Fine friendship requires duration rather than fitful intensity.
— Aristotle
Once we have embarked upon this program, we find spiritual recovery through relationships more than any other single factor. We find it through relationships with other people, with ourselves, and with our Higher Power. But most of us in recovery need to learn how to be in a relationship. We have to give up ideas that a friendship is an intense connection or a conflict-free blending of like minds.
A meaningful friendship is a long-term dialogue. If there is conflict or if we make a mistake or fail to do what our friend wants of us, we don’t end the friendship. We simply have the next exchange to resolve the differences. Our dialogue continues over time, and time – along with many amends – builds the bond. With it develops a deepening sense of reliability and trusting one another. When we have lived with our friend through many experiences – or with our Higher Power – we gain a feeling that we really know him or her in a way we could never have in a brief intense connection.
Today, I will do what I need to do to be reliable in my friendships.
From the book:
Touchstones ©1986, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation
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