Daily Dose OF Emmet Fox

NECESSITY FOR SELF-CONTROL

Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill, and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment:
But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council, but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire (Matthew 5:21-22). 


The Old Law said "Thou shalt not kill," but Jesus says that even to want to kill, nay, even to be angry with your brother, is sufficient to keep you out of the Kingdom of Heaven. It was a distinct gain when primitive people could be persuaded not to murder but to develop sufficient self-control to master their anger. Spiritual demonstration demands that anger itself be overcome. It is simply not possible to get any experience of God worth talking about, or to exercise spiritual power until you have gotten rid of resentment and condemnation. You can have either your demonstration or your indignation, but you cannot have both.

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Keep It Simple

Fairness is what justice really is.

—The last Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart

Some of us get hung up on what’s fair. We might feel, because we’ve worked hard to stay sober, we should be rewarded. We might keep score of what we get and what others get. And we complain if it’s “not fair.”

Maybe we should be glad life isn’t fair. Why? Most of us caused a lot of trouble we’ve never had to pay for. And we’ve hurt a lot of people who haven’t gotten even. Would we really want life to be fair?

Our Higher Power isn’t fair either. That is, our Higher Power doesn’t keep score. Our Higher Power doesn’t try to get even. Our Higher Power is loving and forgiving, no matter what. Our Higher Power has the same love and help for everyone.

Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, give me the wisdom to stop keeping score. Help me want the best for everyone.

Action for the Day: I’ll list five times I’ve been unfair to others. Do I need to make amends?  

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Daily Reflections

… AND FORGIVE

Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive others–also myself.

-AS BILL SEE IT p. 268

Forgiveness of self and forgiveness of others are just two currents in the same river, both hindered or shut off completely by the dam of resentment. Once that dam is lifted, both currents can flow. The Steps of A.A. allow me to see how resentment has built up and subsequently blocked off this flow in my life. The Steps provide a way by which my resentments may – by the grace of God as I understand Him – be lifted. It is as a result of this solution that I can find the necessary grace which enables me to forgive myself and others.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Grief #Recovery

17
October

Today, let me not feel any regrets, grief or loss or be bitter from the sweet of what I must leave behind in my new and continuing journey toward recovery and sobriety. Some people and places that were a significant, even enabling part of my life in my drinking days may no longer have a place in my new life in recovery, and I must be prepared that I may have to cut some losses in order to attain greater gains. If I am reluctant to move on without someone or something that was an influential part of my life as a drinking alcoholic, may I be able to remove myself from the emotional and use the logic to ask if maintaining old ties is worth the risk to my recovery. If so, I have no choice but to move on although I will never be alone. Today, if my sobriety requires it, I may have to make the tough choices between what once was seemingly precious to me and moving toward something even more precious. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Depression

16
October


“The less people tolerated (alcoholics), the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering denizens of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did – then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen – Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 11 (“A Vision for You”), p 151.

Today, neither must I forget nor live again in my days of the “hideous Four Horsemen,” remembering that they once again will overwhelm me – if I allow them. I must not let either time or the distance from my last drink dim the desperation of the “chilling vapor that is loneliness” and the “sordid places” I sought for approval, acceptance or simple companionship. Nor must I forget the shattered quiet morning after when self-loathing, desperation and physical and emotional emptiness fueled the cycle to do it all over again and face another night of that “chilling vapor” of loneliness and another shattered quiet morning after. My life in sobriety is a day-by-day reprieve from that desperate drinking, and I must not take for granted today that sobriety is guaranteed to me tomorrow. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Amends #Recovery

15
October

Today, I will quiet the noise in my mind and stop the traffic of racing thoughts to simply do it just for today. I will not mourn or lament the losses that my drinking entailed and instead will be grateful that the losses weren’t more. I will not cling to regrets for amends that I can never make and instead believe that being sober is my strongest and sincerest amend. I will not shield myself behind that wall of self-imposed isolation and instead take a chance that I have something to offer to someone else and that they have something I can learn. I will not live in the problem of fighting not to drink and instead will live in the solution living sober, and I will not expect more of myself and anyone else than can be reasonably expected. I will not judge anyone or anything lest their judgments condemn me, and I will not waste valuable time on taking anyone else’s moral inventory and focus on my own. Today, I will simply be and not resist the good that is yet to come. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M., 2014

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Alcoholism

 14
October

“My alcoholic problem began long before I drank. My personality, from the time I can remember anything, was the perfect set-up for an alcoholic career. I was always at odds with the entire world, not to say the universe. I was out of step with life, with my family, with people in general. I tried to compensate with impossible dreams and ambitions, which were simply early forms of escape. Even when I was old enough to know better, I dreamed about being as beautiful as Venus, as pure as the Madonna and as brilliant as the president of the United States is supposed to be. I had writing ambitions, and nothing would do but that I’d write like Shakespeare. …Inside, I went right on being a mass of unlovely self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement. Naturally, I succeeded at nothing.” – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 13 (“Stars Don’t Fall”), p 400.

