To apologize: to lay the foundation for a future offense.
—Ambrose Bierce
“I’m sorry,” said the blind man as he whipped the mare. “I’m sorry,” said the mare, as she kicked the blind man in return.
“We’re sorry,” they assured themselves, as they pushed each other around again and again. Often, we push our troubles with other people around, creeping along in the old rough way, refusing to change because we’re too involved to see another choice.
There’s little sorrow in being sorry all the time. A true apology doesn’t try to explain. Sometimes a true apology just breaks down and cries. Then maybe we’re ready to go on – take someone by the hand, tell the whole sad truth, and work to find a better way.
Are my apologies excuses, or requests to be forgiven?
When we take the first drink we invite the dead certainty of physical illness, untold sorrows, shame and degradation. That first drink has built more hospitals, jails, poorhouses and insane asylums than any other cause. All the drinks that follow are simply compounding the felony.
There are some people that can drink intelligently, but these people avoid difficulties. We are not in that class and experience has proven it. Years of sobriety will not enable us to join that class, and again, experience has proven it. Why do you persist in trying, what are you trying to prove? That you are the exception to the rule? If you are the exception you automatically become a freak.
Published by Hazelden
All things in life are relative. Without night there would be no day; without evil there would be no good; without sorrow
there would be no joy.Drunk or sober, clouds will occasionally appear on the horizon but most of them will blow away. Storm
will sometimes break upon us but if we are prepared we can ride it out and the rainbow will follow giving promise of better things ahead.Yesterday’s rain enhances our pleasure in today’s sunshine.Published by Hazelden
Overcome your uncertainties and free yourself from dwelling on sorrow. If you delight in existence, you will become a guide to those who need you, revealing the path to many.
-Sutra Piñata
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All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.
~ Isak Dinesen
Sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others in this program helps to clarify for all of us the miracle of recovery. Telling another woman how we survived the most awful of experiences lets her know that her life is survivable too. It’s not by accident that the founders of AA stressed the value of telling our stories.
Each time we share an aspect of our own traumatic past, its sting is diminished. The more we repeat these awful truths, the less their hold on us. Our storytelling lets our listeners know that their own experiences are not so different after all.
What lucky women we are. No longer do we hide ourselves from others. Each conversation with a sponsor, sponsee, or friend is an opportunity to lighten our load.
I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be freed from it!
© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation
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MUSIC
“Sorrow, sadness, yearning, hope, and love belong to all of us, in all times and in all places. Music is the only means whereby we feel these emotions in their universality.”
~ H.A. Overstreet ~
Music is a language for the world. It unites people, cultures, and religions. Music points people beyond themselves, while at the same time breathing God’s glory through them. Music makes us wonder, enables us to dream, and allows us to rest in the miracle of creativity.
Drugs stopped me from appreciating the music. They corrupted sounds and made them destructive. Drugs left me with a feeling of utter emptiness.
In recovery, I can hear again. My spiritual program incorporates music—different types of music and the inexhaustible joys of melody. I feel in it, through it, with it—another miracle.
Thank You for the gift of music that enables me to grow in understanding.
© 2008 Leo Booth
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When we take the first drink we invite the dead certainty of physical illness, untold sorrows, shame and degradation. That first drink has built more hospitals, jails, poorhouses and insane asylums than any other cause. All the drinks that follow are simply compounding the felony.There are some people that can drink intelligently, but these people avoid difficulties. We are not in that class and experience has proven it. Years of sobriety will not enable us to join that class, and again, experience has proven it. Why do you persist in trying, what are you trying to prove? That you are the exception to the rule? If you are the exception you automatically become a freak.Published by Hazelden
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All sorrows can be borne if you put them into a story or tell a story about them.~ Isak Dinesen Sharing our experience, strength, and hope with others in this program helps to clarify for all of us the miracle of recovery. Telling another woman how we survived the most awful of experiences lets her know that her life is survivable too. It’s not by accident that the founders of AA stressed the value of telling our stories.Each time we share an aspect of our own traumatic past, its sting is diminished. The more we repeat these awful truths, the less their hold on us. Our storytelling lets our listeners know that their own experiences are not so different after all.What lucky women we are. No longer do we hide ourselves from others. Each conversation with a sponsor, sponsee, or friend is an opportunity to lighten our load.I will tell a part of my story to someone today. She may be helped by it, and I will be freed from it!
© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation
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GRATITUDEWe have no right to ask, when sorrow comes, “why did this happen to me?” unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.~ Philip S. Bernstein Self-pity used to overwhelm us. We bitterly asked why fate had burdened us with the obsession that brought us to a 12 Step Group. Now that recovery fills our lives, we are grateful for the good fortune that we have been shown a way out.Gratitude brings humility for our progress and compassion for all those who still suffer. We are not only grateful for what we have received. We are grateful for the opportunity to give. We want to always do more than feel grateful. We need to express that gratitude.My reply to every complaint I have is “compared to what?” No matter how badly I think I hurt today, every day with my old problems was worse.©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden
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Rain scatters plum petals;
Weeping stains the earth.
One can only take shelter
And wait for clearing.
When sorrow comes, its bitterness soaks everything. The sages say that life is illusion, but does that change its poignancy? Let us be sad; it is feeling that makes us human. If we gain enlightenment, understanding all life to be a dream, sadness and happiness will fall away soon enough.
The greatest sorrow of life is witnessing. Experiencing our own sufferings is not as difficult as watching others held in fate’s mighty grip. Bearing our own problems is easier because we are always aware that we can exercise other options — up to the final one. However, it hurts the most when we can do nothing for others. The greatest sorrow is to see those we love suffer helplessly.
When faced with a sad situation, it is best not to languish in it. We can change things by being with different people, moving to other places, or, if all else fails, adjusting our own attitudes to take the initiative. Sadness is transitory, like everything else. If we want to deflect it, we need only alter its context and allow it to be subsumed back into Tao.
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The child that lives in all of us is always willing to take the blame.~ Margaret Haigh We sometimes wonder if all women feel as we do. How many times do we apologize for situations that go awry, even those we had no part in? When conflicts erupt, why is it so easy to assume it’s our fault?. When we fear we aren’t adequate as women, It’s a small step to accepting blame for every ripple In a circumstance. We become obsessed with trying to control the uncontrollable, and then we think we’re at fault when we fail.Mood-altering chemicals appealed to us because they temporarily made us feel good about ourselves. Because we’re human, we don’t always feel good about ourselves. But now we have friends we run talk to in the most intimate way and program tools that can improve our attitude. The longer we’re sober, the more obvious it is that our attitude is the culprit. Changing it changes everything!I am not to blame for anyone else’s problems today. Accepting blame was a habit. Cultivating a better attitude can be a habit too.© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation
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To apologize: to lay the foundation for a future offense. –Ambrose Bierce
“I’m sorry,” said the blind man as he whipped the mare. “I’m sorry,” said the mare, as she kicked the blind man in return.
“We’re sorry,” they assured themselves, as they pushed each other around again and again. Often, we push our troubles with other people around, creeping along in the old rough way, refusing to change because we’re too involved to see another choice.
There’s little sorrow in being sorry all the time. A true apology doesn’t try to explain. Sometimes a true apology just breaks down and cries. Then maybe we’re ready to go on–take someone by the hand, tell the whole sad truth, and work to find a better way.
Are my apologies excuses, or requests to be forgiven?
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Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery
Rain scatters plum petals;
Weeping stains the earth.
One can only take shelter
And wait for clearing.
When sorrow comes, its bitterness soaks everything. The sages say that life is illusion, but does that change its poignancy? Let us be sad; it is feeling that makes us human. If we gain enlightenment, understanding all life to be a dream, sadness and happiness will fall away soon enough.
The greatest sorrow of life is witnessing. Experiencing our own sufferings is not as difficult as watching others held in fate’s mighty grip. Bearing our own problems is easier because we are always aware that we can exercise other options — up to the final one. However, it hurts the most when we can do nothing for others. The greatest sorrow is to see those we love suffer helplessly.
When faced with a sad situation, it is best not to languish in it. We can change things by being with different people, moving to other places, or, if all else fails, adjusting our own attitudes to take the initiative. Sadness is transitory, like everything else. If we want to deflect it, we need only alter its context and allow it to be subsumed back into Tao.
Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery
Rain scatters plum petals;
Weeping stains the earth.
One can only take shelter
And wait for clearing.
When sorrow comes, its bitterness soaks everything. The sages say that life is illusion, but does that change its poignancy? Let us be sad; it is feeling that makes us human. If we gain enlightenment, understanding all life to be a dream, sadness and happiness will fall away soon enough.
The greatest sorrow of life is witnessing. Experiencing our own sufferings is not as difficult as watching others held in fate’s mighty grip. Bearing our own problems is easier because we are always aware that we can exercise other options — up to the final one. However, it hurts the most when we can do nothing for others. The greatest sorrow is to see those we love suffer helplessly.
