Walk in Dry Places - May 7 2026

Did I have a dysfunctional family?
Healing the Past.

We hear much about the long-term effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family. Many alcoholics, in fact, have bitter memories of their own parents’ drinking, and may feel this caused needless deprivation and misery.
Whether our families were dysfunctional or not, we must agree that most of our parents did the best they could. We cannot bring back the past—- nor can they, —-and it is best released, forgiven, and forgotten. Our wisest course is to use the tools of the program to reach the maturity and well-being that will bring happiness into our own lives. This will not happen, however, if we believe that growing up in a dysfunctional home has left us permanently impaired.
In our fellowship, we can find endless examples of people who used the Twelve Steps to overcome all kinds of emotional and physical disabilities. Just when we start thinking something in our past is a permanent handicap, we meet other people who survived the same bitter experiences and are living life to the fullest. They’ve cleared away the wreckage of their past in order to build wisely for the future.


I’ll remember today that I am not bound or limited by anything that was ever done or said to me. I face the day with self-confidence and a sense of expectancy, knowing that I am really a fortunate person with many reasons to be grateful.

As Bill Sees It - May 3 2026

The New A.A. and His Family, p. 123

When alcoholism strikes, very unnatural situations may develop which
work against marriage partnership and compatible union. If the man is
affected, the wife must become the head of the house, often the
breadwinner. As matters get worse, the husband becomes a sick and
irresponsible child who needs to be looked after and extricated from
endless scrapes and impasses. Very gradually, usually without any
realization of the fact, the wife is forced to become the mother of an
erring boy, and the alcoholic alternately loves and hates her maternal
care.

Under the influence of A.A.’s Twelve Steps, these situations are often
set right.

<< << << >> >> >>

Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic
member has to if he would recover. The others must be convinced of
his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to
most families who have lived with a drinker.

1. 12 & 12, pp. 117-118
2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 135

Daily Reflections - April 5 2026

TRUE BROTHERHOOD

We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society. Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap, or to hide underneath it. This self-centered behavior blocked a partnership relation with any one of those about us. Of true brotherhood we had small comprehension.

–TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 53

This message contained in Step Four was the first one I heard loud and clear; I hadn’t seen myself in print before! Prior to my coming into A.A., I knew of no place that could teach me how to become a person among persons. From my very first meeting, I saw people doing just that and I wanted what they had. One of the reasons that I’m a happy, sober alcoholic today is that I’m learning this most important lesson. 

Fr. Larry Lane Non- AA Speaker On Family Life - Part 2 #essentialsofrecovery

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

A WOMAN’S SPIRIT #essentialsofrecovery

My husband, four children, six grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren are the most important things in my life. I love them all.

~ Thelma Elliott ~

Liking, let alone loving, those closest to us seems elusive at times, because as relatives, we seldom put on our best face for each other. With ease we express our criticism. But coming to really love the members of our family, loving their faults as well as their strengths, will help us love ourselves. And loving ourselves is the primary lesson we are here to learn.

By the time we reach this program, we all have numerous regrets. But we can make amends and demonstrate through changed behavior our new commitment to acting from an attitude of love. Time is too fleeting and life too fragile to let our most important companions walk by unnoticed, unappreciated, unloved. Each family member will benefit, but even more important, our spirits will be lifted each time loving thoughts guide our actions.

I will take time to notice the most important friends I have, my family. Each family member will get my love and kind thoughts today.

© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation 

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

Random Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous #essentialsofrec

Chapter 9   The Family Afterwards (pg 128 & top 129)

Assume on the other hand that father has, at the outset, a stirring spiritual experience. Overnight, as it were, he is a different man. He becomes a religious enthusiast. He is unable to focus on anything else. As soon as his sobriety begins to be taken as a matter of course, the family may look at their strange new dad with apprehension, then with irritation. There is talk about spiritual matters morning, noon and night. He may demand that the family find God in a hurry, or exhibit amazing indifference to them and say he is above worldly considerations. He may tell mother, who has been religious all her life, that she doesn’t know what it’s all about, and that she had better get his brand of spirituality while there is yet time.

When father takes this tack, the family may react unfavorably. The may be jealous of a God who has stolen dad’s affections. While grateful that he drinks no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle where they failed. They often forget father was beyond human aid. They may not see why their love and devotion did not straighten him out. Dad is not so spiritual after all, they say. If he means to right his past wrongs, why all this concern for everyone in the world but his family? What about his talk that God will take care of them? They suspect father is a bit balmy!

He is not so unbalanced as they might think. Many of us have experienced dad’s elation. We have indulged in spiritual intoxication. Like a gaunt prospector, belt drawn in over the ounce of food, our pick struck gold. Joy at our release from a lifetime of frustration knew no bounds. Father feels he has struck something better than gold. For a time he may try to hug the new treasure to himself. He may not see at once that he has barely scratched a limitless lode which will pay dividends only if he mines it for the rest of his life and insists on giving away the entire product. 

