Big Book

We reviewed our own conduct over the years past. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, or inconsiderate? Whom had we hurt? Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness? Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it.

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test-was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.

Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. in meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it.

God alone can judge our sex situation. Counsel with persons is often desirable, but we let God be the final judge. We realize that some people are as fanatical about sex as others are loose. We avoid hysterical thinking or advice.


~ Chapter 5    How It Works (pg 69 & top 70)

Keep It Simple - April 8 2026

It’s a simple formula: Do your best and somebody might like it.

~ Dorothy Baker

Our program is a selfish program. It tells us to let go of what others think. We’re staying sober for ourselves, not for anyone else. Our body and our spirit are at stack. And we know what we need to do to stay sober.

If we fell shaky about going to a party, we don’t go—no matter who gets upset.

If our job makes it hard to stay sober, we get a different one—no mater who it upsets. It’s simple we must take good care of ourselves before we can be good to others. In doing this, we learn how to be a friend, a good parent, a good spouse. we have to care for ourselves to have good relationships. Do I believe it okay to be selfish when it comes to my program?

Prayer for the Day : Higher Power, help me do what is best for my recovery, no matter what others think.

Action for the Day: I will remind myself that staying sober is simple. I don’t use chemicals.  And I work the program. 

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY - 3rd April 2026

A.A. Thought for the Day

When I was drinking, I was absolutely selfish, I thought of myself first, last, and always. The universe revolved around me at the center. When I woke up in the morning with a hangover, my only thought was how terrible I felt and about what I could do to make myself feel better. And the only thing I could think of was more liquor. To quit was impossible. I couldn’t see beyond myself and my own need for another drink. Can I now look out and beyond my own selfishness?

Meditation for the Day
Remember that the first quality of greatness is service. In a way, God is the greatest servant of all, because He is always waiting for us to call on Him to help us in all good endeavors. His strength is always available to us, but we must ask it of Him through our own free will. It is a free gift, but we must sincerely seek for it. A life of service is the finest life we can live. We are here on earth to serve others. That is the beginning and the end of our real worth.

Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may cooperate with God in all good things. I pray that I may serve God and others and so lead a useful and happy life.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrecovery

~ Page 81 ~

Selfish?

I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, ‘A.A. is a selfish program.’ The word `selfish’ ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits.

What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation—however we may define this—he will have little or nothing. For us if A.A., there is even more urgency.

If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first a right and necessary kind of self-concern.

~ LETTER, 1966 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc 

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrecovery

The Program is often referred to as a Selfish Program and it is primarily that. Jesus of Nazareth told us to “Love our neighbors AS ourselves.” We are supposed to love ourselves, and in so doing we should give to ourselves all the happiness we can. We have found out, however, by practical application, that we can only receive happiness if we give happiness.

We should fulfill all our duties to our families, to our communities, and to our neighbors so that we can keep in the good graces of our own conscience for that is the only avenue of approach to happiness and peace of mind.

If you really love that guy in the mirror, you must of necessity love your Creator and your neighbor.

Published by Hazelden

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KEEP IT SIMPLE #essentialsofrec #fearless #Fear

Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
~ Step Four of Alcoholics Anonymous. ~
We avoid the Fourth Step. We put it off. We’re scared of what we will find inside of us. We may find out we’re mean, angry, selfish, afraid.

We might see how badly we’ve acted to others, to ourselves. We have all these things inside us. We also have love, trust, faith, and hope. We love art, music, nature, or sports. We have power to heal, and we have used it too. The Fourth Step helps us to know our inner power. As we learn about our own power, we can use it carefully, on purpose, to do good.

Prayer for the Day:

Higher Power, help me use my power to do Your will.
Let your power work through me too.

Action for the Day:
Today I’ll watch my own actions and words. I’ll see how my power affects others. I’ll talk about this with my sponsor.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation

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AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrec #AA #Recovery

~ Page 89 ~

Review the Day
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?

We must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflections, for that would diminish our usefulness to ourselves and to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Selfish

 Page 81 ~

“Selfish?”

“I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, ‘A.A. is a selfish program.’ The word `selfish’ ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits.

“What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation—however we may define this—he will have little or nothing. For us if A.A., there is even more urgency.

“If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first—a right and necessary kind of self-concern.”

~ LETTER, 1966 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

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KEEP IT SIMPLE #essentialsofrec #Selfishness #Truth #Recovery

To thine own self be true.

~ AA medallions 

Sometimes we hear that we have a “selfish program.” Being “selfish” means that we ask for help when we need it. We only go to places that are safe for us, no matter what others Eire doing. Being selfish comes to mean safety for us.

Being selfish doesn’t mean we act like brats. We must act in ways that show respect and love—for ourselves and for others. Being selfish means we do what is good for us.

What is good for us? First, we have to save our lives by stopping our drinking and drugging. Next, we start working the Steps. We come to know a loving Higher Power. This is how we come to know our true self.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me be true to myself and my values. Help me be “selfish” about spending time to talk with You each day.

Action for the Day

I’ll list ten ways I need to be “selfish” in recov-ery. If I get stuck, I’ll be “selfish” and ask for help.

Copyright © 1988 by Hazelden Foundation

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrec #love #Program

The Program is often referred to as a Selfish Program and it is primarily that. Jesus of Nazareth told us to “Love our neighbors as ourselves.” We are supposed to love ourselves, and in so doing we should give to ourselves all the happiness we can. We have found out, however, by practical application, that we can only receive happiness if we give happiness.

