Essentials Of Recovery : Dishonesty

Created to carry the message of recovery to all addicts. Whether the addiction is alcohol, drugs, food or any other addiction the program of recovery is the same. I am a recovering alcoholic of over twenty-seven years, a day at a time of course and I believe my primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics achieve recovery. Remember seven days without a meeting makes one weak. Sign up to get emails.This Blog is NOT IN ANY WAY affiliated to either A.A. or N.A. Help to stop drinking.

Showing posts with label Dishonesty. Show all posts

Wednesday, 12 March 2025

DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrecovery

A DAY’S PLAN

On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86 ~

Every day I ask God to kindle within me the fire of His love, so that love, burning bright and clear, will illuminate my thinking and permit me to better do His will. Throughout the day, as I allow outside circumstances to dampen my spirits, I ask God to sear my consciousness with the awareness that I can start my day over any time I choose; a hundred times, if necessary.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc

Saturday, 20 April 2024

Daily Reflections #essentialsofrec #Dishonesty #Examination

SELF-EXAMINATION

. . . we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking
that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86

When said sincerely, this prayer teaches me to be truly
unselfish and humble, for even in doing good deeds I often
used to seek approval and glory for myself. By examining my
motives in all that I do, I can be of service to God and
others, helping them do what they want to do. When I put
God in charge of my thinking, much needless worry is
eliminated and I believe He guides me throughout the day.
When I eliminate thoughts of self-pity, dishonesty and
self-centeredness as soon as they enter my mind, I find
peace with God, my neighbor and myself.

Saturday, 30 March 2024

AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrec #AA #Recovery

~ Page 89 ~

Review the Day
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

We must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflections, for that would diminish our usefulness to ourselves and to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

Friday, 29 March 2024

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY #essentialsofrec #recovery #AA

Tuesday, 12 March 2024

DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Dishonesty #Self-Seeking

Wednesday, 21 February 2024

EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrec #Promise #Selfish

THE SIXTH PROMISE

We shall lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

~ Big Book

We came into the Program as experts in dishonesty, deceit, envy, and self-pity. Selfishness was an emotion that fitted us well. We were shameless in the ways we found useful in taking advantage of other people. The victims of our selfishness most often were those who loved us and tried to help us.

Our self-importance was based on unreality and was the effect of addicted behaviour. We engaged in far out thinking that reached the heights of fantasy. Our selfishness and self-centeredness developed within all of us a sick ego that turned into a powerhouse of grandiosity. The arrogance of an ego-driven addict was a drawback to willingness. In such a state of being, only miracles could help us.

In my addiction, my selfishness made me a “me first” person. In recovery, I am interested in the well-being of others. This has caused my self-interest to disappear.

©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden

Monday, 2 August 2021

Just For Today

Practicing honesty

“When we feel trapped or pressured, it takes great spiritual and emotional strength to be honest.”
Basic Text, p. 85

––––=––––

Many of us try to wiggle out of a difficult spot by being dishonest, only to have to humble ourselves later and tell the truth. Some of us twist our stories as a matter of course, even when we could just as easily tell the plain truth. Every time we try to avoid being honest, it backfires on us. Honesty may be uncomfortable, but the trouble we have to endure when we are dishonest is usually far worse than the discomfort of telling the truth.

Honesty is one of the fundamental principles of recovery. We apply this principle right from the beginning of our recovery, when we finally admit our powerlessness and unmanageability. We continue to apply the principle of honesty each time we are faced with the option of either living in fantasy or living life on its own terms. Learning to be honest isn’t always easy, especially after the covering up and deception so many of us practiced in our addiction. Our voices may shake as we test our newfound honesty. But before long, the sound of the truth coming from our own mouths settles any doubts: Honesty feels good! It’s easier living the truth than living a lie.

––––=––––

Just for today: I will honestly embrace life, with all its pressures and demands. I will practice honesty, even when it is awkward to do so. Honesty will help, not hurt, my efforts to live clean and recover.

Friday, 30 March 2018

As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrecovery

Review The Day, p. 89

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest, or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

We must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to ourselves and to others. After we making our review, we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 86

Wednesday, 29 November 2017

Today’s Gift #essentialsofrecovery

The price of dishonesty is self-destruction.

—Rita Mae Brown

There once was a woman who told her husband what she thought he wanted to hear. She told him she was happy when she wasn’t. She told him she liked his friends when she didn’t. She tried to figure out what he wanted so she could do it for him. She felt hurt when he didn’t do the same for her. She felt he should also try to read her mind and do what she wanted without her having to express it. She was scared to tell him how she really felt.

However, her pain and resentment grew so much she couldn’t stand it any longer, so she told him her true feelings. He was so used to hearing her lies that he called her a liar when she told the truth. Now she knew how much she had hurt herself by trying to please him at the cost of her own honesty and needs.

Honesty is necessary for a good relationship with anyone. When we lie to ourselves, we cannot tell the truth to others. By being honest, we open our doors to others, we trust them with our true feelings, and they love us for who we really are.

Who can I tell how I really feel today?

Thursday, 13 October 2016

Daily Reflections #essentialsofrecovery

UNREMITTING INVENTORIES

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The immediate admission of wrong thoughts or actions is a tough task for most human beings, but for recovering alcoholics like me it is difficult because of my propensity toward ego, fear and pride. The freedom the A.A. program offers me becomes more abundant when, through unremitting inventories of myself, I admit, acknowledge and accept responsibility for my wrong-doing. It is possible then for me to grow into a deeper and better understanding of humility. My willingness to admit when the fault is mine facilitates the progression of my growth and helps me to become more understanding and helpful to others.

