Walk in Dry Places - May 12 2026

Repeating the old hurts
Serenity

It’s been pointed out that the real meaning of resentment is to re-feel an old injury. This means that we let ourselves feel again the pain we had when we were previously wronged.

Common sense tells us that this is a foolish practice. But with emotions like resentment, common sense can be crowded out. It is a rare person who can avoid resentment about matters that caused deep injury. Resentment is so much a part of everyday life. In fact, that it’s considered abnormal not to resent a real wrong.

We’ve also been conditioned to believe that we’re being spineless and wimpy if we don’t become outraged by certain injustices and wrongs. There’s a difference, however, between feeling strongly that something is wrong and being sullen and resentful about it. The first kind of feeling helps us remedy the problem; the second feeling simply intensifies our hurt. Under no circumstances can we afford resentment.

I’ll make this day resentment-free, despite the currents of feeling and bitterness around me. “Re-feeling” old injuries is not the way to the happier life I seek.

A WOMAN’S SPIRIT - April 14 2026

Letting go of old hurts makes room for new joys.
~ Sefra Kobrin Pitzele ~
Dwelling on the painful past gets tiresome eventually, but some of us hang on to it longer than others do. However, seeing women move from the bondage of the past to the freedom of living in the present gives us hope. Once we let go of the pain, we discover far more joy in even ordinary experiences. That’s the real surprise.

We have heard sponsors say that when old doors close, new doors open. Letting go of old hurts in order to appreciate new joys falls into the same category. Why not fill our voids with joys rather than recollections of pain?

None of us know how long a life we’ll be blessed with. Accepting how tentative life is helps us decide to seek more joy and less pain. The decision is only the first step, however. Taking control of how we think is the necessary action.

I will experience more joy if I give less thought to old hurts today. The decision is mine, and I can make it and remake it if necessary.

© 1994 by Hazelden Foundation

Today’s Gift #essentialsofrec

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.

—Madeleine L’Engle

The ability to laugh at ourselves has always been important. In old days, fools and jesters held an important place in the royal courts. Today we have clowns who make us laugh.

If we look closely at a clown’s face, we will often notice a bit of sadness around the eyes. Clowns are able to move easily from sad expressions to ones full of delight very easily. For all of us, laughter and tears come from the same deep well inside. And often, after a good cry, we find ourselves ready to laugh, easily and joyfully.

Laughter is a gift waiting for us on the other side of our sadness.

Can I begin to laugh by smiling now? 

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DAILY REFLECTIONS #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Choice #Hurt

TODAY, IT’S MY CHOICE

. . . we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.
~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 62 ~

With the realization and acceptance that I had played a part in the way my life had turned out came a dramatic change in my outlook. It was at this point that the A.A. program began to work for me. In the past I had always blamed others, either God or other people, for my circumstances. I never felt that I had a choice in altering my life. My decisions had been based on fear, pride, or ego. As a result, those decisions led me down a path of self-destruction. Today I try to allow my God to guide me on the road to sanity. I am responsible for my action—or inaction— whatever the consequences may be.

Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc

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Keep It Simple #essentialsofrec #Recovery #People #Hurt

I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself.----Montaigne
We know we’ve hurt people. We’ve heard our family cry out from pain we’ve caused them. Because of alcohol and other drugs, we acted like monsters.
But we now live surrounded with love. We now work to make this world better. Recovery is a miracle. The rebirth of our spirit is our miracle.
It’s no wonder we love life the way we do! We’ve been given a second chance. Our joy is overflowing. Our Higher Power must love us very much.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me with the monster that lives within me. I pray it will never again be let out.

Action for the Day: Today, I’ll see myself as a miracle. I’ll be grateful for my new life.

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Walk in Dry Places

Repeating the old hurts
Serenity

It’s been pointed out that the real meaning of resentment is to "re-feel" an old injury. This means that we let ourselves feel again the pain we had when we were previously wronged.

