May
“Resentment is the ‘number one’ offender. It destroys more alcoholics than anything else.”
– Alcoholics Anonymous, Third Edition, 1976, Ch 5, p 64
Today, admitting that I may have little success in letting go of all my resentments, I re-examine that defect of character to identify what or who I resent – and why. If I resent or envy others who can drink or I cannot accept the rest of my life without drinking, my resentment is likely against the condition of alcoholism or addiction – in which case I have fallen short in admitting I am powerless. I may resent that something stronger than me – alcohol – is what I cannot control. Or I may resent the ex-boss or estranged spouse or partner who will not rehire or come back to me even if I have stopped drinking. But whatever or whoever I resent, the reasons are likely that I cannot control what controls me, or that I will never again have the ability to drink or that my self-esteem and ego have been bruised by rejection. In the end, if the root of my resentments is grounded in the disease of alcoholism, I need to again try to fully surrender that I have no control over it and, instead of battling addiction, I will embrace being clean and sober. Today, instead of a recovering drunk I proclaim I am a sober-holic. And our common journey continues.
Today, admitting that I may have little success in letting go of all my resentments, I re-examine that defect of character to identify what or who I resent – and why. If I resent or envy others who can drink or I cannot accept the rest of my life without drinking, my resentment is likely against the condition of alcoholism or addiction – in which case I have fallen short in admitting I am powerless. I may resent that something stronger than me – alcohol – is what I cannot control. Or I may resent the ex-boss or estranged spouse or partner who will not rehire or come back to me even if I have stopped drinking. But whatever or whoever I resent, the reasons are likely that I cannot control what controls me, or that I will never again have the ability to drink or that my self-esteem and ego have been bruised by rejection. In the end, if the root of my resentments is grounded in the disease of alcoholism, I need to again try to fully surrender that I have no control over it and, instead of battling addiction, I will embrace being clean and sober. Today, instead of a recovering drunk I proclaim I am a sober-holic. And our common journey continues.
Step by step. – Chris M.
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