GRATITUDE
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “Thank you,” that would suffice.
~ Meister Eckhart
I spent most of my life blaming my circumstances and those around me for the way I felt, for my eating problem and for my terrible life in general. There was nothing good in my life at all and I viewed everything through a dark cloud of negativity. I couldn’t see anything good in my life, and life became totally unbearable. Poor me, I thought. It really wasn’t fair that I had been made to suffer the way I had, and I felt awash with self-pity. The more sorry I felt for myself, the more I ate, and the more I ate, the worse I felt; it became a vicious circle.
When I was brought to my knees by this disease and came into the fellowship, I was forced to take stock and look honestly at my life. For the first time ever I considered the losses and difficult situations in my life that I had perceived as unfair and negative. In each case there had been amazing gains. For example, the car accident I’d been in hadn’t been my fault at all. In fact, it became the catalyst that enabled me to change careers. One of the bereavements that I had brought a wonderful and special friend into my life. And so it went. Before, I had bemoaned my fate as a compulsive overeater. Now, I am actually grateful to be a compulsive overeater, because without my disease I never would have a wonderful program that helps me to live my life sanely and serenely, nor would I have all the very special people who love and support me through thick and thin.
One Day at a Time . . .
I am grateful for all the wonderful miracles that have happened in my life as a result of this program … may I never forget to thank my Higher Power for all these wonderful blessings.
~ Sharon S.
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GRATITUDE
If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, “Thank you,” that would suffice.
~ Meister Eckhart
I spent most of my life blaming my circumstances and those around me for the way I felt, for my eating problem and for my terrible life in general. There was nothing good in my life at all and I viewed everything through a dark cloud of negativity. I couldn’t see anything good in my life, and life became totally unbearable. Poor me, I thought. It really wasn’t fair that I had been made to suffer the way I had, and I felt awash with self-pity. The more sorry I felt for myself, the more I ate, and the more I ate, the worse I felt; it became a vicious circle.
When I was brought to my knees by this disease and came into the fellowship, I was forced to take stock and look honestly at my life. For the first time ever I considered the losses and difficult situations in my life that I had perceived as unfair and negative. In each case there had been amazing gains. For example, the car accident I’d been in hadn’t been my fault at all. In fact, it became the catalyst that enabled me to change careers. One of the bereavements that I had brought a wonderful and special friend into my life. And so it went. Before, I had bemoaned my fate as a compulsive overeater. Now, I am actually grateful to be a compulsive overeater, because without my disease I never would have a wonderful program that helps me to live my life sanely and serenely, nor would I have all the very special people who love and support me through thick and thin.
One Day at a Time . . .
I am grateful for all the wonderful miracles that have happened in my life as a result of this program … may I never forget to thank my Higher Power for all these wonderful blessings.
~ Sharon S.
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GRATITUDE
It is good to say thank you to the Lord, to sing praises to the God who is above all gods … He is my shelter. There is nothing but goodness in Him!
~ The Bible, Book of Psalms ~
Since I first walked into these rooms, I was welcomed with open arms. Everyone said, “Welcome home.” In my gut I felt welcomed into the fellowship, but only now, after years of accepting it, do I finally get it.
Who is this God everyone is saying cares about us? I felt God was too busy creating and managing the universe to concentrate on any one individual, let alone each and every one of us. Now, I don’t know how anyone else acted while in the clutches of their disease, but I do know how I reacted. I was not a very nice person to be around. If you said the sky was blue, I would say it was black. Nothing was right in my world and I refused to trust anyone or anything; I was rebellious. That is how I treated God! I dared God to fix me, to take away my desire for food, to come into my life so I would know it.
Well, people told me God meets you where you are. I learned the hard way that God does reveal Himself to you in whatever way works for you. For me that has been by learning to listen to people share in meetings and verbally state what God has been trying to get through my thick skull. When I read program literature, I hear little voices of recovering people speak of how God is doing for them what they couldn’t do for themselves. I watch people in recovery living a new kind of life, in which they are participants. I learn from them how to live rather then bouncing off the walls because I only reacted to life. I am beginning to see all the little things that I have been given from God through my interactions with fellow compulsive overeaters. My soul feels welcomed in this fellowship. I feel I have a new family in which to heal my wounds from my family of origin. I am filled with immense gratitude to a God that cares enough about each and everyone of us.
One day at a time…
I will stop and take inventory of all the blessings I receive, each and every day, from a loving, supportive fellowship and a God of my understanding who loves me enough to put up with all my baggage.
A fellow traveler
Judith
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Gratefully Recovering
“We entertained the thought that staying clean was not paying off and the old thinking stirred up self-pity, resentment, and anger.”
~ Basic Text pg. 98
There are days when some of us wallow in self-pity. It’s easy to do. We may have expectations about how our lives should be in recovery, expectations that aren’t always met. Maybe we’ve tried unsuccessfully to control someone, or we think our circumstances should be different. Perhaps we’ve compared ourselves with other recovering addicts and found ourselves lacking. The more we try to make our life conform to our expectations, the more uncomfortable we feel. Self-pity can arise from living in our expectations instead of in the world as it actually is.
When the world doesn’t measure up to our expectations, it’s often our expectations that need adjusting, not the world. We can start by comparing our lives today with the way they used to be, developing gratitude for our recovery. We can extend this exercise in gratitude by counting the good things in our lives, becoming thankful that the world does not conform to our expectations but exceeds them. And if we continue working the Twelve Steps, further cultivating gratitude and acceptance, what we can expect in the future is more growth, more happiness, and more peace of mind.
We’ve been given much in recovery; staying clean has paid off. Acceptance of our lives, just for today, frees us from our self-pity.
Just for today: I will accept my life, gratefully, just as it is.
© 1991 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services Inc
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