IS IT REALLY HONESTY?
Honesty No matter how cruel the results, the need to criticize others can be a compulsion. Such criticism is sometimes justified by the defence “Well, I had to be honest” or “It was only the truth.”
But is it really honesty to gratuitously bring out a hurtful truth? Not when the critic’s real motives are to wound and humiliate someone, not to foster self-improvement and better behaviour. Under those circumstances, the critic is really the dishonest person—for not having detected the ugly personal motives that triggered the criticism.
Honesty is closely related to humility, and the truly honest person is usually humbly aware of personal shortcomings in his or her own life. This alone makes the honest person reluctant to criticize and always careful to do it in ways that avoid inflicting pain or hurt.
Real honesty is rare, especially in people who hurt others under the guise of honesty.
With God’s help, I’ll look carefully at my motives today. It’s possible that I could be using honesty as an excuse for putting others down.
© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation
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