18
October
WHEN CONFLICTS MOUNT, p. 289
Sometimes I would be forced to look at situations where I was doing badly. Right away, the search for excuses would become frantic.
“These,” I would exclaim, “are really a good man’s faults.” When that pet gadget broke apart, I would think, “Well, if those people would only treat me right, I wouldn’t have to behave the way I do.” Next was this: “God well knows that I do have awful compulsions. I just can’t get over this one. So He will have to release me.” At last came the time when I would shout, “This, I positively will not do! I won’t even try.”
Of course, my conflicts went right on mounting, because I was simply loaded with excuses, refusals, and outright rebellion
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