A WOMAN’S SPIRIT #essentialsofrec #Sharing #Women

I can’t expect you to share yourself if I can’t do the same.

~ Cathy Stone 

We have been told we benefit from sharing our stories with others. However, most of us have shared intimate details of our lives in the past, only to have them repeated all over town. We may have decided that nothing was safe to share.

Now we are asked once again to share our secrets. What seems even stranger is that we’re asked to tell them to people whose last names we don’t even know. How crazy this seems when we first enter a Twelve Step program. Until we do it, however, we will not reap the benefits that are in store. We can only discover how like others we really are by telling them about us and then listening while they share similar stories. The intimacy that follows transforms our lives. Our time for self-disclosure has come. Let’s rejoice and reap the rewards.

I will tell a trusted friend who I really am today. I can count on affirmation and acceptance if I choose my friend well.

© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation

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Today's Gift

Taking Care of Ourselves

It’s healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That’s different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior – a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized – because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.

Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don’t.

Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.

But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.

Today, I will evaluate whether I’ve slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another’s feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.

From the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

                                    The Language of Letting Go © 1990 by Hazelden Foundation

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Care

  8
September


I have an intense desire to return to the womb—Anybody’s !

—Woody Allen

Some days the world just doesn’t seem safe. Maybe a friend died and your are hurting.

Maybe you argued with a loved one. You just want somebody to take care of you. You want to feel safe and warm.

Turn to the spiritual part of the program. Let your Higher Power hold you with warm, loving care. Pray. Pray to feel the programs will find you. Why? Because you’ve opened your heart to recovery. To be loved, you have to open up to love.

Prayer for the Day: I pray for an open heart. I pray that love of the program will find me and comfort me. Higher Power, I need Your love as a child needs the love of parents.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll list three times the world has felt unsafe. I’ll meditate on how things would have been different if I had turned to my Higher Power for comfort.

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Today’s Gift from Hazelden #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Self-Care

15
 June

Taking Care of Ourselves
It’s healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That’s different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self-defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior – a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized – because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.

Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don’t.

Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.

But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.

Today, I will evaluate whether I’ve slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another’s feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.

From the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

The Language of Letting Go © 1990 by Hazelden Foundation

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec