our own tendencies to take power trips, we’ll be able to deal with others who come on strong with their power trips. We’ll soon perceive that such threats usually fade when we refuse to resist them or be upset by them.

I’ll undoubtedly meet people today who are maneuvering for power in different situations. I will neither criticize nor oppose them. My responsibility today is to avoid any of my own tendencies to take such power trips.

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Goodness #OA #Overeaters

~ GOODNESS ~

Above all, let us never forget that an act of goodness
is in itself an act of happiness.

Count Maurice Maeterlinck

While in the disease, most of the goodness I tried to do was for ulterior motives. It was only in recovery that I learned to give unselfishly and without strings to help another. In doing so, I have found happiness beyond measure. I can create my own happiness in the service of my Higher Power and other compulsive over-eaters. I can make the promise of a “new happiness and a new freedom” come true.

One Day at a Time . . .

I will do acts of goodness.


~ Judy N. ~

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Helping Others

Motives

It may sound selfish, but you should always help others for no reason other than your own benefit. In giving assistance, guard against posing as an idealist or even a Good Samaritan. We are not saints, and our spiritual progress is interrupted the moment we begin to act more saintly than we really are.
Two things happen when we help others in the full knowledge that we are really helping only ourselves. First, we do not place the other person in a demeaning role or make him or her obligated to us. Second, we sidestep the swollen egotism that could arise if we view ourselves as rescuers.
In helping others, we are only passing on the good that has come to us. Any good action will always bring rich rewards in personal well-being. People we have helped will be grateful to us when it becomes clear that we don’t demand their gratitude. They will also be inspired to follow this example, which is the true AA spirit that became evident with the first Twelve Step calls.


I’ll look for opportunities to help others in the same way that a businessman looks for ways to increase profits. I know that I grow as a person when I help others in the right spirit.

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A DAY’S PLAN

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86 ~

Every day I ask God to kindle within me the fire of His love, so that love, burning bright and clear, will illuminate my thinking and permit me to better do His will. Throughout the day, as I allow outside circumstances to dampen my spirits, I ask God to sear my consciousness with the awareness that I can start my day over any time I choose; a hundred times, if necessary.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc

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Search for Motives

Some of us clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn’t suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn’t suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations didn’t suffer, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man’s fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies.

This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can be changed only by deep and honest search of our motives and actions.

~ TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 79 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrec #Gossip #Motives

Malicious Gossip

Honest Motives

“Without really knowing what was happening, I said something bad today about a person I secretly resented. When it occurred to me that my remark could come back to hurt me, I had a moment of panic,” an AA member said. “With little reflection, however, I realized that the more serious problem was the dishonesty that caused me to belittle somebody behind hie back!”
We are growing up when we come to see that gossip feeds on our own insecurity and self-deception. When we are unwilling to part company with gossip, we devise subtle ways to keep it in our lives. We can gossip by steering the conversation to a topic that is likely to bring revealing comments. We also gossip by reveling in lurid accounts of others’ sins and failings. We should even ask ourselves if we are gossiping when we “discuss” another member who is not living up to our ideas of true Twelve Step standards. This is often prefaced by the remark, “I don’t want to take Joe’s inventory, but…..”
We cannot live freely and happily if we practice gossip in any form. The practice may be hidden, but it leaves us with guilt, fear, and shame. We cannot gossip and be completely trustworthy and reliable.


I will truly mind my own business today. Forgiving myself for past excursions into gossip, I will say nothing about others behind their backs. If somebody has gossip to share, I will politely move to another topic.

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AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Slips #Relapse

 Page 52

To Guard Against a Slip

Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth.

It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. These are facts out of our experience.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, P. 70 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrecovery

MOTIVES

“Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish.”

–Michelangelo

I must always “think big”, not in an egotistical sense but as an
adventure in spirituality. When I had a small God, I always remained a
small person, with small aspirations and dreams. Today I have an
all-embracing inclusive God that fills the universe. Today I have hope
in my dreams.

As an alcoholic I missed so much. I observed very little about myself
and God’s world, people and friends became inconsequential; nothing
really mattered except the desire to drink. My spiritual potential was
lost in my alcoholism.

Today I am realizing my potential and I can risk in sobriety. My motto
has become “go for it”. Behind my dreams is my growth. I have a
sense of so much joy in the world that I wish to enthusiastically
experience my life.

God, I am so grateful to be alive. 

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Walk in Dry Places #essentialsofrecovery

Look out for the power trips
Understanding hidden motives


We can often use a lofty reason to disguise a hidden motive behind our actions. We might be seeking power over people’s lives, for example, while claiming that “we’re only out to help them.” We may argue for a point of view only to establish a position of power. Such power trips are destructive, and others usually see them for what they really are.
If we’ve really accepted the principles of the Twelve Steps, we have no need for power trips. The logic of Step Eleven, for example, is that we’ll always have the power needed to carry out what’s in line with God’s will for us. We do not have to jostle and manipulate others to establish our importance or our authority.
When we really come to terms with our own tendencies to take power trips, we’ll be able to deal with others who come on strong with their power trips. We’ll soon perceive that such threats usually fade when we refuse to resist them or be upset by them.
I’ll undoubtedly meet people today who are maneuvering for power in different situations. I will neither criticize nor oppose them.My responsibility today is to avoid any of my own tendencies to take such power trips. 

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WALK IN DRY PLACES #essentialsofrecovery

MALICIOUS GOSSIP

Honest Motives

“Without really knowing what was happening, I said something bad today about a person I secretly resented. When it occurred to me that my remark could come back to hurt me, I had a moment of panic,” an AA member said. “With a little reflection, however, I realized that the more serious problem was the dishonesty that caused me to belittle somebody behind his back!”

We are growing up when we come to see that gossip feeds on our own insecurity and self- deception. When we are unwilling to part company with gossip, we devise subtle ways to keep it in our lives. We can gossip by steering the conversation to a topic that is likely to bring revealing comments. We also gossip by reveling in lurid accounts of others’ sins and failings. We should even ask ourselves if we are gossiping when we “discuss” another member who is not living up to our ideas of true Twelve Step standards. This is often prefaced by the remark, “I don’t want to take Joe’s inventory, but…”

We cannot live freely and happily if we practice gossip in any form. The practice may be hidden, but it leaves us with guilt, fear, and shame. We cannot gossip and be completely trustworthy and reliable.

© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation 

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Just for today

Changing motives
“When we finally get our own selfish motives out of the way, we begin to find a peace that we never imagined possible.”

Basic Text, p. 45


––––=––––

As we examine our beliefs, our actions, and our motives in recovery, we’ll find that sometimes we do things for the wrong reasons. In our early recovery, we may have spent a great deal of money and time on people, wanting only for them to like us. Later on, we may find that we still spend money on people, but our motives have changed. We do it because we like them. Or perhaps we used to get romantically involved because we felt hollow inside and were seeking fulfillment through another person. Now our reasons for romantic involvement are based in a desire to share our already rewarding lives with an equal partner. Maybe we used to work the steps because we were afraid we’d relapse if we didn’t. Today we work the steps because we want to grow spiritually.

We have a new purpose in life today, and our changing motives reflect that. We have so much more to offer than our neediness and insecurities. We have developed a wholesomeness of spirit and a peace of mind that moves our recovery into a new realm. We extend our love and share our recovery with complete generosity, and the difference we make is the legacy we leave to those who have yet to join us.

––––=––––

Just for today: In recovery, my motives have changed. I want to do things for the right reason, not just for my personal benefit. Today, I will examine my motives.

