Showing posts with label Wrongs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wrongs. Show all posts

Friday, 29 April 2022

Keep It Simple #essentialsofrecovery




I’m as pure as the driven slush.

–Tallulad Bankhead

The Steps are filled with words and phrases like shortcomings, exact nature of our wrongs, persons we had harmed, and when we were wrong. The Steps help us accept all parts of who we are.

Our program asks us to share these parts of ourselves with others. We heal by doing this.

It’s hard to talk about how wrong we can be, but we must. It’s part of how we recover.

Remember, all of us have bad points. At times, we act like jerks. When we can talk about our mistakes, we end up having less shame inside of us.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to love and accept myself—as You love and accept me. Give me the courage to share all my secret wrongs.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll review my Fourth Step. If I haven’t done this Step, I’ll start today. 
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Friday, 8 September 2017

Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrecovery

Admitting a Wrong
Inventory.


It is all but impossible for some people to make the simple admission, I was wrong. We might have a problem with such admissions because we tend to believe that they place us at a disadvantage.

The reality is that the sooner we can admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong means making more of the same mistakes, thus bringing further harm to ourselves and others.

We may have trouble admitting a wrong because we once faced excessive punishments when we were found wrong. We can find our true course by realizing that admission of our wrongs is the route to well-being and improvement.

I’ll continue to take every opportunity to learn when I might be wrong, thus helping to avoid such mistakes in the future.
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Thursday, 10 November 2016

WALK IN DRY PLACES #essentialsofrecovery

HONESTY WITH ANOTHER PERSON

Admitting Wrongs

A good Fifth Step in the program means being entirely honest with at least one person about the nature of our shortcomings. “A burden shared is a burden cut in half” is the principle behind this action.

We can feel relieved that the Twelve Step program specifically limits this sharing to “another person”—though we can obviously add to that if we choose. However, we must be sure to share honestly with that one person, being careful not to gloss over this important Step.

What is the result of this honest sharing? At the very least, it helps us lose the fear that people might know us as we really are. It helps us face the world with confidence and perhaps new humility. Moreover, it can strengthen our ability to stay sober. All these gains are certainly reward enough.

If I haven’t been honest with at least one other person, I’ll reread the Fifth Step today. This is something that should be done for my own future safety and well-being.

© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation 
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Sunday, 16 October 2016

EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrecovery


ADMITTING WRONGS

A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

~ Alexander Pope

No one can grow spiritually until they have cleared their conscience and gained the respect and forgiveness of others by admitting their wrongs. Only by wiping the slate clean can we free ourselves of the constant painful reminders of acts and words which have left us with regrets, guilt, and shame. Of course, we can’t be free of thoughts about the past until we have learned, through thorough inventories, the nature of our mistakes.

Our admission of wrongdoing may help others understand us better, but the person most benefited from the admission is us. The process of admitting wrongs assures us that we have accepted honesty as an asset we need in our new way of life.

The sooner I admit my mistakes, the easier they are to correct. Let me promptly admit it when I am wrong.

©1990 by Anonymous, Published by Hazelden 
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Monday, 10 October 2016

DAILY ZEN #essentialsofrecovery

Abandon wrongdoing. It can be done. If there were no likelihood, I would not ask you to do it. But since it is possible and since it brings blessing and happiness, I do ask of you: abandon wrongdoing.

Cultivate doing good. It can be done. If it brought deprivation and sorrow, I would not ask you to do it. But since it brings blessing and happiness, I do ask of you: cultivate doing good.



-Anguttara Nikaya
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Sunday, 2 October 2016

KEEP IT SIMPLE #essentialsofrecovery



. . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

~ Second half of Step Ten ~

We are human. We make mistakes. This is half the fun of being human. Step Ten clearly tell us what to do when we are wrong: admit it. This keeps us honest. It keeps us from hiding secrets that could cause us to use alcohol or other drugs again.

Trust the gift we get from Step Ten. When we admit our wrongs, people start to trust us again. We feel good, and people feel good being around us. Even when they don’t like how we act, they can trust us to run our lives. No one will ever be prefect. The closet we get is that we admit it when we’re wrong. This is as good as it gets.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me admit my wrongs. Help me earn the trust of others by being honest about my mistakes.

Action for the Day

I will list any wrongs I’ve done today. That way, I’ll start tomorrow fresh and without any burdens from today.

Copyright © 1988 by Hazelden Foundation 
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Wednesday, 24 August 2016

Twenty-Four Hours A Day #essentialsofrec


A.A. Thought For The Day

“When we saw our faults, we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and we were willing to set these matters straight. We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We asked God to remove our fears and we commenced to outgrow fear.  Many of us needed an overhauling in regard to sex. We came to believe that sex powers were God-given and therefore good, if used properly. Sex is never to be used lightly or selfishly, nor is it to be despised or loathed. If sex is troublesome, we throw ourselves the harder into helping others, and so take our minds off ourselves.” Am I facing my sex problems in the proper way?

