Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions #essentialsofrec #Step5 #TwelveSteps

Step Five – “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation through the open and honest sharing of our terrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare ourselves for the following Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety.

p. 62

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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec #God #Recovery

“Admitted to God . . .”, p. 126

Provided you hold back nothing in taking the Fifth Step, your sense of
relief will mount from minute to minute. The dammed-up emotions of
years break out of their confinement, and miraculously vanish as soon
as they are exposed. As the pain subsides, a healing tranquillity takes
its place. And when humility and serenity are so combined, something
else of great moment is apt to occur.

Many an A.A., once agnostic or atheist, tells us that it was during this
stage of Step Five that he first actually felt the presence of God.
And even those who already had faith often become conscious of God
as they never were before.

12 & 12, p. 62

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Daily Reflections #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Healing

HEALING HEART AND MIND

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55

Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can
see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at
a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can
experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love
me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets
to get in the way.
It’s the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules
me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to
heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom.
I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear
to find peace.
By revealing my secrets – and thereby ridding myself of guilt

– I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking,
I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. 

What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day #essentialsofrec #Recovery #AA

A.A. Thought For The Day

Men and women keep coming into A.A., licked by alcohol, often given
up by doctors as hopeless cases, they themselves admitting they’re
helpless to stop drinking. When I see these men and women get sober
and stay sober over a period of months and years, I know that A.A.
works. The change I see in people who come into A.A. not only
convinces me that A.A. works, but it also convinces me that there
must be a Power greater than ourselves which helps us to make that
change. Am I convinced that a Higher Power can help me to change?

Meditation For The Day

Cooperation with God is the great necessity for our lives. All else
follows naturally. Cooperation with God is the result of our
consciousness of His presence. Guidance is bound to come to us as we
live more and more with God, as our consciousness becomes more and
more attuned to the great Consciousness of the universe. We must
have many quiet times when we not so much ask to be shown and led
by God, as to feel and realize His presence. New spiritual growth
comes naturally from cooperation with God.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that God may supply me with strength and show me the
direction in which He wants me to grow. I pray that these things may
come naturally from my cooperation with Him.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

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WALK IN DRY PLACES #essentialsofrec #Powerlessness #Admission

NO CONDITIONAL SOBRIETY

Admission of Powerlessness

Sobriety in AA is unconditional. This means that there’s never been a reason for drinking, no matter how bad our circumstances may become. As the AA pioneers were fond of saying, “THERE’S NOTHING THAT DRINKING WON’T MAKE WORSE.”

How do we know if we’ve been setting conditions on sobriety? It’s revealed to us in our own thinking. If we believe, for example, that a certain setback such as the ending of a relationship is just cause for drinking, we have made our sobriety conditional.

In such cases, what we need to do is clear up our own thinking on the subject. Maybe further inventory is needed, or perhaps we should let ourselves learn from the experience of others. Self-honesty is also important in getting priorities in order.

The decision to choose unconditional sobriety brings additional benefits in helping us to organize our lives. Once we completely understand that sobriety is all-important, it becomes easier to make other decisions that bear on keeping sober. We find ourselves choosing the ideas and activities that enhance sobriety, while rejecting other things that could threaten it.

I’ll never waver in a moment from my relief that I must continue to seek sobriety – unconditionally. There is nothing that could ever justify my taking a drink.

© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved.

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TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Admission

A.A. Thought for the Day

There are two important things we have to do if we want to get sober and stay sober. First, having admitted that we’re helpless before alcohol, we have to turn our alcoholic problem over to God and trust Him to take care of it for us. This means asking Him every morning for the strength to stay sober that day and thanking Him every night. It means really leaving the problem in God’s hands and not reaching out and taking the problem back to ourselves. Second, having given our drink problem to God, we must cooperate with Him by doing something about it ourselves. Am I doing these two things?

Meditation for the Day

I must prepare myself by doing each day what I can to develop spiritually and to help others to do so. God tests me and trains me and bends me to His will. If I am not properly trained, I cannot meet the test when it comes. I must want God’s will for me above all else. I must not expect to have what I am not prepared for. This preparation consists of quiet communion with God every day and gradually gaining the strength I need.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may really try to do God’s will in all my affairs. I pray that I may do all I can to help cithers find God’s will for them.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

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ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Mistakes #Admission

ADMITTING MISTAKES

“A man should never be ashamed
to own he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”
~ Alexander Pope 

Most of my life I had spent in blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never learned to take responsibility for my part in anything. I thought that life had treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I wallowed in self-pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by others.

When I came into the program and began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn’t it others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realised that I had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I started on a journey of growth and increasing self esteem that never ceases to surprise me. When I am able to admit that I’m wrong and apologise for my part in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.

One day at a time …

I will admit my mistakes whether I believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in my recovery.