Common sense tells us that this is a foolish practice. But with emotions like resentment, common sense can be crowded out. It is a rare person who can avoid resentment about matters that caused deep injury. Resentment is so much a part of everyday life. In fact, that it’s considered abnormal not to resent a real wrong.

We’ve also been conditioned to believe that we’re being spineless and wimpy if we don’t become outraged by certain injustices and wrongs. There’s a difference, however, between feeling strongly that something is wrong and being sullen and resentful about it. The first kind of feeling helps us remedy the problem; the second feeling simply intensifies our hurt. Under no circumstances can we afford resentment.

I’ll make this day resentment-free, despite the currents of feeling and bitterness around me. “Re-feeling” old injuries is not the way to the happier life I seek.

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Daily Reflections #essentialsofrecovery

DIDN’T WE HURT ANYBODY?

Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. 

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 79

This Step seemed so simple. I identified several people whom I had harmed, but they were no longer available. Still, I was uneasy about the Step and avoided conversations dealing with it. In time I learned to investigate those Steps and areas of my life which made me uncomfortable. My search revealed my parents, who had been deeply hurt by my isolation from them; my employer, who worried about my absences, my memory lapses, my temper; and the friends I had shunned, without explanation. As I faced the reality of the harm I had done, Step Eight took on a new meaning. I am no longer uncomfortable and I feel clean and light. 

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Just For Today #essentialsofrecovery

Regular Prayer And Meditation

“Most of us pray when we are hurting. We learn that if we pray regularly, we won’t be hurting as often or as intensely.” 

Basic Text, p.44

Regular prayer and meditation are two more key elements in our new pattern of living. Our active addiction was more than just a bad habit waiting to be broken by force of will. Our addiction was a negative, draining dependence that stole all our positive energy. That dependence was so total, it prevented us from developing any kind of reliance on a Higher Power.

From the very beginning of our recovery, our Higher Power has been the force that’s brought us freedom. First, it relieved us of our compulsion to keep taking drugs, even when we knew they were killing us. Then, it gave us freedom from the more deeply ingrained aspects of our disease. Our Higher Power gave us the direction, the strength, and the courage to inventory ourselves; to admit out loud to another person what our lives had been like, perhaps for the first time; to begin seeking release from the chronic defects of character underlying our troubles; and, at last, to make amends for the wrongs we’d done.

That first contact with a Higher Power, and that first freedom, has grown into a life full of freedom. We maintain that freedom by maintaining and improving our conscious contact with our Higher Power through regular prayer and meditation.

Just for today: I will make a commitment to include regular prayer and meditation in my new pattern of living.

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TWENTY-FOUR HOURS A DAY #essentialsofrecovery

A.A. Thought for the Day

I am less sensitive and my feelings are less easily hurt. I no longer take myself so seriously. It didn’t used to take much to insult me, to feel that I had been slighted or left on the outside. What happens to me now is not so important. One cause of our drinking was that we couldn’t take it, so we escaped the unpleasant situation. We have learned to take it on the chin if necessary and smile. When I am all wrapped up in A.A., I do not notice the personal slights so much. They do not seem to matter so much. I have learned to laugh at self-pity because it’s so childish. Am I less sensitive?

Meditation for the Day

God’s miracle-working power is as manifest today as it was in the past. It still works miracles of change in lives and miracles of healing in twisted minds. When a person trusts wholly in God and leaves to Him the choosing of the day and hour, there is God’s miracle- working power becoming manifest in that person’s life. So we can trust in God and have boundless faith in His power to make us whole again, whenever He chooses.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may feel sure that there is nothing that God cannot accomplish in changing my life. I pray that I may have faith in His miracle-working power.

© 1954, 1975, 1992 by Hazelden Foundation 

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Daily Reflections #essentialsofrec

DIDN’T WE HURT ANYBODY?

Some of us, though, tripped over a very different snag. We clung to the claim that when drinking we never hurt anybody but ourselves. 

TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS , p. 79

This Step seemed so simple. I identified several people whom I had harmed, but they were no longer available. Still, I was uneasy about the Step and avoided conversations dealing with it. In time I learned to investigate those Steps and areas of my life which made me uncomfortable. My search revealed my parents, who had been deeply hurt by my isolation from them; my employer, who worried about my absences, my memory lapses, my temper; and the friends I had shunned, without explanation. As I faced the reality of the harm I had done, Step Eight took on a new meaning. I am no longer uncomfortable and I feel clean and light. 

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrecovery

FILLING THE VOID

“You can’t have everything.  Where would you put it?”
–Steven Wright

I’d thought marriage alone would heal all the hurts I’d gathered up in my life. My husband, also the product of a dysfunctional family, felt the same way. We quickly learned that our love for each other was not enough to our emptiness.

I was used to using food to temporarily fill my inner-holes; he was used to abusing another substance to fill his. Neither worked well, and we soon discovered that buying things we didn’t need would help to temporarily fill some of our hurts. Pretty soon we had a house that was full of things we’d bought that had given only a few moments of pleasure at best.

One of the benefits of program life is that I’ve learned to fill the holes within me in ways that really work. I want to make my life more simple and less cluttered. Three years later, I’m still getting rid of things we bought and never used again. But the best part is we can go to the mall when we really do need something and not feel the compulsion to buy something we don’t need.

One day at a time…
I will use the lessons I’ve learned working the program to finally heal the hurts within me instead of looking for material things to repair these inner-holes.

~ Rhonda H. 

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A DAY AT A TIME #essentialsofrec #Anger

 10
December

Reflection for the Day

Have I ever stopped to think that the impulse to “blow off steam” and say something unkind or even vicious will, if followed through, hurt me far more seriously than the person to whom the insult is directed? I must try constantly to quiet my mind before I act with impatience or hostility, for my mind can be—in that very real way —an enemy as great as any I’ve ever known. Will I look before I leap, think before I speak—and try to avoid self-will to the greatest extent possible?

Today I Pray

May I remember that my blow-ups and explosions, when they are torrents of accusations or insults, hurt me just as much as the other person. May I try not to let my anger get to the blow-up stage, simply by recognizing it as I go along and stating it as a fact.

Today I Will Remember
Keep a loose lid on the teapot.
© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation

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AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX #essentialsofrec #Anger #Worry #Hurt

 19
November


WHY WORRY?

Nothing is really worth worrying about. Nothing is really worth getting angry or hurt or bitter about. Positively nothing is worth losing your peace of mind over.

These important truths follow logically upon the following feet: You are going to live forever—somewhere. This means that there is plenty of time to get things right again if they have gone wrong. No matter what mistake you may have made, enough prayer will overtake it and cancel it. If those you love seem to be acting foolishly, you can help them with prayer to be wiser, and, meanwhile, if they suffer, it means that kindly nature is teaching them a lesson that they need to learn.

But suppose something awful should happen? Well, what then? Suppose you lost everything and landed in the poorhouse. What then? Think what a wonderful demonstration you could make there, and you would probably learn several valuable lessons there, and, anyway, it would be quite interesting. Suppose the whole universe blew up. What then? When the dust settles, God will still be in business and you will be alive somewhere, ready to carry on.

Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee: He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved (Psalm 55:22). 
© 1931 by Emmet Fox

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Walk In Dry Places #essentialsofrec #Others #Hurt #Inventory

 23
October 

How do we hurt others?
Inventory

Even while drinking, few of us abused others physically or committed crimes. Yet we did harm others, even when we thought we were hurting only ourselves.

One way we harmed others…. and this applies to many alcoholic family relationships.. was by with-holding the love and support they needed. If we had a nasty disposition at times, this poisoned the atmosphere and made others uncomfortable and afraid.

Maybe we harmed others by not being productive at work. Our absenteeism, for example, may have put our boss in a bad light with superiors or caused the firm to lose a client.