When faced with a sad situation, it is best not to languish in it. We can change things by being with different people, moving to other places, or, if all else fails, adjusting our own attitudes to take the initiative. Sadness is transitory, like everything else. If we want to deflect it, we need only alter its context and allow it to be subsumed back into Tao.
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I’M SORRY
The prayer of amends must be a way of life, not just a sad cry at the end of failure.
~ Anonymous
Most of us are truly sorry for the wreck-age we caused by our behavior. Our disease has touched many people and the scars sometimes run deep. It would be great if everyone we harmed would accept our apology, but this probably won’t happen. It doesn’t matter. We still need to tell them we feel bad about their pain.
It’s true that we offer amends in the hope of healing relationships. But it is even truer that our recovery depends on our willingness to offer amends. Some things can’t be set right with an “I’m sorry.” We have to show by actions as well as words that we honestly want to make amends where possible.
As long as I pursue my recovery one day at a time, I will have time enough to demonstrate in action that I am sorry for the pain I caused.
©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden
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Reflection For The Day
“At certain moments.” wrote Coleridge, ” a single almost insignificant sorrow may, by association, bring together all the little epics of pain and discomfort, bodily and mental, that we have endured even from infancy.” The Program doesn’t teach us to pretend that hardships and sorrow are meaningless. Grief really hurts, and so do other kinds of pain. But now that we’re free of our addictions, we have much greater control over our thinking. And the thoughts we choose to spend time on during any given day can strongly influence the complexion of our feelings for that day. Am I finding different and better ways of using my mind?
Today I Pray
May I thank God for the pain — however insignificant -0- that magnetizes my succession of old hurts into one large one that I can take out and look at, and then discard to make room for new and present concerns. May I thank God for restoring my sensitivity to pain after the numbness of addiction.
Today I Will Remember
I can thank God for restoring my feelings.
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17
DecemberThe rose and the thorn, and sorrow and gladness are linked together.~ Saadi When we were drinking and drugging, we didn’t have to deal much with feelings. We turned them off. Then, when we let go of the alcohol and other drugs, we started to come back to life. Now—we have feelings again!But, even now, in recovery, we’re scared of too much happiness. It’s true–we don’t want sadness and pain at all. Yet, feelings—the good and the bad—keep on coming.And we have to handle them. We are learning to handle our feelings. We’re getting strong enough to deal with them. With the help of our friends in the program, and our Higher Power, we’re ready for life.Prayer for the Day:Higher Power, I want to be fully alive, but I’m a little scared. Help me know what to do with my feelings today.Action for the Day:Today, I’ll be open to feelings. I’ll enjoy my good feelings and share them. I’ll ask for help with hard feelings by praying, and by calling my sponsor.Copyright © 1988 by Hazelden Foundation
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27
NovemberSorrow and happiness are mental states, but the effect they have upon our nervous system and our blood pressure is a recognized fact.
The “Atmosphere” of a hospital and its staff can lengthen or shorten the duration of an illness.
We alcoholics spent years driving nails into our coffins; let us spend today drawing those nails out.
Published by Hazelden
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11
NovemberHave the courage to live; anyone can die.~ Robert Cody ~Living means facing all of life. Life is joy and sorrow. We used to be people who wanted the joy without the sorrow. But we can learn from hard times, maybe more than we do in easy times. Often, getting through hard times helps us grow. When things get tough, maybe we want to turn and run. Then, a gentle voice from within us say, “I am with you. You have friends who will help.” If we listen, we’ll hear our Higher Power. This is what is meant by “conscious contact” in Step eleven. As this conscious contact grows, our courage grows. And we find the strength to face hard times.Prayer for the Day:I pray for the strength and courage to live. I pray that I’ll never have to face hard time alone again.Action for the Day:I’ll list two examples of conscious contact” in my life.Copyright © 1988 by Hazelden Foundation
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12
September
Reflection For The Day“At certain moments.” wrote Coleridge, ” a single almost insignificant sorrow may, by association, bring together all the little epics of pain and discomfort, bodily and mental, that we have endured even from infancy.” The Program doesn’t teach us to pretend that hardships and sorrow are meaningless. Grief really hurts, and so do other kinds of pain. But now that we’re free of our addictions, we have much greater control over our thinking. And the thoughts we choose to spend time on during any given day can strongly influence the complexion of our feelings for that day. Am I finding different and better ways of using my mind?Today I PrayMay I thank God for the pain — however insignificant -0- that magnetizes my succession of old hurts into one large one that I can take out and look at, and then discard to make room for new and present concerns. May I thank God for restoring my sensitivity to pain after the numbness of addiction.Today I Will RememberI can thank God for restoring my feelings.
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