Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrec #Gossip #Faults #Recovery

The problem of Gossip
Breaking free from faults.

Our character defects hand on tenaciously because we secretly enjoy or need them. Gossip is an example of this problem. Most of us know that gossip is mean and malicious, yet we enjoy the spurious self-satisfaction and self-importance it gives us.

However, this feeling of self-satisfaction and self-importance is fleeting. When we engage in GOSSIP, we feel guilty, uneasy, and ashamed. We also know the fear of being gossiped about when our own backs are turned, because those who gossip will betray their friends.

Our search for real growth in sobriety should include wiliness to part company with gossip. We also should not permit ourselves to gossip indirectly; that is, by pretending to “understand” another person to induce them to share personal information, or by introducing a subject with the intention of having gossip shared with us. We can also help ourselves by turning away from gossipy news stories and magazines. We cannot grow mentally and spiritually by reading about the misbehavior and shortcomings of others.

Knowing that my true good is in keeping straight, I will go through this one day without engaging in gossip.

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A DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the “why’s” of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation 

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A DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrec #Faults #Inventory #Others

Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the “why’s” of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation

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Daily Zen #essentialsofrecovery

He who treads the Path in earnest Sees not the mistakes of the world; If we find fault with others We ourselves are also in the wrong.

- The Sutra of Hui Neng

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrecovery

Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues.

— Hugh Prather

Before recovery, we saw only a blurry picture of ourselves, like we were looking through an out-of-focus camera lens. We couldn’t see the good in ourselves because we wouldn’t look close enough.

Step Four helps us look more closely. We see a picture of ourselves, with our good points and our faults. We don’t like everything we see. But we can’t change until we accept ourselves as we are.

Then we can start getting ready to change.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see the good in me and love myself.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll make a list of four of my good points and four of my faults. Am I getting to have my Higher Power remove these defects of character? 

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

FAULT FINDING

“When You Look For The Bad In Mankind Expecting To Find It, You Surely Will.”

—Abraham Lincoln

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got.” It seemed as though I spent half a lifetime discovering the faults in others. I used this information as a tool or weapon against them when the need would arise, or if I needed a victory to feel superior when I was feeling low. How very sick. It took me a long time to learn that all of us have weaknesses; it’s part of being an imperfect human being. We also have strengths and talents, sometimes waiting to be discovered. My job now is to search for the good in others, to overlook the pettiness, to understand that they are still growing and becoming. I am also to practice ongoing forgiveness, for them as well as for myself, to remember that God is still spiritually creating us all in His image.

One Day at a Time …

Have I quit fault finding others? Myself? God?

Jeremiah 

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Daily Zen #essentialsofrecovery

The Four Faults:

The teachings speak of four faults, which prevent us from realizing the nature of mind right now.

1. The nature of minds is too close to be recognized. Just as we are unable to see our own face, mind finds it difficult to look into it's own nature.

2. It is too profound for us to fathom. We have no idea how deep it could be; if we did, we would have already, to a certain extent, realized it.

3. It is too easy for us to believe. In reality all, we need do is simply to rest in the naked, pure awareness of the nature of mind, which is always present.

4. It is too wonderful for us to accommodate, The sheer immensity of it is too vast to fit into our narrow way of thinking. We just can't believe it. Nor can we possibly imagine that enlightenment is the real nature of our minds.

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FAULT FINDING

“When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will.”

~ Abraham Lincoln ~

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous says, “To conclude that others were wrong was as far as most of us ever got.” It seemed as though I spent half a lifetime discovering the faults in others. I used this information as a tool or weapon against them when the need would arise, or if I needed a victory to feel superior when I was feeling low. How very sick. It took me a long time to learn that all of us have weaknesses; it’s part of being an imperfect human being. We also have strengths and talents, sometimes waiting to be discovered. My job now is to search for the good in others, to overlook the pettiness, to understand that they are still growing and becoming. I am also to practice ongoing forgiveness, for them as well as for myself, to remember that God is still spiritually creating us all in His image.

One Day at a Time . . .

Have I quit fault finding others? Myself? God?

~ Jeremiah  

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EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrecovery

FAULT-FINDING

I’m slipping when I begin taking another person’s inventory, not mine.

~ Anonymous 

It seems so much easier to live someone else’s life than it is to live our own. We can see someone else’s faults much more clearly than our own. We can tell someone else how to correct a character defect, and not work on our own. It is easier to take someone else’s inventory than it is to take our own. These are all clues to why we have had so much trouble in our lives.

These things are all danger signs. Our very best thinking got us into this Fellowship. Most of us earned our seats around the table by totally mismanaging the affairs of our lives. We have enough on our plates trying to sort out the will of our Higher Power in our own lives. We have no business trying to run anyone else’s.

