Brené Brown: Listening to shame

A Day At A Time - May 17 2026

Reflection For The Day

If we felt guilty, degraded or ashamed or either our addiction itself or the things we did while “under the influence,” that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling: we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn’t even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon drank or used again. Do I remember well what it used to be like?

Today I Pray

May I remember how often, during my days of using chemicals, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a drinking party or the shallow relationships struck up at a bar could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the fellowship of the group. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature.

Today I Will Remember

Thank God for new Friends.

Keep It Simple - May 7 2026

So live that you wouldn’t be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

~ Will Rogers

Secrets help keep us sick. In our drinking and using days, we did things we weren’t proud of. We lived in a secret world we were ashamed of. This part of the power of addiction. Our behavior and our secrets kept us trapped. Recovery offers us a way out of this secret world. In our groups, we share our secrets, and they lose their power over us. There may be things we’re too ashamed to talk about in our groups. When we share these things in our Fifth Step, they lose their power over us.
We have a new life that we’re not ashamed to talk about. When shame leaves, pride enters our hearts. We know we’re good people!

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me live a good life.

Action for the Day: Do I have any secrets that get in my way? Do I need to do a Fifth Step? If so, I’ll pick a date—today.

THE EYE OPENER - April 22 2026

When we take the first drink we invite the dead certainty of physical illness, untold sorrows, shame and degradation. That first drink has built more hospitals, jails, poorhouses and insane asylums than any other cause. All the drinks that follow are simply compounding the felony.

There are some people that can drink intelligently, but these people avoid difficulties. We are not in that class and experience has proven it. Years of sobriety will not enable us to join that class, and again, experience has proven it. Why do you persist in trying, what are you trying to prove? That you are the exception to the rule? If you are the exception you automatically become a freak.

Published by Hazelden 

KEEP IT SIMPLE - April 11 2026

Fools, through false shame, conceal their open wounds.

~ Horace ~

Many of us as children, were taught to hide our pain, to act as if we had none. We look for ways to hide our pain. Alcohol and other drugs helped us do this. But the pain always returned. We were ashamed that we hurt. We thought we were the only one who hurt so badly, and, worst of all, we thought our pain meant we were bad people. Ours is a program of honesty.

As we live life, there will be troubles, and there will be pain. But now we know that we don’t try to hide it. If we hide our wounds, they will not heal. We will listen to others pain and ask them to listen to ours.

This will help us continue our journey in recovery.

Prayer for the Day:

God, help me be honest about my pain. Help me see pain not as a personal defect, but as a part of life.

Action for the Day:

I’ll share my pain with a friend, a family member, my group, or sponsor. I’ll ask them to do the same with me. I’ll think of pain as part of life.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

One Day At A Time - 4th October 2025

SHAME


”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess, but the ridiculous and the shameful.”

–Jean Jacques Rousseau

I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as “unacceptable” by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?

As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that “unacceptable” child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.

Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!

One day at a time…

I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.

~ Karen A.      

Step by Step May 25 2026

“The remorse, horror and hopelessness of the next morning are unforgettable. The courage to do battle was not there. (The) brain raced uncontrollably and there was a terrible sense of impending calamity. …(A) mental fog settled down. Gin would fix that. So two bottles, and – oblivion.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 1, p 6.

Today, I can be grateful that I awoke to a day without the remorse of what I might have done or said the night before, without a sense of dread of what this new day will bring and without the fear of some unknown and unidentified pending disaster that feels like a bomb is about to explode and I don’t know where to hide. Today, I have clarity of all I said and did last night, no dread of what these 24 Hours will serve and no need to run from a non-existent fear. My AA Program has empowered me with faith and trust in a Higher Power who, in turn, has graced me with confidence and safety in the 12 Steps and, above all, with sobriety. But I cannot take for granted that I awoke to this day sober and with a sense of purpose. My reprieve from all those morning after’s of so many yesterdays is only for this day, and this day I must continue to work toward awakening to the next 24 Hours without “remorse, horror and hopelessness.” And our common journey continues. 