Friday, 30 September 2016

Random Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous #essentialsofrecovery

"Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely
looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest,
self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely
our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely.
Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's.
When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in
black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to
set these matters straight."

~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, How It Works, pg. 67

Sunday, 14 August 2016

As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec

Who Is To Blame?, p. 222

At Step Four we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? Though a given situation had not been entirely our fault, we often tried to cast the whole blame on the other person involved.

We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man’s. So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67

Wednesday, 22 June 2016

Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Admit

The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works.
—St. Augustine.

We started recovering the minute we admitted we were powerless over our illness. We crossed over from dishonesty to honesty.

Often, we don’t see what power honestly has. Maybe we still aren’t sure that being honest is best for us. It is! This is why the authors of the Big Book ask us to be totally honest from the start.

Just as denial is what makes addiction work, honesty is what makes recovery work.

Honesty means self-respect. Honesty heals. Honesty let us look people in the eyes. What comfort we’ll feel as we deeper into our program.

Prayer for the Day: I pray that I’ll let go totally. I pray that I’ll keep no secrets that could put my sobriety at risk.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll read the first three pages of “How It Works” in the Big Book.

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Daily Reflections #essentialsofrec #Inventory #Recovery

13
October

UNREMITTING INVENTORIES

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The immediate admission of wrong thoughts or actions is a tough task for most human beings, but for recovering alcoholics like me it is difficult because of my propensity toward ego, fear and pride. The freedom the A.A. program offers me becomes more abundant when, through unremitting inventories of myself, I admit, acknowledge and accept responsibility for my wrong-doing. It is possible then for me to grow into a deeper and better understanding of humility. My willingness to admit when the fault is mine facilitates the progression of my growth and helps me to become more understanding and helpful to others.

Thursday, 24 September 2015

Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Gossip #Dishonesty

24
September

To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.
— Will Durant

Sometimes we say bad things about others. When we do this, it makes us look bad too.

Our friends worry what we might say about them behind their backs. They’re afraid to trust us. We become known as gossips.

The things we say about other people tell a lot about us. We are kind or unkind. We gossip or we don’t. This doesn’t mean we have to say everyone is wonderful all the time. As we work our program to see ourselves better, we begin to see other people more clearly too. We see their strong points and their weak points. But we can know these things without gossiping about them.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see others clearly, and in their best light. Let me bring out the good in others.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list the people I’m closest to at work, school, and home. I’ll think of how I talk about them to others. Am I kind?

Monday, 7 September 2015

Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Honesty #Lies

7
September

A lair needs a good memory.

— Quintilian

Many of us wasted a lot of energy trying to keep track of whom we had told what. For example, we’d tell our boss one story and our family another. Then we’d work hard to make sure they never met.

How wonderful to be done with that way of life! We now have a life based on honestly. We can now be ourselves where we go.

Our program tell us that to get sober, we must live a life of strict honesty. Honesty is our rule to get and stay sober. Life is much more simple this way. We can relax and think of the happy details of life.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to live honestly. Being honest brings me closer to You. Help me become closer to You.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll read the first three pages of Chapter Five in Alcoholics Anonymous (Third Edition). Here, I’ll learn why honesty is so important to my recovery.

Friday, 28 August 2015

Twenty-Four Hours A Day #essentialsofrec #Fear #Resentment #Inventory

28
August
A.A. Thought For The Day

“We must continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We should grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter; it should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We must not rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.” Am I checking my spiritual condition daily?

Meditation For The Day

Happiness cannot be sought directly; it is a byproduct of love and service. Service is a law of our being. With love in your heart, there is always some service to other people. A life of power and joy and satisfaction is built on love and service. Persons who hate or are selfish are going against the law of their own being. They are cutting themselves off from God and other people. Little acts of love and encouragement, of service and help, erase the rough places of life and help to make a path smooth. If we do these things, we cannot help having our share of happiness.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may give my share of love and service. I pray that I may not grow weary in my attempts to do the right thing.

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Daily Reflections #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Inventory #Step4

19
August

A FRAME OF REFERENCE

Referring to our list [inventory] again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 67

There is a wonderful freedom in not needing constant approval from colleagues at work or from the people I love. I wish I had known about this Step before, because once I developed a frame of reference, I felt able to do the next right thing, knowing that the action fit the situation and that it was the correct thing to do.

Friday, 14 August 2015

A Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Step4 #Honesty

14
August

Reflection For The Day

Step Four enables me to see myself as I really am — my characteristics, motives, attitudes and actions. I’m taught in* The Program to search out my mistakes resolutely. Where, for example, had I been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? I’m taught, also, that my deeply-rooted habit of self-justification may tempt me to “explain away” each fault as I uncover it, blaming others for my own shortcomings. Will I believe that personal honesty can achieve what superior knowledge often cannot?

Today I Pray

May I not make the Fourth Step a once-over-lightly, let’s get-it-over-with exercise in self-appraisal. May I know that, once I take this Step, I must review it again many times until it becomes, like the other eleven, a way of life for me. May I protect the value of my Fourth Step from my old habit of head-tripping and buck-passing my way out of responsibility.

Today I Will Remember

Personal honesty paves the way to recovery.

Monday, 10 August 2015

As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec #Fear #Blame #Recovery

10
August

Who Is To Blame?, p. 222

At Step Four we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened? Though a given situation had not been entirely our fault, we often tried to cast the whole blame on the other person involved.

We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man’s. So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67

Walk In Dry Places