Today, I must be honest and understand that my alcoholism was rooted long before my first drink. My “job” of being perfect in everything, whether I expected it of myself or it was expected by others, left no room for other than “self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement” when I failed to reach the highest of heights. And alcohol became my self-medication. Having come to AA, God grant that I understand now that I can attain something higher in sobriety but that perfection can never be attained and, when it isn’t, that I do not have to internalize a sense of failure. To do so will likely ignite that engine of “self-pity, queasy anxiety and sickening self-debasement” – and its fuel is alcohol. Today, I ask only for progress; perfection can wait another day. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Spiritual #Recovery

13
October
“A ‘spiritual experience’ to me meant attending meetings, seeing a group of people, all there for the purpose of helping each other; hearing the Twelve Steps and the Twelve Traditions read at a meeting, and hearing the Lord’s Prayer, which in an AA meeting has such great meaning – ‘Thy will be done, not mine.’ A spiritual awakening soon came to mean trying each day to be a little more thoughtful, more considerate, a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 10 (“It Might Have Been Worse”), p 381.

Today, if somewhere in AA I have become even “a little more courteous to those with whom I came in contact,” I may not yet realize I have experienced a spiritual awakening. And to experience such an awakening, maybe I can understand the spiritual component of the Program even if I still think I have no faith. To have a spiritual experience even if it is something as seemingly minor as being a little more courteous to other people, logically requires a spiritual belief – even if I cannot or will not acknowledge it. Today, if I can honestly see even a small change in myself for the better, I may be starting to see the possibility of a power greater than myself. If so, I’m on the right track toward recovery. And our common journey continues.

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Expectations #Recovery #Serenity

12
October

” …(T)he best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations …the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my ‘rights’ try to move in, and they, too, can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my ‘rights,’ as well as my expectations, by asking myself, ‘How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety?’ And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level – at least for the time being.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 17 (“Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict”), p 452.

Today, I will treat sobriety with respect as a gift instead of a “right” that is the product of the Program. Sobriety is no more a right than being able to drink responsibly or irresponsibly; the former is a privilege I lost by abusing the latter. And in perceiving sobriety as a gift, may other of my expectations of recovery be realistically framed: that I not expect the right not to encounter the day-to-day challenges or problems that non-alcoholics have, that I not feel entitled to a “free ride” without bumps, turmoils, even tragedies. Sobriety must be respected as a gift and not a right, a gift that requires development, nurturing and the constant reminder that it can be taken away – if I neglect nurturing it with the Program’s 12 Steps and Traditions. Today, sobriety is a gift, sometimes fragile; I will handle it with care and respect. And our common journey continues.

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Recovery #depression

11
October

” …A body badly burned by alcohol does not often recover overnight nor do twisted thinking and depression vanish in a twinkling. We are convinced that a spiritual mode of living is a most powerful health restorative. We, who have recovered from serious drinking, are miracles of mental health. …
“But this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitate to take your health problems to such persons.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 9 (“The Family Afterward”), p 133.

Today, grant me understanding and patience that recovery from extended daily drinking will come in time and only if I allow it by total abstinence. It took a long time for my body, mind and spirit to become part of the alcoholic culture; it may take as long or longer to recover. In my zeal to recover, let me understand that my physical recovery may take weeks or months but that my spiritual and emotional recovery will take longer – perhaps a lifetime longer. And until my spiritual and emotional health is back on an even playing field although my body has recovered, I need to realize that the Twelve Steps are the way for me to recovery. But should I suspect a need for medical or psychological treatment, let me not be reluctant to seek them out, as the Big Book rightly and wisely advises. And our common journey continues.

 After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Achivement #Recovery

10
October

” …I think there are some of us who, at times, try to read extra messages and complexities into the Steps. …AA is within the reach of every alcoholic, because it can be achieved in any walk of life and because the achievement is not ours but God’s. …there is no situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome in this great fellowship – Alcoholics Anonymous.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 11 (“A Flower of the South”), p 395.

Today, let me not struggle with eloquence of words to convince anyone of the redemption, reconciliation and grace of the Program and, instead, let my example serve as its most powerful testament. ” …No situation too difficult, none too desperate, no unhappiness too great to be overcome.” If today I think or feel that I have fallen too deeply too fast, am beyond saving or that the damage I have inflicted is so beyond repair that a new beginning is impossible, let me have if nothing else blind faith to make the call that could be my new beginning. Today, I do not and cannot accept that I am beyond the reach of recovery, and I set out today to start anew. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Resentment

  9
October

” …’If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.'”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 12 (“Freedom from Bondage”), p 552.