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Search For Motives, p. 64

Some of us clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. Our families didn’t suffer, because we always paid the bills and seldom drank at home. Our business associates didn’t suffer, because we were usually on the job. Our reputations didn’t suffer, because we were certain few knew of our drinking. Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man’s fault. What real harm, therefore, had we done? No more, surely, than we could easily mend with a few casual apologies.

This attitude, of course, is the end result of purposeful forgetting. It is an attitude which can be changed only by a deep and honest search of our motives and actions.

12 & 12, p. 79 

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Service Motives

“Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers.”

~ Basic Text, p. xvi 

Our motives are often a surprise to us. In our early days of recovery, they were almost always a surprise! We’ve learned to check our motives through prayer, meditation, the steps, and talking to our sponsor or other addicts. When we find ourselves with an especially strong urge to do or have something, it’s particularly important to check our motives to find out what we really want.

In early recovery, many of us throw ourselves into service with great fervor before we have started the regular practice of motive-checking. It takes awhile before we become aware of the real reasons for our zeal. We may want to impress others, show off our talents, or be recognized and important. Now, these desires may not be harmful in another setting, expressed through another outlet. In NA service, however, they can do serious damage.

When we decide to serve NA, we make a decision to help addicts find and maintain recovery. We have to carefully check our motives in service, remembering that it’s much easier to frighten away using addicts than to convince them to stay. When we show them game-playing, manipulation, or pomposity, we present an unattractive picture of recovery. However, the unselfish desire to serve others creates an atmosphere that is attractive to the addict who still suffers.

Just for today: I will check my motives for the true spirit of service.

© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc

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Just for today #essentialsofrecovery

Changing Motives

“When we finally get our own selfish motives out of the way, we begin to find a peace that we never imagined possible.” 

Basic Text, p. 44

As we examine our beliefs, our actions, and our motives in recovery, we’ll find that sometimes we do things for the wrong reasons. In our early recovery, we may have spent a great deal of money and time on people, wanting only for them to like us. Later on, we may find that we still spend money on people, but our motives have changed. We do it because we like them. Or perhaps we used to get romantically involved because we felt hollow inside and were seeking fulfillment through another person. Now our reasons for romantic involvement are based in a desire to share our already rewarding lives with an equal partner. Maybe we used to work the steps because we were afraid we’d relapse if we didn’t. Today we work the steps because we want to grow spiritually.

We have a new purpose in life today, and our changing motives reflect that. We have so much more to offer than our neediness and insecurities. We have developed a wholesomeness of spirit and a peace of mind that moves our recovery into a new realm. We extend our love and share our recovery with complete generosity, and the difference we make is the legacy we leave to those who have yet to join us.

Just for today: In recovery, my motives have changed. I want to do things for the right reason, not just for my personal benefit. Today, I will examine my motives.

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JUST FOR TODAY #essentialsofrecovery

Service Motives

“Everything that occurs in the course of NA service must be motivated by the desire to more successfully carry the message of recovery to the addict who still suffers.”

~ Basic Text, p. xvi ~

Our motives are often a surprise to us. In our early days of recovery, they were almost always a surprise! We’ve learned to check our motives through prayer, meditation, the steps, and talking to our sponsor or other addicts. When we find ourselves with an especially strong urge to do or have something, it’s particularly important to check our motives to find out what we really want.

In early recovery, many of us throw ourselves into service with great fervor before we have started the regular practice of motive-checking. It takes awhile before we become aware of the real reasons for our zeal. We may want to impress others, show off our talents, or be recognized and important. Now, these desires may not be harmful in another setting, expressed through another outlet. In NA service, however, they can do serious damage.

When we decide to serve NA, we make a decision to help addicts find and maintain recovery. We have to carefully check our motives in service, remembering that it’s much easier to frighten away using addicts than to convince them to stay. When we show them game-playing, manipulation, or pomposity, we present an unattractive picture of recovery. However, the unselfish desire to serve others creates an atmosphere that is attractive to the addict who still suffers.

Just for today: I will check my motives for the true spirit of service.

© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc 

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