No Humiliation in Humility
Self-understanding.
With few exceptions, every alcoholic eventually meets humiliation and defeat. This is especially painful in a world that places high value on winning and on having the approval and admiration of others. We feel diminished by these defeats. Nobody likes to be humbled, to be made to appear less than other people.
Yet these humiliations serve a constructive purpose if they lead us to seek humility. Truly humble people cannot really be humiliated, because they no longer rely on the false supports of worldly praise and approval. We develop humility as we withdraw from a reliance on our own powers and personality and realize that we ourselves can do nothing; it is our Higher Power who does the work.
Still, there is a paradox in humility. The person who admits he or she can do nothing will, in the process, tap into powers that were never available in the previous state of mind. In truth, humility is never humiliation or weakness, though these may lead to it. Humility is really a road to the power that only God can give us.
I’ll watch myself today for the crazy things that set me up for humiliation. I won’t try to impress others or win their admiration today.
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Do you want to understand? The whole world is one of your eyes, the body produced by your parents is a cataract. All ordinary people ignore the indestructible, marvelously clear, unfailingly mirroring eye, and cling fast to the dust cataract produced by the relationship of their father and mother. Therefore they take illusions for realities, and grasp at reflections as the physical forms themselves.
-P'u-an
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Meeting needs in the Right Way.
Self-Understanding.
Bizarre as it is, the bad behavior of drunkenness has an underlying logic when it’s really understood.
Why, for example, would people squander money buying drinks for total strangers when their families are going without?
This is an insane way of meeting needs for intimacy and approval. It’s true that these needs will never be met in this fashion, but try telling that to a person who is still drinking!
In recovery, we can more easily forgive ourselves for past actions when we realize they came out of a misguided attempt to meet basic needs. A starving person will seek out garbage. Starved as we were for necessities of life, we sought a form of garbage. The good news in AA recovery is that sobriety will help us meet basic needs in the right way.
I’ll keep in mind today that as a human being I have certain needs that should be met in proper ways.
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Am I Special?
Self-understanding
An early professional believed that alcoholics get into trouble because they thought they were SPECIAL. Thinking we’re special certainly creates all sorts of problems.
It’s true that every person is special in that no two people are exactly alike. But we’re also part of the human race, and we are bound by the general limitations that apply to everyone. We got into trouble partly because we thought we were special and could break universal commonsense rules.
When we stop thinking of ourselves as special, we also become more teachable. We learn more frm the experiences of others. Then we realize that we’re both special and generic, and we use his knowledge for self-improvement rather than self-destruction.
I’ll remember today that I’m special in certain ways, but that I’m also part of the human race and subject to things that apply to everyone.
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