If I persist in trying to live another person’s life, I am likely to stop my spiritual progress. Let me remember to keep tabs on my own faults and let others take care of their own.

©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden 

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Seeing Ourselves In Others

“It will not make us better people to judge the faults of another.”

Basic Text, p.37

How easy it is to point out the faults of others! There’s a reason for this: The defects we identify most easily in others are often the defects we are most familiar with in our own characters. We may notice our best friend’s tendency to spend too much money, but if we examine our own spending habits we’ll probably find the same compulsiveness. We may decide our sponsor is much too involved in service, but find that we haven’t spent a single weekend with our families in the past three months because of one service commitment or another.

What we dislike in our fellows are often those things we dislike most in ourselves. We can turn this observation to our spiritual advantage. When we are stricken with the impulse to judge someone else, we can redirect the impulse in such a way as to recognize our own defects more clearly. What we see will guide our actions toward recovery and help us become emotionally healthy and happy individuals.

Just for today: I will look beyond the character defects of others and recognize my own. 

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Father Leo’s Daily Meditation #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Character

28
August 

CHARACTER


“A man never discloses his own character so clearly as when he describes another’s.”

– Johann Paul Richter

I was always so perceptive when it came to assessing the character faults of others. I could offer the best therapy and treatment to others; the best advice in the world. I was excellent at “pulling the covers” on a con-man — but always I missed me! I never really heard my insights. I never followed my advice. I always minimized my character faults.

Usually what I saw in others was reflected in my own personality. The things I loathed in others existed in me. The anger and resentments came from a denial of self.

In sobriety I hear the advice of others. I don’t always like it but I hear it. I give criticism and today I am growing in my acceptance of criticism.

In relationships may I see clearly my own reflection.

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18
August



Reflection for the Day

Looking back, I realize just how much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. It provided much self-satisfaction, to be sure, but I see now just how subtle and actually perverse the process became. After all was said and done, the net effect of dwelling on the so-called faults of others was self-granted permission to remain comfortably unaware of my own defects. Do I still point my finger at others and thus self-deceptively overlook my own shortcomings?

Today I Pray

May I see that my preoccupation with the faults of others is really a smokescreen to keep me from taking a hard look at my own, as well as a way to bolster my own failing ego. May I check out the “why’s” of my blaming.

Today I Will Remember

Blame-saying is game-playing.

From the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

A Day at a Time © 1989 by Hazelden Foundation

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Change #Virtues

28
April


Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues.

— Hugh Prather

Before recovery, we saw only a blurry picture of ourselves, like we were looking through an out-of-focus camera lens. We couldn’t see the good in ourselves because we wouldn’t look close enough.

Step Four helps us look more closely. We see a picture of ourselves, with our good points and our faults. We don’t like everything we see. But we can’t change until we accept ourselves as we are.

Then we can start getting ready to change.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see the good in me and love myself.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll make a list of four of my good points and four of my faults. Am I getting to have my Higher Power remove these defects of character?

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The Eye Opener #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #God #Failure

13
February

No election is won or lost until all the votes are in. On that occasion when we felt all was lost, that we had utterly failed and despaired of help from any source, we found the doors of our Fellowship and learned the underlying causes of our failure.

It was the admission of our failure, our complete inability to manage our lives, that opened the door to the greatest blessing. Over and beyond sobriety, through happiness and peace of mind, we finally found a conscious contact with a God of our own understanding.

Copyright Hazelden Foundation

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As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrecovery.com #Recovery #Faults

 13
February 

Daily Acceptance, p. 44

“Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction, which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects. Too often we are heard to say, ‘If it weren’t for him (or her), how happy I’d be!”

<< << << >> >> >>

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.

Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy or defeatism, they can be the sure foundation upon which increased emotional heath and therefore spiritual progress can be built.

1. Letter, 1966

2. Grapevine, March 1962

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 5
January


The problem of Gossip

Breaking free from faults.

Our character defects hand on tenaciously because we secretly enjoy or need them. Gossip is an example of this problem. Most of us know that gossip is mean and malicious, yet we enjoy the spurious self-satisfaction and self-importance it gives us.

However, this feeling of self-satisfaction and self-importance is fleeting. When we engage in GOSSIP, we feel guilty, uneasy, and ashamed. We also know the fear of being gossiped about when our own backs are turned, because those who gossip will betray their friends.

Our search for real growth in sobriety should include wiliness to part company with gossip. We also should not permit ourselves to gossip indirectly; that is, by pretending to “understand” another person to induce them to share personal information, or by introducing a subject with the intention of having gossip shared with us. We can also help ourselves by turning away from gossipy news stories and magazines. We cannot grow mentally and spiritually by reading about the misbehavior and shortcomings of others.

Knowing that my true good is in keeping straight, I will go through this one day without engaging in gossip.


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