~ Sharon 

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Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrecovery

Why admitting we’re wrong is right
Right action

Sometimes it’s painful or almost impossible to admit that we’ve been wrong. This means we’ll probably go on making the same mistakes until we’re forced to face the truth. Why does this happen?

The problem lies with what we call the EGO in our Twelve step program discussions. We commit ourselves in defending this ego at al times, especially around people who seem to put us down. Far from being a minor correction, any admissions of wrong feels like total defeat, at least in our warped way of looking at things.

We can release ourselves from this bondage simply by coming to see that admitting and facing our wrongs is essential to growth. A store manager who overstocks a certain item “admits” the mistake by putting the goods on a clearance sale and getting rid of them. We can cut any loss in the same way by admitting a mistake and going on to a better course of action.

I’ll not plan to make any mistakes today, but I’ll hold myself in readiness to admit them if they occur. This is no threat to my ego. I am much more than my mistakes.

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrecovery

We admit that for US—whiskey is bad; but whether it is bad for someone else is simply a matter for them to decide.

We have no fight with alcohol itself, its brewers, distillers, distributors or retailers. We say its abuse is bad but we do not curse the darkness; rather we tend to positive, constructive efforts to help that individual who is groping in the darkness. For him we light a candle of Hope which becomes a beacon upon which he may set a new course to a peaceful harbor where the weary alcoholic may find peace and rest.

Published by Hazelden 

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TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY #essentialsofrecovery

A.A. Thought for the Day

Have I admitted I am an alcoholic? Have I swallowed my pride and admitted I was different from ordinary drinkers? Have I accepted the fact that I must spend the rest of my life without liquor? Have I any more reservations, any idea in the back of my mind that someday I’ll be able to drink safely? Am I absolutely honest with myself and with other people? Have I taken an inventory of myself and admitted the wrong I have done? Have I come clean with my friends? Have I tried to make it up to them for the way I have treated them?

Meditation for the Day

I will believe that fundamentally all is well. Good things will happen to me. I believe that God cares for me and will provide for me. I will not try to plan ahead. I know that the way will unfold, step by step. I will leave tomorrow’s burden to God, because He is the great burden-bearer. He only expects me to carry my one day’s share.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may not try to carry the burden of the universe on my shoulders. I pray that I may be satisfied to do my share each day.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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WALK IN DRY PLACES #essentialsofrecovery

ADMITTING POWERLESSNESS

Admission

If “admitting powerlessness” is still irritating to some of us, we’re not alone. This aspect of AA is even criticized at times. It sounds to some like an unnecessary admission of weakness.

But we often admit powerlessness in other situations. We call the doctor because we are powerless to provide our own treatment. We seek advice and help on other matters. Why is it so bad to admit that we’re powerless over alcohol?

Our trouble with this admission may be caused by false ideas about the nature of alcoholism. We may still feel that our wholeness as people somehow is wrapped up in an ability to drink in moderate amounts. Being able to “hold our liquor” or drink socially may still hold some importance for us.

As soon as possible we need to rid ourselves of these false ideas. Admitting powerlessness in AA is not an admission of total weakness. It is actually the key to finding real power and purpose, perhaps for the first time in our lives.

Since I’ve admitted powerlessness over alcohol, I’ve found new powers and opportunities in following the program. As a result, I’ll remember that I’m a more effective person.

© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation 

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrecovery

THROUGHOUT EACH DAY

This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84 

During my early years in A. A. I saw Step Ten as a suggestion that I periodically look at my behavior and reactions. If there was something wrong, I should admit it; if an apology was necessary, I should give one. After a few years of sobriety I felt I should undertake a self- examination more frequently. Not until several more years of sobriety had elapsed did I realize the full meaning of Step Ten, and the word “continued.” “Continued” does not mean occasionally, or frequently. It means throughout each day.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. 

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EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrecovery

ADMITTING WRONGS

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

~ Alexander Pope

No one can grow spiritually until they have cleared their conscience and gained the respect and forgiveness of others by admitting their wrongs. Only by wiping the slate clean can we free ourselves of the constant painful reminders of acts and words which have left us with regrets, guilt, and shame. Of course, we can’t be free of thoughts about the past until we have learned, through thorough inventories, the nature of our mistakes.

Our admission of wrongdoing may help others understand us better, but the person most benefited from the admission is us. The process of admitting wrongs assures us that we have accepted honesty as an asset we need in our new way of life.

The sooner I admit my mistakes, the easier they are to correct. Let me promptly admit it when I am wrong.

©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden 

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrecovery

YESTERDAY’S BAGGAGE

For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.

~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88 ~

I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday’s baggage too. I must balance today’s books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behavior. Did I hurt anyone, did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. 