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

As Bill Sees It #essentialsofrec #Family #AA

The A.A. Way in the Home*, p. 190

Though an alcoholic does not respond, there is no reason why you should neglect his family. You should continue to be friendly to them, explaining A.A.’s concept of alcoholism and its treatment. If they accept this and also apply our principles to their problems, there is a much better chance that the head of the family will recover. And even though he continues to drink, the family will find life more bearable.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Unless a new member’s family readily expresses a desire to live upon spiritual principles, we think he ought not to urge them. They will change in time. His behavior will usually convince them far more than his words.

Alcoholics Anonymous
1. p. 97
2. p. 83 

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrec #Suffering #God

MYSTERIOUS WAYS

. . . out of every season of grief or suffering when the hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does “move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform.”

~ TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 105

After losing my career, family and health, I remained unconvinced that my way of life needed a second look. My drinking and other drug use were killing me, but I had never met a recovering person or an A.A. member. I thought I was destined to die alone and that I deserved it. At the peak of my despair, my infant son became critically ill with a rare disease. Doctors’ efforts to help him proved useless. I redoubled my efforts to block my feelings, but now the alcohol had stopped working. I was left staring into God’s eyes, begging for help. My introduction to A.A. came within days, through an odd series of coincidences, and I have remained sober ever since. My son lived and his disease is in remission. The entire episode convinced me of my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Today my son and I thank God for His intervention.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

AS BILL SEES IT #essentialsofre #Loners #Members

~ Page 53 ~

“Loners” — but Not Alone

What can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life? At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them. If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability?

Yes—whenever they try hard to seek out these satisfactions. Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, the co-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone. In partnership with others— women and men— they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects. They can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women. We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return.

~ TWELVE AND TWELVE, P. 120 ~

© 1967 by Alcoholics Anonymous ® World Services, Inc

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY #essentialsofrec #Alcohol #Poison

A.A. Thought for the Day

After I became an alcoholic, alcohol poisoned my love for my family and friends, it poisoned my ambition, it poisoned my self-respect. It poisoned my whole life, until I met A.A. My life is happier now than it has been for a long time. I don’t want to commit suicide. So with the help of God and A.A., I’m not going to take any more of that alcoholic poison into my system. And I’m going to keep training my mind never even to think of liquor again in any way except as a poison. Do I believe that liquor will poison my life if I ever touch it again?

Meditation for the Day

I will link up my frail nature with the limitless Divine Power. I will link my life with the Divine Force for Good in the world. It is not the passionate appeal that gains the Divine attention as much as the quiet placing of the difficulty and worry in the Divine Hands. So I will trust God like a child who places its tangled skein of wool in the hands of a loving parent to unravel. We please God more by our unquestioning confidence than by imploring Him for help.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may put all my difficulties in God’s hands and leave them there. I pray that I may fully trust God to take care of them.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

A WOMAN’S SPIRIT #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Love #Family

My husband, four children, six grandchildren, and four great-grandchildren are the most important things in my life. I love them all.

~ Thelma Elliott 

Liking, let alone loving, those closest to us seems elusive at times, because as relatives, we seldom put on our best face for each other. With ease we express our criticism. But coming to really love the members of our family, loving their faults as well as their strengths, will help us love ourselves. And loving ourselves is the primary lesson we are here to learn.

By the time we reach this program, we all have numerous regrets. But we can make amends and demonstrate through changed behavior our new commitment to acting from an attitude of love. Time is too fleeting and life too fragile to let our most important companions walk by unnoticed, unappreciated, unloved. Each family member will benefit, but even more important, our spirits will be lifted each time loving thoughts guide our actions.

I will take time to notice the most important friends I have, my family. Each family member will get my love and kind thoughts today.

© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrec

Daily Reflections

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

… a spiritual life which does not include … family obligations may not be so perfect after all.

-ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129

I can be doing great in the program–applying it at meetings, at work, and in service activities–and find that things have gone to pieces at home. I expect my loved ones to understand, but they cannot. I expect them to see and value my progress, but they don’t–unless I show them. Do I neglect their needs and desire for my attention and concern? When I’m around them, am I irritable or boring? Are my “amends” a mumbled “Sorry,” or do they take the form of patience and tolerance? Do I preach to them, trying to reform or “fix” them? Have I ever really cleaned house with them? “The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”

(Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83).

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

EASY DOES IT #essentialsofrecovery

FAMILY

The family is the association established by nature for the supply of man’s everyday wants.
~ Aristotle ~

The bond between us and our families becomes tighter in recovery. It’s not because they understand or appreciate us more. It’s because we understand and appreciate them more. We come to grips with our personal history in our Fourth and Fifth Steps. We are given a clearer point of view on all our relationships. We take more responsibility for what happens to our families, because we learn that we are more than just guiltless victims.

