DAILY ZEN #essentialsofrecovery

What people expect to happen is always different from what actually happens. From this comes great disappointment; this is the way the world works.

-Sutra Piñata

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ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

MARCH

“March is the month of expectation, The things we do not know,
The ‘Persons of Prognostication’ are coming now.

~ Emily Dickinson ~

I’m not sure whether it’s because I’m embroiled at the moment in working the Steps I love so much … or whether the beginnings of Springtime are beginning to happen … but there is a feeling that I have that “something” is beginning. The long winters of life have taken their toll on me and when I experience this awesome feeling of hope I am grateful.

If there were doubts of the promises coming true, March overshadows them. If the Spring and Summer times of program loomed large in the distance, they are no longer. Just the smell of a new Spring morning is enough to know that hope for spiritual, emotional and physical wellness abounds.

One day at a time …

I must forget the winters of my life and hold on to the promises of March … and of my Twelve Step program.

~ Mari ~ 

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrecovery

EXPECTATIONS vs. DEMANDS

Burn the idea into the consciousness of ever, man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98 ~

Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings. It isn’t wrong to expect progress of myself, good things from life, or decent treatment from others. Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and situations will go in ways I do not like, because people will let me down sometimes. The only question is: “What am I going to do about it?” Wallow in self-pity or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or will I trust in God’s power to bring blessings on the messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things I know how to do, no matter what; do I take time to share my faith and blessings with others?

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc 

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Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Amends Without Expectations

“Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.”

Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we’ve harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we’re likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we’re hoping we’ll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

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A Day At A Time #essentialsofrec

Reflection For The Day

Today I’ll try to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to not only accept it but to appreciate it.  Today, I’ll not expect too much of anyone — especially myself.  I’ll try to remember that contentment comes from gratefully accepting the good that comes to us, and not from being furious at life because it’s not “better.”  Do I realize the difference between resignation and realistic acceptance?

Today I Pray

May I not set my sights unrealistically high, expect too much.  May I look backwards long enough to see that my self-set, impossible goals were the trappings of my addiction;  too often I ended up halfway there, confronted by my own failure.  Those “foiled-again,” “I’ve-failed-again” feelings became monumental excuses to give in to my compulsion, which blanketed my miseries.  May I avoid that sick old pattern.  May I be realistic.

Today I Will Remember

Good is good enough. 

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Today’s Gift. #expectations #Future #Recovery

I’m delighted that the future is unsure. That’s the way it should be. 

–William Sloane Coffin

Some of life’s richest moments are the most unexpected: the old friend met by chance, or the new one discovered when neither of us were really looking; the toy at the bottom of the toy box, rediscovered and loved anew; the book, the flower, the shaft of light we were in the right place at the right time to notice and embrace.
It is important to dream and plan, to work toward goals, to mark the milestones we pass on life’s journey. No less important, though, is to open ourselves to the unexpected joys awaiting us every day.


Am I ready, today, to expect the unexpected?

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One Day At A Time #essentalsofrec #expectations #Recovery #OA

EXPECTATIONS

“The best thing about the future
is that it only comes one day at a time.”

Abraham Lincoln

Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from the premise that If I did something then the following would be the outcome and maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of relationships and people it certainly doesn’t work like that as I have discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book “serenity is inversely proportional to one’s expectations” and I know now how true this is.

Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once again that things don’t turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are meant to.

One day at a time…

When I let go of any expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my serenity and the situation turns out the way it’s supposed to.

~ Sharon S.

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The Eye Opener #essentialsofrec #Expectations #Recovery

Many of us came into AA either in middle life or beyond and feel that with our reasonable life expectancy, it is practically impossible to atone for our previous wrong actions. The thief at the Crucifixion probably thought the same thing but, by one single act, he brought the promise that “this day, thou shalt be with me in Paradise.”

Hazelden Foundation

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EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Results

DON’T PROJECT
What we anticipate seldom occurs. What we least expected generally happens.
~ Disraeli ~

We are not in the business of getting results. It’s easy and simple to plan results. It’s not so easy to just plan and not expect results.

When we think a plan of ours will bring us and mankind all sorts of payoff, we are playing god again. When our plan doesn’t turn out the way we expected, we put ourselves in danger of feeling hopeless. This can lead to relapse.

We remember the past only for what its lessons have taught us about living today. If yesterday was spent in planning how today was supposed to turn out, we will usually be disappointed in today. Today hardly ever turns out the way we had planned or expected it to turn out.

My plans for the future must stay hopes and possibilities. No matter how far I fall short of my plans, I must accept the results with serenity. I will work at making plans, but I won’t plan the results.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden.

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Happiness

A great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness.

—Fontenelle

Our disease is sometimes call the disease of “always wanting more.”
We push ourselves to get as much pleasure as we could. If one was good , two was better.
We didn’t see that what we were lacking was faith.
At times in recovery, we still crave “more.”
We must pay attention to these cravings. When we have a craving, maybe we’re scared, and our Higher Power is trying to tell us that, if we have faith, we’ll be taken care of. Perhaps our Higher Power just has a message of love for us. All we need to do is listen. It may be that this is only “more” we really need.

Prayer for the Day: I pray to see my as spiritual needs. I pray to turn to my Higher Power instead of to alcohol or other drugs.


Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think about how much recovery has given me. I will share this with a friend and with my Higher Power.

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Expectations #Learning

To make the world a friendly place One must show it a friendly face.

–James Whitcomb Riley
We are beginning to learn that we get what we expect. Why? If we believe that people are out to get us, we’ll not treat them well. We will think it’s okay to “get them” before they “get us.” Then, they’ll be angry and want to get even. And on it goes. It’s great when we can meet the world with a balance. We are honest people. We can expect others to be fair with us. We get the faith, strength, and courage to do this because of our trust in our Higher Power.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, I put my life in Your care. Use me to spread Your love to others.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll spread friendliness. I will greet people with a smile.

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrec #demands #Inventory

EXPECTATIONS vs. DEMANDS

Burn the idea into the consciousness of ever, man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.

~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 98 

Dealing with expectations is a frequent topic at meetings. It isn’t wrong to expect progress of myself, good things from life, or decent treatment from others. Where I get into trouble is when my expectations become demands. I will fall short of what I wish to be and situations will go in ways I do not like, because people will let me down sometimes. The only question is: “What am I going to do about it?” Wallow in self-pity or anger; retaliate and make a bad situation worse; or will I trust in God’s power to bring blessings on the messes in which I find myself? Will I ask Him what I should be learning; do I keep on doing the right things I know how to do, no matter what; do I take time to share my faith and blessings with others?

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc

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Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Amends Without Expectations

“Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.”

Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we’ve harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we’re likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we’re hoping we’ll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Amends Without Expectations

“Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.”

Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we’ve harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we’re likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we’re hoping we’ll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

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Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

EXPECTATIONS

“The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time.”
–Abraham Lincoln

Being a rational, logical person I have always worked from the premise that If I did something then the following would be the outcome and maybe in the scientific world that may have been true. But in the real world of relationships and people it certainly doesn’t work like that as I have discovered since coming into program. As it says in the Big Book “serenity is inversely proportional to one’s expectations” and I know now how true this is.

Just recently after having set a boundary with my son I was expecting all sorts of repercussions and imagined him trying to talk me out of my decision and the result was that I lost my serenity and became really anxious. Of course the truth was nowhere like I had imagined and the situation ended very differently from what I had expected. This was a lesson to me once again that things don’t turn out the way we expect them to but the way they are meant to.

One day at a time…
When I let go of any expectations I have of how a situation is going to turn out, I get to keep my serenity and the situation turns out the way it’s supposed to.

~ Sharon S. 

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Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrecovery

DON’T PROJECT

What we anticipate seldom occurs. What we least expected generally happens.

~ Disraeli ~

We are not in the business of getting results. It’s easy and simple to plan results. It’s not so easy to just plan and not expect results.

When we think a plan of ours will bring us and mankind all sorts of payoff, we are playing god again. When our plan doesn’t turn out the way we expected, we put ourselves in danger of feeling hopeless. This can lead to relapse.

We remember the past only for what its lessons have taught us about living today. If yesterday was spent in planning how today was supposed to turn out, we will usually be disappointed in today. Today hardly ever turns out the way we had planned or expected it to turn out.

My plans for the future must stay hopes and possibilities. No matter how far I fall short of my plans, I must accept the results with serenity. I will work at making plans, but I won’t plan the results.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden. 

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Amends Without Expectations

“Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.”

Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we’ve harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we’re likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we’re hoping we’ll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

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Just For Today #essentialsofrec

Expectations

“As we realize our need to be forgiven, we tend to be more forgiving.”

Basic Text, p.38

Our behavior toward other people in our life is a mirror of our behavior toward ourselves. When we demand perfection of ourselves, we come to demand it from others around us, too. As we strive to repair and heal our lives in recovery, we may also expect others to work just as hard and to recover at the same pace as we do. And just as we are often unforgiving of our own mistakes, we may shut out friends and family members when they don’t meet our expectations.

Working the steps helps us understand our own limitations and our humanity. We come to see our failures as human mistakes. We realize that we will never be perfect, that we will, at times, disappoint ourselves and others. We hope for forgiveness.

As we learn to gently accept ourselves, we can start to view others with the same accepting and tolerant heart. These people, too, are only human, trying to do their best and sometimes falling short.

Just for today: I will treat others with the tolerance and forgiveness I seek for myself. 

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Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Amends Without Expectations

“Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.”

Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we’ve harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we’re likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we’re hoping we’ll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Amends Without Expectations

“Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing.”

Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we’ve harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we’re likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we’re hoping we’ll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can’t plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery