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THE FEAR OF LONELINESS

Raising Self-Esteem

The fear of being alone brings strange results. It may cause us to cling to arrangements and relationships that are unsatisfactory or destructive. Some of us become enablers for loved ones who are still drinking; quite often this can involve putting up with abuse we shouldn’t have to endure.

We endure such relationships because we fear we’ll be alone and defenseless without them. We may even put up with friends who are manipulative or treacherous because we can’t visualize having happier, healthier friendships.

When we recognize that we are holding on to unsatisfactory relationships for such reasons, we need to apply the program more diligently in our own lives. Usually, we need more self-esteem—a belief that we deserve satisfactory relationships. We do not have to be alone, but neither do we have to endure what amounts to abuse and rejection.

Whether I’m with people or alone today, I’ll know that all of my relationships should be satisfactory for everybody involved. I’ll let my Higher Power guide me to the relationships that are right for me.

© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation

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