Step by step. – Chris M., 2013

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY #essentialsofrecovery

A.A. Thought for the Day

When we were drinking, we used to be ashamed of the past. Remorse is terrible mental punishment: ashamed of ourselves for the things we’ve said and done, afraid to face people because of what they might think of us, afraid of the consequences of what we did when we were drunk. In A.A. we forget about the past. Do I believe that God has forgiven me for everything I’ve done in the past, no matter how black it was, provided I’m honestly trying to do the right thing today?

Meditation for the Day

God’s spirit is all about you all day long. You have no thoughts, no plans, no impulses, no emotions, that He does not know about. You can hide nothing from Him. Do not make your conduct conform only to that of the world and do not depend on the approval or disapproval of others. God sees in secret, but He re-wards openly. If you are in harmony with the Divine Spirit, doing your best to live the way you believe God wants you to live, you will be at peace.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may always feel God’s presence. I pray that I may realize this Presence constantly all through the day.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

SHAME


”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess, but the ridiculous and the shameful.”

–Jean Jacques Rousseau

I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as “unacceptable” by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?

As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that “unacceptable” child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.

Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!

One day at a time…

I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.

~ Karen A.     

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Brené Brown: Listening to shame #essentialsofrecovery

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Laughter #Shame

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.

—Ethel Barrymore

There was a time when we wouldn’t let anyone laugh at us—even ourselves. We had to much shame. We had to much pain. We took the world too seriously. If we laughed it was at others—not at ourselves. Over time , real honest laughter returns to us. Laughter is a way of accepting ourselves as human. To be human means we can make mistakes. It means we can lighten up. It also means growing up. And growing up means being happy with all of who we are—even parts of us that may seem odd or funny. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, we shut ourselves off from the world. We shut ourselves off from the parts of us we need to accept. Am I willing to accept the fact that I’m human.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You made laughter. Help me us it to make my life easier. Help me accept all of me a funny mistake I’ve made.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll share with someone close to me a funny mistake I’ve made.

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrec #Shame #Illness #Recovery

When we take the first drink we invite the dead certainty of physical illness, untold sorrows, shame and degradation. That first drink has built more hospitals, jails, poorhouses and insane asylums than any other cause. All the drinks that follow are simply compounding the felony.

There are some people that can drink intelligently, but these people avoid difficulties. We are not in that class and experience has proven it. Years of sobriety will not enable us to join that class, and again, experience has proven it. Why do you persist in trying, what are you trying to prove? That you are the exception to the rule? If you are the exception you automatically become a freak.

Published by Hazelden

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KEEP IT SIMPLE #essentialsosrec #Laughter #Shame

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh at yourself.
~ Ethel Barrymore ~
There was a time when we wouldn’t let anyone laugh at us—even ourselves. We had too much shame. We had too much pain. We took the world too seriously. If we laughed, it was at others—not at ourselves.

Over time, real and honest laughter returns to us. Laughter is a way of accepting ourselves as human. To be human means we can make mistakes. It means we can lighten up. It also means growing up. And growing up means being happy with all of who we are—even parts of us that may seem odd or funny. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, we shut ourselves off from the world. We shut ourselves off from the parts of us we need to accept. Am I willing to accept the fact that I’m human?

Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, You made laughter. Help me use it to make my life easier. Help me accept all of me.

Today’s Action
Today, I’ll share with someone close to me a funny mistake I’ve made.

Copyright © 1988 by Hazelden Foundation

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FR. LEO'S DAILY MEDITATION #essentialsofrec #FrLeo #Guilt

GUILT

“It is all the same to me whether one comes from Sing Sing or Harvard. We hire a person, not their history.”

~ Henry Ford ~

Too often I get so locked into my history ─ what I did, what I said, and the events of which I was ashamed—that I miss the gift of the new day. Those who suffer from the disease of addiction need to deal with past problems but not live in them.

My attitude toward today need not be based on what happened yesterday. Today is the beginning of the rest of my life.

I know I create most of the pain and tragedy in my life, but I also know I create the joys and successes. I am confident my sobriety makes me a winner.

Spirit, I forgive myself for yesterday and look forward to the healing that comes today. 

© 2008 Leo Booth

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JUST FOR TODAY #essentialsofrec #LettingGo #NA #Addiction

Letting Go Of The Past

“It is not where we were that counts, but where we are going.”

