Reservations
“Relapse is never an accident. Relapse is a sign that we have a reservation in our program.”
Basic Text, p. 76
A reservation is something we set aside for future use. In our case, a reservation is the expectation that, if such-and-
such happens, we will surely relapse. What event do we expect will be too painful to bear? Maybe we think that if a
spouse or lover leaves us, we will have to get high. If we lose our job, surely, we think, we will use. Or maybe it’s the
death of a loved one that we expect to be unbearable. In any case, the reservations we harbor give us permission to
use when they come true-as they often do.
We can prepare ourselves for success instead of relapse by examining our expectations and altering them where we
can. Most of us carry within us a catalog of anticipated misery closely related to our fears. We can learn how to
survive pain by watching other members live through similar pain. We can apply their lessons to our own
expectations. Instead of telling ourselves we will have to get high if this happens, we can quietly reassure ourselves
that we, too, can stay clean through whatever life brings us today.
Just for today: I will check for any reservations that may endanger my recovery and share them with another addict.
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. . . AND NO MORE RESERVATIONS
We have seen the truth again and again: “Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.”. . . If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservation of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
. . . To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years.
~ ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 33 ~These words are underlined in my book. They are true for men and women alcoholics. On many occasions I’ve turned to this page and reflected on this passage. I need never fool myself by recalling my sometimes differing drinking patterns, or by believing I am “cured.” I like to think that, if sobriety is God’s gift to me, then my sober life is my gift to God. I hope God is as happy with His gift as I am with mine.Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc
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Reflection for the Day
If we are determined to stop drinking or using other chemicals, there must be no reservations whatsoever, nor any lurking notion that our allergy of the body and obsession of the mind will someday reverse themselves. Our regeneration comes through the splendid paradox of the Twelve Steps: Strength arises from complete defeat, and the loss of one’s old life is a condition for finding a new one. Am I convinced that in powerlessness, power comes? Am I certain that by releasing my life and will I am released?
Today I Pray
May I know power through powerlessness, victory through surrender, triumph through defeat. May I learn to relinquish any trace of secret pride that I can “do it by myself.” Let my will be absorbed and steered by the omnipotent will of God.
Today I Will Remember
Let go and let God.
© 1989 by Hazelden Foundation
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