Wednesday, 16 September 2020

Today’s Gift #essentialsiofrecovery

He’s making me crazy. I don’t understand. Why would someone say they were going to do one thing, then do something so different from what they say? He looks so good and talks so good. His promises sound so, so real, but then everything falls apart. Then about the time I’m ready to blow a gasket, he calls, charms my socks off, and the whole cycle starts over again. I walk away, scratching my head and wondering, What’s wrong with me? Did I just imagine this whole thing? Did I overact? I don’t get it, I don’t understand.

Maybe it’s time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And when we’re talking on the phone, I feel like I’m the only one for him. But then when I see him, I know he’s lying to me. I know he’s seeing someone else and standing there looking me right in the eyes and lying about it. I don’t understand why I feel so insane.

Maybe it’s time for an Al-Anon meeting.

And then I catch him straight-out lying to me, and I blow up. I just can’t stand that lying stuff, especially when I knew all the time he was lying to me and he denied it. I put up with it and put up with it and then finally I can’t take it anymore. By the time I blow up, he’s standing there looking calm and serene and I’m acting like an insane person.

It’s not you, It’s him. How about that meeting?

Oh yeah. That Al-Anon meeting.

“Step One: Powerless over people, places, and things. My life has become unmanageable.” Take a deep breath. Say it again. Then say it one more time.

Detach in love. Disentangle. Un-embroil yourself from other people’s insanity so you can be restored to sanity. It’s a value many of us learned the hard way.

From the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie  
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