~ Basic Text, pg.22 ~

When we first find recovery, some of us feel shame or despair at calling ourselves “addicts.” In the early days, we may be filled with both fear and hope as we struggle to find new meaning in our lives. The past may seem inescapable and overpowering. It may be hard to think of ourselves in any way other than the way we always have.

While memories of the past can serve as reminders of what’s waiting for us if we use again, the can also keep us stuck in a nightmare of shame and fear. Though it may be difficult to let go of those memories, each day in recovery can bring us that much farther away from our active addiction. Each day, we can find more to look forward to and less to punish ourselves for.

In recovery, all doors are open to us. We have many choices. Our new life is rich and full of promise. While we cannot forget the past, we don’t have to live in it. We can move on.

Just for today: I will pack my bags and move out of my past into a present filled with hope.

© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc

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ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Mistakes #Admission

ADMITTING MISTAKES

“A man should never be ashamed
to own he has been in the wrong,
which is but saying, in other words,
that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.”
~ Alexander Pope 

Most of my life I had spent in blaming others for all the bad things that happened in my life, and I never learned to take responsibility for my part in anything. I thought that life had treated me unfairly, but mostly it was because someone else had wronged me. I wallowed in self-pity and justifiable anger, and not surprisingly, I found comfort in food so I could get through the pain of being treated so badly by others.

When I came into the program and began working the steps, I was horrified to learn that I was expected to do a searching and fearless inventory of my wrongdoings, for after all wasn’t it others who had harmed me and not the other way around? Slowly I realised that I had a part to play in all the events in my life, and that only by clearing up the wreckage of my past and keeping my side of the street clean, did I have any hope of recovery. I had to swallow my pride and admit when I was wrong, and when I did that, miracles began to happen. Instead of feeling hard done by and bad about myself as I had thought I would, the exact opposite happened, and I started on a journey of growth and increasing self esteem that never ceases to surprise me. When I am able to admit that I’m wrong and apologise for my part in any conflict or misunderstanding, without expectation of anything back from the other person, I strengthen my recovery in this program.

One day at a time …

I will admit my mistakes whether I believe that the fault is mine or not, because that is the way that I grow in my recovery.

~ Sharon 

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

SHAME


”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess, but the ridiculous and the shameful.”

–Jean Jacques Rousseau

I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as “unacceptable” by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?

As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that “unacceptable” child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.

Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!

One day at a time…

I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.

~ Karen A.     

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FR. LEO'S DAILY MEDITATION #essentialsofrecovery

SHAME

“If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.”

~ Marcus Tullius Cicero ~

I was afraid to tell others what I thought. I was afraid to speak or be noticed. I sat for hours in silence. At times, I wished I could vanish into the furniture. I was afraid of my shadow.

This reveals not only my lack of confidence but also my low self-esteem. I did not think I had anything to offer that might be interesting. I would laugh at stupid things to please people.

Today I speak out with courage. I do not hide what I am thinking. I believe I have something to offer in the celebration of life. And it feels good! My spiritual growth is proportionate to my willingness to let others know who I am and what I think.

May I celebrate my joy in living by sharing it. 

© 2008 Leo Booth    

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

SHAME


”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess, but the ridiculous and the shameful.”

–Jean Jacques Rousseau

I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as “unacceptable” by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?

As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that “unacceptable” child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.

Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!

One day at a time…

I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.

~ Karen A.    

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A Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

Reflection For The Day

If we felt guilty, degraded or ashamed or either our addiction itself or the things we did while “under the influence,” that served to magnify our feelings of being outcasts. On occasion, we secretly feared or actually believed that we deserved every painful feeling: we thought, at times, that we truly were outsiders. The dark tunnel of our lives seemed formidable and unending. We couldn’t even voice our feelings and could hardly bear to think about them. So we soon drank or used again. Do I remember well what it used to be like?

Today I Pray

May I remember how often, during my days of using chemicals, I felt alone with my shame and guilt. The phony jollity of a drinking party or the shallow relationships struck up at a bar could not keep me from feeling like an outsider. May I appreciate the chance to make new friends through the fellowship of the group. May I know that my relationships now will be saner, less dependent, more mature.

Today I Will Remember

Thank God for new Friends. 

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