Today, mindful that resentment is the deadliest poison to alcoholics alongside alcohol, I will make a sincere effort to free myself of it once and for all. If “Let Go and Let God” has failed because I have taken back my resentment, I’ll try what is suggested here – pray for the person or thing I resent to receive what I want for myself. Even if I can’t say I am sincere and honest in my hopes for whoever or whatever I resent, I will try for two weeks to pray for the best for them. God granting, after two weeks, the monkey on my back will be gone. Like alcohol and all the garbage that comes with it, as for resentment: enough is enough. Time to dis-empower it. And our common journey continues. After the tears. 

– Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Recovery #AA

  8
October

“In AA, we can begin again no matter how late it may be. I have begun again. At 54, I have had come true for me the old wish, ‘If only I could live my life over, knowing what I know.’ That’s what I am doing, living again, knowing what I know. I hope I have been able to impart …at least a bit of what I know; the joy of living, the irresistible power of divine love and its healing strength, and the fact that we, as sentient beings, have the knowledge to choose between good and evil, and, choosing good, are made happy.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 543.

Today, it’s not too late until it’s too late – and it’s too late only when I’ve died. Until then, I have the lifeline and the choice of sobriety, and all I need do is grab and hold onto the lifeline, the lifeline being AA. Even if I cannot yet envision the Program’s promises of sobriety if I adhere to the code of ethics, or the Twelve Steps, I know already and all too well the life I have if I don’t begin anew. In the end, the decision is a matter of choice – to continue in the life of active drinking that I already know with agonizing pain, or to choose something better. Today, I choose something better: it’s not too late because I’m here! And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Inventory

  7
October

“The spark that was to flare into the first AA group was struck at Akron, Ohio, in June 1935, during a talk between a New York stockbroker and an Akron physician. Six months earlier, the broker had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience, following a meeting with an alcoholic friend who had been in contact with the Oxford Groups of that day. He had also been greatly helped by the late Dr. William D. Silkworth, a New York specialist in alcoholism …From this doctor, the broker had learned the grave nature of alcoholism. Though he could not accept all the tenets of the Oxford Groups, he was convinced of the need for moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “Foreword to the Second Edition,” pp-xv, xvi.

Today, “moral inventory, confession of personality defects, restitution to those harmed, helpfulness to others, and the necessity of belief in and dependence upon God.” With that simple objective, the ensuing Twelve Steps guide me to the promise of the Program: sobriety, serenity, humility, and service. I need not complicate or make a mystery of my reason to seek out AA or how to earn the gifts of recovery and sobriety. With my admission that I am powerless over alcohol and whatever else I cannot control and a determination and commitment to go to any length to make my life one without alcohol, and to make it work, nothing exists to complicate my recovery. Today, being drunk 24/7 has had its run; I want sobriety. Today, I begin. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Solution #Recovery

  6
October

“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Ch 2 (“There Is a Solution”), p 24.

Today, if the numbing physical and psychological impact of my last drunk has been weakened by the passage of time, let my defense be the outcome of my last drunk – likely the same consequence, if not worse, of every drunk before the last one. I have long since passed the point that a drunk tonight will be less physically and less psychologically costly than my last drunk, even if it was years ago. My sobriety today does not promise that I will be sober tomorrow, but it does promise that I have a choice today to drink or not. If the memory of the physical and emotional toll of my last drunk has been salved by the passage of time, pray I know the reality that I and I alone will be responsible for the consequences of another drunk. And lest I forget that those consequences were too heavy then, and they will probably be too heavy – or heavier – now. Today, I have the choice, and I choose not to forget my last drunk so that I retain the choice not to drink. And our common journey continues.

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Hell

  5
October

“My story has a happy ending, but not of the conventional kind. I had a lot more hell to go through. But what a difference there is between going through hell without a power greater than one’s self, and with it! …(M)y teetering tower of worldly success collapsed. My alcoholic associates fired me, took control and ran the enterprise into bankruptcy. My alcoholic wife took up someone else, divorced me and took with her all my remaining property. The most terrible blow of my life befell me after I’d found sobriety through AA. …One night my son, when he was only 16, was suddenly and tragically killed. The Higher Power was on deck to see me through, sober. I think He’s on hand to see my son through, too. I think He’s on hand to see all of us through whatever may come to us.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Stopped in Time,” Ch 16 (“Me an Alcoholic?”), p 437.