Perhaps the worst harm was in being completely indifferent to what we were doing to others. Any willingness to admit wrong, then, can be a major step toward recovery and self-improvement.

Though, I have no intention of harming anyone today, I’ll realize that even my attitude can affect others unfavorably. I’ll try to maintain an attitude that’s uplifting to everyone.

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The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK #essentialsofrec #Resentment #Prayer #Hurt

18
September

Release Hurt, Anger, Resentment

God of Reason, I am willing to release all feelings

of hurt and anger and resentment.

Help me know true forgiveness

and see each person as part of You.

Let my words and my actions

serve only to honor You.

May my honest and positive action

heal and comfort and harmonize my life
and the lives of those around me.

Thank You, God.

~ Adapted, author unknown ~

© 2007 by Hazelden Foundation

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One Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #OA #Recovery #Failure

23
August 

FAILURE


“Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can – and surely will at times – fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying, too.”

–Dr. Joyce Brothers

The prospect of failing ~ or worse yet, “ Being A Failure” ~ was a crippling monster which held me in its cold and unforgiving stranglehold. If I thought I could not do a thing perfectly, I would not do it at all. If I didn’t know the “Right” way to act or to be, I was paralyzed. One day my therapist shocked me by suggesting I make a mistake on purpose. She wanted me to practice giving myself permission to make mistakes and to survive the experience.

I vividly recall intentionally dropping a gum wrapper on the ground and leaving it there. The Fearful Perfectionist inside of me screamed, “Pick it up! You never litter! This is wrong!” Yet I also heard a whisper welling up from within: “It will be alright. Just let it go.”

As part of my Recovery, I am exploring with brutal honesty the mistakes I’ve made in my life: the ways and the people that I’ve failed. Though doing so is embarrassing, humbling, and frightening, I am surprised to find a budding sense of relief. My attempts to avoid Failure never made me Perfect; rather, they caused me to be more entrenched in my pride, insecurities, fears, and stunted growth. A young girl I know is an expert skater. I asked her how she learned, and her answer stopped me in my tracks: “Mostly by falling down.”

One day at a time…
I will practice accepting my failures as necessary steps towards my healing. I will remember that the word “practice” honors the fact that we gain our progress by making attempts, failing, and learning from our mistakes.

~ Lisa V.

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A Day At A Time #essentialsofrec #Acceptance #Resentment #Recovery

  8
August

Reflection For The Day

As a recovering alcoholic, I have to remind myself that no amount of social acceptance of resentments will take the poison out of them. In a way, the problem of resentments is very much like the drinking problem. Alcohol is never safe for me; no matter who is offering it. I’ve attended cocktail receptions for worthy causes, often in a convivial atmosphere that makes drinking seem almost harmless. Just as I politely but adamanity decline alcohol under any conditions, will I also refuse to accept resentments — no matter who is serving them?

Today I Pray

When anger, hurt, fear or guilt — to be socially acceptable — put on their polite, pary manners, dress up as resentment and come in the side door, may I not hobnob with them. These emotions, disguised as they are, can be a full of trickery as the chemicals themselves.

Today I Will Remember

Keep an eye on the side door.

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Today’s Gift from Hazelden #essentialsofrec #Fear #Recovery

2
July

If you’re never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances.

— Julia Soul

Do we avoid making new friends because we’re scared they won’t like us? Do we get embarrassed when we make a mistake and avoid trying again? When we get our feelings hurt, do we think we’re bad, or that something is wrong with us?

Being scared or shy or hurt are all part of being alive. When we try to stay away from painful feelings, we keep ourselves from having many wonderful adventures. If we’re afraid to meet new people, we may never have any close friends. If we stop trying when we’re embarrassed, we may never learn a better way of doing things. And if we don’t share our hurt feelings, we may never find out that everyone else has the same feelings we have.

What can I try again today that I failed at yesterday?

From the book:

Today’s Gift by Anonymous

Today’s Gift © 1985, 1991 by Hazelden Foundation

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