Our Eighth and Ninth Steps let us admit our part in family relationships and mend fences that have been torn down. Our family bonds become tighter because we know we’re forgiven. We ask to share that forgiveness with our loved ones.

All of us in our families are loved by our Higher Power. I don’t regret the fact that I can’t change the past. I rejoice that the future is open.

©1990 by Anonymous. All rights reserved. Published by Hazelden.

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

FAMILY

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.
~ Jane Howard 

(from the book “The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude” by Sarah Ban Breathnach)

As an only child of parents who immigrated and left their own families behind, I have always felt that I was missing out on the great wealth of sharing and caring that I saw other people have in their families. That was before recovery.

Today, I have an extended family — not only by marriage — but by the simple fact that my Higher Power led me to the great wealth of caring and sharing that I have found in perhaps the strangest place of all — cyberspace — in the form of online recovery loops.

Being prone to isolation, my disease first led me to seek out others who have struggled with compulsive overeating, and that, in turn, led me to my new ‘family.’ As someone so wonderfully expressed it to me recently, it’s a “family of choice.” What a concept! My family of choice not only has sisters and brothers, it also is filled with mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles — more than I could ever have dreamed of before, and each brings into my life more experience, strength and hope than I could ever have imagined.

One Day at a Time . . .

I thank God that I have found this huge, loving family that constantly offers me hope, inspiration, understanding … and most of all love.

~ Lorraine

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

Random Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous #essentialsofrecovery

The head of the house ought to remember that he is mainly to blame for what befell his home. He can scarcely square the account in his lifetime. But he must see the danger of over-concentration on financial success. Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded. Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there. He is not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his own roof. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so. As each member of a resentful family begins to see his shortcomings and admits them to the others, he lays a basis for helpful discussion. These family talks will be constructive if they can be carried on without heated argument, self-pity, self-justification or resentful criticism. Little by little, mother and children will see they ask too much, and father will see he gives too little. Giving, rather than getting, will become the guiding principle. Chapter 9 The Family Afterwards (pg 127 & top 128)

Daily Reflections #essentialsofrecovery

FAMILY OBLIGATIONS

. . . a spiritual life which does not include . . . family obligations may not be so perfect after all. 

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 129

I can be doing great in the program–applying it at meetings, at work, and in service activities–and find that things have gone to pieces at home. I expect my loved ones to understand, but they cannot. I expect them to see and value my progress, but they don’t–unless I show them. Do I neglect their needs and desire for my attention and concern? When I’m around them, am I irritable or boring? Are my “amends” a mumbled “Sorry,” or do they take the form of patience and tolerance? Do I preach to them, trying to reform or “fix” them? Have I ever really cleaned house with them? “The spiritual life is not a theory. We have to live it.”

 (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 83). 

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

FATHER LARRY LANE - FAMILY LIFE PART 1 OF 2. #essentialsofrecovery

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

ONE DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrecovery

FAMILY

Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.

~ Jane Howard ~

(from the book “The Simple Abundance Journal of Gratitude” by Sarah Ban Breathnach)

As an only child of parents who immigrated and left their own families behind, I have always felt that I was missing out on the great wealth of sharing and caring that I saw other people have in their families. That was before recovery.

Today, I have an extended family — not only by marriage — but by the simple fact that my Higher Power led me to the great wealth of caring and sharing that I have found in perhaps the strangest place of all — cyberspace — in the form of online recovery loops.

Being prone to isolation, my disease first led me to seek out others who have struggled with compulsive overeating, and that, in turn, led me to my new ‘family.’ As someone so wonderfully expressed it to me recently, it’s a “family of choice.” What a concept! My family of choice not only has sisters and brothers, it also is filled with mothers and fathers, aunts and uncles — more than I could ever have dreamed of before, and each brings into my life more experience, strength and hope than I could ever have imagined.

One Day at a Time . . .

I thank God that I have found this huge, loving family that constantly offers me hope, inspiration, understanding … and most of all love.

~ Lorraine  

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery

Random Big Book Alcoholics Anonymous #essentialsofrecovery

Cling to the thought that, in God's hands, the dark past is the greatest possession you have—the key to life and happiness for others. With it you can avert death and misery for them. ~Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Edition, The Family Afterward, pg. 124

ELDER'S MEDITATION OF THE DAY #essentialsofrecovery

“Language is a vehicle for carrying spirit, life, family. Language, religion, and land base are three things that characterize culture.”

~ Edmund Ladd, ZUNI PUEBLO 

The Elders say we need to know the answers to three questions in order for us to be connected the Earth, the Sky, the East, the West, the South, the North. The three questions are: 1. Why are we? 2. Who are we? 3. Where are we going? If we know the language, if we have our spirituality and if we can pray on sacred spots, then we are able to seek the answer to the questions. We must protect the language, religion and land so our future generations can stay connected.

Great Spirit, help us maintain our language, spirit, family, religion and our Mother Earth.

Why not sign up to get emails with all daily posts included?
Or Follow Us On Twitter #essentialsofrecovery