Meditation For The Day

Cling to the belief that all things are possible with God. If this belief is truly accepted, it is the ladder upon which a human soul can climb from the lowest pit of despair to the sublime heights of peace of mind. It is possible for God to change your way of living.  When you see the change in another person through the grace of God, you cannot doubt that all things are possible in the lives of people through the strength that comes from faith in Him who rules us all.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may live expectantly. I pray that I may believe deeply that all things are possible with God. 
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Sunday, 21 August 2016

A Day at a Time #essentialsofrec

Reflection for the Day

After we take an inventory, determining and admitting the exact nature of our wrongs, we become “entirely ready,” as the Sixth Step suggests, “to have God remove all these defects of character.” Sure, it’s easy to feel like that and be “entirely ready” on a morning-after, but we know in such desperate moments that our motive may be remorse rather than repentance, induced more by a throbbing head than a contrite heart. The further we get away from the last addictive binge, the better the wrong-doing looks – more innocent, possibly even more attractive.

Am I ready THEN to “have God remove all these defects of character …?”

Today I Pray

May I be “entirely ready” for God to remove my defects of character. May those words “entirely ready” re-summon my determination in case it should fade with time and sobriety. May God be my strength, since I alone cannot erase my faults.

Today I Will Remember

I am “entirely ready.”

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Thursday, 2 June 2016

Walk in Dry Places #essentialsofrec #admission #Wrongs


Why admitting we’re wrong is right
Right action


Sometimes it’s painful or almost impossible to admit that we’ve been wrong. This means we’ll probably go on making the same mistakes until we’re forced to face the truth. Why does this happen?

The problem lies with what we call the EGO in our Twelve step program discussions. We commit ourselves in defending this ego at al times, especially around people who seem to put us down. Far from being a minor correction, any admissions of wrong feels like total defeat, at least in our warped way of looking at things.

We can release ourselves from this bondage simply by coming to see that admitting and facing our wrongs is essential to growth. A store manager who overstocks a certain item “admits” the mistake by putting the goods on a clearance sale and getting rid of them. We can cut any loss in the same way by admitting a mistake and going on to a better course of action.

I’ll not plan to make any mistakes today, but I’ll hold myself in readiness to admit them if they occur. This is no threat to my ego. I am much more than my mistakes.
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Step by Step #essentialsofrec #Amends #Step9 #Recovery



“There may be some wrongs we can never fully right. We don’t worry about them if we can honestly say to ourselves that we would right them if we could. Some people cannot be seen – we send them an honest letter. And there may be a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don’t delay if it can be avoided. …As God’s people, we stand on our feet; we don’t crawl before anyone.”

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6, p 83.

Today, I will not take for granted the weight of Step Nine when I consider to whom I must – and can – approach with my amends. As the Big Book points out, some wrongs may never be made fully right, and there may be no recourse if making an amend only to clear our conscience risks further injury or implicates an unknowing other person. In cases in which we can honestly conclude that direct amends are not possible, our actions rather than our words may be our only avenue of atonement, and our strongest action is to get and stay sober and continue to grow in sobriety. In those cases where we can and must make amends, however, we are cautioned not to “crawl before anyone,” not to submit to being the proverbial doormat. In drunkenness, we lost our footing which, in turn, triggered the damage we inflicted; in sobriety, we must stand on our own feet to give integrity to our amends. And our common journey continues. 

Step by step. – Chris M.
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Tuesday, 10 November 2015

WALK IN DRY PLACES #essentialsofrec #Admitting #Wrongs

 10
November

HONESTY WITH ANOTHER PERSON


Admitting Wrongs

A good Fifth Step in the program means being entirely honest with at least one person about the nature of our shortcomings. “A burden shared is a burden cut in half” is the principle behind this action.

We can feel relieved that the Twelve Step program specifically limits this sharing to “another person”—though we can obviously add to that if we choose. However, we must be sure to share honestly with that one person, being careful not to gloss over this important Step.

What is the result of this honest sharing? At the very least, it helps us lose the fear that people might know us as we really are. It helps us face the world with confidence and perhaps new humility. Moreover, it can strengthen our ability to stay sober. All these gains are certainly reward enough.

If I haven’t been honest with at least one other person, I’ll reread the Fifth Step today. This is something that should be done for my own future safety and well-being.

© 1996 by Hazelden Foundation
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Thursday, 29 October 2015

Today’s thought from Hazelden #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Step5 #Honesty

 29
October


An honest man’s the noblest work of God.

— Alexander Pope

Step Five says, “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” When we did this Step, the person we admitted our wrongs to didn’t run away or reject us. That person stuck with us. Chances are, we were told that we are quite human. And working Step Five helped us to see that we can change, now that we’re sober.

The most important part of Step Five is the act of being totally honest about ourselves. Then we know that relationships – with our Higher Power, ourselves, and others – can be built. We have faced the truth. Now we know we never have to lie.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I know no Fifth Step is perfect. Please help me be as honest as I can in doing my Fifth Step and at other times.

