November
WILLINGNESS
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it then you are ready to take certain steps.
~ Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous
Willingness was one of the hardest concepts to get through my disease thinking. I was only willing to have my disease cured so I could continue indulging in my allergic substances of choice. According to the dictionary, the definition of will is “the power of choosing what one will do” and “willing, favorably inclined; ready.” My disease was in control and chose for me.
I didn’t want to stay stuck in the food. Then I found this program. Still, I had trouble with the concept of willingness. Then I relapsed, but the food didn’t cure anything. This program, like the Big Book says, had ruined it for me. So, when I found some online recovery loops I found renewed hope. Hope led me to learning about willingness from others’ sharing. Then I figured, ok God, I don’t want to give up the allergic substances, they are too strongly imbedded in my fibers, but I am willing to ask You to grant me the willingness to let go of those substances that aren’t healthy for me.
I kept up this prayer for weeks. One day I discovered that it had been a week since I had thought about or eaten one of those allergic substances. I figured this must be what was meant by God doing for me what I can’t do for myself. So I changed my prayer and asked God to keep making me willing, just for today, to go without those foods. It is working, not because of me, but because I was finally ready to ask for willingness. As the saying goes, “Try it, you’ll like it!” I tried it and I liked the results… A God-given abstinence. Now, as I go about my day, it’s becoming easier to be willing to turn more and more of my will over to the God of my understanding.
One Day at a Time . . .
I will go to the God of my understanding and ask for the willingness to live according to His will for me; so that I may have a life, and not self-will run riot.
~ Judy
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