We should fulfill all our duties to our families, to our communities, and to our neighbors so that we can keep in the good graces of our own conscience for that is the only avenue of approach to happiness and peace of mind.

If you really love that guy in the mirror, you must of necessity love your Creator and your neighbor.

Published by Hazelden

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AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Thinking

THY WILL BE DONE

Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven (Matthew 6:10)

Now we too often choose to use our free will in a negative way; allowing ourselves to think selfishly, and this wrong thinking brings upon us all our troubles. Instead of understanding that it is our essential nature to express God, to be ever about our Father’s business, we try to set up our own account. We abuse our own free will, trying to work apart from God; and the very natural results is all sickness, poverty, sin, troubles, and death that we find on the physical plane. We must never for a moment try to make plans or arrangements without reference to God, or suppose that we can either be happy or successful if we are seeking any other end than to do his will.

Our business is to bring our whole nature as fast as we can into conformity with the will of God. “In his will is our peace,” said Dante, and the Divine Comedy is really a study in fundamental states of consciousness, the Inferno representing the state of the soul that is endeavoring to live without God, the Paradisio representing the state of the soul that has achieved its conscious unity with the divine will. It was the sublime conflict of the soul that wrung from the heart of the great Augustine the cry, “Thou hast made us for Thyself; and our hearts are restless until they find themselves in Thee.”

© 1931 by Emmet Fox

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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrecovery

“Selfish”?, p.81

“I can see why you are disturbed to hear some A.A. speakers say, ‘A.A. is a selfish program.’ The word ‘selfish’ ordinarily implies that one is acquisitive, demanding, and thoughtless of the welfare of others. Of course, the A.A. way of life does not at all imply such undesirable traits.

“What do these speakers mean? Well, any theologian will tell you that the salvation of his own soul is the highest vocation that a man can have. Without salvation–however we may define this–he will have little or nothing. For us of A.A., there is even more urgency.

“If we cannot or will not achieve sobriety, then we become truly lost, right in the here and now. We are of no value to anyone, including ourselves, until we find salvation from alcohol. Therefore, our own recovery and spiritual growth have to come first–a right and necessary kind of self-concern.”

Letter, 1966 

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THE EYE OPENER #essentialsofrecovery

As we alcoholics are selfish by nature it is but right and proper that, we should be more severe in our judgments of ourselves than of others. As we are our own best friend or our worst enemy, depending upon our treatment of ourselves, and as we are the one person in the world from whom we cannot escape, it is therefore essential that we do not allow ourselves to get away with anything in our treatment of ourselves. When we forgive ourselves we are rationalizing, but to forgive others is divine.

Published by Hazelden 

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AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX #essentialsofrecovery

IS IT SELFISH?

Is it selfish to pray for yourself? Some people think that it is, and say that you should pray only for others, but this, of course, is a foolish idea.

You must pray for yourself constantly. How could it be otherwise? We worship God by believing in Him, trusting Him, and loving Him wholeheartedly—and we can attain to that only through prayer. The sole object of our being here is that we may grow like him—and we can do that only through prayer.

The more we pray for ourselves the more power will our prayers have for any other purpose whatever; so praying for ourselves is the reverse of selfishness—it is truly glorifying God.

Bow down thine ear, O Lord, hear me: for I am poor and needy. . . . Rejoice the soul of thy servant; for unto thee, O Lord, do I lift up my soul (Psalm 86:1, 4).

© 1931 by Emmet Fox 

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Random Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous #essentialsofrecovery

He Sold Himself Short

Dr. Bob led me through all of these steps. At the moral inventory, he brought up several of my bad personality traits or character defects, such as selfishness, conceit, jealousy, carelessness, intolerance, illtemper, sarcasm, and resentments. We went over these at great length, and then he finally asked me if I wanted these defects of character removed. When I said yes, we both knelt at his desk and prayed, each of us asking to have these defects taken away.

p. 263 

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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec

Who Is To Blame?, p. 222

At Step Four we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking, and frightened?  Though a given situation had not been entirely our fault, we often tried to cast the whole blame on the other person involved.

We finally saw that the inventory should be ours, not the other man’s. So we admitted our wrongs honestly and became willing to set these matters straight.

Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 67 

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EMMET FOX - Don't be Selfish #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Selfish

You must not be selfish if you wish to have any success in the spiritual life. In his Great Prayer, Jesus makes us say Our Father, and not simply my Father. We should draw the true lesson from this, and pray for others as well as for ourselves. Some people take the mistaken view that we should not pray for ourselves at all but only for others, but this is to go to the opposite extreme. Pray every day (for a short time) for others as well as for yourself. This will have a much greater reaction than you will probably expect. Pray for different groups of people at different times, as you feel led.

Sometimes pray for sick people in hospitals who are likely to recover soon, and at other times pray for those who are spoken of as so-called “incurables.” Of course, you will not admit to yourself that anyone is really incurable. Sometimes pray for persons in jails, claiming peace, understanding, and freedom for them.


Sometimes pray for those who seem to have a special difficulty in finding suitable employment.

Sometimes pray for those who are lonely and feel themselves to be isolated. From time to time God will inspire you with new groups to pray for, so that you will never feel that these ideas are getting stale.

Above all, pray for people who think that they do not believe in God or in prayer. Of course, they need your prayers more than anyone else. All these prayers will bring back a special blessing to you yourself, besides blessing many, many people whom you will never even hear of.

“It is more blessed to give than to receive. “Jesus Christ.

Fox, Emmet (2010-09-07). Stake Your Claim: Exploring the Gold Mine Within (p. 61). Harper Collins, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

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