Action for the Day

If I’ve avoided doing a Fifth Step, I’ll talk to my sponsor about it today.

From the book:


Keep It Simple by Anonymous

Keep It Simple © 1989 by Hazelden Foundation
 
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Friday, 9 October 2015

Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Shame #Admitting

   9
October



A man should never be ashamed to own he was in the wrong.
—Jonathan Swift

In the past, we felt a mistake was a crisis. We thought we had a to be perfect. Our old ways was to try to hide our mistakes. We were ashamed. We thought making mistakes meant we were bad.

Mistakes are normal. We can learn from our mistakes. They can teach us.

They can guide us. The Tenth Step directs us to promptly admit when we’re wrong. Then, over time, we start to see mistakes as normal life events. As we face and correct our mistakes, shame is washed away. We feel lighter. We know it is normal to make mistakes.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see that mistakes are normal life events. Help me promptly admit when I’m wrong.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll talk to my sponsor about mistakes I’ve made the past week. I’ll not act ashamed of my mistakes.
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Tuesday, 8 September 2015

Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrec #Admitting #Inventory

  8
September
 
Admitting a Wrong
Inventory.


It is all but impossible for some people to make the simple admission, I was wrong. We might have a problem with such admissions because we tend to believe that they place us at a disadvantage.

The reality is that the sooner we can admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong, the more rapidly it can be corrected and put behind us. The refusal to admit a wrong means making more of the same mistakes, thus bringing further harm to ourselves and others.

We may have trouble admitting a wrong because we once faced excessive punishments when we were found wrong. We can find our true course by realizing that admission of our wrongs is the route to well-being and improvement.

I’ll continue to take every opportunity to learn when I might be wrong, thus helping to avoid such mistakes in the future.
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Friday, 26 June 2015

Step by Step #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Step5 #Wrongs

26
June


“More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), p 73.

Today, if I am poised to take the Fifth Step of talking to another person about “the exact nature of (my) wrongs,” may I be given the strength and courage to be honest with perhaps my toughest prospect: myself. Like Jekyll and Hyde, I displayed two personalities in my drinking days – the party animal or the isolated, depressed lonely drinker as I sipped my way into oblivion and, the morning after, the physically and emotionally broken person for everyone to see. I need to meld both characters into one to find the actual self on which to build recovery, and that effort will likely be nil if I am not honest with myself first before taking my Fifth to a chosen confidant. Honesty for me begins with myself; without it, my Fifth – and my Fourth, for that matter – is based on an illusion. In the end, so will my recovery be based on an illusion. Today, let me understand the wisdom that honesty, before it is given to anyone else, has to begin with me. And our common journey continues. 

Step by step. – Chris M.
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Wednesday, 24 June 2015

Step by Step #essentialsofrec #Humility #Inventory #Defects

24
June


“Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

 – Step 5

“This (Step) is perhaps difficult – especially discussing our defects with another person. We think we have done well enough in admitting these things to ourselves. There is doubt about that. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. …We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. …Trying to avoid this humbling experience, (members) have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk.”

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, Ch 6 (“Into Action”), pp 72-3.

Today, I seek the understanding that the purpose of Step Five is to unburden myself of the excess emotional baggage of guilt, fear, resentment and anger that will likely impair my recovery if I do not let go of that weight. I cannot expect to reap the Program’s full benefits if I cannot be unconditionally honest with myself and others by keeping bottled inside those events or feelings that might have contributed to my drinking – and hurt to others. Along with humility, Step Five requires courage, most certainly. But failing to muster both and finally letting go of what now hurts me in my recovery will predictably impede that recovery. And, in letting go by confiding in a trusted confidant or sponsor, I may find fresh perspectives, useful direction and an unbiased opinion that what I think is so bad may not be as bad as I think. Today, I look for the humility and courage to take Step Five and, hopefully, find reconciliation in the process. And our common journey continues. 

Step by step. – Chris M.
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Friday, 1 May 2015

Daily Reflections #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Healing

 1
May

HEALING HEART AND MIND


Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. 

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55

Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets to get in the way.

It’s the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace.

By revealing my secrets – and thereby ridding myself of guilt – I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today.
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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Step5 #Recovery #Wrongs

1
May

Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

–Step Five

Step Five can be scary. we’re to take the wrongs we listed in our Fourth Srep and share them with God, ourselves, and another person. We may look for an easier, softer way. But Step Five stops us.

We’re to share the exact nature of our wrong. Why? So we can take a load off ourselves. So we won’t use again. By totally sharing our past wrongs, we can belong once more. We can heal. We start to forgive ourselves. We become more humble. When you share your Fifth Step, holding nothing back. You deserve the peace this Step will bring you.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give me courage to tell it all. Give me courage to admit just how wrong I had become.

Action for the Day:
Step Five teaches me that sharing is important. I will find a friend and share my wrongs with that friend. I will hold nothing back.
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