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A DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

Reflection for the Day

We are powerless over our addictions; that admission brought us to the Program, where we learn through unconditional surrender that there is victory in defeat. After a time, we learn in Twelfth Step work that we’re not only powerless over our own addiction, but over the addictions of others. We cannot will another person to sobriety, for example, any more than we can hold back the sunset. We may minister to another person’s physical needs; we may share with him, cry with him, and take him to meetings. But we cannot get inside his head and push some sort of magic button that will make him—or her—take the all-important First Step. Do I still sometimes try to play God?

Today I Pray

May I understand my all-too-human need to be the boss, have the upper hand, be the final authority—even in the humbling business of my own addiction. May I see how easy it would be to become a big-shot Twelfth Stepper. May I also see that, no matter how much I care and want to help, I have no control over another’s addiction—any more than someone else has control over mine.

Today I Will Remember 

I cannot engineer another’s sobriety.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

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KEEP IT SIMPLE #essentialsofrecovery

. . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

~ Second half of Step Ten ~

We are human. We make mistakes. This is half the fun of being human. Step Ten clearly tell us what to do when we are wrong: admit it. This keeps us honest. It keeps us from hiding secrets that could cause us to use alcohol or other drugs again.

Trust the gift we get from Step Ten. When we admit our wrongs, people start to trust us again. We feel good, and people feel good being around us. Even when they don’t like how we act, they can trust us to run our lives. No one will ever be prefect. The closet we get is that we admit it when we’re wrong. This is as good as it gets.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me admit my wrongs. Help me earn the trust of others by being honest about my mistakes.

Action for the Day

I will list any wrongs I’ve done today. That way, I’ll start tomorrow fresh and without any burdens from today.

Copyright © 1988 by Hazelden Foundation 

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Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrecovery

Admitting a Wrong
Inventory.

It is all but impossible for some people to make the simple admission, I was wrong. We might have a problem with such admissions because we tend to believe that they place us at a disadvantage.

The reality is that the sooner we can admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong means making more of the same mistakes, thus bringing further harm to ourselves and others.

We may have trouble admitting a wrong because we once faced excessive punishments when we were found wrong. We can find our true course by realizing that admission of our wrongs is the route to well-being and improvement.

I’ll continue to take every opportunity to learn when I might be wrong, thus helping to avoid such mistakes in the future. 

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A Day at a Time #essentialsofrec

Reflection for the Day

After we take an inventory, determining and admitting the exact nature of our wrongs, we become “entirely ready,” as the Sixth Step suggests, “to have God remove all these defects of character.” Sure, it’s easy to feel like that and be “entirely ready” on a morning-after, but we know in such desperate moments that our motive may be remorse rather than repentance, induced more by a throbbing head than a contrite heart. The further we get away from the last addictive binge, the better the wrong-doing looks – more innocent, possibly even more attractive.

Am I ready THEN to “have God remove all these defects of character …?”

Today I Pray

May I be “entirely ready” for God to remove my defects of character. May those words “entirely ready” re-summon my determination in case it should fade with time and sobriety. May God be my strength, since I alone cannot erase my faults.

Today I Will Remember

I am “entirely ready.”

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Step By Step #essentialsofrec #Step5

“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” 

– Step 5

“This (Step) is perhaps difficult – especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. …We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. …Trying to avoid this humbling experience, (members) have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk.”– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), pp 72-3.

Today, I seek the understanding that the purpose of Step Five is to unburden myself of the excess emotional baggage of guilt, fear, resentment and anger that will likely impair my recovery if I do not let go of that weight. I cannot expect to reap the Program’s full benefits if I cannot be unconditionally honest with myself and others by keeping bottled inside those events or feelings that might have contributed to my drinking – and hurt to others. Along with humility, Step Five requires courage, most certainly. But failing to muster both and finally letting go of what now hurts me in my recovery will predictably impede that recovery. And, in letting go by confiding in a trusted confidant or sponsor, I may find fresh perspectives, useful direction and an unbiased opinion that what I think is so bad may not be as bad as I think. Today, I look for the humility and courage to take Step Five and, hopefully, find reconciliation in the process. And our common journey continues. 

Step by step. – Chris M. 

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Admit

The confession of evil works is the first beginning of good works.
—St. Augustine.

We started recovering the minute we admitted we were powerless over our illness. We crossed over from dishonesty to honesty.

Often, we don’t see what power honestly has. Maybe we still aren’t sure that being honest is best for us. It is! This is why the authors of the Big Book ask us to be totally honest from the start.

Just as denial is what makes addiction work, honesty is what makes recovery work.

Honesty means self-respect. Honesty heals. Honesty let us look people in the eyes. What comfort we’ll feel as we deeper into our program.

Prayer for the Day: I pray that I’ll let go totally. I pray that I’ll keep no secrets that could put my sobriety at risk.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll read the first three pages of “How It Works” in the Big Book.

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