September
Some suggestions take on a life of their own
After thirty-five years without a drink I find myself very confused about what I'm hearing at meetings.
When I came into AA, I was told I had an illness and if I didn't drink I wouldn't get drunk. Now what I hear is: "If you don't get to ninety meetings in ninety days, you'll get drunk."
"If you don't get down on your knees to pray, you'll get drunk."
"If you isolate, you'll get drunk."
"If you're co-dependent, you'll get drunk."
Recently, I attended a Big Book study group and the group was told by a militant young lady that those who hadn't studied the Big Book with a member of that group would not be asked to join the discussion.
It has always been my belief that no matter how long people are sober, there are no experts. Further, ours is a Fellowship of suggestions and not demands. In my thirty-five years, I have found answers for me but have not acquired the ability to live another person's life.
When I first approached the Fellowship, it was suggested that I get a sponsor. Now sometimes it appears the only choices are a guru or a Step Nazi. Thank God I was told that the timetable in working the Steps was between my Higher Power and me.
The simplicity of the Fellowship is an important aspect of my continued sobriety. The Fellowship states loud and clear, "Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety." When I was new, the "experts" of those days allowed us to enjoy the blessing of not having to drink one day at a time until we were ready to confront our previous distortions. Yet now I observe people being made to suffer in attempting to discover "who they are" and "what space they're in."
The French author Andre Gide wrote that the maxim "Know thyself" was "as pernicious as it is ugly. Whoever studies himself arrests his own development. A caterpillar that sets out to really know itself would never become a butterfly."
Somewhere I remember hearing that this was a Fellowship of progress not perfection, and I'm also certain that once or twice I've heard "Keep It Simple."
Sometimes I think I'm in the wrong hall!
Marge R.
West Dennis, Massachusetts
"If you're co-dependent, you'll get drunk."
Recently, I attended a Big Book study group and the group was told by a militant young lady that those who hadn't studied the Big Book with a member of that group would not be asked to join the discussion.
It has always been my belief that no matter how long people are sober, there are no experts. Further, ours is a Fellowship of suggestions and not demands. In my thirty-five years, I have found answers for me but have not acquired the ability to live another person's life.
When I first approached the Fellowship, it was suggested that I get a sponsor. Now sometimes it appears the only choices are a guru or a Step Nazi. Thank God I was told that the timetable in working the Steps was between my Higher Power and me.
The simplicity of the Fellowship is an important aspect of my continued sobriety. The Fellowship states loud and clear, "Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety." When I was new, the "experts" of those days allowed us to enjoy the blessing of not having to drink one day at a time until we were ready to confront our previous distortions. Yet now I observe people being made to suffer in attempting to discover "who they are" and "what space they're in."
The French author Andre Gide wrote that the maxim "Know thyself" was "as pernicious as it is ugly. Whoever studies himself arrests his own development. A caterpillar that sets out to really know itself would never become a butterfly."
Somewhere I remember hearing that this was a Fellowship of progress not perfection, and I'm also certain that once or twice I've heard "Keep It Simple."
Sometimes I think I'm in the wrong hall!
Marge R.
West Dennis, Massachusetts
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Yesss i agree with this entire statement...Thk you for the courage to speek up
ReplyDeleteAmen, amen, the truth
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