Today, grant me foresight to know and be prepared for the day when my AA Program is called upon to see me sober through the bad and not only the good. I must accept that bad things are going to happen in my life sober and that AA is not a promise that the bad will not happen. But AA is a promise that I can get through the bad sober if I not only adhere to the Twelve Steps but also trust a Higher Power that is stronger than me. I absolutely must be willing to be open to the idea of a Higher Power, however, even if that Power is the Program itself. On good days, it’s easy to talk the talk of AA; on bad ones, it’s another to walk the walk. Disappointments and even tragedy can be expected to hit me, just as they do the non-alcoholic and non-addicted person. Let me begin today to invest in a Program strong enough that I can draw upon when the good days aren’t so good. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #AA #Recovery #love

 4
October

“For me, AA is a synthesis of all the philosophy I’ve ever read, all of the positive, good philosophy, all of it based on love. I have seen that there is only one law, the law of love, and there are only two sins; the first is to interfere with the growth of another human being, and the second is to interfere with one’s own growth.” 

– Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 11 (“He Who Loses His Life”), p 542.

Today, I ask if AA is really a philosophy and how I not interfere with anyone’s growth – emotional and spiritual – including my own. If the traditional definition of philosophy as an ideal state of life is applied to AA, then, no, AA is not a philosophy. Rather, it is a discipline because AA does not promise a rose garden with sobriety but gives us the tools to effectively deal with the thorns in the rose bed. And discipline is required to stick to the Steps that help us deal effectively with the thorns of life. How do I not impede anyone’s personal growth, including my own? Simple: look to Step 11 and seek my Higher Power’s will and the ability to carry it out. His will, not mine, be done. And our common journey continues. After the tears. 

– Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Meetings #God #Sobriety

 3
October

” …I went to my first meeting. I was a very fortunate drunk. God has been good to me both in my drinking and in my sobriety. Because, thank God, since I came into this program, I haven’t had any trouble. Oh yes, I get the dry jitters once in a while, but that isn’t anything to worry about. It passes away. But I’ve never come close to that first drink. I took the advice of people I had heard at meetings, the people in the group. And I jumped in with both feet. Someone told me, ‘When you drank, you didn’t get half-drunk. You went all the way. In this program, there aren’t any halfway measures. In here, you must go all the way, too.’ So I attended as many meetings as possible.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, “They Lost Nearly All,” Ch 8 (“Desperation Drinking”), p 516.

Today, “half measures availed us nothing.” Today, I will apply the full measures I exerted on drinking to get sober, and I will listen to the voices of experience and set aside the egoism that I think I know better than anyone else. And if a shot of the “dry jitters” creeps in, I have the Twelve Steps to fall back on and the promise that, “This, too, shall pass.” But I must first get to the point that enough is enough as far as drinking goes and, today, I must give it up, face that enough is enough. With that desire for something better, I have taken my first baby step. And our common journey continues

After the tears. – Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Recovery #Fear

  2
October

“It would be wonderful were I able to tell you that my confidence in God and my application of the Twelve Steps to my daily living have utterly banished fear. This would not be the truth. The most accurate answer I can give you is this: Fear has never again ruled my life since that day …when I found that a Power greater than myself could not only restore me to sanity but could keep me both sober and sane. Never in 16 years have I dodged anything because I was afraid of it. I have faced life instead of running away from it.”

 – Alcoholics Anonymous, 3rd Edition, 1976, Alcoholics Anonymous Number Three, Ch 9 (“The Man Who Mastered Fear”), pp 284-85.

Today: fear of what? Of trying to be free of the uncertain but predictable consequences of drinking? Of trying the untested and unfamiliar path of sobriety? Of taking responsibility for the consequences of my actions when drunk, when sober? Of telling someone I’m sorry? Of admitting that I can’t do it alone anymore, that I need something better and stronger than myself? Of the risk of opening myself knowing that once the heart is open nothing will ever be the same? Afraid of facing fear? Afraid of what more fear will do to me? Today, if on nothing more than blind faith in something stronger and greater than myself, I confront my fears because I’ve empowered them far too long. In facing it, God granting, may I have control of my fears – not the other way around. And our common journey continues. After the tears. –

Chris M.

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After the Tears #essentialsofrec #Prayer #meditation #step11

  1
October

“Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

 – Step 11, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Today, whether I have embraced the concept of a Higher Power or am skeptical either as an atheist or agnostic, I remember again that Step 11 requires that I be at leastopen to the possibility of something greater and stronger than myself. In doing so, I must also seek the will and way of something other than my own. This is the definition of humility – to be open to learning and carrying out the will of a power which is stronger and wiser than me. I cannot be reminded or jolted enough that history has proven time and again that running my life on my terms has always led to the same disastrous results and outcome; thus, the insanity of addiction. Today, I will consciously remember that I am dependent on a wiser and stronger power to guide me on a non-destructive course and that I am risking a slip or relapse if I forget that it hasn’t worked my way. And our common journey continues. 

After the tears. – Chris M.

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